This is going to be quick, because I hardly listen to music, or at least not in the snobby, obsessive way such an article would necessitate but here it goes!
Album of the Year: Free by Kid Cudi
According to Spotify I was in the Top 48,000 of Kid Cudi listeners, which was the top 0.04 percentile, so I may be biased. But after some duds Cudi dropped a remarkably uplifting and energetic album full of listenable bangers. This dropped two weeks after he got married, and you can tell after settling in to sobriety and healthy relationships he's in a better place, and amazingly, that has actually translated into evolution of his music as an artist. Finding positivity and hope didn't make his music shitty! It's surprising. I feel a lot of kinship in finding ways to finally be happy and I really dug this, especially when listening to his earlier depression and drug-fueled earlier works
Song of the Year: "Archbishop Harold Holmes" by Jack White
I just like it. It's got such a pulsing rhythm and feels like the only good rock song we've gotten in the past ten years. I sincerely dog the video and John C. Reilly's commitment as well.
Video of the Year: "Manchild" by Sabrina Carpenter
We already named her the Summer Jam Queen but this video takes the cake as well! I am going to acknowledge however, that this is basically just A$AP Rocky's "Taylor Swif" which we named the top video of last year. I do like Sabrina's insane charisma and the purely unironic Americana on display here. There is a sense of throwing caution and pretension to the wind which is really refreshing.
Wow. What a summer of...absolutely nothing. We've called this for a few years now but there are a lot of factors at work, namely the difficulty for new artists to have staying power, fractured listening habits, drop-offs in radio and MTV listening (which honestly exposed me to a lot of new music back in the day...I think I first heard Gorillaz' "Clint Eastwood" on MTV at 8 am one morning before school), a trend towards younger people listening to older music, and this year in particular has a noted lack of big time major artists dropping well....anything. I couldn't even come up with eight songs for the whole summer that were popular.
So here's uh...our list I guess for the past almost twenty years:
2007: "Umbrella" by Rihanna 2008: "Bleeding in Love" by Leona Lewis 2009: "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas 2010: "California Gurls" by Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg 2011: "Park Rock Anthem" by LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock 2012: "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen 2013: "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke ft. T.I. & Pharrell 2014: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charle XCX 2015: "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon 2016: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake 2017: "Despacito" by Daddy Yankee, Luis Fonsi ft. Justin Bieber 2018: "Never Be the Same" by Camila Cabello 2019: "Old Town Road" by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus
2020: "Rockstar" by DaBaby
2021: "good 4 u" by Olivia Rodrigo
2022: "Running Up that Hill" by Kate Bush
2023: "Kill Bill" by SZA
2024: "Not Like Us" by Kendrick Lamar
Let's go ten years back for a second, because I've always had issues with "Shut Up and Dance" technically being the summer jam winner. That's just nonsense. But damn, look at these legends. Looking back it's so tempting to elevate "Cool for the Summer", "Lean on", "Trap Queen", or "Post to Be" eatin that booty like groceries. I think it should probably be "Can't Feel My Face" which is a quintessential Weeknd song, but runner-up should actually be "Bad Blood" which feels like a very minor Taylor Swift song now. I suppose this is why we can't do this thing ten years later, it really has to be in the moment. Maybe we'll stick with the wrong choice so EVERYONE can be unhappy.
So what is it this year? Here are some candidates:
"Golden" by Huntr/x
Yes, from KPOP Demon Hunters! A song from a movie! Wow! "Golden" is I suppose the best song of the pop musical movie to include. We didn't track it, but it's coming a bit too late to really be THE song of summer,
"Ordinary" by Alex Warren
Honestly, I have never heard this song before seeing it on Summer lists. It's also really bad.
"What I want" by Morgen Wallen ft. Tate McRae
Morgen might be the artist of the summer, which just a million songs going on right now. Tate McRae is also the biggest up and comer right now. This is here more because it's a vacuum of any other talent right now.
"Love Somebody" by Morgen Wallen
I'm a total victim of not really being able to distinguish country, but it's important to acknowledge their place in pop culture and Morgen Wallen has really transcended like few others ever could. This is maybe his most popular? I guess? Or maybe it's "I got better" or "I'm the Problem." I don't know, he's not winning so go listen and pout if you want.
Others
There seems to be a middling Billie Eilish, sombr, Doja Cat, Chappell Roan, Playboi Carti, and Benson Boone song every other week this summer. It's all kind of mid and blurry. So let's give it to--
"Manchild" by Sabrina Carpenter
That's right! Not only is this the real only major release by an established pop artist (as much as you can call Sabrina Carpenter "established"), but it's a worthy follow up to "Expresso" which would have made great strides last year if not for the "Not Like Us" juggernaut. It's summer-y, buzzy, poppy fun, with just a bit of girl power, but also a music video that's super Americana but also surreal and bonkers. And I know, A$AP Rocky did this last year, I literally named that video the best of the year. You can't pull that crap, Sabrina. But it also shows just how funny she is. You know, outside of her Christmas special.
Listen, I don't really go through all the albums, I barely watch movies anymore. But there are always some fun things to highlight!
Artist of the Year: It is definitely just recency bias because I watched her terrible Christmas Special, but the real breakout is Sabrina Carpenter this year. I don't think she's actually a human being but she does have some catchy songs.
This is despite Kendrick clearly earning the Song of Summer and I might say the year, in "Not Like Us" which is just hilarious.
Video of the Year: "Taylor Swif" by A$AP Rocky
Dud of the Year: Lastly, I want to comment on how Katy Perry apparently dropped a comeback album that no one listened to and a feminist anthem co-written by Dr. Luke. Yay!
