Summer Jam 2020 Conclusion! The End of All Things

 We've done it, people! It's been a long, long, very long, horrible summer but we got some pretty kickass fresh summer jams to jam out our freshness to! Yipayy! As September rears its head, the leaves fall, pumpkins bloom, and the coronavirus ravages schools and colleges across the country it's time to tally up the hot jams of the season!

Let us begin by recounting past Summer Royalty. We've been at this for a while, but here is the indelible list of past winners:

2007: "Umbrella" by Rihanna
2008: "Bleeding in Love" by Leona Lewis
2009: "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas
2010: "California Gurls" by Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg
2011: "Park Rock Anthem" by LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock
2012: "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen
2013: "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke ft. T.I. & Pharrell
2014: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charle XCX
2015: "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon
2016: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake
2017: "Despacito" by Daddy Yankee, Luis Fonsi ft. Justin Bieber
2018: "Never Be the Same" by Camila Cabello
2019: "Old Town Road" by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus

This is such a weird list. "Blurred Lines" is a rough stain that we'll have forever. "Shut Up and Dance" and "Can't Stop the Feeling" are notorious week entries, as is "Never Be the Same." This is all based on my own math. Maybe I should rethink my system of assigning arbitrary points to whatever random assortment of songs I heard each week. Eight points for #1, one point for #8.

NEVER!

Before we dive into our official Top Eight for the Summer, let's check out the runners up. We tracked 56 total songs this season, one less than last year. The following songs all either appeared for three weeks on the list or were ranked high enough to do some damage:

"F2020" by Avenue Beat
"The Box" by Roddy Ricch
"Roses" by Saint JHN
"RITMO" by Black Eyed Peas
"Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa
"Intentions" by Bieber ft. Quavo
"Savage" by Megan Thee Stallion ft. Beyonce
"Rain on Me" by GaGa ft. Ariana
"Supalonely" by BENEE ft. Gus Dapperton
"death bed" by Powfu

Are you READY?! Let's start with number eight:

#8: "Break My Heart" by Dua Lipa

Weeks on List: 4 (6/9 - 6/23, 7/21)

Peak Position: #1 on 6/16

Average Points Per Week: 6.25

This is a track that looking back I really thought had appeared more but only cracked our Top Eight four times. Mid-to-late June was a big time for this track, getting all the way up to #1 before falling off completely only to briefly re-surface in late July. It was a song always on the periphery, though and became the anthem for a great breakout summer for Dua Lipa. "Don't Start Now" may be her bigger track, and it tracked earlier this summer, but ultimately the timing just didn't work out. Dua dropped a few other songs but they all tended to cannibalize each other instead of pouring all Summer Jam effort into "Break My Heart." Still, I love this song, it has such a good rhythm and flow and I can listen to it over and over again. I feel like it should be higher, but it never did quite catch on much beyond radio play.

#7: "Toosie Slide" by Drake

Weeks on List: 5 (5/12-5/19, 6/23, 7/21, 9/8)

Peak Position: #1 on 6/23 and 7/21

Average Points Per Week: 5.40

Here is a track the opposite of "Break My Heart" - I thought this would not be as ubiquitous as it ended up being. It was one of only two songs that appeared on both the first and last countdown of the Season (the other one won Summer), and found a way to worm itself into four out of the five months of Summer. It flirted with the list quite a bit and gets this spot largely due to securing the number one spot both in June and July, although it was largely absent outside of those moments. Still, it's easy listening and always seemed to be knocking on the Summer Jam door. As far as Drake songs go, it's fine. He always seems to have a Summer Presence, but not that high. It earns its marks on longevity for sure.

#6: "WAP" by Cardi B ft. Megan Thee Stallion

Weeks on List: 5 (8/11 - 9/8)

Peak Position: #1 on 8/18, 9/1 - 9/8

Average Points Per Week: 6.40

Ohhh...."WAP." It doesn't quite feel like a Song of Summer since it dropped so late, but it earns a spot through its potency and if we had a few more weeks it may have made a legit run at the whole enterprise. It debuted as the Hot Jam of the Week on 8/11 and was number one a week later. It collected the #1 spot for three of the last four weeks of the season. Its 6.40 points per week average is the highest of any track we cataloged and most of that is low due to its Hot Jam status during its first week. There were only three songs that debuted as Hot Jams that tracked later and the next highest any of those got was "Roses" at #3. It's also a fantastic, life-affirming, zeitgeist defining tune that's also completely inappropriate and bonkers. In short, a perfect Cardi B song that's able to push standards and expectations of female sexuality in all the ways that 2020 needs right now. I obviously love this and the remixes have been amazing, which you've seen us post all summer here. #6 seems too low, but again, this track just ran out of time. It's also a victory lap for Megan Thee Stallion, who completely legitimized herself during a breakout summer.

#5: "Say So" by Doja Cat

Weeks on List: 7 (5/12 - 5/19, 6/9 - 6/16, 7/14 - 7/21, 8/11)

Peak Position: #1 on 5/21

Average Points Per Week: 5.14

"Say So" made its buck by a strong debut, taking the number one spot during our very first week, and then fading, but never really into total irrelevancy. At 5.14 it has the lowest point per week average of any song in the Top Eight, but survived through an improbable seven weeks, including two-week appearances in every summer month besides August, where it only appeared once, and September. We've loved Doja Cat for a while and this was also a great breakout summer for her. There's beginning to be a trend - this year, despite the chaos, was full of great breakouts for many artists. It helps that "Say So" had perfect timing, unlike a "WAP" and was able to ride that May success. It's such a funky track, with a perfect throwback loop and a showcase for the wide range of singing and rapping talents possessed by Doja Cat. I dig it, I can still listen to it, and it's a worthy entry here.

#4: "cardigan" by Taylor Swift

Weeks on List: 7 (7/28 - 9/8)

Peak Position: #1 on 8/11 and 8/25

Average Points Per Week: 5.57

I was really surprised "cardigan" rose this high, but like "WAP" it dropped at a time where we didn't really have a clear favourite and was able to dominate, remaining a constant presence for the final seven weeks of summer, including four at either the #1 or #2 spot. Its duel with "WAP" reminded me of Summer 2011 watching Adele and LMFAO go at it. I've been at this too long. Ultimately its two week head start gave it the edge, although it doesn't quite feel like a summer song in the same way that we didn't get it in the heart of summer. We have had late-breaking tracks before - "I Gotta Feeling" is the most classic example. Taylor Swift came in and dropped this as such a surprise and the whole album is spectacular despite being a significant departure from the direction she had been heading in. There always seems to be Tay Sway drama, but I think she's crazily underrated as a pure artist.

#3: "Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles

Weeks on List: 10 (5/26 - 6/2, 6/16, 6/30 - 7/14, 7/28 - 8/4, 8/18-8/25)

Peak Position: #1 on 7/14 and 8/4

Average Points Per Week: 6.20

So here we have a song that finally benefits by good timing. The Top Three this year were all ridiculously close, with five total points separating them. It's pandemonium! "Watermelon Sugar" feels like a throwback male pop song, too and I was continuously surprised that it found a place in a season where there was no other real song like it making waves. It's the only song here that is obliquely summer, though, and we've craved an Ode to Watermelon for a long time. It managed to track in all of the core summer months, from Late May with regularly consistent appearances through late August. It was only absent four times in the 14 weeks from its debut to last appearance, with no consecutive weeks absent. Its #1 spots were in the heart of summer, and seven out of its ten appearances were in the Top Three, never falling lower than fourth. It's a surprisingly strong case for Harry Styles, who really doesn't otherwise seem like an artist of the moment. Yes, that is because he's the only white male in the Top 8 and one of four total we're mentioning in this article.

#2: "Rockstar" by DaBaby ft. Roddy Ricch

Weeks on List: 12 (6/2 - 8/11, 9/8)

Peak Position: #1 on 6/30

Average Points Per Week: 5.50

Listen, I can't BELIEVE that "Rockstar" didn't win this summer. It ended up in second place by a single point, in what will surely go down as one of the closest finishes in Summer Jam History. This is such a song of our times, though, and we ought to remember it as the song that most fits Summer 2020. It wasn't until very late in the season, though, did I realize that "Rockstar" was a continual presence this summer, but hardly had any marks in the #1 position. It remained on the List for 11 consecutive weeks in the pure heart of summer, which is where it tallied most of its points. Eight of those eleven appearances were in the Top Three, and it really felt like it was a shoe-in after a while. Its had three other entries in the Bottom Three, though. Just one more and it would have been champion. We shouldn't feel bad, but I did really want it to win. It had more weeks on the list than any other song we tracked. It's also a really fantastic song with furious vocals and such a soft mandolin that just feels so 2020. I'll miss it. Add DaBaby to the list of artists with incredible breakout summers.

