2020 Summer Jam Week 1! LOCKED IN A BOX

Well, folks, it's that time of year again. It's the most glorious time of any year - it's Norwegian Morning Wood's SUMMER JAM COUNTDOWN! Each and every week we'll break down the hottest, spiciest, sauciest, sexiest jams to hit our earballs until one track is finally named the winner and champion of all 2020.

And how is Summer 2020 going so far? How about freaking terrible. We are still in quarantine lockdown due to Corona, everything is awful, and we're not getting nearly the kind of hot party jam exposure we need to. It's also a polar vortex and there's no superhero movies to watch. What kind of summer is this?!

Without further griping though, the Jams must go on. We will countdown eight hot tracks each and every week from now until Labour Day. And we're already off course because I forgot to write this yesterday. I absolutely 100% guarantee that the rest of the summer will go smooth. Corona is dead! Long live Sol!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Roses" by SAINt JHN (Imanbek Remix)



You know I sure as hell ain't spelling out the grammatical nightmoare of SAINt JHN every week. But this track dropped four years ago and didn't make many waves until this remix. See, all you need is some EDM fused sick beats and you got a banger on your hands. It's a bop for sure and maybe a little old and obscure, but those songs take some time to crawl up the charts. We'll see if it progresses. I hope not, just for the band's name.

"Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa

Old but potent! I think my grandparents boogied to this back in their day. But it's still fresh somehow, maybe because we're not listening to music like we used to. Or just I'm not since I have no TV and no radio and don't really sit around listening to music alone. Dua Lipa has been around for a while now and has never quite seemed to reach diva level. Maybe it's her greater comfort with EDM beats like this instead of traditional pop ballads. This has hopefully elevated her and I love the "Don't stop caring-UHbout me now" and the Clapper.

"The Scotts" by Travis Scott, Kid Cudi

This is a few weeks old now, but time no longer has meaning in quarantine. Travis Scott is good but always in that unplaceable generic hip hop way. The beat is hot here, though, it's got a little twisted, melancholy bent but retains its edge. It's a fun song. We haven't heard Kid Cudi in a while, either. This could do well and has a decent 2020 pedigree but may remain in the background.

"Savage" by Megan Thee Stallion ft. Beyonce

I heard this on the radio this week and was like "Oh, that's hot." I love hearing Beyonce swear. It's just fun. It's like hearing your mom swear. It's so rare. Megan Thee Stallion is a promising new act and it's great to have Queen Bey's blessing here. I feel like Beyonce rarely actually puts out songs, but when they do it's fire. It's a treat.

"My Oh My" by Camila Cabello ft. DaBaby

This is like if a telenovela was a song. It's awesome. It's trashy and catchy and beautiful. I have been touting Camila for years now and I hope this takes off this summer. Jeez, this dropped in February? Where have I been this year? Quarantine really does mess with your head. I feel like I heard this for the first time this week. Whatever, I'm down. Maybe being in isolation inside will extend some lifetimes.

"Blinding Lights" by the Weeknd

I guess we're actually all doing classic tracks now. I'm an old man now. This is our 10th year of this crap. This song is great, it feels simultaneously like Uncut Gems (2019) Weeknd and just a straight up synth 80s song. It's a good jam and one we can trip out to or bang out to this summer. Maybe, if it hasn't spent its last breath. We might as well be just covering all the gems from Spring 2020. Soundtrack of Quarantine. Soundtrack of our Lives.

"Toosie Slide" by Drake

Unpopular opinion - Drake isn't actually that good, he was just anointed as a cool rapper in like 2011 and never messed that up. He is was in Degrassi, ya'll. Go Raptors. Anyway, this somewhere between "God's Plan" and "Money in the Grave" and that's just fine. It's kind of like "Blinding Lights" in that it just sounds like any other song from the artist, but it's still good. It doesn't push his art anywhere. But it'll do.

"Say So" by Doja Cat ft. Nicki Minaj

Doja Cat has moved up quite a bit since "Mooo!" which we proudly showcased back in the day. Her softer vocals pair up well with the intensity of Nicki and we really just need a Cardi B remix to hit a strong female rapper trifecta. Also this gets the #1 spot because she apparently promised Nicki she'd show her boobs if it hit #1 on the Billboard charts. I don't think that will happen, but that's fun. Fun stuff. It's a good song, it could hang around a while more.

Next week...

Dua Lipa seems to be coming out with a song every few days, so that's a constant threat to jump on this countdown. It's going to be tough to be all ears for new music, but I guess it's actually no different than our typical search for new jams online. We'll be searching for the hottest, sweatiest, thirstiest jams out there. Or just put up this crap again, it's all good.

Summer Jam 2018 Week 9: July Loves

We're getting into the thick of July now - and it looks like our massive swath of chill jams last week worked! The temperature's way down. Way down for those sweet summer feels. Listen, I know my method is totally flawed because I listen to terrestrial radio like some kind of caveman. I actually checked out a little bit of Spotify this week. I know, crazy, right? So much Drake on the Top 50. What is wrong with us. I'd like to start incorporating some 2018 methods of musical discovery. For now we've got a bit of a mix going on.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Boys" by Lizzo



It seems like this summer is filled with songs about boys and girls. It's as if everyone wants to bang each other. Charlie XCX's "Boys" might be the better song and sexier boy-driven video but Lizzo brings an attitude all her own plus a dynamite electric guitar breakdown. She's had a couple tracks but no real big hits as of yet. She reminds me of a Meghan Trainor who isn't trying as hard.

"SAD!" by XXXTENTACION

The death of XXXTentacion is sad in the general sense that all senseless deaths are sad, but I still have very little idea who this guy is. He definitely seems like a piece of shit, but this song is kind of hot. There has a lot of XXXTentacion attencion in the wake of his untimely death and this jam does have a nice hook to it. It's ultimately not all that great, though. This is so damn harsh. His death is sad, for sure, but that doesn't suddenly make him a great musician. It's not like we're suddenly appreciating Verne Troyer's great contributions to cinema.

"The Middle" by Zedd, Maren Morris

I have ceased to like this song, but it crept up everywhere again this week. This was probably just a chance encounter, driven by terrestrial radio too afraid to engage with popular new millennial music. I mean, it's so old. I might as well put the latest Frank Sinatra and Frankie Valley song on this list. If we're looking at a slice of America, though, we've got to include it. "The Middle" impacted peoples' lives this week. My life. Through anger.

"IDGAF" by Dua Lipa

Call this another slow burn track I guess, although my enjoyment is growing. Somehow it's still fresh to me. I suppose because I wasn't into it for a while, and now my ears are tuned in. I know, I know - what's next - a caveman banging on sticks? It's also not very popular on Spotify, but Spotify is like, all Drake and XXXTentacion. What is that about.

"Bed" by Nicki Minaj ft. Ariana Grande

I have a better name for this song - "Boobs" by Boobs ft. Boobs. Jeez boobs. Sorry, I will try to focus. This song is okay, for the record I dug "The Light is Coming" quite a bit more, but this had some increased airplay along with a new video this week. Nicki's other songs never quite took off this summer despite a big push and a lot of effort to launch them. I don't think Nicki is quite passé yet, but she's definitely not the hot new voice she used to be. So, boobs instead. Those are still pretty good.

"Girls Like You" by Maroon 5 ft. Cardi B

I finally started hearing this jam on the radio after getting really into it last month. It's not really positioned to be a dominant song of any kind, but could be a mid-range jam for a couple weeks if it keeps up its upward trajectory. Also on Spotify.

"I Like It" by Cardi B ft. Bad Bunny, J Balvin

The #1 Billboard song in the country somehow and definitely growing into a significant crossover jam, I'm curious if this becomes a definitive Cardi jam. We've got "Bodak Yellow" for sure, and I dug "Be Careful" but she's gotten more notoriety from featuring on every single song ever made in 2018 than a lot of her own stuff. And okay, I was harsh on this and Cardi a few weeks ago but it's fully grown on me. It might even challenge Ari and Camila for some Summer Queen status come September.

"Never Be the Same" by Camila Cabello

How can we list "Never Be the Same" and not "No Tears Left to Cry"?! Well, Camila continued being everywhere this week. Ariana was still kind of everywhere, but ultimately just got squeezed out. Again, this is a terrestrial radio thing. Billboard and Spotify seem to have already left this track behind. I don't buy that, though. I heard this more than anything else this week, and a few weeks like this getting ahead of Camila bodes really well for Camila's crown. I'll admit I'm getting kind of sick of this, though.

Next week...

I don't know. I'll keep listening to Spotify. I left off Ariana and Bebe this week, along with this Chaka Khan "Like Sugar" song which is funky as hell. There are still a lot of other artists vying to break in, like the Carters and Juice WRLD and Offset and Post Malone and a lot of other crappy to mid-range artists making crappy to mid-range music. Stay summered, people!

Summer Jam 2018 Week 8: Independence Week!

As the nation welcomes July with indiscriminate air explosions and holy shit temperatures, we can let the smooth salty fresh jams of eight great tracks to cool our brows and blow our minds. Yeah... This year we have the Fourth of July on a Wednesday, which basically means we are writing off this whole week. How will you stay cool? These jams:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Crush" by Tessa Violet



I actually listened to this song so much this week it feels like I discovered it years ago. The video is a hypnotic millennial exercise with a really sweet and honest exploration of those first crush feelings. SUMMER Crush feelings?! I really dig this - it could be a breakout for Violet who's been around a while but I don't totally see it becoming a dominant jam or anything.