That's it - we're all done people! Another summer jam has come to an end. Like three weeks ago but IRREGARDLESS we have another Summer Jam Champion in the books. Here, of course is a current updated list:
2007: "Umbrella" by Rihanna 2008: "Bleeding in Love" by Leona Lewis 2009: "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas 2010: "California Gurls" by Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg 2011: "Park Rock Anthem" by LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock 2012: "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen 2013: "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke ft. T.I. & Pharrell 2014: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charle XCX 2015: "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon 2016: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake 2017: "Despacito" by Daddy Yankee, Luis Fonsi ft. Justin Bieber 2018: "Never Be the Same" by Camila Cabello 2019: "Old Town Road" by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus
2020: "Blinding Lights" by the Weeknd
2021: "good 4 u" by Olivia Rodrigo
2022: No winner?
2023: No winner?
Alright, crap, I've got to clean this up. I don't know what I was doing, apparently I just gave up the past two years.
First of all, when I think 2020 I definitely think "Rockstar" by DaBaby and even at the time , "Blinding Lights" won by a single point. I dunno, I think we go back to "Rockstar" retroactively.
2022 was definitely murky when "Running Up that Hill" definitely won, but I'm loth to acknowledge it since it debuted 40 years earlier. But that was definitely the summer of Kate Bush, so let's put it there.
2023 looking back I think is "Kill Bill" by SZA, a year gone that just feels like one to beat. So let's call it that one.
2020: "Rockstar" by DaBaby
2021: "good 4 u" by Olivia Rodrigo
2022: "Running Up that Hill" by Kate Bush
2023: "Kill Bill" by SZA
The whole point of the Summer Jam is to find that immortal song that we always associate with that particular summer. I think that cleans up a lot of the past five years, which are admittedly really rough. We really got messed up after COVID, huh?
2024 is easy. One reason why this is so fun is that every year is different. 2020 was close between two, 2021 was pretty defined, 2022 had an anachronistic jam, and 2023 didn't have too much at all. But 2024 was remarkably clear.
#1: "Not Like Us" by Kendrick Lamar
#2: "Espresso" by Sabrina Carpenter
#3: "A Bar Song" by Shaboozey
No real debate, nothing opaque, that is definitively the order and if we had been doing a weekly countdown, that would have probably been the order damn near every single week up to and including right now, when this week I feel the same way.
2025? Meh, we'll probably do like we did this year, once a month or whenever we feel like it. But we need to keep announcing a winner! Probably!
I somewhat yearn for the golden years of our seventeen week summer break. We are having fun, but I do sort of miss those days. Anyway, we've never quite had a summer like this where we have three clear contenders in a dead heat, although all three also very clearly have their own distinct ranking. I was about to say "A Bar Song" was losing steam, too, then I heard it on regular radio the other day. All three just seem to be where they always were, and we'll keep going with that. So, let's start with the periphery:
"I Had Some Help" by Post Malone and Morgan Wallen
I mean, it's fine, I don't think I'm adding it to a playlist to listen to in the 2040s but it's here and picking up steam.
"Please Please Please" by Sabrina Carpenter
Let's call Sabrina the Team USA of summer - not Gold but winning the medal count. This song is maybe taking over "Expresso" but not really.
"Polkamania" by Weird Al
Yeah!
"A Bar Song" by Shaboozey
It's my pick for song of summer and the one that gets in my head the most. I do think it's a clear #3 but it picked up a bit this week. Everything about it rules and I hope it's bigger than "Tipsy" ever was. Sorry J-Kwon. Shaboozey has another track out now, too. I don't think it will be a thing.
"Expresso" by Sabrina Carpenter
I mean, c'mon, definitely industry plant, right? She's just effortless in this debut and it's a big announcement of her on the pop scene. It feels like any other pop song. Something elevates it. I think it might just be horniness.
"Not Like Us" by Kendrick
I never want to prematurely annoint a Song of Summer, but something would have to be really really ubiquitous in August to overthrow Kendrick at this point. The only one I can really remember is "I Gotta Feeling" way back in 2009 that surged real late. There's a million things to note about this. It might be the most popular diss track of all time, and also one that really really sounds like libel? And Drake can't sue because he'd either look soft(er) or in discovery they'd find out he really is a pedophile. The whole thing is nuts. It is a good song, though. Catchy. Kendrick is definitely killing a beetle with a sledgehammer and the whole origin of the beef is so damn stupid but like, I don't know of any other beef with such a definitive winner.
Other people who are trying...
Charli XCX came out with a new one with Billie Eilish, which is a weird combo, and not a very good song. She also had "360" earlier, but I have found that while I want to be interested, I really can't get into it. Eminem's "Houdini" is maybe okay, but it's just not as big. Billie Eilish does have a lot of songs out, but they're all really depressing.
That's it! We have a few more weeks and then we'll call it for Labor Day!
We are knee deep in cicadas and summer sunshine now, folks, and as with any great American Independence Day Weekend it's time to check in on the vibes and rhythms that have kept our hearts pumping and our feet chattering this great season.
To be honest, hardly anything had changed in the past month, and I feel like we have a decent tie for the Top Three Songs of Summer so far. There are a couple other things coming in and our as they always do, but I'm curious what ends up having the legs to keep surging. Let's do this:
Chappel Roan / Billie Eilish
Each of a ton of songs out right now. I haven't heard any of them playing often and when I check them out I have no recognition nor desire to listen to them further. This is why this column is being dropped, people. I have just peaked and entered the long depressive valley of adulthood.
I don't know what's going on with this guy, but he has a movie, Bando Calrissian and some songs to go along with it. I like it, it's weird, rock-ish, and very determined. Not popular at all, not jammable, and not played any where. Hot jam of the week! Sounds like bad Sum 41 but soulfull.
I have never heard this song before until I clicked it to write this article because it's charting. I can't make rhyme nor reason of our lives anymore. Whatever. This ain't my bag and doesn't feel like that much of a summer earworm, either.