#1: "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd

Weeks on List: 11 (5/12, 5/26 - 6/9, 6/23 - 7/7, 7/21, 8/4, 8/25, 9/8)

Peak Position: #1 (5/26 - 6/9)

Average Points Per Week: 6.09

Here we are, folks. Your Summer King - The Weeknd! I can't believe this dude pulled it off. He crafted a song that sounds like all his other songs but also incredibly unique. An 80s synth throwback that is also very modern. I know we were cheering for "Rockstar" and "WAP" but to get real, this had the appeal to be more of an ubiquitous song that everyone could love and it just dominated. This was especially true early in the summer when there was really no obvious choice and "Blinding Lights" pounced on the Number One spot for three consecutive weeks, more than any other jam besides "WAP" (which didn't do it consecutively).

It also has the distinction alongside "Toosie Slide" of appearing in both the first and last weeks of Summer, as well as every month this summer, which is a distinction shared by no one. It was definitely front-loaded unlike "Rockstar" and "Watermelon Sugar" which were spread out perfectly, but it made enough waves to keep coming back again and again to earn spots in August, and finally again over Labour Day Weekend, which clinched it.

Its only entry outside the Top Four for a week was on 7/21, which is actually a very special week. It featured the most Top 8 Jams of any week this summer - "Say So," "Blinding Lights," "Rockstar," "Break My Heart," and "Toosie Slide," thus making it the most Summer Jam-y week of all the Summer Jams.

Next year...

It's always a weird feeling when Summer Jams end. We have a seven-month break from paying attention to popular music. I have long debated whether or not to continue this tradition. It's nice to have a regular column here and probably the only regular column we have left. After "Old Town Road" what's the point anymore though?

This year marked the 10th Anniversary of us doing this each and every week, each and every summer. And that was actually just based on math, this is technically number 11. Last year we said we'd retire after year 10. I don't know at this point. We'll see if I get the itch again. Like obsessively keeping track of all movies and TV watched, it's tough to put down once I've started. Come back to me in late April. Goodnight, folks!

Congrats to The Weeknd - Uncut Gems (2019) was just the beginning!

Summer Jam 2020 THAT'S IT!

This is it, people. Going into this summer we knew there'd be delays and this last week is no different! Yay! Here we have the final candidates of this, our LAST SUMMER JAM of all-time. This was a pretty classic weekend of the hit parade and we're excited to close out a fantastic summer. Sure.

Hot Jam of the Week: "PAC-MAN" by Gorillaz ft. Schoolboy Q

We have been underrating the Gorillaz' output this summer, dropping a new song off their forthcoming album each week. Some were better than others - this is surely on the okay side (nothing beats "Desole") but in acknowledgment of this subtle background output for Summer 2020 - the 

Gorillaz takes us home!

"Toosie Slide" by Drake

Back from the dead! I listened to this a little bit this and got nostalgic for this middling summer hit. It has a stealth beat and is kind of fun. It's still not doing any crazy damage though, especially this late in the season. But showing up on Labour Day is always the sign of some legit hits. This did okay this week, we'll take it.

"Rockstar" by DaBaby ft. Roddy Ricch

"Rockstar" had a hell of a summer, and isn't quite as shining the way it was, but I heard it this week and got excited, and that was enough. We're really not out of the BLM movement yet (by far) and this is as sure as a song of a the times as anything. It's reached sing-a-long status, and as we all join hands in merriment we can remember the hell of a summer we had.

"cardigan" by Tay Sway

Definitely still a player but not as dominant this week, "cardigan" remains a fantastic late summer hit. It is a little less prominent but at this point should have still made a significant dent amidst all the songs clambouring for a spot in the coveted Top 8 of Summer. We're excited to see where she lands when the chaos clears.

"Intentions" by Bieber ft. Quavo

This track has eternally been on and off, falling back only to strike again, and while I still honestly don't like it all that much, it felt like a bigger track this week. It's such a Summer 2020 song but also not all that memorable or distinctive. Perfect pop, really. One more week, one more attempt at staking a legit claim.

"Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd

With a late appearance that may very well push it over the edge into Summer Jam Stardom, "Blinding Lights" comes around for one more go and has officially reached "Moms know what it is" status. A powerful, powerful marker of success. This will do very well when all shakes out and its consistency is critical.

"death bed" by Powfu

We really haven't gotten sick of this one yet. It's the opposite of "Intentions" - incredibly distinctive and a persistent earworm. It's a little sweet, a little sour, and makes me think of bringing coffee to a loved one in bed. She knows who she is. It's lovely. By this point it's racked up some points, so we'll see where it lands.

"WAP" by Cardi B ft. Megan Thee Stallion

Megan was very close to getting double billing with "Savage" as well this week, which is a tremendous achievement. "WAP" has no rivals this week, it's so far ahead of anything else. Timing precludes it from really making a great claim for Summer Jam, but it could do great if we had an Autumn Jam. Nah, we would never do such a thing....

We are not. But this track is killer right now.

Next week...

We're done! Go home! Get into Autumn Jams and Fallgaritas, folks. We'll be busy the next few days having our Jam Accountants tally all the numbers and get back to you ... with .... the... SUMMER THRONE CLAIMED!!! Stay tuned!!

Summer Jam 2020 Week 17: ThE eNd! jk

 This is a bizarre feeling. We generally count Summer Jams in 17-week intervals. It's a nice, round number and it's the way this has always been done! For ten stupid years! But Summer 2020 is a different beast all together. Labour Day is late and we have 18 glorious weeks. What could this mean? Will one of these late breaking jams have the chance to usurp the presumptive favourites?! Stay tuned, loyal believers!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Out of Sight" by Run the Jewels ft. 2 Chainz

This vid had a lot of hype this week and it's a pretty solid track. I dig IV quite a bit, similar to II when I didn't think III was as great. Anyway, it's hard to tell if this was a COVID video. El-P and Killer Mike don't appear in person (sort of), but there's certainly people here. We are in a weird age. I dig this, though. I don't expect it to break into total mainstream, as no RTJ has really done that besides "Legend Has It" (RIP Chadwick).

"Smile" by Katy Perry

This song is neither good nor popular, but I feel like I heard it a lot this week, so here we are. I have enjoyed Katy Perry less over time. Like each song seems thirstier than the last. She crossed the stream into irrelevance so slowly it was surprising the day we all woke up and no longer cared about her. I dunno, this is sort of catchy. I literally also heard "California Gurls" on the radio today and thought of ghosts of Summer Jams past. Very different times!

"Midnight Sky" by Miley Cyrus

We're having a bit of a diva week this week. This was another track that I just heard a lot this week, and our stated goal is capturing the zeitgeist week to week. It feels pretty fresh and certainly very Week 17 of Summer 2020. It's not all that memorable or significant and far from her best efforts (this is all a familiar refrain) but again, it's not totally offensive to the ears. This and more ringing endorsements to come.

"F2020" by Avenue Beat

Are they a band? I dunno. I still dig this and it is assuredly the most 2020 song ever. An ode to holy crap this year sucks so much. Seriously, we have another black man shot in Kenosha, Black Panther is dead, we have no hope for anything. I do need to stop listening to this. It makes me hella more depressed.

"Rain on Me" by GaGa and Ariana

You know, "Rain on Me" keeps sneaking up this summer. I always feel like it's something that's on the fringe, but then I cave and throw it in the mix. It's outpaced songs like "Toosie Slide" and "Intentions" at this point, which I think of as being here each and every week. When all is said and done this may very well make an impact. I still don't think it's particularly good. Summer Jams always elude GaGa. Is it "I'd rather be drunk but at least I'm alive"? That is pretty 2020.

"Mood" by 24kGoldn ft. Iann Dior

I dig this track the more I listen to it. It's maybe not that big of a deal or anything but again, it's very much a Week 17 song. Shut up, I know "Rockstar" is still popular. This is fun, though, even if the beat doesn't quite match the lyrics. I can get behind it. We don't all need to be depressed all the time. I'm looking at you, "Wishing Well"!

"cardigan" by Taylor Swift

Fart Again! At this point Taylor and WAP are so far ahead of everyone else. This is the kind of classic summer battle we should have gotten weeks ago! They're so polar opposite, too. I'm very excited to see a run like this at the crown, their weeks aren't that significant but damn the potency. Honestly, this summer was really craving that singular dominant song and we finally got it spilling into Autumn. It'll be a Washington Football Team Summer for sure.

"WAP" by Megan and Cardi

Okay, I don't know which remix to put here! We did Dire Dire Docks right? This Nickelback is so clunky, it's kind of awesome. I clearly love it. "WAP" is everywhere, it's the kind of bonkers song, video, concept, and stars that elevate it beyond anything else in the zeitgeist. This is a good run at things and we'll see where it is at the end of the Summer and if it did enough to surge to the top. Do kids listen to this? Is it allowed on the radio? What do people do?

Next week...

Oh, who knows. It'll be a showdown - "Blinding Lights", "Watermelon Sugar", or "Rockstar" could all win it, while "cardigan" and "WAP" will make some significant dents if they continue their dominance. If any track gets in it'll make significant waves. I just need to be completely unbiased. Totally. We'll see if any other wacky songs show up to ruin everyone's day.