"Hunnybee" by Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Alright, so I threw this on last week as a lark, and then for some reason kept hearing it over and over this week until I was compelled to add it again. No, this isn't really a mainstream hot track. It's a cool track. A cool track for cool cats. Yeah - no fur licking for us. We stay cool just by listening to "Hunnybee."

"Sit Next to Me" by Foster the People

This jam has popped in intermittently, and as both the only rock song I currently like (is it actually rock? Or pop? Pop rock?), along with a jam that crept into my ear again and again this week, here we are. I haven't yet put that much thought into this jam at all, but it is a cool track. If you haven't guessed, we're all about cool tracks this week.

"Yikes" by Kanye

Here is another song that's kind of weirdly positioned as either a Summer Jam track, or frankly, a commercial track at all. It's all about mental health and getting help and the cultural stigma attached to both. It's fairly open for a Kanye song, except for the fact that despite all the accusations about his ego, Kanye's actually one of the most open artists ever. I suppose that's a little ouroboros, but as the lyrics of this track strike me more and more it's a notable track to drop here.

"Bed" by Nicki Minaj ft. Ariana Grande

So, what do you do when "Chun-Li" doesn't quite hit like you wanted it to? Bring on the most popular artist of the moment and drop "The Light is Coming." Oh wait, I meant, switch who is featured on whose song and drop "Bed" instead. Nicki and Ari have partnered up a lot and their chemistry is always fantastic. This could be primed to be pretty good, although I'm not sure its catchy stickiness is really there. But is chill. This week we're

"I Like It" by Cardi B and lots

I was just reflecting on the fact that Cardi must have filmed like fourteen different video appearances before she got pregnant. In this day an age, she should have just pulled an Ali Wong and went for it, but as you can track my dealing with this song over the past few weeks I think I've finally come around. It's surging on the charts, too, because everyone loves Cardi B for some reason. She somehow sings with way better English than when she speaks.

"Never Be the Same" by Camila Cabello

We're a bit past halfway, but can we call it? It's a low down dirty drag race between Camila and Ariana this summer. We'll see who gets crowned Queen unless something really really big comes along. They do keep negating each other, so we'll see. I am kind of just reaching the crest of the wave where I don't much care about this anymore, but for now it's still being played everywhere, so dip.

"No Tears Left to Cry" by Ariana Grande

Yep. For Independence Week we have women of color in the top four spots and people of color in the Top Five. America! Blatant immigrants, too! Ariana is actually just super Italian, but are Italians white? I don't know. This isn't a productive area of discussion. Productive ariana of discussion. The song is still killing it after I keep doubting it, and it's still Ariana's world - I could have easy thrown "The Light is Coming" on here, too, which may be my fav song of hers at the moment.

Next week...

"IDGAF" was close this week. As was Taylor Swift's "Delicate," which I've kind of ignored so far this summer because it's not all that great. The Carters keep coming out with new stuff, but none of it really does anything for me. Other than that, for some reason we suddenly cared about XXXTencion because of his tragic death, which is hella sad, but I mean...didn't make his songs any better.

Note the harshest NMW comment ever - 07/02/18.

Summer Jam 2018 Week 7: It's Ariana's World

My word, folks - it's officially Summer Time! We're seven weeks in, of course, because who really wants a 10 week summer? We need all seventeen weeks of greatness pumping on all cylinders! As we approach the eve of July, the ultimate summer month, there are a handful of tracks in pretty hot contention for Ultimate Summer Jam Royalty status. We definitely wanted to mix things up a bit this week, though, so check out the nonsense we have firing away!

Hot Jam of the Week: "the light is coming" by Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj



I actually really dig this track. The beat is kind of bonkers and the hook is smooth as hell. I don't see it as super radio friendly, and whenever I think "No Tears Left to Cry" is fading it's played a thousand more times and I find myself still addicted. Suffice it to say that we're all living in Ariana's world right now, and she always seems to work well with Nicki throwing down some lyrics, even if she might as well not be in this track, which moreover feels like a weird advertisement for "Chun-Li." Either way, it's hot.

"Hunnybee" by Unknown Mortal Orchestra

I wanted to go really weird and obscure this week, and this song landed on my desk for some reason. I've been digging it all week, and it's a more chill and soothing track than any garbage Demi Lovato song that came out this week, so here you go. Summer Jam / Radio play potential? That's non-existent, friend, but go grab a shandy on the porch and crank this shit. Or maybe just play it barely audibly.

"Apeshit" by the Carters

I kind of get the feeling that Jay-Z and Beyonce are trying too hard with their videos these days. I mean, we get it, you both his artistic apexes with your last two albums each detailing your sides of some huge fight and now I guess you're coming back together. But this video isn't focused enough on a song (that isn't great to start with), and all over the place in that esoteric way that Jay-Z really struck with basically all of 4:44. Anyway, it's still got some cultural cache and made a decent splash this week.

"Nice for What" by Drake

I keep underestimating this track, and like last week it was kind of an incessant background track that is growing on me more than it should. It's not really all that great of a song, not even the best Drake song (lol - that's probably still "Forever," remember that Sprite commercial. I love 2009 nostalgia), but it's kind of just around, which is cool and works as a track that just about everyone can enjoy. That, my friends, is harder than it looks to pull off.

"IDGAF" by Dua Lipa

This is a track I've ignored for the better part of summer, but I tuned into it this week. It's probably better than I've been giving it credit for and Dua Lipa is one of those great new pop voices that I can never place apart from Halsey or Maren Morris or anyone else. But there's a nice rhythm and flow here that she did really well with "New Rules" as well. You know "New Rules" is one of the Top Songs of 2018 already? To some extent this shit doesn't even matter anymore - the top tracks are whatever you wanted to listen to. But this song has some Summer potential.

"I Like It" by Cardi B ft. Bad Buny & J Balvin

Same as "IDGAF" this song did not hit me well at first, but it's grown on me. It certainly achieves that Latin summer feel, but I still hate Cardi B like 50% of the time. Yeah, this hits that mark pretty well. Sometimes her flow is just amazing, but then it switches to some off-key harsh vibes that destroy my ears. She's also like, definitely brain-damaged or insane, or just a wild chick or something. Again, this works sometimes, but I think she just needs a break - her ubiquity is overwhelming. She's like 2004 Jude Law. That's the weirdest comparison ever.

"No Tears Left to Cry" by Ariana Grande

Yep - back again. You just can't doubt this song. It's doing pretty well and one of the biggest songs we got. I keep trying to figure it out - it's half mournful, half resilient, half-Inception (2010), all ballad. Ariana definitely makes connecting with the youth zeitgeist look easy. "We way to fly to partake in all this hate we out here vibing" is an amazing line that I just figured out this week.

"Never Be the Same" by Camila Cabello

This just felt like a Camila week. I also thought this track's status was faltering, but um...I was wrong. We're at a point where we're in a definitive Camila vs. Ariana duel for the summer, BUT it's still really early. Seven weeks in, ten to go. Can they sustain? We could be in for one of the grandest of all showdowns. Now, this column is unbelievably unpopular, but you've got to stick around to see who wins this shit, right?! I....probably. Who cares. This song is close to breaching that irritating threshold for me, but not quite yet.

Next week...

Aforementioned Demi Lovato tracks, plus new Meghan Trainor, Carters, Ty Dolla $ign, Imagine Dragons, Nicki Minaj, PRETTYMUCH, and NF this week. They all faltered in the wake of our mighty Winners Countdown!! Also, Jay Rock & J. Cole "OSOM" I literally wrote up a paragraph before I kicked them out. That song's good. No room for "Meant to Be" this week, either, which could definitely come back. What are you jamming out to this summer?!

Summer Jam 2018 Week 2! Girls and Boys

Welcome, loyal pop audiophiles to the second week of summer - and boy has it been a cold, dumb, rainy one so far. We've got lots more jams along with more of the same crap from last week. Truly this is an age to behold! Let's just dive in.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by the Backstreet Boys



Yeah, so this is the first new BSB song in like twenty years, I had to let it drop here. Although they really aren't Backstreet Boys anymore, more like Backstreet Men. It's amazing, I would never listen to a group called Backstreet Men. That's not right. I'm kind of blown away by how un-notable this track is, they seemed totally comfortable to settle on the most generic song ever instead of anything that acknowledges a legacy or comeback. Also, are they still like, trying to chase girls and sing about having their hearts broken? You're 40, bro.

"Girls" by Rita Ora ft. Cardi B, Bebe Rexha, and Charli XCX

This is a little known fact, but this is actually the exact opposite of boys. Of course, Charli XCX already covered that. I do dig how this jam features every hot female artist of the moment and they come together pretty well. The track is fun enough if not exactly revolutionary or groundbreaking or anything. I'm down.

"The Middle" by Zedd, Maren Morris, Grey

This is another song that I can never remember either the name of or the slew of artists involved. It's actually remarkably restrained for a big EDM pop ballad with a really confident beat drop. It's also incredibly old, and we're still seeing it ride its big wave but it ought to die down pretty soon.