I mean, this such a blatant attempt at vintage Eminem, and it's not very good or catchy in any way. Em is attaching himself to the anti-woke mob like he tried to position himself as an anti-Bush leader in the mid-2000s. I mean, fine, whatever, we can see it but no one really cares, Marshall. This is not that fun.
I actually really like this, it's just the ultimate no brain song. Industry plant of summer? I haven't heard "Please Please Please" on the radio at all but it's doing well on charts. I still hear like, "Feather" and shit. I think we need a whole other category for Midwestern radio hits.
I caught all up on the Drake Beef stuff, and man it is so much stupider than I thought. The origin, to my understanding, is J. Cole saying him, Drake, and Kendrick were the Big Three, and Kendrick was just like, "Nah, I'm the best one." And there you have it. I mean, he's right, Kendrick vs. Drake is like Chappelle Show Wayne Brady against actual Wayne Brady. No one who starred in Degrassi can claim any kind of street cred. Stay in your lane, Drake, I liked "HYFR." This might be the most popular diss track of all time, and that's got to sting. Jeez the lyrics are all about Drake being a pedophile, though, it's nuts. I really love how Kendrick just played this five straight times in a row at his Juneteenth show. It's an unabashed and hitherto unforeseen level of pettiness which is great. Kendrick Lamar is the Reverse Flash of hip-hop but I'm on board.
This is really the only song that hits all three boxes for me. Played on the radio, played on Spotify, and I actually like it. It might be the Song of Summer but it needs to go on a little bit more to really earn its keep. I talked about earworms earlier, this is the only song I've really heard all year that sticks in my head. See, I like sort of country songs.
Midwestern Radio Hits
I don't know man, this is like, what I hear when I drive around. I really don't know how to even interpret the world any more. None of these are anywhere near the Billboard Hot 100 or Spotify Top 50. They just kind of exist under some long outdated model? Here we go!
"obsessed" by Olivia Rodrigo
I hear this all the time. It's not even one of her bigger hits from her last album but our radio loves it.
Yeah, dude. After years of decline, I don't know. This summer was confounded by both actually important things going on in my personal life (my pregnant wife), a waning disinterest in a lot of pop culture for primarily personal reasons (again, creating a life changes you), and a continued fracturing of what it even means to be a Summer Jam.
I'm not sure there was even one big song that you could point do and say, "Yes, that's it!" So this isn't even in any order and I'm not anointing one. That may seem like it breaks from tradition, but if you've learned anything from this site is that tradition for anything matters very little. We always focus on what our lives, actually mean, and freely disregard what we are supposed to do for what we are doing. Anyway, let's review a smattering:
Morgen Wallen brought huge crossover force to the summer and found a lot of mainstream pop success in addition to the country charts. Country might actually be getting popular, and I know that there are more country stations than any other, but that is also because radio stations exist in like five mile blocks and you need a lot to fill the...country. But real humans might actually be listening now, and this was a big summer. Anyway, it was also apparently the #1 Streamed song on Spotify.
This is probably my pick if I had to grab one. SZA has been around forever, but is also finally finding some mainstream appeal, especially with youths. This is not her best song, but easily one of her most accessible. It was on the radio forever and is very listenable. I dug it.
This was also the summer of Ice Spice, which is fun because it rhymes. Man, this is the most mispronounced song ever. My rate of mondegreens are already way too high. I can't understand anything. I thought it was about astrological signs. Again, on the radio forever and really did seem catchy. But that doesn't even matter any more, does it!? I think people liked it.
It's genuinely rare for anyone to come out with a song as popular (and superior) so an initial hit fourteen years apart, and ten years after her peak. But "Flowers" is great, unpretentious, a true maturation of Miley as an artist, which proves what a lot of knew, which is that she's far more Lady GaGa than Katy Perry - as in, she's actual artist with things to say, someone who works hard, and finds new ways to challenge herself. We're big fans.
Taylor Swift might be one of the most powerful artists (and frankly, human beings) on the planet right now. She is more powerful than the NFL. And the movies. It's wackadoodle. She keeps coming out with genuinely great hits. When do we just acknowledge her as one of our greatest artists? She had some continual hurdles or some reason. This and "Karma" are reliably great, either are fine choices for song of summer.
Dua has had some great years and Barbie (2023)'s obscene success certainly thrust this forward. It's a standard Dua Lipa song, which means it's very solid but not earth-shattering, but it also really works as a perfect song for the movie, where it can just innocuously exist but is also a legitimate banger.
Is it possible that Olivia Rodrigo isn't an industry plant after all? Nice that she's showing she's not a one-hit wonder although this isn't really any kind of step forward as an artist. It's a step sideways, which is...fine. It's not backwards awful. It's just not really anything hugely new or interesting. Will it get on a Halloween mix this year?
Obviously the Tracy Chapman version is definitive, but man this version hits hard. It wasn't all that big, but I did really dig it this summer. Somehow the blue collar cred just seeps out of this one and it becomes deeply sad. I get bummed out just about every time, but it's a good kind of bummer.
This was definitely a song that would come on, be enjoyable, but like, you could never place the artist or what the song really was. It was a classic 5-8 spot by our old list system. Like, always around but never at the top. And again, I don't think it ever did well on streaming. Just radio. Sort of. We're in weird territory here, folks. I don't even know how we share anything.
What a great 2008 song, right? Of course it's got today's modern sampling. But there isn't really any passion here, it's two old dudes fighting for relevancy. I mean, it's fine, but this made zero splash anywhere. Except on my local radio stations that would still play it, presumably to go after the wacky dad vote. As you can tell, I'm so out of touch. It's why I'm retiring. I couldn't get into any Bad Bunny this summer.
This always reminded me of that intro song from La La Land (2016), you remember that? I feel like no one cares about La La Land anymore. Which is fine, but the future will be surprised to remember how big of a deal we felt about it at the time. This song is so light and fluffy, it really is a great summer song. It seemed like it was mildly popular.