Summer Jam Week 16: Almost There

 We are heading towards an uncertain Autumn. As we weight the fate of our nation, the Post Office, and College Football, let's take a moment to reflect on the Summer of 2020. We are almost there - but the one great thing about Summer 2020 is that we have an unprecedented 18 weeks instead of the usual 17. It's truly freaking me out. So instead of the penultimate week, we're dragging this bastard out. Here we go!

Hot Jam of the Week: "The Plan (From the Motion Picture TENET)" by Travis Scott

To be clear, this isn't very good at all, and also has an awkward title. Oh, I'm quite sure we're not supposed to include "From the Motion Picture TENET" but that's totally how it's listed on YouTube and Spotify. You did this, Christopher Nolan. Maybe this would have been cool if the movie had actually come out this week. Is it still coming out? Sort of? Kind of? We have got to do better than Bad Boys For Life (2020) being the high mark of the year. I can totally get behind the irony of marketing roll-outs that have been completely upended due to COVID-19. Let's get some TENET!

"Mood" by 24kGoldn ft. Iann Dorr

I listened to this the other week and it's an okay song. It's kind of fun. Mildly popular. We've had so many spur of the moment surges of songs this week. I think we're so decentralized that we get these flare-ups from time to time of popular tracks that can't really catch on nationwide all at the same time. Folks are just listening to their own thing. It's a fantastic time to cater to everyone's tastes. A little tougher for shared zeitgeist. I like this one.

"death bed (coffee for your head)" by Powfu

This song is still a thing and while it's not quite as impactful or interesting at this point, it's still a charming track when it comes on Spotify. I never get modern radio here. It's probably still a big song. It feels very unique and calming during a summer where everything is hellish chaos all the time. I can dig it for a while to come.

"Laugh Now Cry Later" by Drake

I mean, whatever. Drake is always known for being cool, but I think this is the first time where the seams are really showing where he's trying to be cool instead of just being cool. And there's nothing less cool than trying to be cool. It's rough waters, especially because we should know that playing the cripple kid on Degrassi does make you cool. This song is popular. It's fine. It's background. It doesn't arrest my heart!

"Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd

I mean...this song is long lover, but I still heard it, it's still charting well, and I still like it. So here it is! A late gain is crucial for The Weeknd's first serious foray into Summer Jam Kingliness. He's got a decent shot because of longevity here. And it's a genuine bop, more so than a lot of other jams this summer.

"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles

Somehow we can't keep Harry Styles down. I never think this song is coming back, and then it does! I may be overjudging it - that is, it's sincerely possible that this song seems like it's omnipresent more than it actually has been this summer when you look at the whole list at the end of all things. But isn't that in itself the sign of a great jam? Does anyone read this? These are the questions that keep me up at night during thunderstorms and Double Hurricanes.

"WAP" by Cardi B ft. Megan Thee Stallion

This is still a big, notable song that has taken the country by storm. It's bizarre and kitschy and has a level of cheap 2020 CGI that I can't tell if it's an attractive stylistic choice or just cheap. It's aggressive and sexy, though, and truly the song we need right now. We'll see if this streak catapults it to the top, it's got two weeks left and the summer's been pretty starved of hits. Maybe they were timing it with College kids back in the fall, but we deserved this in mid-July!

"cardigan" by Taylor Swift

I love that these songs are dueling now. It's just spectacular. Again, this is the kind of classic summer match-up we've been waiting sixteen weeks to see! This earns the top spot this week, but that could flip a little bit before we're through. I just want all the sad right now. Like "WAP" this could do some damage late in the game in the absence of a clear summer favourite. We'll probably regret whoever we end up crowning this year.

Next week...

Katy Perry seems to keep trying to do something. None of it is very good. Dua Lipa also seems to be trying to capitalize on having a pretty good summer by dropping a lot of new music constantly. At this point no new song is really going to contend for a title, but we're always curious about late-breaking tunes. We're almost out of this, folks!

Summer Jam 2020 Week 15: We're Still Doing This!

 This summer just won't end. Usually that's a good, amazing, wonderful thing! This is hell. Hell, baby! We've got some hellishly smokin' red hot jams for your earholes today you fat fucks! It's time to kick things up a notch. We're real fresh this week. Hot salmon in the sun. Fresh and pink. We are...we are, we are really something here. Okay. Here we go:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Laugh Now Cry Later"

This is such...not that great of a song. Also just a straight up Nike commercial? Drake looks like he's gained some weight. He's starting to get DJ Khaled vibes. Maybe it's muscle. He certainly seems like he wants to be an athlete. This article summed up a lot of feelings better than I can. He's just making memes now. Corporate, safe memes. And coasting off being the top rapper for the last decade. This could be a big song. It's so mellow, though and just not really seizing a moment. Whatever, that's Drake.

"F2020" by Avenue Beat

Okay, I still like this a lot and we shared it this week, but it's definitely not a notable track at all. I really dig it and it's so of our zeitgeist it's sickening. I could listen to it forever, it's such a peak of anger, sadness, melancholy, and rage. Also all true. This year is awful. Has anyone noticed that every year is awful? We're just living in pretty awful times, people. Everything sucks. At least we have hot jams.

"Malibu" by Kim Petras

This was a close hot jam of the week. She appeared on Kimmel, not hosted by Kimmel this week, but she's a rising star this summer. This is totally innocuous forgettable pop, but I'm sure that's what some people need right now. I feel like everyone sings about Malibu. We just had that line in "Roxanne" from Arizona Zervas. I guess it can be in more than one song. Also, screw singing about a place known for beautiful elitism right now. I'm all sour. I hope Petras has a great career.

"Who's Laughing Now" by Ava Max

Listen, I know I'm an unashamed and disporportionate Ava Max fan, but she's having a good breakout summer and I dig this track. Totally undeserving of so high a position but this week is also turning into a girl power pop week so let's go with it. I am so on board with this. She's clearly splitting the summer, though, which will only hurt her songs in the long run. That's okay, she wasn't quite going to win the crown...YET!

"Wishing Well" by Juice WRLD

This track has a lost a bit of its first bite but still hits pretty hard. As we have young people unexpectedly going back to classes this week, mostly as everything falls apart and everything sucks and everyone is diseased, let's get some mental health aid! It's really quite powerful. Yeah, it's not really the pulpy bop some of the other jams are this week. It's still a good track.

"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles

Sure. Break up the girl party, Harry. This was somehow the #1 song on Billboard this week and did well on Spotify. Alright. I didn't really hear it but I also live in the middle of no where. He's had a good summer and could do well on longevity at this point. It is a good song as well. HIGH.

"cardigan" by Taylor Swift

This song is great. It's really wormed its way into my life at this point. It's not quite the giant it was last week, but still very much a presence. I had the thought this week that it's also unfortunately a huge missed opportunity that not once in this whole track did Tay Sway rhyme "cardigan" with "fart again" which is incredibly disappointing. We need a "fart again" parody. I will make that. These beans made me fart again. This stuff writes itself, it's all gold, Jerry. Gold.

"WAP" by Cardi B ft. Megan Thee Stallion

Obvi #1 this week. Like, no contest. This is a huge track and could surge for the last few weeks of summer. I think these women heard "cardigan" and then tried to make the exact opposite song. What does it say about me then that I love both these tracks? This should have dropped mid-July. Summer was up for grabs! It's nice to see that Cardi had more than Summer 2018 in her. Oh, and I just put it together this week that the title stands for "Wet Ass Pussy." Hell yeah.

Next week...

There were quite a few high profile awful songs this week. Kesha, Omarion, Billie Eilish, and Dua Lipa (ft. Missy Elliott and Madonna?!) all dropped new jams this week. Lupe Fiasco is also doing something. Cool, none of it is that great and nothing really caught my ear or our culture in a significant way. Having said that, they could all be here next week as summer descends into chaos.

Summer Jam 2020 Week 14: A Good Week

 This week's title, by the way, refers completely and utterly to the quality of music this week. We're definitely not having a good week. Or Month or Year or pretty much lifetime at this point. But there were a slew of good, refreshing jams that hit our ears this week that we'd like to take a moment to share with you. It's a wonderful time to have ears.

Hot Jam of the Week: "WAP" by Cardi B ft. Megan Thee Stallion

There were some contenders this week but when a track and a video like "WAP" comes along it clearly dominates everything. I used to listen to "There's some ho's in this house" in college - ha! Of course I did. This is an ass-filled video for sure. I don't understand some of the cameos - the beat completely drops when Kylie Jenner shows up but she doesn't really do anything. Everyone else seems to get a lot of long luxurious camera gazes, but I didn't recognize anyone except maybe Normani? That's more my problem. See, I'm an old man now. I am really curious if this is a Corona-era video. A lot of it looks clearly green-screened, but Cardi and Megan seem to be together. It wears its sexiness on one sleeve and a high degree of doofiness on the other, and makes for an altogether fun video. We'll see if it gets any radio play...