"Nice for What" by Drake

This song returns, under the radar again, but it's actually got a nice beat and flow to it. Do you think that Drake has crossed a boundary from rap into pop yet? It's totally plausible. This jam is actually better than I've given it credit for in the sense that it's really listenable and engaging, but I also don't necessarily think this will become an immortal track that we always think about in tandem with 2018.

"Chun-Li" by Nicki Minaj

I had "Barbie Tingz" last week, although this is definitely a better song. Nicki performed on SNL this week and this track has also been around for a while. It's kind of grown on me lately, and although there seems to be an artificially generated feud between her and Cardi, by all means they appear to be friendly. Although this film is hella assertive towards her rap dominance. I don't totally get why she's into Street Fighter, and there is some awkward appropriation here that doesn't make sense, but the beat is hot.

"Never Be the Same" by Camila Cabello

The hardest challenge every week is remembering how many "L's" are in both Camila and Cabello. This track is still just taking off and I think could have some legs, although may not ever reach #1. I get the feeling it's a perennial runner-up kind of song rather than one that truly captures some zeitgeist. It will probably inch up here or there, but I've definitely got my ears on it for now.

"This is America" by Childish Gambino

This was a tough call to not be #1, but I also feel like it's dropped a little bit, at least in its novelty. It's still dominating a lot of pop conversation, but the bigger question now is if it can last sonically. Even though it IS a very listenable song, it's hard to divorce that from the political implications. Like, would you play this at a wedding? Is it even comfortable to dance to? I mean, that distracting minstrelsy is the whole point. It's designed to make you uncomfortable. Can it still be a hot jam that way? Well, until it truly dies down, we'll list it pretty high.

"No Tears Left to Cry" by Ariana Grande

For some reason it took me a while to put it together that this song was about the Manchester concert massacre last year. That certainly adds a bit of weight to this jam in addition to it being a fantastic song from every level from Ariana's vocal prowress to the juicy beat. It was kind of every where this week, including this fantastic and surprisingly good-sounding Nintendo Labo performance.

Next week...

There was a shitload of new music that dropped this week, from Meghan Trainor to The Weeknd. It was all pretty shitty, though. I think the top three jams here will last for a bit, at least until something hotter drops sometime in June. What are you listening to this Summer?

Summer Jam 2018 WEEK 1!! America!

Are you ready, folks?

Seriously - are you ready for this?!

Once again we bring you what is by far the least popular column around here - the Summer Jam Countdown. We have officially declared this past week the first week of Summer, and we'll go all the way until Labor Day counting down the hottest tracks in Donald Glover's America. This is somehow our ninth year doing this crap. We've got seventeen weeks to see who will be crowned true Summer Royalty.

You may ask yourself, "Why?" Why should we care who has the hottest summer song? Well, summer's the best, that's why. We engrave in stone whoever's track can be THE memorable jam of 2018 and forever be indebted to their pop greatness. Let's dive in:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Barbie Tingz" by Nicki Minaj



This song is awful. But boobs. It seems like Nicki is having trouble finding her voice after being a few years removed from her peak popularity. I don't think this song is all that popular or even has much of a chance at gaining ground this summer. Boobs.

"Nice for What" by Drake

The #1 song in the country according to the Billboard Hot 100, which is more untrustworthy than ever, considering that Post Malone somehow has eight songs in the top 25. I haven't even heard of 80% of these. Drake sometimes flirts with greatness, and this song is alright, but not something I think will change anybody's life. "God's Plan" was better, but this has a nice rhythm.

"Look Alive" by BlocBoy JB & Drake

Does Drake feel like he's really popular right now? No, right? This is a song I've heard a bunch but couldn't really place. That feeling seems to have taken over a lot of pop music right now. We'll get into more of this as we go, but it's as if anyone could have written these songs and they're all interchangeable. Whats that you say? Pop has always been like that? That's definitely true.

"Meant to Be" by Bebe Rexha ft. Florida Georgia Line

This song is basically a dinosaur. So old. But at the end of its pop lifetime it's still a significant jam and I def hummed along to it this week. Rexha is a decently underrated pop artist, it's as if she tries really hard but nobody cares about her. That's only because she's one of those interchangeable artists with no voice of her own. This song stands out enough as a crossover hit, and even I like it, which is crazy, because I typically can't deal with country music on any level.

"The Middle" by Zedd, Maren Morris, Grey

Zedd is that EDM guy, right? I remember "Clarity" with him and Foxes. I must sound so old. Almost as old as that Bebe Rexha song. This is nice track, though, but I haven't been able to place the voice for weeks. I suppose that's because it's Maren Morris. Or Grey. What the hell. This is totally factory-produced assembly-line music, but the irony is...does it matter? I tap my feet. Isn't that the goal. Are we spiritually or substantially lessened because of this kind of mindless ephemeral pop? These are bigger questions than a cheeky countdown column should handle. I'm telling you - one of our least popular pieces ever.

"No Tears Left to Cry" by Ariana Grande

I love how secretly popular Ariana Grande is. Like, we don't really talk about her in the same conversation as a Britney or a Rihanna yet, but that totally ignores the fact that she's #14 on Twitter and a video as random as "No Tears Left to Cry" has 146 million views in three weeks. The track itself does a nice job bouncing between pop and ballad and really shows off how great of a singer Grande actually is. This jam is fresh enough to do some damage and may be around this summer.

"Never Be the Same" by Camila Cabello

It's hard to even remember her role in Fifth Harmony, which I'm sure is music to Camila's ears. This is another jam that's been in my ear for weeks until I realized it was Cabello's follow-up to "Havana" which is still popular enough it could be here on its own. The beat's kind of whack, but like "No Tears Left to Cry," it finds nimble ground between innocuous jam and power ballad, which is all on Cabello's voice. It's got room for legs these next few weeks.

"This is America" by Childish Gambino

I first saw this and thought automatically, "Cool, that's my Hot Jam!" No. No no no, this is THE jam. It's just starting to get wary radio play, but there's no video this year that's caused more a stir or been such a sudden political, cultural, and musical movement. Let's just embed it too:



More qualified people than I have written about the symbolism, and at any rate I think it's pretty straight forward, which makes the video even more powerful. Sonically and structurally it's amazing and contradictory and thematically solid and concise. You've got to hand it to Donald Glover for already having the best week of anyone this year - coming off a recent SNL hosting while also starring in the critically acclaimed TV show Atlanta, having this video, and uhh...a little thing called Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) dropping in a few weeks. If that wasn't enough he also did some writing on Black Panther (2018). If that wasn't enough enough, you've got to remember he's voicing Simba in next year's Lion King re-make, which if you're counting, makes him a contributor to Disney's three main assets right now - Star Wars, Marvel, and live action remakes of their own animated films. How they let him churn out "This is America" which is totally off Disney brand is beyond me, but I'm damned glad he found time to effortlessly drop this for us all.

Next week...

I'm curious when "This is America" may burn out, but I have a feeling it's just starting its run. As you can tell from the rest of the crap this week there's not much going on in pop music right now. Unless a Cardi B song can gain some traction (we really just missed the "Be Careful" wave), it's a rough spot. Stay tuned, loyal reader / listeners, for we have sixteen more of these to get through!

Katy Perry Does Double Duty LIVE Summer Jam Week 2!

Once again we're coming at you LIVE on Week 2 of the Official Norwegian Morning Wood Summer Jam Countdown - our destiny is here until Labour Day - let's get into some funk, baby! We have eight songs that are ready to pop like candy-coated dynamite here just for you, the loyal listener. Let's jam.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Swish Swish" by Katy Perry ft. Nicki Minaj

Two weeks, two Hot Katy Perry jams, but what can I say? She's bringing it. Nicki doesn't bring a ton to this track that a random group like Migos do, but it's a good enough song that continues to firm up Katy's new brand. This takes about a minute to get interesting, and is in every way a lesser track to "Bon Appetite" but it's trending enough this weekend to earn a spot here.

Dropped: "iSpy" by Kyle ft. Lil' Yachty

Our #1 last week is barely holding on - this just wasn't an earworm this week. There's a lot of competition right now as everyone settles into their summer jam hood. "iSpy" was never destined for a crown, having dropped far too early, but it should still have some juice in it going forward for a few months.

SWE: "High" by Sir Sly

Here's your random track for the week. I heard this jam this week and was digging it hardcore. There's of course no real hope this number catches on, but I like highlighting some random alt jams like this from time to time. It has a fantastic, cutty rhythm and almost feels like an old Foster the People song.

Issues Need Tissues: "Issues" by Julia Michaels

This jam seems like it's been around for a bit, although just this week it started really chugging forward. I have no idea who Julia Michaels is, but she can sing the hell out both the hook and verse work of a song like this. The lyrical content is very whatever, we've heard this a million times from anyone who's ever sung anything ever, but the way it straddles in between ballad and upbeat dance number is engrossing. I bet this could stay for a minute.

Bone Ape Tit: "Bon Appetit" by Katy Perry ft. Migos

This ain't going anywhere. It's a beautiful EDM / Pop / Rap song that merges everything like a bountiful buffet. I'm fearful of Katy dominating all of Summer forever, which is totally possible right now. I don't really know if this is supposed to be goofy Katy or serious Katy, but it's surely sexy Katy, and that always works. Let the assault begin.