We gotta have one Tik Tok meme song, right? Man, all this shit has just left me. Anyway, this is pretty cool, it's got a tubthumper of a beat and some pretty fire bars to land on our poor old ears. I'm down with the youth. I don't know if anyone actually listened to it, I think that maybe it didn't take off? I saw them running down the street and stuff, seemed fun.
Here's another sampled song that does work, but it also feels old and outdated. But sort of popular! It's fine. We had so many just fine songs this summer. It gets me kind of amped, right? I don't know, the original is probably better and they're just counting on nostalgia to push forward, but the truth is there are plenty of great original songs like "You Wish" out there that are genuine products of artistry. Oh well.
There were other ones like "Chemical" by Post Malone, which is just kind of dumb, and that Selena Gomez song that starts with VIBES which was cool but came out like a year ago, I guess? Anyone, one of the above, or definitely just Bad Bunny is the song of summer.
And that's probably why I'm hanging this up. It's all Bad Bunny's fault. But more accurately, it's my fault for not being able to distinguish in the slightest modern Spanish-language songs from each other. Pop culture moving on without me combined with some significant life changes are really fueling a disinterest in keeping up this section of our Fabled Blog. Maybe we'll keep doing a Fall wrap up, right around Halloween, of course, but I just think its time to move on.
I know, your ears are blistered from all the tasty jams crushing the radio this summer! Nah, I think we literally broke somewhere in the past year. No more mainstream shared music. That's okay. We've still got some cherry jams for you here, a little past the infamous July 4th weekend.
It's just a weird time, man. Your options are country, Taylor Swift, Bad Bunny, or the Barbie Soundtrack. That's the deal. I might even break this column more than I usually do. Let's just throw everything at the wall in no real order.
Morgan Wallen and Jason Aldean
I heard, "Try That in a Small Town" song by Aldean, and I dunno, it's typical bizarrely defensive posturing. Morgan Wallen seems to have more crossover appeal with "Last Night" overtaking "Wasted on You" as the preeminent song. There are always some more creeping in the woodwork, but Wallen seems to be the big dude who is getting the mainstream hits right now. Probably because he's not actually overtly racist.
Taylor
Yeah, pick "Karma" or "Cruel Summer" or even "Anti-Hero" still and Taylor Swift is still cranking out the jams. It's bizarre to say, but it's because she's an artist and is still coming up with things to say. The more she shakes off what she should be and the more she just puts out genuinely groundbreaking songs that continue to evolve and push her image the more success she seems to find. In an era of façade, posturing, and gilded success we yearn to latch on to something genuine. Yeah, I'm saying Taylor has it.
Bad Bunny
I'd like to throw in not just Bad Bunny, who has had a remarkable run the last few years, but other Hispanic hits like Peso Pluma and Grupo Frontera. I'm sorry that I just can't get into this stuff, but I don't want to ignore it. After all, Summer Jams exist irregardless of my opinion. But for sure they aren't playing this on my local radio. All I get is country trash. Maybe if I heard it every day I'd develop some kind of yearning for the hot Latin rhythm.
Barbie
Pick Nicki, Dua, Lizzo, Billie, Charlie XCX. I mean, this soundtrack is bangin, bro. Barbie's huge, the music's huge, you love it, I love it, RED WHITE AND PINK BABY! I'm not sure how much any of this will last and it's a little late in summer for anything to jump out, but it's definitely in the zeitgeist right now.
The Rest
Is Olivia Rodrigo not actually an industry plant?! "Vampire" is pretty solid. SZA and Ice Spice and PinkPantheress are all still holding strong. "Creepin'" remix from the Weeknd, that's a thing. GaGa and Miley still creepin too. I'm not super into "fukumean" by Gunna, but that's representing all of hip hop right now.
So, that's that. What songs are you vibin this summer? Anyone rediscover any other Kate Bush songs?
Alright folks we are rounding the last few weeks of a relatively forgettable summer and only have a few more jams in the hopper. I really don't know what song should earn the crown this year. I mean, we actually do all know it's definitely "Running Up That Hill" but I protest mainly on my annoyance with Stranger Things and also, as wonderful as it is, totally not a new song! Whatever, it definitely wins, let's run down the rest:
Hot JAM of the Month: "Cracker Island" by Gorillaz
Gorillaz as of late have seemed to somehow dipped even further into its EDM indulgences and that's not always great, but for me and this band it's like pizza. Even the cold and old bits are going to taste great. This is actually a bit of a banger and their distinctive voice is showing through all the nonsense. Obviously not a hit at all, but this is the HOT JAM baby! It's just hot.
This track is hot as hell. I haven't heard it anywhere ever until this week but I really enjoy it. It seems to be letting Megan rip her flow up instead of putting her into some novelty garbage (I obviously also love the novelty garbage, no hating here). But she's just doing her thing here and it's really fun and refreshing to here. It's not that popular anywhere but I dig it.
What do folks think of my main man Yung Gravy. The word problematic is thrown around quite a bit. I mean, maybe it's cringe? I don't know. Is he self-aware? Or is he reveling in it? Am I terrible for unironically enjoying pretty much everything he does? This has gotten some mainstream traction which is fun. Bold to ape the Rickrolling legend so blatantly, and this song is...well, it might actually be better, right? But quality was never the point. Homeboy's got to keep his glasses on, though. He an ugly dude.
This is the epitome of Summer 2022. Completely forgettable background music that's pleasant and inoffensive that masks a deep deep darkness as the world implodes. I dunno, this song definitely sucks, there's just nothing to it but it's definitely been around for a spell. Your reaction is like, "Oh yeah, that song. Sure."
Yeah, same kind of crap here. Like, this song exists. I get grumpier the less interesting a song is, especially for the talent involved here. It's just very safe and uninspiring. Seems to be the radio a lot though. There's a weird gap between radio play, Spotify play, and what's actually popular any given time. Almost as if the artifice of this entire column's purpose for existence is crumbling before our eyes. Why do you think we've only done once a month this year?