"WHATS POPPIN" by Jack Harlow ft. DaBaby, Tory Lanez, and Lil Wayne

This song isn't really great and sounds like a lot of contemporary rap that all sounds the same but is somehow incredibly popular. Perhaps that's why - we have more imitators than innovators. Or I'm just old and my ears can no longer distinguish new music. Anyway, this is popular, I saw it in quite a few places but haven't really heard it much. So here it is.

"F2020" by Avenue Beat

Finally, finally we have the perfect Summer 2020 song. Fuck this year. This is brilliant in every way and I love it. It sums up so many feelings. I've been searching for a song that really captures our current zeitgeist because it's been so stressful and horrible and we haven't quite had enough time for art to react yet. This is perfect, though. I did hear it on the radio, which is great and we'll see if this just becomes the anthem for the entire year. It's a song everyone can agree with when it drops.

"Say So" by Doja Cat

"Say So" was on my mind again this week. I heard it a few times and it's still a good song. It's perhaps out of its limelight at this point but this was at least a great summer for the rest of the world to learn who Doja Cat is. She may not have been able to enjoy it too much. This isn't really on the hot list anymore, but it snuck up on me again. I dig it.

"Intentions" by Bieber ft. Quavo

We've underrated Bieber at this point. I mean, as a widely popular artist that churns out consistent summer jams year after year. I think we still don't really like his twerpy kid-ness or his general douchery. This song is still pretty clever and it popped up again in my life this week. I heard it all the time. It's...fine. I'm not that huge of a fan and it's exceedingly safe, but whatever. It exists and at this point is as much of a contender as anyone.

"Rockstar" by DaBaby ft. Roddy Rich

This song somehow is still churning it out but may be cresting its popularity. Oh, who knows, I said that last week. I can still get behind it, especially with insanely tight remixes like the one linked above. I really hope someone out there is desperately searching for this song and has to use the above link. Why would you go to Norwegian Morning Wood ahead of YouTube? Well, dear reader, you tell me! You're here! Haha!

"death bed (coffee for your head)" by Powfu

This is the biggest earworm of the year. It just nestles in your head and never lets go. I always think of it when I bring my fiance some coffee in her bed for her head. It's cute and sweet and a little sad and very 2020. It's an elusive search! We like it. It's a song whose beat actually fits its low energy white boy half-rapping. It's very fulfilling.

"Cardigan" by Taylor Swift

That's right! We did it! Combination of freshness, sadness, rising popularity, artistic clout. It's number one, baby! I don't think this will lead us out of summer or anything, but it ought to clear a good path these last few weeks. These are the last weeks of our lives, people. I even heard "Betty" on a country station. Somehow I think Taylor is back in a big way. Good for her!

Next week...

I dug a few more new songs - Lupe Fiasco's "SHOES" although it has too much talking breaks. "Smile" by Juice WRLD did well streaming, and "Wishing Well" is still a thing. That and Dua Lipa / Weeknd, all proper 2020 artists. We're getting into the last few weeks now, folks. There are only four more weeks left. Wait...18 weeks?! Summer is supposed to be 17 weeks! Thanks to a Super Late Labour Day we get an extra week this year?! I am just learning about this. It's anybody's game now, boi!!

Summer Jam 2020 Week 13: Return to the Prairie

When this summer first started I don't think I got a post off until Tuesday and subsequently remarked that there would likely be all sorts of delays as we moved forward. I've largely avoided that! Until this week. Sorry. Here's your super-special Wednesday Edition of the Last Summer of Our Lives:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Who's Laughing Now" by Ava Max

Alright, I actually love Ava Max. This isn't quite "Sweet but Pyscho" or "Kings and Queens" or even "So Am I" but it's still a pretty fun track. She dropped her somehow debut album this past week and deserves a highlight. I'd like to see her keep on rising although I constantly feel like I'm the only fan. That's fine. Her time will come. Remember 2018 Lizzo?

"Rain on Me" by GaGa and Ari

This song has flirted with the list this whole summer and although I'm generally not a huge fan, it has gotten familiar enough that when I heard it again this week I wanted to give it a highlight. I just feel like they couldn't have seen this summer coming and this someone comes off as so not of our times. Maybe that's good for the long run. I think more that this will be forgotten forever. Maybe it earned a few weeks but certainly not the points it'll need to contend.

"Cardigan" by Taylor Swift

This hasn't quite taken off yet, but it's truly a fantastic song the more I hear it and I think it deserves its moment. It's very un-Taylor, or at least what she has been recently, but that works in her favor. We'll keep an eye on this because I think it's primed wonderfully for a late season surge, but it hasn't quite caught yet. Keep working, Taylor!

"Wishing Well" by Juice WRLD

This track drops a bit from last week, but is still a thing in my life and I reflect on the lyrics more and more each time I hear it. My soul just craves traumatic bummer songs in Summer 2020 and this does a great job of it. I just picked up the "Killing me softly; Lauryn Hill" line. It's solid. It's not quite making a race to the top at this point as we move into the endgame, but it's still solid.

"Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd

The Weeknd has come up with plenty of follow-ups since this track, but it remains the OG. It's been on and off a little bit this summer, but earns a pretty strong position this week from making it to the point of its lifetime where everyone can sing along to it and get excited when it comes on. You know...at all those parties this summer.

"Supalonely" by BENEE ft. Gus Dapperton

This is perhaps the most underrated song of the summer, but it's also generally everywhere and everyone knows it. So let it happen! So depressing yet so uplifting at the same time. I am well past my hesitancy from early on in the season. It may not be crowned Queen, but has presented a solid case for itself at this point.

"Rockstar" by DaBaby ft. Roddy Rich

The Summer King apparent, this song has gotten more radio play and it's sincerely grown on me by this point. It's so contemplative and intriguing and enveloping, it pushes its genre to a new art form. Maybe that's hyperbole, but I like it. I found myself singing it quite a bit this week and at this point it doesn't show much sign of slowing, especially because it seems like radio has finally caught up with streaming.

"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles

At this point should we be talking about "Watermelon Sugar" as a legit contender? It's got a few winning weekends under its belt at this point. It's possible, as competition is still wide open at this point. It's also blatantly summery. It's not quite 2020 summery, but it ought to earn some serious consideration right now.

Next week...

At this point this crop of songs are pretty finalized. Katy Perry had some new tracks, but they're all garbage. I was thinking about Drake, who really seems to have faded down the stretch. There is always "The Woo" or more Ava or Taylor or Dua waiting in the wings. All have some potential. We're into August now, people - these months are CRITICAL! WHO WILL BE CROWNED FINAL JAM ROYALTY!

Summer Jam 2020 Week 12: A Cool Week in the Mountains

I can feel Summer winding down already. Winter is coming, people. And guaranteed, we will go from 90 degree days straight to negative twenty. It's the way of the horrible world now. But we still have some sizzling hot jams to get through! We have a few hot new ones this week along with some old favourites. Let's get to it!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Snowchild" by The Weeknd

All these Weeknd songs seem to be following some coherent storyline, or at least have him dressed the same. I haven't really watched them. This is a lot chiller than his earlier bops this summer, and like the next hot jam this week, doesn't seem like much of a summer track. It's also another one of the growing list of 2020 animated music videos - it's nice to see folks innovating during the age of Corona. I like it, it's not quite "Blinding Lights" but it's fine.

Second Hot Jam of the Week: "cardigan" by Taylor Swift

We were all set with The Weeknd, then Tay Sway decided to drop a surprise album. It's okay. This song is more her longfull ballad style, which she's maybe weaker at than her effervescent witty pop artistry. In terms of upbeat summer jams this is lacking, but its mournful tone perhaps suits 2020 better than bippier tracks. There is a lot coming out of this album, and we'll see if she has any late surge or domination. She's capable.

"Supalonely" by BENEE ft. Gus Dapperton

The lyrics to this jam really hit me this week. It's an incredibly dark and depressing song. But it's such a bop! I enjoyed jamming out to it this week but damn, it's such a monument to relationship despair and self-assessment. It's a marvel, and truly a completely 2020 song. It's doing okay chart-wise and I'm far from sick of it so far.

"Rockstar" by DaBaby ft. Roddy Rich

Speaking of longevity - it has been a very long time since we had a week without "Rockstar." Consistency in Summer 2020 is exceedingly rare. I'd be surprised if this manages to have a successful August - there is getting to be quite a bit of competition. I almost left it off this week, but it came on some Google playlists of mine, and I reflected how it was the #1 song in the country for so long, without real widespread recognition. It'll keep trucking.

"Savage" by Megan Thee Stallion

This is another song that has been on and off, and I'm maybe giving it a lot of late credit. Megan Thee Stallion was also shot at this week, which is crazy. It's more of a Summer 2020 soundtrack jam than I've given it credit for and Beyonce certainly elevates any song she's attached to. I like the flow here more than the beat. It's probably a little out of style at this point, but we'll see if it hangs on any more.