Like Kellyanne Conway: "Bad Liar" by Selena Gomez

I almost slotted this in the Hot Jam slot, but it works better here, because it totally legit took over a ton this week. This is kind of like that Julia Michaels song in that it's been around for a second without exactly making a name for itself. Like "Same Old Love" a few years back she does a really nice job with the progression of her vocal work and it's totally sexy even if at 24 years old she still looks like she's in middle school.

Rebel Just for Kicks: "Feel It Still" by Portugal. The Man

Now this is this week's earworm. Portugal. The Man has had a few jams here and there but this is by far their biggest jam to date. It's a little old, but rock songs always seem to have a delayed reaction from release to prominence. This has such an engaging and fun beat and vocal work that makes for a great summer contender. Can it hold on? I'm inclined to say no, but for now and maybe here and there this will pop up.

The Old Man: "That's What I Like" by Bruno Mars

Definitely an old song, but it's hung around and was good enough to earn that Top Spot this week. It assuredly won't last, but in this state of flux, it's got it. It's been around long enough that its hotness gets even hotter with mouthed lyrics at dance clubs and a knowing nodding approval. For some reason Bruno Mars is the only one really pushing funk these days, or is at least the most successful at it. I'd be eager to see what else he might drop to secure a Summer Jam Kingdom.

Next week...

What new song with Katy Perry drop? Can GaGa surge back ahead? What about everyone else? These are the questions that have plagued humanity for all of history. I also narrowly kicked out "Rockabye" this week which is still knocking on the door. Altogether these really are the hot ones right now, and I struggle seeing much besides a shuffle of the order next week. Stay tuned, true believers, the Summer's just starting to sizzle!

Summer Jam Week 7: Madonna Is Terrible

If you'll believe it, we're almost rounding out June, which is a staggering crazy thought. The Sun has been out for far too long as the bacchanalian solstice orgies are commencing with full unrestrained glee. School is about to be out for little brats across the country and it's a glorious time for everyone. So what songs ought to be on your graduation or wedding soundtracks? What jams will you forever link to this hot diggity June of 2015? Keep reading and crank them speakers to find out:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Feel Right" by Mark Ronson ft. Mystikal



Where has Mystikal been in like, the past fifteen years? I love how Mark Ronson seems to keep trying to bring funk back and he's doing a damn good job of it. This video is also incredible. Is that one of the Young Versions of Cee Lo from "Fuck You?" His head is huge. And yet, he somehow does an uncanny Mystikal impression. I actually really like this song and video, although I can't see it really gaining significant traction or anything.

Dud of the Week: "Bitch I'm  Madonna" by Madonna ft. Nicki Minaj

This is probably the video that got the most  hype this week, but it's objectively so damn terrible. It just reeks of complete desperation. Madonna, you're the reason why any of these young pop superstars are here today sounding like they do. Don't try to imitate the artists who have been imitating you for twenty years. The crazy party dancing all seems kind of out of place for Madonna at her age, and that's not to say she shouldn't be making music at her age or anything. Just that it's really weird to hear her trying to reclaim her status as Pop Queen with such a club-minded song. She does still look pretty good, actually. I also love how terrible the "cameos" are, when clearly no one but Rita Ora and Chris Rock (who seems to be the only one who got the memo to have fun with this) bothering to show up in person, including Nicki Minaj, who actually puts in a couple rap verses. It all just seems like she's trying to ape Taylor Swift's cameo-heavy "Bad Blood" video but she puts out a much more terrible version, which is awful. How can Taylor Swift know more people willing to actually show up on set for a video than Madonna? Sorry to shit all over this, but I was just crazy disappointed by this this week.

R&B Jam of the Week: "Me U & Hennessy" by DeJ Loaf

In keeping with my solemn vow to break another cool R&B Jam each week I bring you DeJ Loaf today, who is like Meatloaf, but slightly more chill. This is actually a fantastic love-making song that oozes sonic sex. I'd call it a perfect late night bad decision Summer Jam, but like most of our R&B Jams this summer I don't think it'll reach a truly mainstream audience.

Desert Tracks: "Hey Mama" by David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj, Bebe Rexha, and AfroJack

No, you don't need to list everyone who helped produce a song in the song's featured credits. I had David Guetta so much. It's telling that the beat is the weakest thing about this song, which is awesome more on the backs of Nicki's tight vocals and Rexha's bellows. Do you think that Nicki Minaj turns down any song offer ever? Evidently not, because this is the second jam this week that features her appearing but not actually present with anyone else in her video. This has had some impressive weeks lately and it could stay around for a while.

Aha: "This Summer's Gonna Hurt Like a Motherfucker" by Maroon 5

This thing finally makes an appearance on our list. I'm trying to figure out what the clean version says. "Aha?" "Like a Mother-Aha"? I don't know. I love how Maroon 5 is basically on a streak where every song they drop is significantly worse than the one before. They're still virtually one of the most popular bands on the planet right now, enough so that people apparently didn't quite mind them ruining their weddings a few months back. This jam could crawl for a while, and while Maroon 5 is typically a presence on any Summer Jam list, could this be an explicit Summer-based attempt at gaining the top honors? I don't think they'll pull it off, but stay tuned.

Fab Action: "Bad Blood" by Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar

The strength of this song and video is that it's still growing. I haven't gotten totes sick of it yet, and actually I keep getting into it more the more I listen to it. I started really cluing into Kendrick's lyrics, and while they're probably the worst he's ever written (if he wrote it), but his flow makes it pretty ear-pleasing. I do like his quick reference to "Backseat Freestyle," which was really how his whole connection with Tay Sway started, with her posting pics of her jamming out to it in her car. I do like how this jam keeps rising until it pops and how the video mostly features Taylor maintaining her "Shake It Off" adorkableness with a mix of badassery, always with little touches of fab, though. It's wonderful.

Neil Armstrong: "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon

Get at me, 80s. I thought this song was getting a little weaker lately, but here we are again with it clocking in pretty solidly. We're a third into the Summer Jam Season now, and this has virtually dominated so far. I think it's got a few more weeks left and it's so stupid fun that it's tough to count it out for long.

Ode to Staying at Home: "Honey I'm Good" by Andy Grammer

For the second week in a row I have the week's prize to "Honey I'm Good" while feeling kind of wretched about it. There wasn't really a more ubiquitous song in my life than this, although I did start to turn the channel when it came on the radio this week. That's probably an indication that its annoying levels have reached peak saturation and it's time in the sun is over. I'm still waiting for that really definitive break-out Jam, which had better drop any day now.

Next Week...

Selena Gomez and ASAP Rocky dropped a pretty sick track today which I'm going to keep my ears on this week. I'm also curious if Maroon 5 can keep rising, if Andy Grammer can stay relevant, and what the hell we're going to do with Madonna. We're really in the thick of it now, folks. Stay tuned to keep up to date with all the hottest jams!

Summer Jam Week 5: Hey Mama Takes a Plunge

Good Monday, Planet Earth - it's time again to countdown the hottest jams of the week, and things are consolidating pretty damn nicely for the Summer. We're starting to really amp up into June, the Cottonwood's out, the Water Parks are open and it's time to get wet and weird! Let's dive in to the Hottest Jams of the past seven days!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Go Big or Go Home" by American Authors 



There were a lot of pretty shitty new songs floating around this week, but I decided to go with this shitty song. Nah, it's fun and catchy enough and it totally attempts to gain ownership on a nice vague phrase. After you listen to this embedded track you'll never hear this song again, and that's comforting, in its own way.

This Body Talks: "Talking Body" by Tove Lo

This track took a hearty dip this week, but it's still fairly ubiquitous. Like I started to do last week I've reached the saturation point with this jam where I'm actually getting past the peppy beat and pop-fueled chorus to understand how actually deep and desperate this song is. It's full of a lonely regrettable kind of relationship that gives into physicality while emotional states deteriorate. Let's put on some Andy Grammer instead.

Your Summer Ho Down: "Honey I'm Good" by Andy Grammer

See? These songs couldn't be more diametrically opposed. This is all about unrelenting positively and relationship satisfaction, which is kind of nutty song material. Usually love songs are about yearning, or courtship, or break-ups, not successful long-term steady couplings. That's messed up, man. I don't think this has the legs to cruise through the Summer Season, but for at least one more week, it shows its cheering face.

Your R&B Jam of the Week: "L$D" by A$AP Rocky

I'm not sure you'd call this traditional R&B, but I made a solemn vow to include at least one smooth jam on this countdown every week. This has a bit more intensity than say, the latest Montel Williams jam, but I actually dig it a lot. A$AP Rocky has a new album dropping and he's grossly underrated amongst our latest crop of rap gods. This is a sweet song that radically shifts course midway through and becomes something else entirely. Worth a listen, people. As for Jam Status? Well, we know it won't really appear again here.

Quarrelsome: "Bad Blood" by Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar

While this is still crushing music video views, its spot on the Hot 100 actually dipped a place this week. It lost a bit of its novelty, but is still largely fantastic, and its position as Taylor's most pop song yet is a clear signal of her role as one of the hottest stars of the moment. The video is obviously extravagantly elegant, and I'm still excited that I only recognized Lena Dunham and Mariska Hargitay the first time around. I think this is still in a solid position to reign supreme this Summer, but it's getting to the point where it's going to have to act fast if it wants to do so.