Yeah, this like sort of in that same zone, but it actually has a little more of an edge when you clue in. It's definitely a "Uh, yeah, what is that song? I've heard that somewhere." Beihold is a new voice and the beat is super minimalist, but the lyrics are deep enough and I like the way her voice flows over the bridge. I'll put it in my much vaulted plus column, definitely a presence this summer.
I don't know what Doja's deal is. I remember "Mooo!" and "Go To Town" and like, oh wow look at this original wacky taboo-breaking voice! And then we she blew up I guess her original voice is just to dress and make videos exactly like Nicki Minaj and Cardi B? I don't know, I'm so grateful for the amount of black female rappers now, but why do they all seem to be pigeonholed into the same aesthetic. I blame the studio and I think that we're not actually quite as far along with representation as we like to pretend to be. But I do like this song! And most of Doja's other tracks.
This is what a real pop superstar looks like. She's somehow not chasing any trends but manages to update her music and crank out another true banger. This has really taken over August in the way that only Beyonce can. And for the record, Beyonce isn't actually that popular, it's just popular to think she's popular (she gets crushed by Taylor and Mariah, who are intern annihilated by Rihanna), but she still has a tremendous amount of integrity as an artist for someone of her still admittedly stratospheric level. Anyway, this song rules.
Next whatever...
I left Nicki off. She's giving Rick James her Sir Mix A Lot treatment, and it's not all that good, but whatever. Latto's always there, and I even sniffed some Imagine Dragons this month, but the former is assuredly fading (even if it's my personal favorite summer jam) and the latter is obviously hot ocean garbage.
Yeah, our Summer Jam tracking has been in shambles this year. That's okay. It weirdly feels like the time to move on. There hasn't been a super dominant track to vibe too this season. Where is our "Despacito" or anything by Olivia Rodrigo? I heard "Good 4 u" on the radio the other day. Simpler times. Let's have at it.
Obvi. I like Yung Gravy a lot. I don't think that's problematic, but it really feels problematic. Maybe he is? I don't know. He spits smooth jazz. He's kind of a joke rapper but kind of a real rapper, I don't know. Funny name and spinning a rickroll. Did he ruin rickrolling? Well, who cares. This is fun.
My wife keeps singing this to me. It's on TikTok or something. I don't care that I'm old and lost. I mean heyyy this is the hot list, baby! All the cherriest summer jams and hottest trends! I don't think this even a thing anymore. Probably, since it just dropped on an old married couple's radar. It's fun, right? That's kind of a cool notion. Crap I know I'm not cool. That's okay. Summer Jams is a youngin's dream.
I love the big bangers that crash the two hottest names of the moment together. Megan and Dua both exploded last year and it's fun to see them come together with an appropriately mind-blowing track. This hasn't been as popular as I would have guessed considering it's solid and has some great pedigree, but it's still there. I wonder if we've moved past these kinds of super collabos and more into Kate Bush.
Yeah. Fuck yeah. Elvis (2022) baby! When I think Elvis I think Doja Cat. I don't know why this isn't an Elvis song, but I actually like it a lot. I have an alarm set to Bad Bitch Energy on Spotify and this always gets me awake and up in the morning. It's actually doing well as a song and as a movie, so here you go! Summer jam! Doja Cat, just stop thirsting over the Stranger Things kids.
This hasn't really dominated, but I keep hearing it, and it's that kind of song that I like more the more I hear it. The whole song just builds until you hit that flute solo. Lizzo made flutes cool, man, it's legit. This feels like a perennial third or fourth place song if we were doing the weekly countdowns, not totally ubiquitous, but big time production and staying power. I also want to comment on the rapping style that sounds like Jack Harlow or Bad Bunny, kind of this cascading, infectious sort of melody. I dig it, but curious if that's a trend now.
I don't dig this all that much, it's kind of an everywhere song that isn't really that momentous or distinctive. It's fine, I generally like StarFox himself but this doesn't jump out at me. Still, it's relatively popular and has made a name for itself by now. I guess I hear it often. I think I usually change the station.
From my understanding this is actually about his aunt, not titties, which is admittedly disappointing, but this song is still pretty popular. Bad Bunny is having a great summer with a ton of tracks of his album blasting all over Spotify. It's hard to tell what's even popular anymore, I don't know. Summer Jam is so broken. Bad Bunny's okay, I'm not super into this, but he deserves his place here.
Is THIS the song of summer? It's my song of summer. Latto had a great performance bringing in Mariah Carey at the BET Awards. If only the Zohan were alive to see this day. Is it heresy to say I actually don't dig the official music video that much? It just seems derivative. Like a early-2010s level stock Nicki Minaj rip. Just plasticy jumpsuits and fluffy clouds. This once showed personality, but now it shows industry plants. I don't want to say a bad word about Latto! This is my favorite song of summer! But I also think she's been industry molded a bit based on what has worked with other female black rappers, which is at her own expense.
Next month or whenever...
Beyonce has some stuff out, as does Drake, Post Malone, and Jack Harlow. Cardi B and Kanye just dropped! Maybe we'll get some traction. We're just so splintered, I've been saying this for years, but I'm really feeling it this summer. Maybe if I was keeping track every week I'd feel like someone had some momentum, but we do feel like we're in a weird zone now. Am I nuts or is this the summer that everyone breaks?
That's right! You thought it was dead! But we have to acknowledge our tasty summer jams somehow, even if it's not a weekly recount of our famously least-clicked articles ever. This is the first summer since 2010 that we haven't done this crap and it feels weird. But not that weird. That was a slog. So let's just recount once a month the Top Eight Cherriest Jams and by the end of Summer we'll have a big list! Or something!
And no, we're not including "Running Up That Hill."
HOT Jam of the Month:
Let's kick this off right! I dig the huge wave of badass girl rappers who can get some music videos out there these days. Thanks, Nicki Minaj and Cardi B. They're just my jam. I dug this and it's definitely not the last one on this list. This sounds like a late 90s R&B jam, but with a little more bite. It's not really a summer jam contender or anything, but it's pretty fun.
I wonder what Dua Lipa thinks of this track? It's not even the most prominent Jack Harlow song of the month, but it's my favorite. And around here that's what counts, baby! I dig the flow even if Harlow is kind of a forgettable performer. He makes songs, which is cool.
Sheeran is terrible but I really like Camila. This song is a fair attempt by both, neither of whom are strangers to the Summer Throne. This didn't really light too much up so far, but was entertaining enough to be a mid-to-low level summer fling. It doesn't really stand out to become a real game changing it, but yeah, it exists. We got a bit of those. Maybe that's why "Big Dick Energy" has exploded in my brain so hard.
I'd like to see more pandemic songs come out, especially from Kendrick Lamar. I know, I know, we've been getting it for the past two years, but what's even more fun than a pandemic that elucidates and exacerbates system racism and economic inequality is the fun of living in all the exposed shit we now have. And it's got a good beat.
Here's that bigger Jack Harlow song. It feels weird to me that we're bringing back songs from my...jeez, not even youth to sample. I was like a 20 year old man when "Glamorous" dropped in 2006. I like what Harlow does with the sample here, although it's clearly not a better song. It's not even that D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S. We need our songs to be weirder.
Starfox himself, Harry Styles comes back, another well trod Summer Veteran. I'm not super into this one. It kind of feels like another background song that's been around forever but no actually it's new or whatever. It's very mournful. I need a little more salsa in my summer jam! People like it, it'll be around for a while.
I'm still proud of breaking Lizzo here back in like 2018 and by now she's an old Summer Jam vet! This is like, old later day Lizzo now. She had her prime in the middle, and now she's ready to cement her legacy. Later Lizzo. She's lost none of the fiery passion that broke her through to the mainstream and this jazz-infused beat is prime for summer lovin.
My personal pick for song of the month - the most innovative, sexy, dramatic, and contemporary jam! It flows and spills over itself oozing with well, big dick energy. I can get behind it. I'm just being honest. It hasn't totally blown up the charts, but it's still doing well enough. I'd like to see it push higher, but my guess is it remains a mid-tier Summer Stunner.
Almost there...
Lady GaGa made the Top Gun soundtrack for some reason, but I don't think her track is that great. She can somehow pull off American Pride Aviators as much as being a Gay Icon, though. I guess that's not a stretch for Top Gun. Justin Bieber, Post Malone, Future, Bad Bunny, Imagine Dragons, and a Dua Lipa / Megan Thee Stallion combo were all vying for a piece of the pie this month. But they ain't got it! Haha! Let's do this again in a few weeks.
We will wrap up our coverage of 2021 today, on the fifth day of 2022 with a recount of the greatest and best moments in music of the year! Now, I know that normally I do albums and everything, but I always fake it because I don't listen to enough albums. I can't even fake it this year, I'm just skipping it. I actually have a little regret about that, because it always pushes me to actually listen to new cool albums. Fine, it was probably Donda for some people and 30 for others. Let's move on.
After considering it for some time, I think my favourite song of the year is "Twerkulator" by City Girls.
Artist of the Year
There was a lot of sad girl autumn stuff from Taylor and Adele. She's been around for a long time, but this was a huge year for Doja Cat and Megan Thee Stallion. It's as if we suddenly realizing that black girls can be great rap artists and it's a huge explosion of exposure. I am all for it, clearly. Lil Nas X also had a banner year with some genuinely great tunes. I'm not sure if I could pick just one. Okay, "Industry Baby" for sure. But it's nice to see that he both refuses to be a one-hit wonder and is cranking out legit and ultra-gay music. Also Brandi Carlile kicked ass.
This isn't really a competition, though - this was the year of Olivia Rodrigo. "Driver's License," "Deja Vu", and "good 4 u" were all massive, massive hits. She joins the pantheon of women you really don't want to ever break up with. I do get such a high school vibe from her, especially with "Traitor." Like, that's just modern dating, Olivia, it really doesn't matter in high school. Oh, I know you're upset! Your feelings are valid.
Music Video of the Year
I think Lil Nas X's "Industry Baby" or "Montero" takes it. I mean, it took grinding on the devil to get any video attention and acclaim this year. It was just that kind of pulse. But somehow I keep coming back to "Thot Shit." I just really dig the metaphor here. Old white people resisting the ubiquity of Megan Thee Stallion is a rad vibe to throw a video around.
Music was fun in 2021. I'm not sure any song really caught me and changed my life, but as I said, a lot of that is just me getting more into movies and my wife instead. Here's to 2022!
Another summer is officially over, people. And so we have yet again come to the time to crown our Final Eternal Champion. This artist's name will echo across the heavens, joining the immensely illustrious crew of the greatest Summer Jam Kings and Queens of this or any other lifetime:
2007: "Umbrella" by Rihanna 2008: "Bleeding in Love" by Leona Lewis 2009: "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas 2010: "California Gurls" by Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg 2011: "Park Rock Anthem" by LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock 2012: "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen 2013: "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke ft. T.I. & Pharrell 2014: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charle XCX 2015: "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon 2016: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake 2017: "Despacito" by Daddy Yankee, Luis Fonsi ft. Justin Bieber 2018: "Never Be the Same" by Camila Cabello 2019: "Old Town Road" by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus
2020: "Blinding Lights" by the Weeknd
Now for my critical time, I still think "Blurred Lines", "Shut Up and Dance", "Can't Stop the Feeling", "Never Be the Same", and "Blinding Lights" are weak entries that haven't held up. I especially don't think "Shut Up and Dance" is synonymous with Summer 2015 like it is supposed to be. But we are not ones to pick, merely ones to report the rock solid mathematical formulas that go into creating these lists. Who is the 2021 Champion?! Read on to find out:
#8: "Build a Bitch" by Bella Poarch
Weeks on List: 5
Peak Position: #2 on 8/12 and 8/19
"Build a Bitch" never made it to the top of the countdown, but it was a little too niche of a song to make it there. It operates in an odd zone, where the melody is so sweet, but the lyrical content is honestly dark and sardonic. Its first appearance was all the way back in May, but it held on for a few weeks in June before peaking in August. Decent legs, bigger boobs, it's all there. It worked because it was a really novel and distinctive song in just about every way. A great debut for Bella Poarch, who I hope may continue to stand out amongst a sudden influx of female artists exactly like her this summer.
#7: "Butter" by BTS
Weeks on List: 5
Peak Position: #2 on 6/10
Listen, I never really liked "Butter" although I will be the first to admit that it's catchy as hell. It also held the #1 spot on the Billboard Hot 100 for most of summer, but I never heard it on the radio, Spotify, or in general conversation that much. I don't know if BTS is actually popular or people just think they're popular. Anyway, it did well in June, and then had some sporadic appearances in August. Definitely not their biggest song, but significant enough to warrant mention here!
#6: "Deja Vu" by Olivia Rodrigo
Weeks on List: 5
Peak Position: #1 on 7/08 and 7/15
Olivia Rodrigo tapped into something big this summer, and her whole album ruled Spotify for pretty much three straight months until Kanye and Drake crowded all the spots at the very end. This is one of two (spoiler alert) big hits she had, which is a rare feat for anyone. This list is competitive as hell, and there are many many artists who try and fail to get even one song into Summer Jam relevance. This is definitely the slower, chiller jam of the two, but it's still pretty fun. In that break-up sort of way. It debuted in our first week back in May, then hit three straight in July. To be honest, though, I'm still hearing it and I'd probably throw it on a September 13th list if we had one...
#5: "Astronaut in the Ocean" by Masked Wolf
Weeks on List: 6
Peak Position: #1 on 6/24
You know, I didn't realize until today that this song came out like two years ago. Good on Masked Wolf for being patient and finding his niche in Summer 2021. Last summer was so hip-hop heavy, this was really one of the only true crossover hits, and I loved jamming on this beat when it came on. It debuted in May and appeared every month, peaking in June, but hanging around all the way to the final week of summer. I also hope he finds a good career, he has a distinctive cadence, although it's not revolutionarily distinct from contemporary Migos-style artists. It's some hard-hitting stuff, though, and I hope he sticks around.
#4: "Kiss Me More" by Doja Cat ft. SZA
Weeks on List: 7
Peak Position: #1 on 7/29
"Kiss Me More" was one of those staples of summer this season. It was one of only two songs to feature in both Week 1 and Week 16. Lyrically it's decently generic, but becomes an earworm from Doja Cat's effortless flow through singing, rapping, and rap-singing. This was a great summer for her after she's been present in the last couple years, notably "Say So." Her album was another great Spotify presence, and she had her share of other songs that would crawl up and down, but this is still a song I enjoy listening to.
#3: "Peaches" by Bieber ft. Daniel Caesar, Giveon
Weeks on List: 8
Peak Position: #1 on 5/27, 6/03, 7/22
Now we're into the really heavy hitters. I thought this was for sure the Summer of Peaches early on. No one could touch Bieber during those first few months. It spent the first six weeks in an unbroken streak, including back to back wins when no other song seemed like a real threat. It hit the #1 spot more than any other track this season. Then it dropped off, though and couldn't really sustain through July. Of course, it won a week in July, and came back once in August, but although it proved to have a great showing, it wasn't enough. No one has EVER repeated as Summer Jam champion, but Bieber came really really close. It's still a fun song and one that I think will be appropriately associated with Summer 2021.
#2: "Leave the Door Open" by Bruno Mars, Anderson .Paak, Silk Sonic
Weeks on List: 11
Peak Position: #1 on 5/20 and 6/17
I struggle to get sick of this song. It didn't totally light up the charts, but I kept hearing it and it still makes me crack up as it finds that perfect zone between sexy and wacky. It was also a very strong song early out the gate, winning Week 1, and then appearing once in every other month. It was the only other song to also appear in Week 16. It "only" had a five-week streak in June and July, though, but it was in the Top 3 during eight of its eleven weeks. This was so close to claiming it all, if it had had just one or two more weeks it would have gotten it. Still, a great showing of Bruno Mars, who continues to be one of the more unique creative voices in the industry. But the undisputed #1 QUEEN OF SUMMER is...
#1: "good 4 u" by Olivia Rodrigo
Weeks on List: 13
Peak Position: #1 on 8/12 and 8/26
Yep. In the end this wasn't really a debate. This song was huge, and a bit cultural force on the Internet and in the greater real world. I was actually surprised looking back that it hit #1 crazy late in the season, and only twice. It made its butter by only taking three weeks off, Week 1, 10, and16. So basically it owned the heart of summer. We should note that "Deja Vu" was present in Week 1 and 10, so she actually only missed the final week of the season. It was in the Top Three during eight of its thirteen weeks and put together nice meaty streaks of eight and five week campaigns. It dominated Spotify for most of summer and is ultimately the kind of no brainer song that makes me proud to solidify for Eternity as THE One True Summer Jam.
Honorable Mentions:
You know I hate these but I do them anyway. We actually only tracked 39 songs this year, but we had basically cut out a lot of the riff-raff in our new system. "Levitating" deserves mention for having ridiculous legs and we had pretty much ignored it for not being a Hot Jam anymore. Same with "Girl from Rio." Lil Nas X had two pretty big songs that didn't get any radio play, insert whatever homophobia or racism you want there.
I really liked Camila Cabello's "Don't Go Yet" but it debuted too late and ran out of time. "Heat Waves" was perfect, but actually missed some of its June lyrics. Then we had a ton of great new female-led rap tracks, from "Thot Shit" to "Best Friend" to "Twerkulator" and "Whole Lotta Money." It was pretty fun that studios are actually signing and promoting these women trying to find the next Cardi B. Maybe they can just realize that there is room for all these great artists?
Alright, I know what you are thinking. Is this it? We have been cranking this out for 11 years, now, which is one more than I had planned. It is definitely taking a bit of a toll, and we're at the point where we're realizing there is no endgame. There is no exit strategy for this blog. It exists as artificial stress to complete every week. Ugh, I hate that I can't fully say no. Maybe in the way that we did it this year, without worry to hit the magic 8 number each week or talk about nothing for a while. Or maybe we just recount it in September off of feel.
I don't know if I would be able to resist the temptation to do this again next year, but these have never been popular. I like the idea of this canon of Summer Jams. Never say never, I suppose, but if so, this was a fun summer that I'd like to leave on. Better than the summer where "Blurred Lines" beat "Get Lucky."
Well folks, all fun things must come to an end, and this summer is no different. We conclude Summer 2021 with a momentous occasion. I got married this weekend! But most importantly, we boogied to some sweet salty sultry summer jams all night long. Let's go through this one last time and then we will tally up to see who will become the FINAL Summer Jam champion!
"Psycho" by Dixie ft. Rubi Rose
Our last hot drop I think will be a big one - it helps that it sounds a bit like Ava Max but it's got a fu n beat and flow to it. You can get down. Obviously it's a little bit Ms. Irrelevant blowing up in the last week of Summer, but this could be a great Fall Jam!
Heh, are you ready for this one?! We've got some new Kendrick, new Kanye, new uhh... Miranda Lambert. With but one week left we really don't have any chance of seeing any of these tracks doing any kind of real Summer Jam Damage. But in what is clearly going to be the last Summer of doing this crap, here is what we're ending with!
"family ties" by Baby Keem, Kendrick Lamar
You know, it's getting to be a long while since Damn. and it's about time Kendrick has some new tracks. This is fun and engaging, while also emblematic of his sly and darkly humourous style that's also not that humourous at all. It's a good track, maybe not as explosive as some of his earlier output, but it'll definitely do.
"Jonah" by Kanye
Haha, how does a song feel overproduced and underproduced at the same time? It's this weird blend of maximalism but also holding back. Dondai was big music news this week, I haven't quite yet listened to the whole thing. Modern Kanye isn't as bad as most people think, it's not nearly at late-2000s levels, but what can be?
"Drunk (And I Don't Wanna Go Home)" by Elle King ft. Miranda Lambert
Elle King is looking more like Rob Schneider's daughter. This is old as hell, but whatever, I heard it this week and it's so rare that I like a country song. Miranda Lambert does it, man. She's got the pipes. This is obviously in no state to be a real Summer Jam, but I like it. Who knows, it's probably been popular for months down south. It's fun as hell.
I'm not sure if I've ever heard a more forced collabo that definitely didn't alter the song at all except for throwing in additional vocals. Maybe the "Summertime Sadness" remix that had nothing to do with Lana Del Rey. It works that Megan's bars hit hard, the song isn't great to start with, and I love how it preserves the other BTS rap breakdown. Whatever, it does work in that I like the song a lot more now.
I was tracking it a bit this week. Olivia killed it again, and is hard pressed to not be SUMMER QUEEN.
Well, we got one week left, folks. We'll see how I do next week. I am in fact getting MARRIED this upcoming weekend, so this might not be high on my priorities. Oh who am I kidding, ALWAYS ROOM FOR A SUMMMMMER JAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!
That's right! It is my birthday week. Certainly cause for national celebration. Or just another fantastic day in summer! It's hot, though. It's not going to get cooler. We suck, destroyed this planet. ARE YOU READY FOR A ROUND OF JAMS?!
This song is generally too long, slow, and dramatic to be a summer jam I'm into, but it's been around long enough it deserves some recognition here. Someone's listening to it.
Yeah Ed Sheeran kind of came out of no where this week. It's been around for a while and I really don't like Ed Sheeran that much so I've been conveniently ignoring it. But it just kept flapping me in the face this week, so there you go.
We've only got two more weeks left, people! This is a shorter summer for whatever reason, maybe because last year's calendar was an unprecedentedly long 18 weeks! This has definitely been an okay summer, and we'll see if Olivia can pull it off!
I really debated "Rumors" because it's hot, but honestly hasn't broken out that much yet. And Bruno Mars is always in the equation but is "Leave the Door Open" played out yet? These are all big questions. But my decision is final! See you next week!
Mid-August! We're almost there! We've thrown in an assortment of new hot jams to jam to this week for your audial pleasure.
"Rumors" by Lizzo ft. Cardi B
It's about time these two got together! They did co-star in Hustlers (2019) after all! This is a funky beat and a great vehicle for both of their impeccable flows. I think it's deserving of the hype. Unfortunately it's dropped far, far too late to be a realistic Summer Jam contender. It hasn't totally lit up charts yet, either, but I think it could do great.
Olivia reclaimed it this week. It was unambiguous to me, I heard this track everywhere. I would surmise that it's going to win it all, I don't necessarily see it slowing down yet. We've got just a few weeks left to find out!
I know we don't ever do honorable mentions or anything, but I did hear (relatively) new Foo Fighters this week, but it came out six months ago and isn't popular. So I can't in good conscience list here as a Hot Jam, but I always like throwing out some Modern Rock (as rare as good Modern Rock is), and this is surprisingly solid for new stuff from a nearly 30-year old band.