"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles

What do we do with "Watermelon Sugar" at this point? It's maybe making a good case for itself, and doesn't really show any sign of going away, despite me predicting that a few weeks ago. It's really one of the only explicitly summer songs we've had this year, even if Summer 2020 has produced a handful of specific Summer 2020 songs. We'll see how everything eventually shakes out.

"death bed (coffee for your head)" by Powfu

I feel like I've known this song for years. This entered my purview a few weeks ago and it didn't even strike me as a new song. It's an awfully cute song with some Kanye-style vocals-as-beats. But it's so darn sweet. I think it's popular. Anyway, despite it sounding old, it's certainly fresh this week and I'd like to see it surge for a while.

"Wishing Well" by Juice WRLD

Juice WRLD has had a lot of charting songs this summer, particularly with a surging album over the last few weeks. The echoes of addiciton, depression, and refrain of "I can't breathe" resound in 2020. It doesn't even seem to explicitly be in reaction to George Floyd, but that's an inexporable link at this point. The track's been around for a time, but this week I realized that I had both listened to this a ton so far this summer and it's also hella relevant. This is a depressing week.

Next week...

I almost threw Dua Lipa on this again, but she just missed the cut. I'm curious if Taylor hangs on, although no track off folklore is traditional pop. Surely her getting back to some folk roots can be a good thing. And "exile" is tight as hell. There's a path there, but we'll see if Summer 2020 wants stripped down Taylor Swift music. Also her F-bomb on "betty." Yes, I listened to this whole album. Stay tuned, folks!

Summer Jam 2020 Week 11: Vacation from Crap

We are barreling through the chaos now. I don't even know where to begin anymore. Everything is pretty bad all the time. I guess we can just listen to some hot summer jams to get funky fresh but what's the point? What's the point of any of this! Cataloging the Summer 2020 Summer Jam List has unearthed heady bits of existential drama over here. Let's dive in!

Hot Jam of the Week: "For the Night" by Pop Smoke ft. Lil Baby, DaBaby



Pop Smoke dropped an album and got like six songs in the Billboard Hot 100 this week. None are particularly good, maybe "The Woo." Juice WRLD is lighting up Spotify, but they aren't all that great, either. So, I'm sure I'll eat my words when these become big bangers, but I'm also struck by the fact that we're so decentralized that entire albums get charted because people are just streaming and listening to whatever they feel like listening to. It's amazing and democratizing and fantastic. Hell for distilling into a weekly list, but great for pop culture consumption.

"The Bigger Picture" by Lil Baby

This song found its way on a playlist of mine this week and although it's not really charting, streaming, or getting radio play, it also feels very much like a song of our time and I enjoy it quite a bit. It's a good jam, too. We're at such a point where we don't know how to react anymore and the art that emerges from quarantine and racial struggle ought to get some more recognition. The way Lil Baby says "We've had a hell of a year" sums it up. We certainly have.

"Say So" by Doja Cat

We're doing a hardcore "Remember the Summer" edition this week, not in small part because we seemed to hear a little bit of everything over the last few days. In the life of a pop song I think we're beyond the initial freshness, beyond the initial staleness, and then into the "Oh yeah, this jam is a jam" part of jam life. "Say So" is all in that. It's still a very funky song that we enjoy.

"Blinding Lights"by The Weeknd

Surely we are forming some kind of Summer 2020 with some of the jams this week. I still don't really believe Summer 2020 will be known for its music, but these are all emblematic of the Soundtrack to Living in Our Homes. I also generally like all these songs. With a gap of anything really ubiquitous, this is the default. Funky 80s style with some fresh rivets.

"Rain on Me" by Lady GaGa ft. Ariana Grande

I heard this this week and kind of didn't hate it, even longed for it a little bit. It still seems like an underperformance considering the talent invovled but it's maybe not totally terrible. I don't know where Lady GaGa finds herself. I am an obvi stan but she seems inexorably tied to her early 2009 pop success and daring fashion statements rather than the lasting diva she should be. Maybe I'm way off base, especially for a fan. I'm saying I wanted this song to be better rather than a clubthumper that could have been done by any starlet out there.

"ROCKSTAR" by DaBaby ft. Roddy Rich

This is maybe pretty much over, but it still earns a place here. I'm not tooootally sick of it, just getting there. It's still doing well chart-wise and at this point, has done well to cement itself as a strong contender. At least at this point I don't feel like any other song really sums up 2020. At the same time, it feels so small, right? No one is singing "Rockstar" in the streets. We'll see how we keep progressing.

"Break My Heart" by Dua Lipa

After a few weeks off, Dua Lipa is back with a song we heard a ton a while ago but not much since. I dig this track a lot, it might be my favorite Dua Lipa to be honest. She has splintered her jams this summer, though, and I worry that she won't contend for the crown since no one song has been dominant. This apparently still has some life in it, though. Could be something.

"Toosie Slide" by Drake

Drake is just the default of like, the decade. I don't think he's especially great - he's definitely good, but should he dominate the way he does? Not really. Like Dua Lipa, after a few weeks in the shadows, this track came back in a big way this week, and I found myself humming it quite a bit. It's fine. It's a fine song.

Next week...

I'm not sure "Toosie Slide" should be #1. But this is where we're at. I'm curious about the track Kanye dropped as he dropped out of the Presidential race. Perhaps he realized it's actually a hard job that requires geopolitical knowledge? Or not, who cares. Any of those Juice WRLD or Pop Smoke tracks might catch on. But the same as Dua Lipa's multiple hits, when you have five or six contenders, it's hard for any one song to stand out and become THE notable song. Keep truckin!

Summer Jam 2020 Week 10: Mid-July Blues

We are in the thick of it now, folks. It's the true heart of summer. All the May and June getting reacquainted with the sun nonsense is behind us and we're finally past the all the major High Holidays of Cinco de Mayo, the End of School, and the Fourth of Julio. Now it's just pure summer. Beaches and waterparks ahoy! Well, let's pretend a magnificent disease is not currently ravaging the planet.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Hallucinate" by Dua Lipa



We have two hot jams this week. Who cares, it's summer, it's hot out. Also this first one isn't very good. I struggle with Dua Lipa. Sometimes her tracks are straight bangers, others like this just sound very forgettable and replaceable. I do love this big wave of animated music videos folks are having to do in quarantine. Or maybe this was a real artistic choice. It's not totally compelling.

"The Adventures of Moon Man and Slim Shady" by Kid Cudi and Eminem

Our second hotness - I dig the title and that's maybe about it. The track takes too long to drop which turns me off instantly. The beat also just feels all over the place. So is Eminem lately, who after so much great output exploring him finding his identity, seems to be struggling with the kind of rapper he wants to be right now. Cudi is reliably solid, though. I got into it by the middle of his verse. In terms of jam-ness, this is probably not too big of a dent.

"Mamacita" by the Black Eyed Peas ft. Ozuna, J. Real Soul

This is kind of a cool song but damn I've never wanted to punch a series of artists in the face like watching this video. Are they cool? They're not cool, right? Everyone is just trying so hard. I always thought of The Black Eyed Peas as reigning pop royalty just because their 2005-2010 was so solid and ubiquitous, but I suppose that is getting to be like ten years ago. Maybe they suck and everyone hates them? Have folks largely forgotten their jams? I don't know, but I kind of like their cross genre 2020 work that has a different flavor.

"Say So" by Doja Cat

This track crept is way back into my ears this week and I suppose it had never really fallen too far off this list. Doja Cat is certainly having a hell of a summer, even if her latest track isn't that great. This song really found a way to emphasize everything she does well in the best way, though. It's the kind of name-making track that could last a while.

"The Box" by Roddy Rich

I was actually trying to think of "Rockstar" and I came up with this one. Whenever a song enters long-term brain function I'm like, "Okay, this can get that TOP status." "The Box" got there this week. It's still a factor on the charts and whatnot, but we've definitely left in the dust for a while now. It's still an earworm. Dig it.

"Rockstar" by DaBaby ft. Roddy Rich

This is still a presence although it may be cresting for my own ears. It's still very good and that little mandolin complements the heavy bass pretty well. It's fun and a song of our time unlike any other major song that's penetrated the charts much so far this summer. At this point the race is still wide open, enough that a late-breaking July or August track could even come in and do its thing. In all reality, Summer 2020 is not going to be remembered for its music, it'll be remembered for everything else going on.

"Savage" by Megan Thee Stallion

I'm not a huuuuge fan of this track, but I heard it a ton this week and it's never really plummeted off the charts, so, good enough. I like the thick ferocity Megan brings to the rap table but I need a more engaging beat or a better use of her talents for her to crossover like Doja Cat to me (see everything said above). This is okay, I guess.

"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles

Yep, all the way to #1! What a bizarre series of events. I compiled all the contenders this week and thought, yeah, I actually both heard and talked about "Watermelon Sugar" the most. It is truly bizarre - we are in a thorough age of hip-hop so deep that it's genuinely weird for a British White Boy Crooner to gain the top spot right now. It's just so unlike any other song on this list. Summer 2020 has a weird playlist. But I like this.