Who Is Worth It? "Worth It" by Fifth Harmony ft. Kid Ink

Yes, I am just as surprised as you are. This track was everywhere this week after I had figured it to be largely dead. I still don't totally know who this video is intended for. The song is so steeped in meaningless pop with a vague female empowerment note, but the chicks, who all sound exactly alike somehow, are really just reduced to interchangeable sexual objects here. So, should young women be into this? Should young men? Old men? Probably old men. I love the dueling "worth it" songs going on right now, the other being The Weeknd's "Earned It" with its "Girl you perfect / You always worth it." Clearly The Weeknd is talking to Fifth Harmony, saying she's worth it, and she's like "yeah, I am."

Behold a Man: "Hey Mama" by David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj, Bebe Rexha, and Afrojack

You know what this is? A Nicki Minaj song. Why can't I just say "Hey Mama" by Nicki Minaj? I always complain about the amount of DJs and beat producers that soStmehow now work themselves into song credits. It just makes writing these things up a pain. I haven't even tracked this song yet this summer but it exploded this week on a variety of radio stations and the video's taking off pretty solidly as well. Dave Guetta has stiff planetary douchebag competition, but it feels like it's been a while since Nicki dipped into vocals this good, letting her Trinidadian girl out a bit. It's mad tight.

Redheads Come Home: "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon

So once again I give them the top spot, because even though another week has gone by and this song is still as ubiquitous as hell, I'm still liking it more each time I hear it. When we reach the point where that's the other way around, things might change. For now, though, we can all relish in the 80s-tinged pop-rock glory of this epic ode to not getting hung up on the little things. What a summer release! Leading the way for Summer Royalty right now, we won't be crushing to this nearly as hard come July, but right now it's tough to argue for anything else.

Next Week...

You know, "Uptown Funk" really made a comeback this week. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say that it hasn't quite left yet, and I really should acknowledge that this should be somewhere on this countdown if it wasn't already ANCIENT. Speaking of ancient songs, I also wanted to tout this Vance joy track, which is getting some traction this week and although a weaker song than "Riptide," is totes enjoyable. I also left off "See You Again" this week because it has always felt past its prime, but was still getting played a ton lately. It kind of dipped this week and that was enough for me to spend valuable time talking about A$AP Rocky and Fifth Harmony. Stay tuned for more jams next week!

Summer Jam 2015 Week 2: Tove is Tops

It's Week 2, a stab at the middle of May and we're full of anticipation of what could be a great jam-worthy summer. That being said, this is a marathon, not a sprint, and it's none too likely that any of these tracks puts a serious dent in our heart of hearts. It's largely just a shuffle from last week with no real jam soaring or falling that significantly, although this is also always the time where you kind of figure out where things should start landing in anticipation of Memorial Day, which to many is the critical kick-off weekend for the Months of Sun.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Bitch I'm Madonna" by Madonna ft. Nicki Minaj



I thought about highlighting Nicki's solo effort, but Madonna was boosted by a pretty sweet Tonight Show performance recently. It's getting a bit of airplay in wake of that, and although it certainly sounds like a Madonna song with a modern veneer, it's a bit too similar to every other EDM track out there to break out on its own. I also wanted to talk about it in context of Britney's similar team-up with Iggy Azalea we talked about last week. I'm glad these former pop superstars are trying really hard to be relevant again, and using current stars to help them reach their former glory, but I think Britney made a bit of a better song. There's difficultly in them breaking out now after they were such a force at the start of their careers. It's a tricky line because it's not actually that they sound like everyone else, just that everyone else since they dropped have tried to sound like them.

Only R&B of the Week: "Somebody" by Natalie La Rose ft. Jeremih

I think this pushed ahead of Omarion's "Post to Be" this week and I think it has potential to hang around this position on the list for a while without really surging near the top. The more I hear this song the more I like it, actually, even though its lyrics are completely unoriginal. You know, I'm really glad we finally got to hear Natalie La Rose's opinion on staying at the club after it closes. Not enough singers are bringing that to our attention. But it's all about the rhythm! It's smooth and cool and rolls with a fresh cadence that's pretty ear-pleasing. That's all a good R&B song needs to be great for summer. To be a song that's great ten years down the line? That's a taller order that "Somebody" ain't filling.

Hey What's Up Hello: "Trap Queen" by Fetty Wap

I may consider "Trap Queen"'s big zeitgeist moment to be a few weeks ago, but it's still a cool enough song to get some notoriety here. Plus I want to talk about Fetty Wap's weird eye. I mean, he's a rapper and a pirate! To be honest, he just lost it to a glaucoma that almost took both, which gives more credence to that disease being a bit more than just an excuse to smoke up. "Trap Queen" is an awesome song, though, and Fetty Wap is as much a rising star as anyone in the rap game right now. He also seems like a levelheaded dude. I think "Trap Queen" has spent too much to last the whole summer, but he could have momentum to drop something else fantastic.

Bring the Tissues: "See You Again" by Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Push

One of these days I'll post the Miranda Sings version. This is probably the movie song of the year (Oscar, much? No, I can't picture that), even if the actually diagetic theme of Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) may be the most notable score we've heard so far. But as long as this is still getting pretty good airplay and continuing to be a significant tear-jerker, it'll be on this list. Oh, Paul.

Big Pimpin: "Bitch Better Have My Money" by Rihanna

I always sort of have a softspot for SNL performers, and since this was the last one of the year before the Fall Season starts, I ought to include our golden girl, Rihanna. It's been a while since she had a definitive Summer Crown, 2007's "Umbrella," but she has never been a stranger to Summer Jam Success. This song is rising rather than falling, and it has that mix of intensity, personal anguish, and just not giving a shit that Rihanna has really been able to specialize in lately. I feel like she's always in the pop background doing something fantastic but no one totally recognizes it, maybe because it tends to be weird or uncomfortable or uneasy to fit in a projected pop star mold. I love Rihanna.

The Most Positive Summer Jam Ever: "Honey, I'm Good" by Andy Grammer

Here is the best trick to making a good Summer Playlist: "Honey, I'm Good" directly after "Bitch Better Have My Money." Just rolls off the ears. I do like how this is all about staying faithful and being really happy to have the significant other you already have. It's totally upbeat and smiley but it avoids being bland or milquetoast. It's also a track that's rising instead of falling and being pretty damn Summery, I'm sure we haven't heard it for the last time.

Michael Jackson Style: "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon

Get it? Here's our second totally positive and upbeat song of the week about really positive hook-ups. There's no real pain here, but plenty of longing, and this is still the funnest song on this list. It's got that instant Summer Catchiness and is breaking at a good time to dominate the first half of the Season or so. That being said, it's totally possible that it gets completely irritating by this time next week and we banish it to one-hit Hell. Until then, jam out, baby!

Put it On Me: "Talking Body" by Tove Lo

I think we have really underrated this song, which wormed its way into my earballs more than any other Jam this week. It's a bit more positive than "Habits" but doesn't lose any of Tove Lo's edge or originality. It's epic, grounded, sassy, and sexy. This little bit of everything comes together really well to propel it to great heights. It hasn't totally smashed through the charts yet, but there's no song I hummed more this week and for that reason, Tove rules over everyone. I can see these top two tracks fighting for a while, at least until some killer jam hits and dominates the Summer, but for now, it's these guys.

Next week...

Nicki Minaj seems to be cranking out a lot, whether it be by herself or with David Guetta again, and I'm tempted to see if anything else she can do fights its way into this list. I was also close to including The Weeknd's "Earned It" from Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), which is still kicking ass on the charts, but just isn't that hot. We trade in white hot jams here, people, not that lame three-month old shit. But we'll see if it ends up being worthy of jam consideration. Stay tuned!

2014 in Review: Muzak

Welcome ya'll to the Final Day of 2011. We got room for about one more post this year, so we'll talk about music. Yeah we skipped TV. The winner was True Detective, followed closely by Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. No more debate there. But music! Let's talk about music! Like we usually do here, let's start with a big list of every remotely good or interesting single to drop this year, forming a heady 2014 Capsule in roughly chronological order:

Singles of 2014:

"Sweatpants" by Childish Gambino
"Drunk in Love" by Beyoncé
"Cookie" by R. Kelly
"Turn Down for What" by Lil' Jon
"Dark Horse" by Katy Perry
"Hell of a Night" by Schoolboy Q
"Happy" by Pharrell
"Girls Chase Boys" by Ingrid Michaelson
"Fragile" by Tech N9ne ft. Kendrick Lamar, ¡MAYDAY!, and Kendall Morgan
"Pompeii" by Bastille
"Hey Brother" by Avicii
"Stolen Dance" by Milky Chance
"Talk Dirty" by Jason Derulo
"All of Me" by John Legend
"Glory and Gore" by Lorde
"West Coast" by Lana Del Rey
"#SELFIE" by The Chainsmokers
"The Worst" by Jhené Aiko
"Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX
"Digital Witness" by St. Vincent
"Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea
"I Mean It" by G-Eazy ft. Remo
"The Writing's on the Wall" by OK Go
"Stay With Me" by Sam Smith
"I Wanna Get Better" by Bleachers
"Boom Clap" by Charli XCX
"Rude" by MAGIC!
"Wiggle" by Jason Derulo ft. Snoop Dogg
"Tacky" by Weird Al
"Chandelier" by Sia
"Seen It All" by Young Jeezy ft. Jay-Z
"Come Get it Bae" by Pharrell ft. Miley Cyrus
"Flawless" by Beyoncé
"Back to the Shack" by Weezer
"Habits" by Tove Lo
"Left Hand Free" by alt-J
"Shake it Off" by Taylor Swift
"All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor
"This is How We Do" by Katy Perry
"Anaconda" by Nicki Minaj
"I" by Kendrick Lamar
"Blank Space" by Taylor Swift
"Animals" by Maroon 5
"Lips Are Movin'" by Meghan Trainor
"Tuesday" by ILOVEMAKONNEN ft. Drake
"Black Widow" by Iggy Azalea ft. Rita Ora
"Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars
"Take Me To Church" by Hozier
"I'm Not the Only One" by Sam Smith
"Love Me Harder" by Ariana Grande ft. The Weeknd
"Break the Rules" by Charli XCX
"The Heart Wants What it Wants" by Selena Gomez