Next week...

There are a lot of contenders out there. We ignored The Weeknd, but he's not quite done yet. I also personally listed to so much Ava Max, but I don't think that brief spat of Quarantine Songs are really much of a thing anymore. Stay tuned, you really never know this summer. And GaGa / Ari! I think there's something there still. Stay healthy, loyal readers!

Summer Jam 2020 Week 9: NATION GO BOOM!

What a Fourth of July weekend! Over eighty years ago our founding fathers brought forth this nation devised from the concept that liberty should be extended to all land-owning white males, and boy do we show it today. This is an instrumental part of the Road to Becoming a Summer Jam Champion. No song has ever won without carrying this weekend. That's not actually true at all, but now that we're hyped, let's dive in:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Wash Us In the Blood" by Kanye West ft. Travis Scott

Hahahaha, alright. We had to honor President Kanye this week. I mean, Kanye is fine, I really don't get up in his mental health issues, which he can usually be pretty coherent about through his music. He's also clearly a music and lyrical genius, even if his greatest flaw is probably that he knows it. This song isn't very good, but I like that it's more Yeezus than Ye. He's always just been a fearless contrarian who takes really radical positions all the time. Folks tend to forget that his entire first album's thesis was how great it was to drop out of college and how all degrees are useless. He's really not all that different in 2020. Anyway, I could talk about this forever - I think his Presidential Campaign is a publicity stunt, since he's not actually registered anywhere, or maybe he just sort of thinks he can do it? It just makes me think of declaring bankruptcy. Like, no, there are a few other steps in there.

"The Woo" by Pop Smoke ft 50 Cent and Roddy Rich

Pop Smoke had a big album this week with Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon and most of the songs aren't that good, including this one, but when 50 comes on maaaan I went back to like 2004. He's got some bars left in him yet. It also got a music video and I dunno, probably should have been our hot jam. What?! Kanye beats out 50?! What is this, 2007?

"Intentions" by Bieber ft. Quavo

This is not a huge song right now but has definitely found its way into a lot of ears this summer. On and off this list for sure and I actually dig the wordplay quite a bit here. It's not totally contemporary Bieber beat-wise, which probably makes it a bit more palatable. It's kind of a fun sleak sexy track that I admit I enjoy more than it deserves. It could be gone next week or hang around. That kind of summer song. We've seen our share by this point!

"Savage" by Megan Thee Stallion ft. Beyonce

This track has been on the periphery for some time now, kind of always just on the outside looking in. I don't think it's really a top tier track, but it had some pretty strong performances this week by every metric we look at. It just really doesn't feel like the #2 song in the country, right? It's very stripped down and Megan is fierce af while Beyonce's vocal gymnastics are typically out of this world. I suppose it's all in service to itself, which makes good art, but it hasn't quite hooked my brain this summer.

"Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd

I was kind of done with this to be honest, but it's had a strong presence on radio, Billboard, and Spotify. Yeah, that's pretty much everything. The Weeknd had a good early lead but I'm not sure this track IS Summer 2020. That's also because Summer 2020 is generally devoid of any fun or good news at all. It's weird. Can we all admit this a funked summer? The song is still good.

"Rockstar" by DaBaby ft. Roddy Rich

This song is still crushing everything, but we knocked it back down to earth a bit this week. I still thin the remix is a little stronger than the original and captures so much current anger. I'm realizing more and more how good this song actually is. I'm not sure it will find its way on wedding playlists, but it's fun.

"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles

Yeah, this was up there this week. I don't think it's actually all that popular, but it's so summery. I also ate a pretty strong quantity of watermelon this week and kept thinking about this track. This track keeps coming back this summer and maybe it's not as done as I think it is. It's actually starting to crush spotify. That's all good, it definitely grows on me.

"Supalonely" by BENEE ft. Gus Dapperton

Yeah, this track actually stuck out the most to me this week. It's kind of a weird pick but I feel like it was in the car every time I hopped in it and it just earwormed its way into my brain all week. The whole point of this list is truly capturing a week by week zeitgeist of pop music, and this was "Supalonely"'s week for sure. Wasn't even close. There you go! America! It's also a hella bop.

Next week...

We had some weird picks this week along with what has become some of our staples. We left out Doja Cat and Dua Lipa, who might still make a comeback. We'll see. Summer is going by very fast. On one hand I can't wait to get out of this terrible summer, but also...it's SUMMER! We love this season! It's just too hot. Damn hot. Damn this hot! Come back next week!

Summer Jam 2020 Week 8: Is this Really It?!

It's a seminal moment in every summer - the party's are amping up, June is rounding the corner and we're about to dive crotch-first into the Independence Day Week. This is one of the most important moments in our Summer and also our lives. We're about to crest the half-way point of this long, arduous Summer that shows no sign of ending. It's time for another wave of jams, though. Let's dive in!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Soulmate" by Lizzo



There were a lot of new jams this week, but the most notable is probably Lizzo, who teamed up with an animated Queer Eye team for a nice positive self-image video for us this summer. This isn't really that catchy or innovative of a Lizzo track and the Queer Eye inclusion isn't all that strong but it's fun. I don't think this hits the heights of Lizzo Summer 2019 but it could be fun for a bit.

"Roses" by SAINT jhN

This track pops up again, but just barely on our radar. It's still a fun, throbbing track that's actually been hovering quite a bit on the periphery of ubiquity this week. I like it, it's fine and actually still doing well enough to find a spot here. I heard it a bit this week. It's good. I really don't have much else to say at this point. Another first! Oh, Summer 2020.

"Rain on Me" by GaGa and Ariana

After a few weeks off, this blasts back on the Winner's List. Okay, I will admit this is starting to grow on me. The beginning has an "Edge of Glory" feel which is always spectacular and the collabo is tight. I'd like something more than the cookie cutter 80s pop revival beat, but it's fine for now. It's doing okay chart-wise and could actually hang around for a bit.

"Whats Poppin" by Jack Harlow ft. everyone

The beat is a little sparse for me and it seems like a cash grab collabo, but it actually feels very modern to me, which gets it points here. More importantly, it's burning up Spotify and seems to fit a lot of needs, which could mean it gains some traction as a notable summer jam. I could never listen to this again and be pretty happy, but it's always possible it gains speed. It probably will. I've never felt older, which is a good sign.

"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles

This track has definitely been on and off the charts, and to be honest, it doesn't totally fit he prototype of what's popular right now. It feels way more like a 2013-kind of white boy crossover R&M. Having said all that it's more amazing that it's still doing well. It's a great summer song, after all. I could go for some watermelon.

"Party Girl" by StaySolidRocky

Alright, this track has been here and there for a while now, and I still think it pretty much sucks, but it's been a pretty empty week. We're definitely leaning more streaming than radio this week. It should be no real surprise that these tracks aren't that Top 40 friendly. It's almost as if most of the country is blindingly racist. Weird. Weird thoughts. The flow is a little slow and slurry here for my taste, but it's good enough to acknowledge as a something this summer.

"Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd

I don't even know how this got the #2 position. I was just kind of looking through everything and this feel on my lap. I heard it maybe once, but it's got a good combo of radio, streaming, Billboard, and me liking it right now. It's very solidified right now as an early contender, but still has a half of summer to get through. That hasn't always been kind to these early leaders. We'll see!

"Rockstar" by DaBaby ft. Roddy Rich

After a lot of weeks being the presumptive number one in an otherwise vaccuum, "Rockstar" killed it this week. I was tempted to throw the remix down as the Hot Jam and possibly also throw it here as the #1 again. It's not too weird for a track to be on this list twice in one week, right? Dropping a new video this week seals it and it's doing fantastic by all our metrics, including liking it at this point. The BLM remix also feels of the moment in a time where not many other tracks are finding the voice to respond, despite a national community yearning for this kind of thoughtful catharsis.

Next week...

There were a handful of big releases this week that are pretty bad and will probably never see much action this summer. Katy Perry tried her hand at Gay Anthem "Daisies" which is so derivative that at one point "Swish Swish" literally starts playing instead. I just don't think the gay community needs Katy Perry as their spokesperson. Also, this is totally a quarantine video, but not very well done. Doja Cat dropped "Like That" which seems really manufactured and not nearly the earworm of "Say So." Then there's the usual culprits. Also, for some reason, this is the #1 song in the country. It's not very good.

2020 Summer Jam Week 6: Mid-June Blues

We've gotten to a point where we're existing in an unending continuum, people! This was a fun week, though. Some parts of the country are starting to re-open. And we solved racism, so that's good! The virus really isn't slowing down, though, and we're all going to pay for our hubris one way or another. In the meantime, let's kick back with some sultry slavic summer jams!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Forgive Me" by Chloe X Halle



This was a big track that dropped this week and has such a punishing, throbbing beat. It's sick as hell. The vocals are kind of typical Pop / R&B but they fit well. It doesn't seem like it has a ton of traction right now but it's set up to do well if it catches on. I want to see more 90s style girl groups getting hits this summer.