So let's narrow that down. A couple songs clearly rise above the rest, and I would think they're all pretty obvious. At least for anyone who follows the Summer Jam. My picks for the Best Singles of 2014:

"Drunk in Love" by Beyoncé: They could still be overplaying this on the radio and I couldn't get sick of it. Queen Bey always puts a crazy amount of passion in her songs but her ode to drunk banging is her crowning achievement. #SURFBORT.
"Habits" by Tove Lo: I always think "Tone Loc" which is something else altogether. Tove Lo squirms around this track before finding some sublime confidence in a painful elegy to coping drug use that really shouldn't be suitable for Top 40 Radio. But hey, that's what that rhythm is for.
"The Worst" by Jhené Aiko: Is there a better voice that debuted this year than Aiko? This is R&B ballad is smooth, chilling, and full of heart-wrenching pain all at the same time.
"Blank Space" by Taylor Swift: I love the pop version of Tay Sway who seems to be super-aware of the public perception of her and who is in turn determined to undermine that through essentially meta-songs like this and "Shake It Off" where she's also hijacking youth phrases and culture to stand up for herself. They hate us cuz they ain't us.
"i" by Kendrick Lamar: I've had an awful lot of pop here, so let's finish with Kendrick. He's sampling the Isley Brothers' "Lady" so much he might as well be just rapping over the song, but he elevates it with his personal brand of self-effacing rapid-fire rap that has this real bitter edge to it that lends an outstanding fury to the audial experience.

This was also an outstanding year for the Music Videos. Here are my picks:

"Dangerous" by Big Data ft. Joywave



And it's not just the busty chicks running in slow motion! I swear! If I wanted just that I can watch Flo Rida's "Run" anytime I want. "Dangerous" is full of all these subversive misguided marketing elements revealing the stupidity inherent to a corporate culture that only follows what tests well. And yes, I can watch this all day for the chicks. Until they start attacking and eating people. See, it turns that sexiness on its head in fabulously gruesome ways.

"Tacky" by Weird Al



The single-take thing and the celebrity-lip synching are both kind of played out (tacky, if you will), but this video plods along until Jack Black arrives and just kills it with this infectious fat impish glee. This is the musical equivalent to Birdman (2014).

"7/11" by Beyoncé



There's so much going on here. Maybe it's one of the most successful ladies in music making the kind of video on the cheap she could have been making her first year in the business. Maybe it's the slightly subversive element of letting those back-up dancers be a little more sloppy, natural, casual, and fun. That's it. This video just looks like a hell of a lot of fun. Most artists aren't comfortable looking this stupid, but part of Bey's confidence is why we love her.

"I Won't Let You Go" by OK Go



I'll freely admit that OK Go kind of sucks musically, so I feel like they make all these crazy videos in order to bring attention to themselves. And for sure they're pretty immersive, but the music ends up just oddly accompanying the tracks as white background noise rather than anything I'd be dying to hear on Spotify. "The Writing's on the Wall" is more visually impressive, but "I Won't Let You Go"  is more technically impressive, so we'll go with that. They are really creative when it comes to these videos, just kind of shitty musicians.

"Sweatpants" by Childish Gambino



This was one of my favourite songs of the year and by far the most interesting music video. From its impossible single take aspects to its slow burn intensity shared with absurdity, it's completely engrossing. There's a slowly degrading loop, doppelgangers, and a descent into the self that's rarely seen in such a bumping driving upbeat track like this. Ending with a sharp segue into "Urn" adds to the dreamlike nature of the video and also lets you come down after the mind-tripping intensity of the video piques to match the song's climax. It's awesome.

Albums of the Year:

Rock: Everything Will Be Alright in the End by Weezer.

"Ain't Got Nobody" feels like every song off the Green Album, which just perfectly reassures Weezer faithful this is getting back to their roots. "Back to the Shack" says this much more explicitly. Everything else that follows delivers on that promise as Weezer's blend of ear-friendly punk, pop, and falsetto rock congeal into an album that is surprisingly both familiar and experimental.
Best Tracks: "The British Are Coming," "Cleopatra," and "Foolish Father."
Runner Up: Everyday Robots by Damon Alburn

Pop: St. Vincent by St. Vincent

No, not the Bill Murray movie, as Google seems to always want to direct me to when I search this album. Annie Clark St. Vincent has a lot of hard rock mixed with grungy synth in this breakthrough album. There's a reason why she was the best singer to join with Nirvana for their Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction. She spits that hot fire while the background sounds like Rezopolis. It's such damn good ear candy that feels like David Byrne was put through a glitter freeze blender.
Best Tracks: "Huey Newton," "Bring Me Your Loves," and "Severed Crossed Fingers."
Runner Up: 1989 by Taylor Swift

Hip-Hop: Run the Jewels 2 by Run the Jewels (Killer Mike and El-P)

That first track hits you with the unashamed intensity of a full speed bull and this album never lets up. It's a gothic brutal hip-hop that oozes with awesome beats and epic mastery of the spoken rap. Killer Mike and El-P have never been gods in the rap game, but they support and trade blows with each other like the best in the game. This hasn't really gotten the credit it should have, because the album doesn't contain one radio-friendly track, but if you're in a mood to put a scare into some white people, let this riff for an hour.
Best Tracks: "Blockbuster Night Part 1," "All My Life," and "Love Again."
Runner Up: Oxymoron by Schoolboy Q

Artist of the Year:

This year was a real formative one for many future superstars, among them Sam Smith, Charli XCX, Meghan Trainor, and Ariana Grande. It was also an epic return to relevance for Weird Al, who for one week completely dominated every chart imaginable. Other weird bits of musical dominance came from Movie Soundtracks - last year's Frozen ruled the roost with thirteen total weeks at #1 on the Billboard Top 200 (it was also 2014's highest selling album somehow). Guardians of the Galaxy proved to have an even more incredulous feat, also hitting #1 despite containing no original songs, and no song made after 1979.

Pharrell and Beyoncé also had big years, but that happens all the time with these two. This year's Big Artist, without question, is Iggy Azalea. She had a one-two punch this summer with "Fancy" and "Problem" and then continued slaying it, teaming up with Rita Ora for "Black Widow" and then closed out the year with "Beg For It." It's an exceptional line-up of very popular songs that are actually pretty damn good.

Iggy's a household name now. But will she continue her output or fade in the background? How much did you hear about Macklemore this year? That's what I'm talking about. Macklemore just ran out of songs on The Heist, but I think that Iggy's output can be a bit stronger and we could be talking about her again this time next year. She's a strong enough presence. Who am I kidding, Macklemore is also awesome, who knows what will happen. But at least she can always claim 2014 as her greatest year ever.

So, that's it, folks. Crank up your radios, make sure to catch True Dectective, and have a Happy New Year!

Summer Jam Week 17: The End of Everything That Matters

Oh Labour Day. Such a sad signal that Our Glorious Summer has finally reached its apex, passed, and that it's now time for school, pigskin, turkey, and cider. Everything sucks. Summer, in our reckoning, times out to about seventeen weeks, and so here we are, at the end of All Things. Tomorrow we'll be exploring who Won Summer, but for now, let's recount who's hot one last time:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Anaconda" by Nicki Minaj




I have some mixed feelings about this ass extravaganza (an "asstravaganza," if you will...). First, the track borrows crazy liberally from the landmark ass jam, "Baby Got Back," to the extent that Nicki is basically just rapping straight over the beat. If anyone should have the right to do that, though, it's Nicki, who is the current reigning Ass Queen. And it's sort of empowering in a sense of fighting a battle against skinny bitches that has been raging for centuries. I just get distracted by Nicki using the same intonations she did in "The Creep." Then there's that Drake lap dance. Damn this is a sexy video.

Charles 100: "Boom Clap" by Charlie XCX

Because XCX is one-hundred, right? Some one doesn't understand Roman Numerals. Anyway, "Boom Clap" ended up having a nice little run here and there this summer, even if I personally find the jam a little forgettable outside of the electric exuberation of "BOOM CLAP!" in the chorus. And The Fault in Our Stars (2014) is such an underrated success this summer! Shailene Woodley 4ever.

Sparkle Dangle: "Chandelier" by Sia

Here's another Jam that never quite made it to the top but had a pretty damn good run this summer in and out of this list along with our hearts. I don't think Sia is changing the game or anything, but with a super-crazy fun video and a time-tested technique of adding way more syllables to a word like "chandelier," this was a pretty good Summer Jam Success that hasn't quite gone away yet.