"Sadder badder cooler" by Tove Lo

This dropped a few weeks ago and I meant to ramble about it. It's a female revenge fantasy by way of Tiny Toons and it doesn't quite work, but I actually dig the song. There is a lot of wacky brutal Disney evisceration going on and I'm not entirely sure if it's condoning or satirizing the violence. Again, the synths and lonely Tove Lo vocals elevate the jam.

"Rockstar" by DaBaby ft. Roddy Rich

I really didn't hear this track that much this week, but that might be more a product of me riding around and listening to radio in the middle of the country. #1 on Billboard and Spotify this week, though. It's an enchanting track and clearly doing pretty well. It's already a contender, but doesn't feel as significant as a runaway hit yet. We'll see what happens with it.

"Intentions" by Justin Bieber ft. Quavo

This has been around for a while but I just heard it quite a bit this week. It's been in the background and I generally like it, even if the wordplay is crazy basic and borderline awkward. It slides into that EDM beat that Bieber has found as a comforting home and while nothing stands out as a monumental pop achievement, it's good enough for us. Our lives. Oh what an existence!

"Say So" by Doja Cat

She's hanging around! I thought this might be fading, but she was still pretty strong this week. It's a sexy track and I've found that I'm far from sick of it. It's racking up some consistent points at this point and may be forming a nice early lead, especially with The Weeknd falling off this week. We'll see, it doesn't quite feel like a song that can dominate the season, but it's still a fun jam.

"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles

Harry Styles gets back on the countdown! I didn't really like this song, but it came on this weekend and I found myself jamming out. Has it just broken down my defenses? It's actually a fantastic summer themed jam, and those usually work. Everything about it is pretty bonkers and it doesn't come across as a bop at first, but it does get under your skin. We'll see how it progresses.

"Sunday Best" by Surfaces

Okay, I didn't put this on a few weeks ago because it's so old, but it's crawling up the charts and getting a lot of airplay. Time to throw down! But it's so fun and positive. I had never seen the video before, these guys are douchebags, right? They seem like douchebags. But the song is good. That's what matters in this world. It's an earworm and doesn't really have a shot at the Crown, but it's good this week.

"Break My Heart" by Dua Lipa

Out of no where! This was the biggest song in my life this week, it totally found its way in my brain and I kept singing it to myself every day. It's doing okay chart-wise, but no one seems to like Dua Lipa. That might be because she's not all that great as a personality-fueled pop diva. The flow is so fun here, though. It's obviously a stab in the dark at Summer Queen relevance at this point, but who knows this summer.

Next week...

We've ignored "Toosie Slide" for a while now. I almost feel like this will continue and what once felt like a contender will count up to have nothing. "Stuck with You" by Ariana / Bieber was rattling around my brain and for the first time of course, we have no Weeknd this week. That's why it's the Week, baby! All these stars could shine again. Summer is just getting started!

2020 Summer Jam Week 5: Not Much Better Edition

Well folks, I'm pleased to say that across this great nation of ours we have cured COVID-19, solved systemic racism, and brought 40 million people back to work. Now that all of our problems have gone away we can get back to what really matters - counting down those sleek, sexy summer jams!

Hold on a second, I'm just hearing terrible news...we apparently haven't done anything and the world is burning to the ground! Oh well, that was a fun couple of seconds. What can we do to beat the Summer Heat? The Bummertime Badness? Summer jams, of course:

Hot Jam of the Week: "No Glory in the West" by Orville Peck



This is like a modern Johnny Cash and it's pretty spectacular. There's a sincere Western mourning in his voice and while it's rare that this column highlights Country tracks, this elevates above a lot of the drawl while staying authentic. Apparently this bro is gay, too, which is great. We haven't mined the gay cowboy well since Heath and Jake, but this track works really well. We'll see if it catches on.

"a few words for the firing squad" by Run the Jewels

RTJ dropped what seems like Run the Jewel 4 this week and it's all pretty good. I actually didn't enjoy 3 that much but 2 is one of my all-time favorites. There is a lot to like here and "Ooh La La" may be the best positioned single, while "never look back" might b my favorite. Anyway, in the age of police nonsense, this felt the best to highlight.

"RITMO" by Black Eyed Peas ft. J Balvin

I probably shouldn't be mentioning this any more. It's efinitely not popular and exists as the last bastion of a radio gasping for relevancy. But I heard it a bunch this week and still atually like it! It's a total non-starter anywhere else. But hot summer jam baby! Nah, it's probably just taking up valuable points from The Weeknd.

"Break My Heart" by Dua Lipa

"Don't Start Now" is still very much a thing, but this is gaining some traction as a proper summer jam. The flow is addictive as hell, even if Dua's beats seem like the most typical EDM ever. Whatever, that's pretty much pop in 2020. It's still catchy and has that nice fed up girl feel from "New Rules." It works.

"Say So" by Doja Cat

This is just past its crest, but I caught it again this week and was reminded that it's a pretty fun, varied, wonderful track that has some life in it yet. I love 2020's commitment to funk. There might be a little too much competition for this to push back into relevancy, but it's still a tasty jam and a nice success for Doja Cat, finally!

"Roses" by SAINt JHN

This is another track that has came and went but I heard it on the radio this week and it's just a banger. I dig it a lot. I have no idea what any of the lyrics are but it's a hot jam. Some might even say it's the hero we need right now. Nah, it's probably dead. This whole list is as dead as the moral compass of our nation! Hey oh! Gettin' political up in here.

"ROCKSTAR" by DaBaby ft. Roddy Rich

This somehow fits our era, and with another strong performance on Spotify, it almost gets the top spot this week. It's sorrowful in its own way but also feels very modern and energetic. I'm not convinced DaBaby is the next great rap star, but he's having a moment right now for sure and this song is strangely soothing to me right now.

"Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd

Is it me or do we need another great meme song? I just yearn for "Old Town Road." That should come back. But this is still a bop and with no real competition unseating it, earns another nod this week. Doja Cat has the 70s but The Weeknd has the 80s, baby! It's got good vibes. I think society is too fragmented right now for it to be unchallengingly ubiquitous, but it might be as close as we get. Is "Blinding Lights" the anthem of Black Lives Matter? That doesn't really track, we might be still searching this summer.

Next week...

I narrowly left off Drake again, but I think "Toosie Slide" could still be something. I hardly heard any GaGa / Ariana but they could certainly come back as well. I almost felt like some Bieber as well. There is quite a bit of summer left and none of these tracks feels like dominant jams yet. STAY TUNED, LOYAL READERS! Stay tuned.

2020 Summer Jam Week 4: World in Chaos Edition

Hey Folks - is your city burning to the ground right now? Well, it's time to melt those summertime blues with some tasty choice summer jams! In all seriousness the country feels like it's in shambles. We are fully boiled over and sick of unemployment, quarantine, and a virus that we can't fight, so we fight each other. The unfortunate truth is that when we live in a country founded under false pretenses and genocide, we deal with a long scar that isn't easy to wash away. It's going to need a lot of empathy, effort, and will from all of us to make this world better. Now, let's get spicy with some summer jams!

HOT JAM OF THE WEEK: "Together" by Sia



I just wanted to comment that somewhere down the line Maddie Ziegler got jacked and it's disturbing as hell. I'm also cynical enough to read her perma-smile as disingenuous, but that's more a me problem. The track is catchy, I have no idea what movie it's from, but Sia needs to try really hard to make a bad song and this is pretty decent.

"Roses" by SAINt JHN (Imanbek Remix)

I had this jam on the list a few weeks ago and it's still sort of popular but I was thumping to it last week. It's nice to remember it exists. Lyrics are obviously undecipherable, but who cares, that's far from the point of a track like this. I don't know how much life it has left, I think its time is clearly passed, but it's fun to remember again.

"ROCKSTAR" by DaBaby  ft. Roddy Ricch

Despite being clearly inferior to Nickelback's "Rock Star", the current #1 track on Spotify is actually a pretty cool song. It's got a nice mandolin running through it with a solid bass line. This could be a big track, it's simultaneously energetic and chill. I really haven't gotten on the DaBaby or Roddy Rich train, to be honest, a lot of modern hip-hop blurs together in my brain and it feels like the modern industry churns through artists like tissue paper. This is cool, though and I think could rise this summer.

"My Oh My" by Camila Cabello ft. DaBaby

This is well past its prime, but I actually just love it, and I heard it again this week and made a huge mental note to include it here. It's so sweeping and grandiose and distinctive. Just an all-around fun song that I could listen to over and over. It's sexy, too. As I said, I think its mostly done in terms of jamming this summer, but should still be a background thing.

"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles

This is creeping up this week and could become a thing. Great summer song, watermelon, that's definitely a thing. Harry Styles is doing well right now, and although "Adore You" might be the better Billboard track right now, "Watermelon Sugar" is the hot jam. It's okay. It's not really a throbber jam. That probably depends on your sexual attraction to Harry. I feel like this song doesn't know what it wants to be. But it's hot, so here we are.

"The Box" by Roddy Ricch

Another Roddy Rich this week - I have definitely heard this jam quite a bit and it's doing well enough on Spotify to warrant a pretty significant spot here. I am typically late to the party. This is a great party jam, though so call me fashionable! There's nothing crazy notable here lyrically or even really beat-wise. It's just all flow and alternating rapping and singing and the, uh, bedsprings? It comes together and works.

"Rain On Me" by Lady GaGa ft. Ariana Grande

I totally trashed this last week, and even though I'm a huge GaGa fan, I thought this track was garbage. It's managed to earn some popularity, though, and may have been the buzziest song of the week. The Ariana collabo is obvi a huge get and it satisfies plenty of pop requirements, generic beat, fluffy vocals, great timing for Summer domination. It's always alluded GaGa, for like ten years now. Could this be a thing?

"Blinding Lights" by the Weeknd

The Weeknd dominates again and offers the tastiest jam of the week. There seems like too strong competition to keep this up, but for now it's the best headbanger we got. It hasn't quite gotten old yet, which is a great sign. It may stick around not quite at the top of the heap, but this synth ballad isn't going anywhere soon.

Next Week...

We left off Dua Lipa and Drake this week for the first time, but there are still strong contenders that aren't quite six feet under yet. We also abandoned most of our quarantine songs. We are kind of opening up now...but this is far from over. It's weird to even listen to bops right now. It just feels like everything is falling apart. Stay strong, stay safe, and treat each other well, America.

2020 Summer Jam Week 3: Special Quarantine Edition!

Well, what's going on, now? We're still pretty quarantined, but loosening up restrictions a little bit. It's Memorial Day and time for beaches and pools to open up. It seems like we are doing so although there's no real indication that the virus is slowing down or anything or that it wouldn't come back immediately if like...we go back to what was causing it to spread. Never mind that shit, we got some hot salsa jams to get through!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Kings & QuaranQueens" by Ava Max



So this is really just "Kings & Queens" but it's a pretty good energetic pop track and I love a video that acknowledges the zeitgeist in a positive way. Ava Max is maybe underrated and this is a fun home video. We can do quite a bit at home, it's not a big deal. I'm into it. I hope this electric jam catches on and we have some fun this summer.

"Claws" by Charli XCX

Watching this just reminds me a lot of current Millennial tastes. It's purposefully kitschy, random and nihilist, since everything else in the world they've grown up in has been a chaotic disaster. It's actually pretty fun, with this grinding techno beat, chewing auto-tune and actually a nice positive drive. It's not popular or anything, but a nice diversion this week.

"Stuck with U" by Bieber and Ariana

We want to lean hardcore into quarantine this weekend and here's the capper song for everyone. It's not very good or memorable despite featuring two of the leading voices in pop music. But it's totally modern and has a nice ballad feel to it. I'm curious how much this stuff will last over the next few years. It's okay I guess.

"Supalonely" by Benee ft. Gus Dapperton

This also reeks of Millennial tastes, which is all fine. The song isn't all that memorable, but we can add being trapped at home making weird music to our list of generational standards. This song just broke and has been gaining some traction. The beat doesn't totally sync up with the lyrics or flow and could underline just about any song. Still, its nice.

"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles

This song isn't that great, but it features a lot of Watermelon munching. How can you have a better summer jam than that?! Despite never listening to One Direction I tend to like Harry Styles, which might actually be related. This doesn't really do it for me, though. I wonder if my ears are starting to cave and all pop songs have become trite and interchangeable to me. No. It's the children who are wrong.

"Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa

Dua has an early Summer Lead, but I'm thinking it might be cresting. Well, it should have crested quite a while ago, but I still dig it a lot. The big Disco ballad still gets me, though and as far as I'm concerned, this is her masterpiece. It still got plenty of references this week and is credible. Sort of. It may fade fast from here on out, but I also still enjoy it a lot so probably not.

"RITMO" by Black Eyed Peas ft. J. Balvin

"RITMO" feels very old but it's not, giving it a specific weird space to thrive in. It probably succeeds by re-purposing "Rhythm of the Night" by visionary generational voice will.i.am. Also apl.de.ap. Man the Black Eyed Peas blow. I'm giving it a lot of stock this week. It comes on and it's like, "oh, this song I haven't heard much, what is that all about!" but it's all a tired fallacy. Quarantine pop regurgitation! This song is terrible. I'm addicted.

"Blinding Lights" by the Weeknd

I was really struck this week but how good this track actually is. By the weekend, the Weeknd had me hooked. "In Your Eyes" is good, too and we highlighted that last week, but if he's going to have a run at this, he needs to consolidate his tracks. I'm not sure this fills summer ubiquity standards that will carry for the peak months of June and July, but this is in a good spot right now. I love the 80s throwback with a decidedly modern style. It's just fun as hell.

Next week...

I left a lot off this list. "Say So" is still a thing, as is the new Lady GaGa / Ariana Grande jam, but to be honest, I thought that track really sucked. That's a big collabo, though and we likely won't have heard the last of it. We put "Watermelon Sugar" on this list, but "Adore You" is still a thing as well. And Toosie Slide! Sorry, Drake.

2020 Summer Jam Week 2: FOR THE MONEY!

Ahhh mid-May. A time where Summer's wave is just cresting, kids are graduating, the sun is squinting its eyes after a long sleep and the jams and movies are just heating up! Except this year. This year everything sucks! Hooray! We're kind of at a loss about jams right now. These are probably popular? What is going on? Who knows. We're all doomed. Let's listen to these slaps!

Hot Jam of the Week: Ludacris ft. Chance the Rapper



I don't think this song even has a name, or maybe it does but who knows right now. Ludacris dropped all these songs during an online instagram song that was supposed to feature Nelly, except he doesn't understand how to work a computer. Far from Tez, here. These songs may actually drop one day, but it's fitting to showcase a song that Luda apparently just had sitting around and felt like sharing during quarantine. It's an average song with an okay beat. Luda dropped a ton of unreleased songs on this show, none are very good, but I like the format of artists in quarantine just doing whatever they want.

"Toosie Slide" by Drake

This song is just kind of there, again. It's existing pretty hardcore right now. Like, it's fine, it'll get the job done, not a hot slide into the list, but not dominating anything. Great background music. In many ways, all music is background music. I put virtually no thought in adding it to this list, nor could I really recall the beat that well. Do I dislike Drake? I might.

"Adore You" by Harry Styles

I think I actually do like Harry Styles, though. This has been around for a while. For someone who spends nearly four months of the year writing a weekly pop music column I surprisingly don't pay attention to pop music. This has been around and I think I've kind of dug it without ever tuning into the specific modalities. Harry's good. He was in Dunkirk (2017). I didn't know he was so I just thought he was a good actor. This is a good track.

"In Your Eyes" by The Weeknd

Has anyone noticed The Weeknd cranking out tried and true bops recently? I guess he's just a really good artist. "Blinding Lights" is a little bit more popular right now but "In Your Eyes" is a lot hotter. He's got these funky synth rhythms that consolidate so many musical styles in one. I think it's actually generally accepted that The Weeknd is good and I'm maybe not saying anything new. I might as well be in 2012 with Kevin Garnett and Howard Ratner. I dig it.

"Level of Concern" by Twenty One Pilots

It's been a minute since we heard a crappy twenty one pilots song and this does a nice job of filling that out. I'm not sure it it was written pre-quarantine or what, but it's a nice nod for where we're at right now. It's actually a fantastically apt quarantine song. I'm curious how much more we're going to get by the time this crap is all over.

"RITMO" by Black Eyed Peas, J Balvin

The Black Eyed Peas made a bold choice by moving on without Fergie, but maybe no one cares? Or are they actually...better? The song has been rattling around in my head for a while now and I heard it a bunch this week, even though it's pretty old. Time no longer matters. This song is attached to Bad Boys 4 Life (2020) which could emerge as the #1 movie of 2020. Just think about that a little bit.

"Say So" by Doja Cat

I don't think this has actually been on the radio all that much, but it's still getting traction. What does it mean to be the #1 song in the country during quarantine? Is Doja Cat just the next Cardi B? Why can we have thousands of white boy crooners but only one black female rapper at a time and they are all instantly rivals? I love Doja Cat. This is a great song, it's accessible, interesting, and varied enough, floating from these ethereal vocals and then slamming down these harsher rap bars. It's all good.

"Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa

Bounce to cool off that hot lava water! This has been stuck in my head for weeks. It gets the #1 spot in my brain this week. I resisted last week because it's so damn old, but I actually still like it a lot. I love how it descends into this funked out 70s beat and her grunts get all kinds of bonkers. It's great and Dua deserves a brighter spotlight.

Next week...

I left out "My Oh My" but instantly regret it. I have also been sort of kind of getting into "Supalonely" which feels like a weird Millennial video without much interesting merit, but it's surging in some popularity. Other than that, plenty of ancient songs to go around. I was thinking about GaGa's love song, but that never really took off, did it? Stay tuned, intrepid pop adventurers!