Kunta Kinte: "Break Free" by Ariana Grane ft. Zedd

Ariana Grande continues to prove herself to be one of the more visually uninteresting pop stars while her voice soars to become one of the more audibly intriguing artists out there. She's a walking contradiction! "Problem" rose above a lot of pop drek out there, but "Break Free" is pretty comfortable settling into monotony. It may be that I just really hate carbon copy EDM beats that homogenize pop songs, but this is so damn down the middle that I really can't find a reason to care about it.

Spotty: "Rude" by MAGIC!

Somehow "Rude" ended up with a pretty legitimate run at Iggy's 2014 Summer Dominance, but I think this is the week it finally cracked. I want to save the last couple slots for the new hot jams that will take over Autumn, as any Labour Day should indicate. That being said, "Rude" bows out like it existed all Summer - as a mystifying Canadian Reggae song with so little lyrical coherence that I'm still completely baffled that it was one of the serious contenders for the Summer Jam Throne. I guess it's mostly because it was so easy to yell at any passerby, "WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO RUDE?!" Sticky ideas, people.

Sling Slang: "This Is How We Do" by Katy Perry

Many weeks this Summer had themes, and this could be my unsettled opinion week. Katy Perry songs seem to bounce between the epic flavors of something like "Firework" to really innovative popular jams like "E.T." to more mainstream pop whatevers like "Part of Me." Anyway, when I first saw the video for "This Is How We Do" I thought it was more just another song of hers rather than something that really pushed her career forward in a meaningful way, but I may have just been distracted by the visuals that looked more like a VEVO lyric video than that of one of the world's most successful contemporary music artists. After hearing it on the radio, though, I reappraised it because that beat is actually really damn smooth and chilled. There's also this juxtaposition of its total lyrical appropriation of Black Culture and Katy appearing visually like the whitest poser ever. This is why my feelings towards this right now are "...huh?" I wish this had caught on earlier in Summer so I could dissect it more each week. It's kind of bizarre it didn't because Iggy Azalea seems to be doing just fine injecting her jams full of well-orchestrated and lyrically constructed street slang.

Bass Means Fat: "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor

Now, "Anaconda" be damned, this is the sexiest video on the List this week. Meghan has a crazy amount of confidence behind both her voice and her whole attitude towards our second pro-fat chick track of the week. It's fantastic! And that big Samoan guy needs to totally become the 2014 version of Maria Ratajkowski for all the right reasons. This country really needed a sassy do-wop white chick rap song about sexy fat chicks right now, I love it. It also reminds me of Easter. Or Miami. Something about those pastels make me think of Easter in Miami.

Haters Gon Hate: "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift

I really like Taylor Swift's ability to disown all of her country roots and just bounce around, becoming even more adorable and doofy in the process. Many hate Taylor Swift for these exact reasons but I dunno, I guess I fall for the hapless klutz persona. She just needs some me time. But hey, #1 last week of Summer, that's something.

Next week...

So long, suckers!

Summer Jam Week 13: (Finger) Bang You Into My Life!

August! Nice to see you. We're entering the final month of Summer, folks, and it would appear that the Quest for the Greatest Summer Jam of 2014 is all but wrapped up in a fancy little package. But we're going to continue this masturbatory effort, anyway, because frankly, Summer Jams is why I wake up in the morning. I live and eat this stuff.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Bang Bang" by Jessie J ft. Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj



Here's one thing I really don't understand: this is a dream team of vocal artists right now, but why in a song that features both Ariana and Nicki is Jessie J the most featured voice? That's like a Destiny's Child song featuring Michelle Williams, or if "Moulin Rouge" focused on Maya instead of Christina Aguilera. I'm not trying to hate, but this it's kind of ridiculous that this track isn't able to ride Ariana's "Problem" stardom. This is nitpicky criticism - it's a damn catchy tune, if a little overproduced.

Noventa y Nueve: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

Speaking of Ariana, this is duper low this week because I think this jam has really reached a low point. It's still ubiquitous as hell, but everyone has really stopped caring about it. It'll get to that point where it's really being milked, probably as a featured track in Fall Singing shows like The Voice or something (although can you imagine an amateur singing this? It'd be awful). But yeah, I'm over it.

Make Love to Me: "Come Get it Bae" by Pharrell ft. Miley Cyrus

This has been an underrated jam all summer that sort of blew its wad early then retreated to the background but it's still a pretty sick jam. Pharrell has to try really hard to make a faulty jam right now, but it's Miley's cooing that elevates this one this time around. That and that nippy guitar strum. It really makes me feel like making love, hence its title. It also landed a video this week, so here you go.

Spoof! I mean...POOF! "Rude" by MAGIC!

I was hesitant to include this because I think it really burned out after a couple weeks of being on the Top of the Hot 100, but it's still up there, so oh well. It was like a flash fire though, man - I didn't hear much of it this week, although it's still a good way to respond to anyone being rude "Why you gotta be so rude?!" is a common Summer 2014 phrase. But then the song is about bypassing a girl's father's approval for marriage. That's not rude, it's just forbidding or maybe pretty well founded. I wouldn't want my daughter marrying MAGIC!.

Bam Bam: "Disclosure" by Latch ft. Sam Smith

So this is basically background song week - I haven't really acknowledged this enough yet, but here's Sam Smith's companion jam to "Stay With Me" that's been a bit overshadowed. It's got the thumper beat courtesy of Latch which makes it a pretty rad chill jam. But it's absolutely a background song rather than anything that's going to change your life.

50s Housewife Drunk: "Wasted" by Tiesto ft. Matthew Koma

I can't really stand Tiesto and I have no idea at all what Koma contributes to this jam, but it's another fun song that's lurked more in the shadows this summer. It's pretty straightforward EDM but it's got enough conventional pop beats to cross over into Top 40 airplay, even though "I like us better when we're wasted" is a decently horrible message. I mean, I'm definitely one to get wasted, but I'm not going to be proud of that. damn, Tiesto. What a douchebag.

Be Vewy Quiet, I'm Hunting: "Habits" by Tove Lo

I really dig this jam and I'm going to express that as frequently as possible through this meager weekly rundown. It has a curious little rolling beat, a lonely lyrical quality, and a passionate batch of vocals out of the pipes of Tove Lo. What a wild thing. It's also more of a Sunday morning coming down song than a Saturday night get pumped jam, but Summer needs those, too, folks.

Prancy: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

There's almost no question that "Fancy" is outpacing its sister jam, "Problem" by now. This song has cray cray ubiquity and has proven its cultural influence to be pretty significant. The next few weeks are going to be critical though for its legacy - will it really be forever linked to Summer 2014 on its own or does "Problem" need to be part of that conversation? And is it making Iggy into a star or a novelty act? I'm curious how "Fancy" evolves, but it captures so much attitude that I'm still digging it hard now. Actually this week was the first time I really tried to understand the lyrics (I failed) so that will keep it interesting for a while.

Next week...

I was cautious about leaving out Charlie XCX's "Boom Clap" but I think it may have just had its time in the sun last week. Since we highlighted so many under-the-rug jams this week I also feel bad for leaving out Nicki's "Pills N Potions" which has also been a constant presence this summer but hasn't really made the waves something like "Super Bass" did. And that video is so insane! We'll see who can still fight to the top!

Summer Jam Week 5: High is Better

Things are heating up and we're into the thick of June now, folks. That means it's time again to go over the hottest Summer Jams of the previous week. We've started to settle a little bit, but there is still a lot of exciting things to go. This week we've mostly got a lot of R&B Jams and songs about getting high. It's Summer, babe.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Pills N Potions" by Nicki Minaj



Opening up our Altered States week is the latest jam from Nicki Minaj. Nicki hasn't really put anything out in a while, but this is a nice comeback to her native Summer Jam territory. It's a softer song for her, in line with more "Your Love" or "Right Thru Me" then her crazy "Super Bass" or "Starships". It's always nice to see her taking it down like this and realizing just how talented this girl is. "Pills N Potions" is set to be a great jam, catchy, smooth, and easily listenable. We'll see if it takes off.

Did You Mean Baby: "Come Get It Bae" by Pharrell ft. Miley Cyrus

I don't know what bae is, probably somehow a shortened form of "baby." Pharrell is doing well with this non-"Happy" song and showing he's got another run at a Summer Jam in him after that collabo with Daft Punk last year. Miley is really understated here, which adds to a really fun song in line with just about everything off of GIRL. Not only is this everywhere on the radio but thanks to those incessant Red Bull commercials the energetic little jam is all over television as well.

Late Night Drama: "Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?" by Arctic Monkeys

This came out last summer, but like a lot of slowburning alt rock songs these days, it's only getting a lot of mainstream airplay right now. The video is sort of all over the place, starting with their song "Do I Wanna Know?" then bleeding into a tripped out night of mayhem version of "Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?" It's a pretty competent little jam, even if it doesn't totally endorse its behavior. Arctic Monkeys have been taking off lately, although I think this is still kind of a niche group rather than an epic summer jam factory.

Sexy Crying: "Pretty Hurts" by Beyonce

I always kind of chuckle when artists put out their "inner beauty" whatever songs, like Christina Aguilera did years ago with "Beautiful." Come on, Beyonce, you're one of the most gorgeous women in the world, stop whining. There are some serious issues at work here, though, with the expectation of beauty and the tremendous sacrifice made not only by young girls, but everyone in the face of impossible standards of attraction. The song itself is decent, but I do rather favor Bey belting "RIDE 'IM LIKE A SURFBORT" over what she's going for here vocally.

Psych Out: "I Wanna Get Better" by Bleachers

Bleachers crawl back on to this list after bouncing around a bit, but this is getting a bit of traction. It's a fun song for sure, even if the video takes a while to get going and has too much talking to really be enjoyable. I'm concerned, though that this isn't really the kind of song we're going to adore a year from now. It seems way too much in the moment rather than something really timeless. Either way, it's a fun jam for the Summer of 2014.

Wake and Bake: "Habits (Stay High)" by Tove Lo

I like the potential of this song. It's sweetly toned even if its subject matter of a tortured addiction may be a bit heavy. There's a lot of passion here, though, along with a pretty high degree of catchiness. I doubt this will ever really catch on and explode, but here's my Tove Lo shout-out for the week.

Mo Money: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

Has anyone noticed that the cadence of Iggy's verse seems a lot like what Nicki Minaj threw down in Diddy's "Hello, Good Morning" a while back? Maybe it's just me. This really has Summer Jam all over it, from Ariana hitting the ground running hard to the cool coos of the whispering chorus, along with the defiant break-up happy content of the lyrics. It's really hot but I think just not quite at superstar status yet. Wait a bit.

Dolled Up: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

I gave "Fancy" the edge this week, it seemed like it had a little bit more airplay. This song is a giant, although to be honest, it's not completely dominating like previous Summer Jams or even crazy Winter Jams like "Happy" was a few months ago. It also may be cresting that annoyance barrier where the novelty of its freshness starts declining. I think our ultimate Jam starling is still out there somewhere...

Next week...

I'm curious about some artists coming up like Sevyn Streeter, Bear Hands, and Bastille, along with some time honored favorites like Coldplay and Beyonce that keep cranking out potential hits. Like I said, though, no one song is completely dominating or set-up for absolute success quite yet. This middle part of June, though is when we saw crazy crazy Summer Jams like "California Gurls" and "Blurred Lines" debut, so grip your seats tight - we're just getting warmed up.

2012: Music in the Final Year of Our Existence

Welcome everyone, to the Season of Top-Ten Year Ending Lists - that special time of year where we all reminisce about the greatest moments in pop culture from the preceding year. What will follow over the next few weeks are a series of Time Capsule-style posts more than anything. We here at NMW are not as interested in assigning bits of media to arbitrary, opinion-driven lists as we are in initiating a discussion of the year as a mechanism to assess where we stand culturally, as well as to highlight some great moments you may have missed this year. We're also interested in things like Nicki Minaj's big fat ass, though, so you know, there's a bit of balance to attain here.

Artists of the Year:

This is a tough call. Last year was clearly the Year of Adele, but it's a bit more muddled in 2012. We can give it to new artists like Gotye and Carly Rae Jepsen who had massive sudden singles fueled by music videos gone viral, but just one big hit isn't really enough to call someone the Artist of the Year (looking at you, too, Psy). There were a lot of other really great works put out by fresh new voices like Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar, Alabama Shakes, and the Lumineers, and they'll get their due but none of these were also overpowering enough to earn this fabled title. We could consider fun., who just ruled the charts and zeitgeist this year, but their poor grammar and the imposing line they strut between drunken irreverence and youthful self-importance is far too infuriating. All of these brand spanking new artists, though, ought to be significant.

We'll give Artist of the Year, however, (yes, in 2012) to Bruce Springsteen. The Boss came back in a big way this year, dropping an excellent album in Wrecking Ball, and performing more shows than most people half his age. He was a total pro this year, with a ridiculous output of music and a crushing schedule. He really picked it up this past fall where he campaigned for Obama, who used some of his tracks for his campaign, and then performed many charity concerts for Hurricane Sandy Relief that decimated his home state of Jersey, including Hurricane Sandy: Coming Together on November 2nd and 12-12-12: The Concert for Sandy Relief in December. The man served as not only a musician but a rallying point for some of the biggest events of 2012 and in the process showed what music can really do to a nation, or at least to a region when he never gave up his blue collar Jersey roots.

Albums of the Year:

There are really only five albums that matter this year, all in different genres. We'll talk a bit about all of them to appease a wide variety of people - after all, it's tough to definitively list one over the other (for us personally, it's Frank Ocean). For an update in classic rock we had the pleasure of listening to the aforementioned Wrecking Ball by Bruce, a revitalization of his classicism set against a new age. Sticking with rock, we also received Jack White's Blunderbuss, where he really showed what ditching your drummer sister can do for a career - suddenly becoming one of the more relevant names in rock for the year.

For pop starlets we need only look to Taylor Swift's Red. In a single sweep she moved on from country-pop to pop-country and gained even more likeability and mainstream appeal. In her maturity she really became one of the biggest stars in the year. Neither her predictable her lyrical content or the enraging of her diehard country fans could stop it.

Hip-hop boils down to B.o.B's Strange Clouds and Frank Ocean's channel ORANGE. B.o.B really slipped under the radar this spring but swaggers between big rap beats and smoother emotional high points along with some killer and surprising collabos. But really, this is Frank's year, as his album redefined what hip-hop could be and do through falsetto, sweeping synth beats, and a new distinctive voice and style punctuated by juxtaposition of characters, sound effects, and a rambling, driving train of thought set to a beat. It also helped that he had one of the best SNL performances of the year (when you're trumped only by Mick Jagger, that's not a bad thing)


Videos of the Year:

This was really only ever between two, but I'll throw in the mesmerizing effect of Ellie Goulding's "Anything Could Happen)" which assaults both the eye and year with an ethereal series of bright overlaid images to match the floaty beat and silky smooth vocals both rising to an overjoyous frenzy towards its conclusion.

But really, this year is between Gotye's smash "Somebody that I Used to Know" and Delta Rae's "Bottom of the River." Gotye became a YouTube star with this heavily symbolic video that was unique and new, which is all it took for 360 million people to perk up and watch on the video-sharing website. Gotye paints a tortured relationship story through his lyrics then abstracts the feelings and commitment of both himself and his GF (played here by the singer who joins him, Kimbra) through literally painting confusion onto their bodies and then retreating the paint on Kimbra as she frees herself from the overwhelming density of their relationshit. It's brilliant. It's also everyone's dream of seeing Sting and Katy Perry sing together naked.

BUT we like "Bottom of the River" much better. Take a gander:



In about two minutes the ensemble band devises a short witch-hunt story. It's incredible due the simplicity with which it tells its tale as well as the switch from victim to aggressor by singer, Brittany Hölljes (almost imperceptible, I'm pegging it somewhere around the 1:15 mark). Note the subtle foreshadowing of her image in the mirror at the beginning and then the impressive single-take shot through the simple farm set that nevertheless expresses the misgivings, power, and conflict between the two parties of apparently humans and witches / demons. It's a very cool video, supported by the vocals (Brittany's belts at 1:47 still give me chills as her crazy eyes open wide). It's sexy, scary, and the best vid of the year.

Singles of the Year:

Finally, here's a nice big list in chronological order of our favourite and biggest singles of the year for you all to enjoy 2012 the right way:

"What Doesn't Kill You" by Kelly Clarkson
"Somebody That I used to Know" by Gotye
"Turn Me On" by Nicki Minaj
"Some Nights" by fun.
"Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men
"Tonight is the Night" by Outasight
"Starships" by Nicki Minaj
"Wild Ones" by Flo Rida
"Simple Song" by the Shins
"Brokenhearted" by Karmin
"Comeback Kid" by Sleigh Bells
"Bangarang" by Skrillex
"In My Trunk" by Dev
"Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen
"Tongue Tied" by Grouplove
"Till I Die" by Wiz Khalifa, Chris Brown, and Big Sean
"Run" by Flo Rida and Red Foo
"Wide Awake" by Katy Perry
"Payphone" by Maroon 5
"Hold On" by Alabama Shakes
"Ray Bands" by B.o.B
"Want You Back" by Cher Lloyd
"Ho Hey" by the Lumineers
"Settle Down" by No Doubt
"Madness" by Muse
"Gangnam Style" by Psy
"Mercy" by Kanye
"Too Close" by Alex Clare
"Thinking of You" by Frank Ocean
"Your Body" by Christina Aguilera - really just for her plus-size boobs
"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" by Taylor Swift
"We Take Care of Our Own" by Bruce Springsteen
"Girl on Fire" by Alicia Keys
"Bottom of the River" by Delta Rae
"Die Young" by Ke$ha
"Locked out of Heaven" by Bruno Mars
"All Night Longer" by Sammy Adams
"Va Va Voom" by Nicki Minaj
"Anything Can Happen" by Ellie Goulding
"Home" by Phillip Phillips
"Diamonds" by Rihanna
"Cut Me Some Slack" by Paul McCartney + the Surviving Members of Nirvana
"Clique" by Kanye
"Scream and Shout" by will.i.am and Britney Spears

Ultimately, this was a pretty wacky year. Then again, it always is in the world of music. There were a lot of nice comebacks, some great new artists, many more terrible new artists, and a chubby little Korean who won all our hearts. Bring it on, 2013!! We'll leave you with a little Earworm: