Summer Jam 2014: SUMMER IS DEAD! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!

Here we are again, old friends - September rolls in like a lion as August bows like a tiger. With Labour Day passed and the Season of Sun officially behind us, it's time to countdown the Top Hottest Jams of the Summer, and finally, crown one ultimate winner that will have bragging rights over cognitive recollection for all eternity. All Summer long we've recounted the hottest jams each and every week, and in that time, we've managed to discuss a whopping sixty-four different songs. That's kind of nutty. But there's not room for everyone this summer, and before we count down our final Top Eight Jams, let's take a moment to recognize those that were just okay:

"Tennis Court" by Lorde
"Shower" by Becky G
"Maps" by Maroon 5
"Break Free" by Ariana Grande ft. Zedd
"Come Get It Bae" by Pharrell ft. Miley Cyrus

"Back to the Shack" by Weezer

"Pills N Potions" by Nicki Minaj

"Ain't it Fun" by Paramore

"La La La" by Naughty Boy ft. Sam Smith

"Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift

"All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor

"Latch" by Disclosure ft. Sam Smith
"Digital Witness" by St. Vincent
"Habits" by Tove Lo
"Summer" by Calvin Harris

So now, let us dig into the Top Eight Greatest Jams of Summer, ranked in order of seasonal ubiquity:

Fart Noises: "Boom Clap" by Charli XCX



Weeks on Jam List: 4 (07/28, 08/11, 08/25 - 09/01)
Peak Position: #2 on 07/28

"Boom Clap" debuted pretty early in the Summer Season, originally to accompany the soundtrack for the sappy cancer film, The Fault in Our Stars (2014). The film did pretty well, but not many payed attention to the jam until later in the season, where it hung around without ever really dominating anything. It's notable for being the first real mainstream solo outing for Charli XCX who had previously lent her jaded vocals to hooks for Icona Pop's "I Love It" and this year's megajam, "Fancy" with Iggy Azalea. "Boom Clap" never really rose above the entry stage, possibly because Charli XCX on her own isn't much more than a discount Lorde.

Colossal Ass Salute: "Wiggle" by Jason Derulo ft. Snoop Dogg



Weeks on Jam List: 4 (06/23, 07/07 - 07/14, 07/28)
Peak Position: #2 on 07/07

While it's always nice to see Snoop Dogg back on a Summer Jam song, this track is pretty terrible in every way. Except for how fun it is to insert "WIGGO WIGGO WIGGO!!" into every day activities like putting on shoes or trying to get out of a chair. It definitely had some solid cultural penetration this summer thanks to its catchiness, but never really caught on too crazily. Towards the middle of the season it seemed like it was coming close to reaching peak saturation, but it then faded even if its verbage remained in the cultural discourse.

Wedding Wonderlands: "All of Me" by John Legend



Weeks on Jam List: 3 (05/12 - 05/26)
Peak Position: #1 on 05/12 and 05/19

"All of Me" wasn't really a tremendous Summer Jam in longevity - it peaked crazily early in May, but for those first few weeks it dominated the List with no one else even really close to threatening it. Then Summer picked up and it fell by the wayside. It's an alright, if not sort of confounded song, even if its ostensibly a love jam. Nothing about it is really epic enough or fun enough to make for a truly great Summer Jam. But still, it earns its place here by breaking us into the Summer before everyone else felt like getting going.

Swing Baby Swing! "Chandelier" by Sia



Weeks on Jam List: 6 (06/02, 06/23, 07/07, 07/21, 08/11, 09/01)
Peak Position: #2 on 07/21

Jeez, looking back on it this jam was everywhere, eh? From early June to early September we found an excuse to listen to this delectable track and watch the super-crazy energy video attached to it. I think it was sometime around late July where suddenly everyone knew all the lyrics to this one, and as Rihanna's "Umbrella" can tell us, adding extra syllables to multi-syllabic words is always a good thing. Sia has done better, but not more popular. This jam spent no consecutive week on the Jam List, which considering its longevity may be more an indication of its cultural penetration than not.

One Night Stand Antithesis: "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith



Weeks on Jam List: 7 (06/23 - 07/14, 07/28, 08/11, 08/25)
Peak Position: #3 on 06/23 and 08/25

This was the kind of song I wrote off at first as banal pop but damn if it doesn't grow on you. Sam's got the most passionate set of pipes on this list and the slow building beat fits the mood of this jam perfectly. It was another track that never really dominated this summer, peaking at #3, but it straddled the Season's Midpoint for four consecutive weeks and then flirted here and there for the remainder of August. Sam Smith also lent a voice to a few reject Jams listed above and did as fine a job of launching himself into the National Consciousness as anyone else here. Except probably Iggy.

It Makes No Sense! "Rude" by MAGIC!



Weeks on Jam List: 9 (07/07 - 09/01)
Peak Position: #1 from 07/14 - 07/21 and from 08/11 - 08/25

This was a very serious contender for the Upset Special award this Season, as it debuted in early July and NEVER AGAIN fell off the Jam List. It spent five weeks at #1, trying one other song for lead at that position, and dominating August in the process. It also never fell further than the #5 position. All this from a white Canadian reggae band with borderline insulting lyrics that make no sense and only lead to frustration. I really hated this song but its crazy catchiness and applicability to any life situation (You won't share your tater tots? Why you gotta be so rude?!) made it an instant classic. I think we'll forget it by Halloween.

Head in the Clouds: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea



Weeks on Jam List: 12 (05/19, 06/02 - 08/04, 08/18)
Peak Position: #1 on 06/02 and from 06/16 - 07/07

What more can I say about this one? It spent ten consecutive weeks on the Jam List and five weeks at #1, tied for the most of any song. It also spent four consecutive weeks at #1 in the peak of Summer. It was awe-inspiring. This has been a remarkable Summer for new acts - who is the most established artist here besides the small inclusion of Snoop Dogg? John Legend maybe? Ariana Grande has had some success on radio and television prior to this, but now she's a household name. That's all kind of bizarre, though, because she's an incredibly boring artist. I wish I could stand there looking cute and shaking awkwardly while my voice soars like Black Bolt, making millions of dollars. I can't even watch the video. The jam's audial fun, fast-paced, and high spirited nature is a terrible contrast to its visual laziness. The big question now is whether or not Ariana will last, and more importantly, which of these Iggy Azalea tracks will be remembered come 2015.

QUEEN IG: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX



Weeks on Jam List: 13 (05/12, 05/26 - 08/11)
Peak Position: #1 on 05/26, 06/09, and from 07/28 - 08/04

It was a bit of a tough call deciding between this and "Problem," but ultimately, "Fancy" just remained hotter a bit longer. While it had one less first place finish, and wasn't nearly as streaky, its seven second-place finishes and never falling lower than fourth (on only two occasions) put it over the edge. The relationship between these two songs was awesome. There were only two weeks that neither song was on the List (the last two), two weeks where "Problem" was featured where "Fancy" was not, and only one week where "Fancy" made an appearance where "Problem" did not. For five straight weeks at the Apex of Summer these two songs dueled for first and second place, and at least one of them was in the top two for all but four weeks. It's unlike anything I've ever seen before.

I always doubted "Fancy." I thought it was too much of a niche song or a placeholder song until something really big and game-changing came along. It took me too long to realize that "Fancy" was that game-changer, that Iggy, who had only really been known for "Work," and who was this bizarre gangsta-rap emulating Australian white chick that seemed too intense and obscure for mainstream popularity, was an epic national force to be reckoned with. I'm infinitely curious about what Azalea can do next now that her unique style has been accepted by the masses. Will she be corrupted and sell out and compromise her renegade attitude? Will she stay true to her gansta-ism and continue making bucks by the acceptance that the thing that makes her special is her outsider-ness? We'll have to wait and see if we're going to have this conversation again next year.

For as diverse and new this Summer was, three artists had a voice on three of the top eight songs, and the whole season basically came down to dueling Iggy's. It's pretty wild, but then again, it always is. So, we are now able to officially crown Iggy and place "Fancy" among the pantheon of Summer Jams. I have only really been keeping track since 2007, so here we go:

2007: "Umberella" by Rihanna
2008: "Bleeding in Love" by Leona Lewis
2009: "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas
2010: "California Gurls" by Katy Perry
2011: "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO
2012: "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen
2013: "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I.
2014: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

Holy Damn, "Fancy" might be the best of that lot. Look at how awful this list is! Actually I can't believe the high quantity of grammar and spelling errors here as well. For some reason I never really noticed that "I Gotta Feeling" doesn't really make sense - is it "gotta" like "I gotta go to the bank today?" That is, is it more like "I have to feeling"? Ugh, it's horrible. And no one cares about "Party Rock Anthem" or "Call Me Maybe" a few years removed. And "Blurred Lines" is still one of the greatest mainstream cultural blows against women ever.

So that's it. Summer 2014 is officially behind us. What will next year bring? If this year is any indication, I have no idea.

G'night, folks!

Summer Jam Week 17: The End of Everything That Matters

Oh Labour Day. Such a sad signal that Our Glorious Summer has finally reached its apex, passed, and that it's now time for school, pigskin, turkey, and cider. Everything sucks. Summer, in our reckoning, times out to about seventeen weeks, and so here we are, at the end of All Things. Tomorrow we'll be exploring who Won Summer, but for now, let's recount who's hot one last time:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Anaconda" by Nicki Minaj




I have some mixed feelings about this ass extravaganza (an "asstravaganza," if you will...). First, the track borrows crazy liberally from the landmark ass jam, "Baby Got Back," to the extent that Nicki is basically just rapping straight over the beat. If anyone should have the right to do that, though, it's Nicki, who is the current reigning Ass Queen. And it's sort of empowering in a sense of fighting a battle against skinny bitches that has been raging for centuries. I just get distracted by Nicki using the same intonations she did in "The Creep." Then there's that Drake lap dance. Damn this is a sexy video.

Charles 100: "Boom Clap" by Charlie XCX

Because XCX is one-hundred, right? Some one doesn't understand Roman Numerals. Anyway, "Boom Clap" ended up having a nice little run here and there this summer, even if I personally find the jam a little forgettable outside of the electric exuberation of "BOOM CLAP!" in the chorus. And The Fault in Our Stars (2014) is such an underrated success this summer! Shailene Woodley 4ever.

Sparkle Dangle: "Chandelier" by Sia

Here's another Jam that never quite made it to the top but had a pretty damn good run this summer in and out of this list along with our hearts. I don't think Sia is changing the game or anything, but with a super-crazy fun video and a time-tested technique of adding way more syllables to a word like "chandelier," this was a pretty good Summer Jam Success that hasn't quite gone away yet.

Kunta Kinte: "Break Free" by Ariana Grane ft. Zedd

Ariana Grande continues to prove herself to be one of the more visually uninteresting pop stars while her voice soars to become one of the more audibly intriguing artists out there. She's a walking contradiction! "Problem" rose above a lot of pop drek out there, but "Break Free" is pretty comfortable settling into monotony. It may be that I just really hate carbon copy EDM beats that homogenize pop songs, but this is so damn down the middle that I really can't find a reason to care about it.

Spotty: "Rude" by MAGIC!

Somehow "Rude" ended up with a pretty legitimate run at Iggy's 2014 Summer Dominance, but I think this is the week it finally cracked. I want to save the last couple slots for the new hot jams that will take over Autumn, as any Labour Day should indicate. That being said, "Rude" bows out like it existed all Summer - as a mystifying Canadian Reggae song with so little lyrical coherence that I'm still completely baffled that it was one of the serious contenders for the Summer Jam Throne. I guess it's mostly because it was so easy to yell at any passerby, "WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO RUDE?!" Sticky ideas, people.

Sling Slang: "This Is How We Do" by Katy Perry

Many weeks this Summer had themes, and this could be my unsettled opinion week. Katy Perry songs seem to bounce between the epic flavors of something like "Firework" to really innovative popular jams like "E.T." to more mainstream pop whatevers like "Part of Me." Anyway, when I first saw the video for "This Is How We Do" I thought it was more just another song of hers rather than something that really pushed her career forward in a meaningful way, but I may have just been distracted by the visuals that looked more like a VEVO lyric video than that of one of the world's most successful contemporary music artists. After hearing it on the radio, though, I reappraised it because that beat is actually really damn smooth and chilled. There's also this juxtaposition of its total lyrical appropriation of Black Culture and Katy appearing visually like the whitest poser ever. This is why my feelings towards this right now are "...huh?" I wish this had caught on earlier in Summer so I could dissect it more each week. It's kind of bizarre it didn't because Iggy Azalea seems to be doing just fine injecting her jams full of well-orchestrated and lyrically constructed street slang.

Bass Means Fat: "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor

Now, "Anaconda" be damned, this is the sexiest video on the List this week. Meghan has a crazy amount of confidence behind both her voice and her whole attitude towards our second pro-fat chick track of the week. It's fantastic! And that big Samoan guy needs to totally become the 2014 version of Maria Ratajkowski for all the right reasons. This country really needed a sassy do-wop white chick rap song about sexy fat chicks right now, I love it. It also reminds me of Easter. Or Miami. Something about those pastels make me think of Easter in Miami.

Haters Gon Hate: "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift

I really like Taylor Swift's ability to disown all of her country roots and just bounce around, becoming even more adorable and doofy in the process. Many hate Taylor Swift for these exact reasons but I dunno, I guess I fall for the hapless klutz persona. She just needs some me time. But hey, #1 last week of Summer, that's something.

Next week...

So long, suckers!

Summer Jam Week 16: Taylor Swings! Misses!

Have you everything ready for fall? School supplies? Work...supplies? This week sort of sucks - it's about the last gasp of Sunshine we're going to get before all shit gets run into the hellish maelstrom of Autumn. Fuckin shit. Sorry to get so angry, but I just depressed myself. At least the Summer Jam is nearly over so we can toss a coin to decide which Iggy Azalea song won.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift



Is this it? The final moment were Taylor shakes off the last remaining remnants of her country-ness and allows herself to be completely absorbed by pop music, instead? I actually first heard this maybe last week or something, and totes didn't even realize this was Swift until this very moment when I looked up who the hell sang this for the List this week. Therein lies an interesting inherent conundrum - is this gamble going to truly bring Swift into the mainstream pop world or will it alienate enough of her country-loving fans to prove her doom? Also, didn't she get her start singing about not being the popular cheerleader?

The Poor Girl's Jhene: "2 on" by Tinashe ft. SchoolBoy Q

I probably give Tinashe more crap than I should just because there seems to be this influx of cooing babyvoiced R&B singers lately, and she's just on the tail end of that upsurge - but damn if this isn't a really damn sexy song. There's a bit of an edge to her soft brays here that make this super-listenable and a really righteous Summer Jam. I don't think this is winning Summer anytime soon, but I may list it as one of my favorite jams of the year come December.

Fart Noises: "Boom Clap" by Charli XCX

The hook really saves this otherwise pretty boring pop exercise and there's nothing else really notable about this jam. I wonder what else Charli XCX has in her, because right now she's basically proven herself to be an exceptional chorus singer but there's something lacking in substance elsewhere here. I don't mean to shit all over Charli XCX, but I'm just unimpressed with this song in contrast to her talent.

Gone Fishin': "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor

How had I never heard this track before this week? This is fantastic! The beat! That swagger! I love that chunky sassy white chicks like this can launch jams like this and get 27 million YouTube views and soar to #2 on the Billboard Hot 100. America! The "love yourself, you're beautiful you fat goddess!" message is a little on the nose and appears immediately defensive. It also seems like an old message if not for the fact that nothing in pop culture's attitudes towards women has really changed at all since something like Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful." But yeah, this song rules.

To the Woods: "Back to the Shack" by Weezer

This jam is starting to hit me more and more as a pretty solid track and not just a re-tread of '94 Weezer. It's at once this call for simplicity, to turn up the radio and turn down reality singing shows. It even has a bit of admission to the necessity of making mistakes to foster character growth. All this is wrapped up in a really lively package that is probably one of the funner tracks of Summer 2014's Rock Scene. If only we had a bit more Days of Sunshine left.

Right Here: "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith

I really dig this song, even if it's really just for that throbbing building beat and the gorgeous tenebrity of Smith's voice. The lyrics themselves aren't really sophisticated or insightful, although there is certainly a pitched emotion and fearlessness to their simplicity. I think that Smith can keep proving himself to become a pretty good presence in pop music, and we'll all be able to say "Summer 2014! I was there, man!" Who cares.

Completely Without Flaw: "Flawless" by Beyonce

I featured here the Nicki Minaj remix, which is pretty solid. It's not even fair for every other artist out there when Bey really brings her A-material like this, although it seems like hubby Jay's ego is rubbing off on her. Doesn't this sound like Jay-Z Watch the Throne lyrics sung by a pop goddess? It'd be easier to hate on Queen B if she was wrong at all.

Sawing Ears in Half: "Rude" by MAGIC!

I think I've run out of things to say about this song. I don't like it. The reggae doesn't work. The lyrics don't work. It's really popular because it can earworm its way into everyday life with exceptional ease. It's also making the best case for Song of the Summer right now with a late run that could possibly upset either "Fancy" or "Problem." Not entirely likely, but hey - magic.

Next week...

I like Sam Smith's other track, "I'm Not the Only One," although that may be fueled more by my severe crush on Diana Aggron. Other than that, we've only got one more week of Summer Jams to go - can MAGIC! take one more swing at Iggy Azalea and strive for relevance? Stay tuned for one more exciting rendition of Summer Jams, folks! It's gonna be hot!

Summer Jam Week 15: Coldplay and Maroon 5 Get Rude

By gum it's almost the end of August, folks. Mid-August is this weird time of the season - it's essentially the last gasp you can take before taking the plunge into Fall, which usually means buckling down for school, winter, responsibilities, family, and personal and professional growth. It's terrible. It makes me really depressed talking about it, actually. Let's spend another week partying in the either before we start really talking about that crap. Anyway - here are your winners this week:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Seen It All" by Jeezy ft. Jay-Z



Jay sort of legitimizes this track like he could do with any track these days, but Jeezy actually holds his own, and the beat is ethereal, flighty, and cool while retaining a nice edge to it. No Hot Jam is going to dominate Summer at this point, and I can't imagine that this song really fights its way into cultural relevancy outside specific hip-hop fans right now, but that's okay, because I'm one of those specific fans and I dig this jam.

Cartography: "Maps" by Maroon 5

This video came out a while ago I guess, but I saw it for the first time this week - and OH SHIT IT'S CRAY CRAY! What is going on here? Maroon 5 I feel always tries to be the biggest band in the world, but it tends to come up short time and time again. "Maps" is a bit of a middle of the road song for them. Opinion is personal, of course, but as far as my ears can handle it, Maroon 5's usual output ranges from smooth and awesome to grating. I never thought "Maps" was very special, but it has had a nice run this summer that I have never talked about, so acknowledging that here.

Constellate: "A Sky Full of Stars" by Coldplay

I'd say that everything I just said about "Maps" could apply here, actually. "A Sky Full of Stars" (wouldn't dropping that indefinite article make the song a bit cleaner? "Sky Full of Stars?" What do I know?). I though Coldplay bounced with Myolo Xyoloto (2011) or whatever they had, anyway? But yeah, there are Coldplay fans out there somehow who dig this kind of Grade-A Wuss Rock (which I really mean more in a descriptive sense than a pejorative sense. Seriously!), and this jam has been there this summer. Acknowledged.

Weezy Degrassi: "Believe Me" by Lil Wayne ft. Drake

This is more what I was doing back in May where I cared less about what was actually hot or popular but I just wanted to express the kind of jams that I was digging that week. This is it, son. Actually, this sounds more like both Weezy and Drake are sleepwalking and both have been sharper in the past. Like I said, I'm listening to this track this week, but I can't speak for next week. Yes I can - more Jeezy less Weezy.

Bronytails and Prollems: "Problem" by Ariana Grane ft. Iggy Azalea

What?! I thought this was done for? Well, one last gasp that may send it above "Fancy," who is conspicuously absent this week for the first time all summer. It's a staggering prospect, I know, folks. But I heard "Problem" a bit more this week, signifying that it's not quite dead yet. Or at least clinging to some kind of relevancy. I'm infinitely curious which jam we'll be more inclined to listen to ten years from now in nostalgia, and I think the edge of "Fancy" will get it over the edge, but you never know with these things. Actually I'm sort of glad I didn't have to listen to "Fancy" again for this column. I spent fourteen damn weeks listening to that song.

The Devil's Side: "Left Hand Free" by alt-J

I heard this jam on the radio this week and really dug it, and then I looked up the video, and it had come out recently, so I was pumped, because I liked that "Breezeblocks"-whatever song alt-J did, but I don't know much else about them, except for the singer's goofy high-pitched but somehow still raspy voice, and the fact that they possessed one of the more annoying band names since fun. But then all these die-hard alt-J fans (apparently) in the comments talk about how much this song sucks and how it doesn't sound like normal alt-J jams and it was all made just to make "money" for some corporate-grubbing studio and it is supposed to be a parody and all that because "mainstream" American couldn't take "Hunger of the Pine." Well, I can't really speak to any of that (except for the fact that yes, all of these songs were released to make money), but I like "Left Hand Free" a bit better. I guess I'm a sellout corporate wannabe. Shit.

Velcro: "Latch" by Disclosure ft. Sam Smith

I have honestly done this a few weeks in a row, I keep looking up a band called Latch with the song "Disclosure" and getting it all backwards. I guess it's because both the words latch and disclosure would make both good band names and good song names and there's not really a decipherable meaning to the title "Latch" than I can gleam from my half-assed focus on this track after sort of getting into the beat and Smith's pipes on the radio. It's a cool jam, though and is making a nice little late-season run at things.

Reggae for White People: "Rude" by MAGIC!

I really hate this song, but it's getting its share of cultural life, from the response from the supposed father the song is addressing to a general debate as to whether or not it's even culturally appropriate to ask a father for the permission to marry a daughter or if women can decide for themselves who the hell they want to marry. I don't have the answers here, but I still think no matter what you believe, "rude" is still a weird accusation to make. It's not like the dad farted during church or made an off-colour comment in front of people he just met to be so rude. It's there, it sucks, I don't know, deal with it.

Next week...

We're almost at our finale folks, which is weird and terrifying to me. I left off "Fancy," which could certainly come back, but other than that I think we've bridged an important hump into fall - certainly Calvin Harris or Jason Derulo or Sia we won't be seeing again here. I did really want to include Weezer's "Back to the Shack," which I think is a really interesting song. Next week. Stay tuned, folks!

Summer Jam Week 14: We Got Everything

Mid-August, folks. That's sort of terrifying. We only have a few more weeks of this, folks, and right now it doesn't look like we have any competition at all. That's okay, because we jam on like the true pop/rock/country/hip-hop/reggae fusion enthusiasts that we are. right? Commence.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Break Free" by Ariana Grande ft. Zedd



This ought to get its own video pretty soon, but for now here's the audio of this largely by the numbers electro-pop song. Ariana exploded this summer, and Zedd should be familiar to lovers of last year's "Clarity" collabo with Foxes. "Break Free" is a bit less than the sum of its parts and ends up being fantastically uninteresting. Late Summer surge for an artist who has already had a pretty great summer? I don't really think so.

Fart Sounds: "Boom Clap" by Charlie XCX

Last week this song went nuts, which died down quite a bit this time around. It's still hanging out there, though and I'm really torn whether or not it's actually a good pop song. I think Charlie XCX is better for hooks rather than carrying her own jam, and sure enough here the chorus is what kills it, not any of the verses. The frantic urge of "BOOM! CLAP!" is epic, everything else is kind of dopey.

The First Syllable in Country: "This is How We Roll" by Florida Georgia Line ft. Luke Bryan

I really didn't know there were different kinds of country. Apparently there's pop-country, twang country, and this sort of R&B infused Florida Georgia Line-style among others. It's all pretty foreign to me, I usually stop at Johnny Cash and when the mood strikes, Garth Brooks' "Low Places." But Florida Georgia Line does seem to strike this balance of those old crooner saloon songs and the big stadium energy of modern country. It would all be fascinating to me if it didn't make my ears bleed. I really sound like a hater right now, but I still put it on the list, so step off.

Two-Night Stand: "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith

Sam continues his awesome assault on our ears this week although I'd consider "Stay With Me" to be remarkably less fresh than it was when it first dropped. That's the nature of any jam, though, and even though in my mind I sort of begrudgingly included it this week after not really noticing it that much, those first few bars hit me again and helped me realise how powerful a track it really is. It can and will very likely stay as long as it wants.

Dylan: "Studio" by SchoolBoy Q ft. BJ the Chicago Kid

I really need to dig on more jams by SchoolBoy Q because he's really getting to be one of the better up and coming rappers out there. This track has Kanye-style vocal overdubs along with a chill hook and a legit summer rhythm. Dylan is of course, each of the five greatest rappers of all time. That was the best rap studio joke I could come up with.

Shinin: "Chandelier" by Sia

Actually, by this point we have to consider this to be a fairly serious Jam contender. Somehow this little track sneaks its way onto our list here, and it has consistently outlasted much headier competition this summer. I don't think anyone's going to remember it by Halloween (I heard "Written in the Stars" by Tinie Tempah the other day - I really had to look up why the hell that song sounded familiar. That's my prediction for this - in 2017 it'll be like "Why do I know this song?" rather than "Yes! Sia!"). Prove me wrong, kids.

Ass Quakes: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

Iggy gets the number two spot this week, but "Fancy" isn't going anywhere. There's almost no way it doesn't grab the Summer Crown this year and has yet to spend a week off this list. That's really unheard of around these parts, but it will hit 200 million YouTube views by next week and has really penetrated every aspect of American culture. It's the only jam this Summer that can really claim such feats.

The Cards Don't Lie: "Rude" by MAGIC!

I like that we live in a day and age where a reggae song crooned by white Canadians tops the Hot 100 and a Weird Al album tops the Billboard 200. I haven't dug enough into this jam's reggae nature. Even though it is, by technical aspects a reggae song based on its instrumentation, it really doesn't feel like a classic Peter Tosh or Snoop Lion jam (...). Maybe it's because I consider that Caribbean patois to be essential to reggae. But is it? Thanks, MAGIC! for throwing everything I thought I knew about reggae into question. If "Rude" wasn't so stupid I may put more thought into how we classify these things. Till then, pass the dutchie and I'll just move on with my life.

Next week...

It was pretty hard to not include some old 70s hits this week that have gained popularity in the wake of appearing on the Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) soundtrack. Awesome Mix Tape Vol. 1 has had that much cultural influence - but do we pick "Come and Get Your Love", "Hooked on a Feeling", or "O-o-oh Child"? It's way to hard. And crazy. But these are great tracks. How about the whole album? Or how about the mere fact that we're even talking about a movie soundtrack album at all, much less one that features forty-year old songs? It's an incredible feat. I wonder if Beta Ray Bill 3: Korbinites on Patrol (2042) will feature "classic" Iggy Azalea jams.

Summer Jam Week 13: (Finger) Bang You Into My Life!

August! Nice to see you. We're entering the final month of Summer, folks, and it would appear that the Quest for the Greatest Summer Jam of 2014 is all but wrapped up in a fancy little package. But we're going to continue this masturbatory effort, anyway, because frankly, Summer Jams is why I wake up in the morning. I live and eat this stuff.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Bang Bang" by Jessie J ft. Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj



Here's one thing I really don't understand: this is a dream team of vocal artists right now, but why in a song that features both Ariana and Nicki is Jessie J the most featured voice? That's like a Destiny's Child song featuring Michelle Williams, or if "Moulin Rouge" focused on Maya instead of Christina Aguilera. I'm not trying to hate, but this it's kind of ridiculous that this track isn't able to ride Ariana's "Problem" stardom. This is nitpicky criticism - it's a damn catchy tune, if a little overproduced.

Noventa y Nueve: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

Speaking of Ariana, this is duper low this week because I think this jam has really reached a low point. It's still ubiquitous as hell, but everyone has really stopped caring about it. It'll get to that point where it's really being milked, probably as a featured track in Fall Singing shows like The Voice or something (although can you imagine an amateur singing this? It'd be awful). But yeah, I'm over it.

Make Love to Me: "Come Get it Bae" by Pharrell ft. Miley Cyrus

This has been an underrated jam all summer that sort of blew its wad early then retreated to the background but it's still a pretty sick jam. Pharrell has to try really hard to make a faulty jam right now, but it's Miley's cooing that elevates this one this time around. That and that nippy guitar strum. It really makes me feel like making love, hence its title. It also landed a video this week, so here you go.

Spoof! I mean...POOF! "Rude" by MAGIC!

I was hesitant to include this because I think it really burned out after a couple weeks of being on the Top of the Hot 100, but it's still up there, so oh well. It was like a flash fire though, man - I didn't hear much of it this week, although it's still a good way to respond to anyone being rude "Why you gotta be so rude?!" is a common Summer 2014 phrase. But then the song is about bypassing a girl's father's approval for marriage. That's not rude, it's just forbidding or maybe pretty well founded. I wouldn't want my daughter marrying MAGIC!.

Bam Bam: "Disclosure" by Latch ft. Sam Smith

So this is basically background song week - I haven't really acknowledged this enough yet, but here's Sam Smith's companion jam to "Stay With Me" that's been a bit overshadowed. It's got the thumper beat courtesy of Latch which makes it a pretty rad chill jam. But it's absolutely a background song rather than anything that's going to change your life.

50s Housewife Drunk: "Wasted" by Tiesto ft. Matthew Koma

I can't really stand Tiesto and I have no idea at all what Koma contributes to this jam, but it's another fun song that's lurked more in the shadows this summer. It's pretty straightforward EDM but it's got enough conventional pop beats to cross over into Top 40 airplay, even though "I like us better when we're wasted" is a decently horrible message. I mean, I'm definitely one to get wasted, but I'm not going to be proud of that. damn, Tiesto. What a douchebag.

Be Vewy Quiet, I'm Hunting: "Habits" by Tove Lo

I really dig this jam and I'm going to express that as frequently as possible through this meager weekly rundown. It has a curious little rolling beat, a lonely lyrical quality, and a passionate batch of vocals out of the pipes of Tove Lo. What a wild thing. It's also more of a Sunday morning coming down song than a Saturday night get pumped jam, but Summer needs those, too, folks.

Prancy: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

There's almost no question that "Fancy" is outpacing its sister jam, "Problem" by now. This song has cray cray ubiquity and has proven its cultural influence to be pretty significant. The next few weeks are going to be critical though for its legacy - will it really be forever linked to Summer 2014 on its own or does "Problem" need to be part of that conversation? And is it making Iggy into a star or a novelty act? I'm curious how "Fancy" evolves, but it captures so much attitude that I'm still digging it hard now. Actually this week was the first time I really tried to understand the lyrics (I failed) so that will keep it interesting for a while.

Next week...

I was cautious about leaving out Charlie XCX's "Boom Clap" but I think it may have just had its time in the sun last week. Since we highlighted so many under-the-rug jams this week I also feel bad for leaving out Nicki's "Pills N Potions" which has also been a constant presence this summer but hasn't really made the waves something like "Super Bass" did. And that video is so insane! We'll see who can still fight to the top!

Summer Jam Week 12: Cough Cough

We're getting pretty close to the end of July, which is always a bit of a disappointing prospect. There's just not that much Summer left, folks. All the real big movie hits have come and gone (maybe not if some Space Weirdos have anything to say about it this week...), the best beach days are over, all our fireworks have exploded and it's time to gear up for that final stretch of basking in Sunny Glory. So, Summer Jams:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Back to the Shack" by Weezer



It's been a while since Weezer has unleashed a really fresh jam and this is an instantaneously classic addition to their oeuvre. I'm still torn whether or not it's really great to praise a song that sounds so genuinely like their old stuff or to criticise them for not really moving forward in a musically daring way. Well, it doesn't really matter as long as "Back to the Shack" is fun and catchy, which it is. Can we see a late run at Jam-status? I'd like to say so.

Get Washed: "Shower" by Becky G

This is really turning into my guilty pleasure Summer Jam love. Even if she's basically a completely non-threatening version of Miley Cyrus targeting the girls that Miley used to target, but devoid of any of her lyrical or vocal talent, I dig the epic sweeping nature to this bizarre yet conventional song topic. More far-too-thoughtful analysis of tracks like this to follow.

Butt Jam: "Wiggle" by Jason Derulo ft. Snoop Dogg

I'll mention this every week until I get sick of it, or at least go a week without someone coming up to me saying "WIGGO WIGGO WIGGO!" See, what's important is to articulate the hashtag not as #wiggle but as #WIGGLEWIGGLEWIGGLE!. The instragram shout-out is key in what is probably the doofiest jam of summer. I think it gets a lot of its cache through the simple fact that whenever anyone needs to wiggle for any reason this summer, the only response is "WIGGO WIGGO WIGGO!" There, I said it three times now.

Horny Sadface: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

I'm sort of curious at this point whether or not this track will be remembered as an immortal Summer Jam or just a big joke. I guess I had a turn in my appreciation of this nonsense this week. Perhaps it's just getting to that point of being overplayed where it's not fresh or interesting anymore. Or maybe Ariana's complete disinterest in actually dancing to her own song and being excited to sing an exciting track is finally getting pretty old. "Problem" and "Fancy" have traded blows all summer, I'm curious now to see where they each end up.

Guy Love: "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith

Smith recently came out in an interview saying that this track is about his relationship with another dude. The world let go a collective "OBVI." and moved on. Smith can croon like a boss and by now he's definitively cornered the market on the grandiose uplifting love song of the Summer. Out of everyone here I can sort of see him landing the firmest career come Autumn. It helps that he's really not a novelty act.

How Rude: "Rude" by MAGIC!

This jam is still topping some charts, but I just don't think that anyone is really caring about it any more. I mean, do you? I was actually over their white guy pop reggae shit quite a while ago, but I don't think this has staying power. See that novelty thing I mentioned earlier? This is the epitome of the forgettable pop song.

The Sound of a Butt Farting: "Boom Clap" by Charli XCX

I mentioned "Boom Clap" here a while ago, but this jam exploded this week. Suddenly I heard it on airplay and mentioned in conversation everywhere and it's just the definition of the kind of hot streak this list is built for. I feel like mentioning this jam is also related (somehow) to The Fault in Our Stars (2014), which was really an underrated box office success this summer. What can "Boom Clap" do with the remaining five weeks of Summer? Charli XCX is finally getting some recognition after "Fancy" assured its place in our 2014 music lexicon and anything with Shailene Woodley is suddenly getting aten up. So, power to "Boom Clap," let's see how far those toilet sounds go.

Drippin Swagu: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX

I couldn't resist! It's still hot! I heard this penetrating like, modern hip-hop stations and really mainstream parties. It's reached that maximum excess point where everyone knows that beat when it comes on. Everyone is starting to get "Fancy" and reacts about the same way - a slight cringe but then a smooth heady jam. It's proven itself to not really be going anywhere nor is it wearing out its welcome. It really is a spectacular Summer Jam that I have doubted about every week this year.

Next week...

We definitely have started to grow these fringe jams like Calvin Harris' "Summer," Nicki Minaj's "Pills N Potions," and Sia's "Chandelier" that just rotate getting kicked off the list each week. I am actually more curious if any of Weird Al's groundbreaking (is it? It's at least his first #1 album...) Mandatory Fun spawns more single-oriented jams instead of existing as one great opus. But who cares, really, Al changed the game last week and producing as much goofiness as possible is a whole lot better for his niche than dominating radio with one single. He's even changing my mind about this list - can "Tacky" be considered a great Summer Jam without a lot of airplay or even downloads? I dunno - what do you think?!

Summer Jam Week 11: Weird Al Dominates Somehow

We probably could have just called it the Weird Al Week and leave it at that. It's the Summer Jam countdown, folks, and the biggest buzzing artist by far right now is ol' Yankovic. It's kind of insane. I suppose he's somehow built for himself a sense of nostalgia, because he's been around for thirty years, but also a keen sense of modernism with his up-to-date parodies. For whatever reason, Weird Al is your boss this week.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Tacky" by Weird Al Yankovic



I could have picked any song off of Mandatory Fun, which dropped this week, which Al did a sort of Beyonce-style All-video routine for, but "Tacky" kicked it off and it's probably the best video. It's at least the most professional and thought-out. Not like that matters, actually with these novelty songs that are more built for viral transmission. And "Foil" was real solid. I think it's the way that Al throws himself in 100% to some jokes that really aren't that great or witty that constantly sells his insane humor. It's wonderful. Anyway, back to the real world:

Rub-A-Dub Dub: "Shower" by Becky G

Absolutely. I don't know, this is real fun, though. It's so bubbly and poppy that I dig it. It's not only a great shower-singing song (finally), but there's this slight epicness and solemn tone to the chorus that weighs it down with great importance. Becky G. I love the names of these artists that I will never be mentioning again as popular ever.

No More fun.: "I Wanna Get Better" by Bleachers

I was debating this track's inclusion once again, but it sort of earwormed its way back into my life this week, and I really enjoy this track and want you to listen to it as well. It's a bit better than anything that fun. ever did so I'm pretty pumped that frontman Jack Antonoff is exploring what he can do with this jam. This summer doesn't have enough groovy alt jams like this, so naturally I'm game.

Sing Higher: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

I like Key of Awesome sometimes but they're generally far too mean-spirited, making fun of the artists on a surface level more than any offering any kind of intelligent satire, but the video sums up a lot of what I feel about this track, including Ariana's creepy horny face and how awkward her dancing is. But yeah I think this track has finally turned and won't get back to #1 this Summer.

The Realist: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

It's downright bizarre how much this song's fate has been tied up with "Problem". And by that I also kind of mean not at all, because they're really different jams that just share one artist and a similar streak of popularity. But I'd call it on the decline by now, just because it's no longer that fresh or novel. And we only care about the freshest jams here, folks. Yeah, that's not true at all.

Smoke if You Got 'Em: "Habits (Stay High)" by Tove Lo

I always want to think Tone Loc when I search this track, so obvi I ended up listening to a good deal of "Funky Cold Medina" this week. Anyway, Tove Lo is a solid up and coming artist with this super-listenable Jam that I've mentioned here a few times and I'd love to see surge all the way this summer. It's this cautious mix of thoughtful chill jam lyrics and this sweeping drug-addled chorus. It's fantastic.

Swing Low: "Chandelier" by Sia

Everyone knows this song. it's crazy. I had no idea this has had as much influence as it has actually had so far this summer, but it came on at a party and suddenly every man, woman, and child of all races and genders was tubthumping to this jam. Sounds good to me. They hadn't seen the video, though, which is crazy to me, because it's so fantastic and insane and wonderful.

Uncouth: "Rude" by MAGIC!

I'd like to think I called these guys upending Iggy on the Hot 100 last week by placing them in the #1 spot here first. It's all me, clearly. Anyway, for more lack of anything else that compelling, "Rude" dominates again this week and is starting to become this silent little mid-summer anthem, which is solid in its own right. I don't know, I'm not actually all that impressed with the jam and the lyrics are pretty stupid, but it is an earworm, which is all a track really needs to be super-jam worthy.

Next week...

I'm curious if any of those Weird Al songs stick to the zeitgeist, but we'll probably see a couple of them start to get airplay, although Al is actually canny enough to understand that digital distribution is far more effective these days, and he's right. I had a tough time leaving off Tiesto's "Wasted" but wanted to highlight some other jams. With any luck the EDM douche continues some mainstream popularity and it fights its way back next week.

Summer Jam Week 10: So Many Exotic Shaking Girls

Ah, mid-July. It's that magic time after the craziness of the Fourth but before we really need to start turning our attention to school and work. It's a time of vacation, lounging, maximum chillaxing, and reaping the greatest benefits of the Months of Sun. For the Summer Jam, it's also getting darn near the nadir of pop excellence.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Wasted" by Tiesto ft. Matthew Koma



I'm never really into these shitty EDM artists, and Tiesto is pretty bad, but this track is surprisingly pop-friendly. It's got a pretty seductive video as well, with all these 50s housewives cutting loose. Tiesto himself makes awkward appearances through the television set now and then, but when the action stays fun, it's a good time.

Ancient Hotness: "Turn Down for What" by Lil Jon

Now, I think the Neanderthals listened to "Turn Down for What," the track is sooo old, but I thought I'd be remiss if I didn't mention it on one of these Summer Weeks. It's still getting quite a bit of airplay, actually, and making waves in the national discussion of contemporary music. Of all these songs we go through every week it's also one of the few notable, memorable songs of 2014 that ought to make a lasting impact, even if it's just another chance for Lil Jon to scream "WHAAT?!" a decade after he first made it cool.

Every Girl: "Foreign" by Trey Songz

Yes, this is really territory already explored by Lil Wayne's "Every Girl" and even earlier this summer with Jason Derulo's "Talk Dirty." Yes, foreign girls are fun to fool around with and this kind of subject matter for a song has gotten sort of ill-conceived and outdated. I actually dig the extended opening, though, and damn the girls in this video are beautiful. That's all you need. But Trey Songz is still a bit of a piece of shit.

Bootyness Continues: "Wiggle" by Jason Derulo ft. Snoop Dogg

See, we are showcasing a lot of these kinds of insane booty-shaking misogynistic club-bangers this week. "Wiggle" is fun because any time you need to squirm a little bit or shake something loose you can just shout out "WIGGO WIGGO WIGGOOOO!!!" with complete acceptance. I don't think this will ever climb to #1 but it's getting pretty consistent on this list.

Mr. Anderson: "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith

Sam Smith may have also plateaued, but his debut single is still pretty significant. He's having trouble truly breaking out and dominating, but I sort of have the feeling that this track will really just offer him some great name recognition, then his sophomore effort will explode. He's got the name, pipes, and zeitgeist behind him - why not?

Mo Money: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

We're getting to the point where we start to numb over when hearing this thing, but it's worthwhile that I haven't really gotten sick of it yet. It's still a really fun jam that has indelibly left its mark on the Summer Jam scene. It's just so fast-paced, positive, and catchy without really being able to be nailed down. Everything works. But it's uprooted this week.

CSNY: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

Obviously this song gets some sincere props this week after being covered by Jimmy Fallon doing his Neil Young impression. Not only that, but the additions of David Crosby, Stephen Stills, and Graham Nash makes it really an epic event. It's only a shame that the actual Neil Young couldn't also make an appearance. This is also an indication of how big and penetrating this jam is getting in pop culture, a sure sign that Iggy has arrived and isn't going anywhere any time soon.

Abra Kadabra! "Rude" by MAGIC!

We're mixing it up this week! I heard a lot of people humming and singing this joint, and well, "Problem" and "Fancy" are already getting stale anyway. It's time for "Rude" to reign, even if it really just kind of sounds like Michael Buble singing to a Reggae beat. It's kind of weird and terrible, actually. But - catchy as hell. I also don't understand the lyrics at all - is it rude to refuse some chode your daughter's hand in marriage? I think there are greater issues at work here, folks.

Next week...

It's been off for a while now but I strongly considered adding Bleachers' "I Wanna Get Better" back on here because I heard it a bit again and realized how cool of a song that is. So that's a thing. But other than that, I'm actually more eyeing whatever the next big parody is coming off of Weird Al's new album, Mandatory Fun. It targets everything that's been on this list - "Fancy," "Blurred Lines," CSN - it's going to be spectacular.

Summer Jam Week 9: Taking Independence Day to the Riptide

As the Fourth of July Weekend wanes we've officially descended into the latter half of Summer. Kind of crazy, eh? It's fantastic how much Iggy Azalea has ruled this summer, and there's still no one really out there to challenge her. Everyone else is pretty locked in, though. But importantly folks, this is only the midpoint by our official May to September reckoning. There's a lot to go, yet.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Riptide" by Vance Joy



This video landed a year ago, but I just discovered it this week, then later it was playing at a few bars I was frequenting, so I'm going to go ahead and consider it breaking into the mainstream this week. I actually really dig this video, it's got this great sense of literal humour that's hipster-y, sort of creepy, and subtly hilarious. It's also a fantastically charming Summer Jam with plenty of pep amidst its restrained nature.

Swing on This: "Chandelier" by Sia

Half-epic, half-goofy, "Chandelier" strikes back in its insane little dancing glory. It's a pretty fun jam even if it doesn't exactly rise to become a pop classic that will place Sia on the map. It's sort of that ubiquitous Top 40 radio jam that ultimately becomes white noise by this point in Summer. It's not like that's a bad thing - we need white noise in our Summer Jam Soundtrack.

The Purge: Slay with Me: "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith

I have weird feelings now about this one - I think it may be in a little valley after soaring a few weeks ago, but I'm actually starting to really dig it as soon as it's cooling a little bit. Late to the party, I guess. I'm sure we'll hear more from Sam Smith, though.

Poof! "Rude" by MAGIC!

I finally caved an placed this track on the Summer Jam list - it's been around forever by now, but it finally really penetrated my subconscious this week and I started asking everyone why they gotta be so rude this week. It just earwormed itself into my brain and I had to place it here. It's a trite and innocuous song that doesn't really add anything to the human condition - the kind of alt pop rock bullshit that acts like a wannabe watered-down Maroon 5. Ugh, I hate this music. But I can't stop singing it. I have problems.

Sparkle Sparkle! "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

Yes! "Fancy" is not the #1 or #2 Jam this week. It's still way way cherry, but I think it's starting to outrun its own novelty. There's no doubt that it's still left more of a mark on the Pop Culture of Summer 2014 than anything else up to this point - including its sister jam, "Problem," possibly because it's got quite the headier edge to it. Still, it's not grabbing our attention anymore.

When My Pants Turn Brown: "Summer" by Calvin Harris

This little bastard just won't go away, either. By all means it's a competent jam, even if I sort of get the sense that no one really cares about it. See, 2014 is weird - we don't have a "Blurred Lines" to dominate national pop conversation, for good or ill, or even a "Super Bass" that gets totally underrated all Summer before becoming a Top 40 mainstay for years after. We just have like, crap like this to fill the void in our lives. Well, whatever.

Make My World Go Round: "Wiggle" by Jason Derulo ft. Snoop Dogg

Yeah this is weirdly taking off as of late. "Wiggle" is where it's at, fools. It's really a callback to when Rap Songs were more misogynistic, and if only we could go back to those "Tip Drill" days, Jason. Why does this song take off while something like last year's "Can't Believe It" by Flo Rida falls on its face? It's the same damn song. My guess would be simply that Snoop adds a crazy amount of credibility to any Jam and that "wiggo wiggo wiggoooo" is just that much catchier of a hook. Plus this video sucks.

No Worries: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

Who knows what the hell is going on with this Jam, but no one's coming close to toppling these ladies so far. The video is courtesy of some dude doing a ton of different voices and musical styles, which in itself is a good indication of how popular and wide known it's getting. Still, you remember last year? "Get Lucky," "Blurred Lines," "It Won't Stop" - these tracks changed the game, son. 2014 is kind of skipping a beat so far.

Next week...

I'm curious about the potential of that smooth ass Capital Cities song "One Minute More" along with yes, that Maroon 5 Jam. I also just have an unending belief, though, that some great, incredible, life-changing jam will launch itself in the next couple weeks and completely change our pop culture landscape. Or not, who cares. "Fancy" has done a nice job of that on its own I suppose.

Summer Jam Week 8: Even Worse

It's a monumental week, folks! School is caput - High Schoolers are graduating and yes, all your friends are getting married. It's a wild time to be alive, and since Zeus is cranking the thermostat, it's time to cool off with some slick chill Summer Jams. We're really settling into a gang of four or five summer stallwarts now - who is going to emerge on top? Keep reading, folks.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Something Bad" by Miranda Lambert ft. Carrie Underwood



I'm really not a country fan. Any long time reader of this column should know that I like to present a solid mix of alt rock, chicky pop, and gangsta rap - but I generally shy away from Country. It's just complete anathema to me. But yeah, "Something Bad" is a legit track, and follows more in that recent Taylor Swift tradition of more pop-infused country jams. There's never been a more convincing duo in sexiness in the history of the world here, and this does strangely feel simultaneously like a classic country jam and a much more mainstream pop ballad. But Country is mainstream, right? Hot Jam.

Ride My Bicycle: "Best Friend" by Foster the People

I'm really torn by Foster the People, because they had their hugest jam with "Pumped Up Kicks", which was really a lovely track, but they've got so many other spectacular songs. This one probably falls somewhere along with "Coming of Age" in that it doesn't totally reach as high as they can go. But it's got lots of room to catch on and make some Summer Waves. And that vid's trippy as hell.

Two is Good: "2 On" by Tinashe ft. Schoolboy Q

This song was actually in my head all week. I really like its intro that blends into Tinashe's sweet vocals and Schoolboy Q has proven himself an excellent addition to any track. It's kind of too much of a mimicry of Jhene Aiko, who can out-coo any other sister out there right now, but I can still dig it.

Graduation Anthem: "Hangover" by PSY ft. Snoop Dogg

This was another track that got stuck in my head all week this week. It's a fitting anthem to all the life events that inspire drunken antics this time of year and it's also a really funny video and song. It's rewarding both to see PSY doing anything besides "Gangnam Style" as well as Snoop dishing out some pretty heavy doses of doofiness. Solid. I'm not sure if this is actually getting airplay or not, but it sure gets a lot of lifeplay from me.

Mr. Anderson: "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith

Our boy Sammy is blowing up right now and he's somewhat been proving himself more than just another forlorn white boy in the crowd. This has really got some weight to it that's nice to unwind to after that hangover caused by PSY and Snoop. It's the Hangunder track of the summer, folks.

Oh Look - Summer: "Summer" by Calvin Harris

I called this our Hot Jam way back in Week 1 and now it finally seems like this is actually taking off as a good little Summer Jam. Maybe not so little - it's popping at just the right time to go on a serious run at the whole damn thing. I think that Iggy and Iggy especially are peaking right now, and this could very well be the heir apparent. Keep two eyes and three ears on this one, folks.

Spendiferous: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

I think that "Fancy" has crested, although I've been saying that for the past three weeks or so. It's losing a bit of its novelty and getting pretty dangerously close to overplayed status, or at least "not hot" status, and as a result, I may have to take an axe to it next week. This week, though, it still reigns. Well, almost but for -

None I Can See: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

It was a bit of a toss-up this week until the iHeart Radio show this week that really catapulted it to the top. I think all that iHeart crap is kind of bullshit, but to see Ariana live you really get a feel for that voice, even if her style and dancing is still the most typical pop bullshit ever. Still, this song is an earworm, and by now it's committed a pretty fair case for its inclusion as a serious Summer Jam contender come September. Unless we fall in love when the leaves turn brown.

Next week...

I like getting a glimpse of Shakira's "Empire" this week, even if it landed a while ago, and I was also looking at Charlie XCX's "Boom Clap," although I'm not sure she's as strong a soloist as a hook singer. Anyway, "Fancy" could launch her, but I'll restrain a little before announcing it as a Hot Jam. Stay tuned folks, this is getting really good.

Summer Jam Week 7: OK, Go Eazy

If you've somehow turned your eyes away from the World Cup (who are we kidding, Americans, it's just background noise until you hear an announcer excited about a goal), you may be really getting into the Summer Jams this week - with this weekend bringing us the First Day of Summer in a cosmic, seasonal sense, and this being the last week of school for many young whippersnappers out there, it's do or die time for any Summer Jam attempting to become THE big Song of Summer 2014. I think our contenders are pretty set. Let's dive in, shall we?

Hot Jam of the Week: "The Writing's on the Wall" by OK Go



The words "ultimate mind-blower" get thrown around a lot these days, but without hyperbole, OK Go pulls off another insane practical single-take music video that looks like an extreme pain to set up but amazing for us, the viewer. Like most of their tracks, the song itself isn't really anything special - I mean, it's a fun light alt pop-rock jam, but it would probably be ignored if not for how cool all the forced perspective and practical camera tricks of this video are. I actually can't stop watching it. It's very cool. Summer Jam? I dunno, this is really made for visual rather than audial consumption, but it is easy listening that's pretty rad. Go!

That Big Fat Butt: "Wiggle" by Jason Derulo ft. Snoop Dogg

This feels like an older Snoop song - like "Beautiful" or "That's That Shit" (and yes, I can't believe I now consider those to be "older Snoop songs" but jeez, it's like 10 years ago) - it's got that nice ring of misogyny to it that I feel like most rappers can't get away with anymore. It's phenomenally stupid, and Derulo is a tool, but it's also a pretty catchy tune and it took off a bit this week. Still, did Snoop give up on Reggae already? He's still got the dreads, so that's something.

Cartography Lesson: "Maps" by Maroon 5

I get really torn over Maroon 5. Sometimes I really dig their stuff, like "One More Night" or "Misery" but I can't stand drek like "Moves Like Jagger" or "Payphone." I guess I just dislike their more pop-oriented jams, but as any reader of this column can tell, I don't normally have an issue at all with pop music. Anyway, "Maps" is their attempt at 2014 relevancy after not really doing much for a while. It's a fair song, but I can't say it grabs my brain and melts it like some other songs this week. It ought to get enough airplay just from being their next big attempt, but I imagine it flares out after some time.

Dangle Dangle: "Chandelier" by Sia

As far as chandelier-themed songs go, I kid of favor B.o.B., but this rad, too. The video is peculiar - simultaneously intense and irreverent, and it's backed by a slowly building powerful jam that's probably a little better of a song than it deserves to be. But boy is it fun and bouncy. Not actually appearing in this video is a bold move for Sia, who doesn't really have widespread name or facial recognition, yet. As a result I don't think it will take off that much, despite it being slightly more pertinent than the typical summer pop smash. We'll see how it does off of airplay.

The Next Brokaw: "I Mean It" by G-Eazy ft. Remo

I actually really dig both this track and this video. It's hypnotic, from the autotuned chorus to the competent white rapping by G-Eazy. It also has an interesting tone streaking through it, sort of goofy but also pretty focused and agitated. It's not really the best flow out there, but G-Eazy does have a good deal of confidence, and almost sounds like the cadence of an old LL or something. The beat is ethereal but simplistic, but everything combines to end up with a pretty serious track. Somehow. I don't think this will launch G-Eazy into superstardom, but it's pretty cool.

Don't Go Nowhere: "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith

Sam Smith seems like the next big white guy soft rock act to break out, and "Stay With Me" is getting pretty huge as a reflection of that. He's got a nice set of pipes for sure but I'm not sure this track is Summer Jam potential. Maybe like, crying at the end of a bad night of drinking material, but this ain't a party beach anthem. Still, there's always room for this crap and it'll probably take off even more.

Get Special: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

I think "Fancy" may finally be reaching its tipping point towards becoming overplayed, but it hasn't really reached its super-annoying status yet, which is good for it. I'm not sure this can ever get old and annoying. But a few more weeks will probably do it. It's had such a good run for these first seven weeks - will it hold in our memory by the time Labour Day hits - especially since it really hasn't experienced any success in the heart of Summer, yet? We'll see, baby!

No Problemo: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

This track is really starting to take off, which brings it at an interesting crossroads with "Fancy" - they roughly started picking up steam at the same time, but I'm kind of favoring "Problem" over its second place counterpart here. It's infused with so much more pop energy that makes it exhilarating, I think it will have a bit more legs come July. Still, it faces the same problems - even though it's clearly a contender by now, it hasn't been tested in the depths of Summer. What will come of it? It's tough to tell. Go USA!

Next week...

I'm curious about Florida Georgia Line's continual ability to crossover pop with country with "This is How We Roll" which is set up to do as great as any jam like this can be. Jumping on the Sam Smith bandwagon, I also like his collabo with Disclosure, "Latch," which is nearly fresh enough to break out. And can Calvin Harris' blatant attempt at Summer Jam Royalty "Summer" actually catch on? Stay tuned, folks! We're just getting farted!

Summer Jam Week 6: Iggy Nicki Lordie

We're getting into the last week of High School, folks - time for graduation parties, commencement, and a ridiculous amount of poor decisions. As far as Jams go, it's still all Iggy, but the next big track is just out there waiting to drop and blow all our minds. For now, the week is mostly full of retreads. Keep reading an blow some speakers:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Live Forever" by Travis Barker ft. Juicy J & L.I.Z.



In honor of 22 Jump Street (2014)'s tremendous success this weekend the Hot Jam that plays over the end credits gets the spot here. It's a fantastic track and really simultaneously typical of the hard line Phil Lord and Chris Miller run between fresh zeitgeist, irony, and genuine trashiness. It's part of a revelry in the disdained that makes these guys so popular. I'm not sure if Travis Barker's goal is any of that, but it's a sweet jam.

Just Don't Smack Your Face: "Tennis Court" by Lorde

Lorde comes back this week with the irresistible lead track off of Pure Heroine. I don't know how I can instinctively understand what "talking it out like yeaah" means, but part of Lorde's appeal is how she inexplicably can become the voice of a generation, even if she's a generation behind me. Way cray, girl.

For the World Cup: "Trophies" by Drake

A lot of Drake songs sound pretty similar and this could really stand in for anything he does. It's still pretty good, though, so that's a good indication. I can't see "Trophies" catching on the way bigger hip hop joints have in summers past, but it's a pretty fair entry for a rad radio play here and there. Pretty good. Pretty, pretty, pretty good.

Get Dem Ready: "Stay Ready (What a Life)" by Jhene Aiko ft. Kendrick Lamar

It's tough to find a poorly constructed song by either of these artists, and "Stay Ready" bounces with Jhene's coos and Kendrick's flow to make an incredible track. In terms of widespread commercial appeal, I don't think it's going to turn any really crazy heads, but it's tough not to light up, put this on, and have a real, real chill night.

Is it Fun: "Ain't it Fun" by Paramore

Everything about this song really annoys me - I think it's a combination of the vapid lyrics, inconsequential video, and the bet that seems like it's always building upon its earworm contractions but leaves you short of anything really significant. Still, it's popular as hell, probably because it goes down pretty easy by just about any ears in range.

Poppin' Fresh: "Pills N Potions" by Nicki Minaj

"Pills N Potions" gets a video this week that's really surreal and full of all this 90s-level CGI. I don't know what the tone is necessarily going for with the weird still-life rabbits and sexy Minaj spilling all over herself, but it's an interestingly pared down song and video for where Nicki is in her career right now. I'm down, though, and if anything, Nicki merely proves that she can pull off a wide variety of styles and personae.

Dolled Up: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

I'm waiting for at least one of these songs to break, but it's not this week. "Fancy" continues to be a sick song, even if it may be fast approaching an overplayed threshold. The video also hails to the 90s whose kitsch is getting an interesting rise in appreciation. I'm just waiting for some song to honor the 2000s now. Because damn if we're not getting close to some good ol' 2004 nostalgia.

No Problemo: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

I still think this video is pretty useless, from Ariana's blank stare mugging to those creepy double-jointed dudes who freak me out. Ugh. Iggy is probably most successful here as some 70s bufont with hair big enough to match her attitude. The expression, the trumpets, and Ariana's voice are maxed out here, but is it enough momentum to catalyst it into Summer Jam Royalty? It's tough to make any other argument right now.

Next week...

Did you hear PSY's Hangover song? Did you know that PSY still existed? I don't know if hangover songs are typically popular, but damn I'm just pleased that this is a thing. Did Snoop Lion give up already? And we get to see his eyes! Oh baby! I hope this becomes a nasty hit.

Summer Jam Week 5: High is Better

Things are heating up and we're into the thick of June now, folks. That means it's time again to go over the hottest Summer Jams of the previous week. We've started to settle a little bit, but there is still a lot of exciting things to go. This week we've mostly got a lot of R&B Jams and songs about getting high. It's Summer, babe.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Pills N Potions" by Nicki Minaj



Opening up our Altered States week is the latest jam from Nicki Minaj. Nicki hasn't really put anything out in a while, but this is a nice comeback to her native Summer Jam territory. It's a softer song for her, in line with more "Your Love" or "Right Thru Me" then her crazy "Super Bass" or "Starships". It's always nice to see her taking it down like this and realizing just how talented this girl is. "Pills N Potions" is set to be a great jam, catchy, smooth, and easily listenable. We'll see if it takes off.

Did You Mean Baby: "Come Get It Bae" by Pharrell ft. Miley Cyrus

I don't know what bae is, probably somehow a shortened form of "baby." Pharrell is doing well with this non-"Happy" song and showing he's got another run at a Summer Jam in him after that collabo with Daft Punk last year. Miley is really understated here, which adds to a really fun song in line with just about everything off of GIRL. Not only is this everywhere on the radio but thanks to those incessant Red Bull commercials the energetic little jam is all over television as well.

Late Night Drama: "Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?" by Arctic Monkeys

This came out last summer, but like a lot of slowburning alt rock songs these days, it's only getting a lot of mainstream airplay right now. The video is sort of all over the place, starting with their song "Do I Wanna Know?" then bleeding into a tripped out night of mayhem version of "Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?" It's a pretty competent little jam, even if it doesn't totally endorse its behavior. Arctic Monkeys have been taking off lately, although I think this is still kind of a niche group rather than an epic summer jam factory.

Sexy Crying: "Pretty Hurts" by Beyonce

I always kind of chuckle when artists put out their "inner beauty" whatever songs, like Christina Aguilera did years ago with "Beautiful." Come on, Beyonce, you're one of the most gorgeous women in the world, stop whining. There are some serious issues at work here, though, with the expectation of beauty and the tremendous sacrifice made not only by young girls, but everyone in the face of impossible standards of attraction. The song itself is decent, but I do rather favor Bey belting "RIDE 'IM LIKE A SURFBORT" over what she's going for here vocally.

Psych Out: "I Wanna Get Better" by Bleachers

Bleachers crawl back on to this list after bouncing around a bit, but this is getting a bit of traction. It's a fun song for sure, even if the video takes a while to get going and has too much talking to really be enjoyable. I'm concerned, though that this isn't really the kind of song we're going to adore a year from now. It seems way too much in the moment rather than something really timeless. Either way, it's a fun jam for the Summer of 2014.

Wake and Bake: "Habits (Stay High)" by Tove Lo

I like the potential of this song. It's sweetly toned even if its subject matter of a tortured addiction may be a bit heavy. There's a lot of passion here, though, along with a pretty high degree of catchiness. I doubt this will ever really catch on and explode, but here's my Tove Lo shout-out for the week.

Mo Money: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

Has anyone noticed that the cadence of Iggy's verse seems a lot like what Nicki Minaj threw down in Diddy's "Hello, Good Morning" a while back? Maybe it's just me. This really has Summer Jam all over it, from Ariana hitting the ground running hard to the cool coos of the whispering chorus, along with the defiant break-up happy content of the lyrics. It's really hot but I think just not quite at superstar status yet. Wait a bit.

Dolled Up: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

I gave "Fancy" the edge this week, it seemed like it had a little bit more airplay. This song is a giant, although to be honest, it's not completely dominating like previous Summer Jams or even crazy Winter Jams like "Happy" was a few months ago. It also may be cresting that annoyance barrier where the novelty of its freshness starts declining. I think our ultimate Jam starling is still out there somewhere...

Next week...

I'm curious about some artists coming up like Sevyn Streeter, Bear Hands, and Bastille, along with some time honored favorites like Coldplay and Beyonce that keep cranking out potential hits. Like I said, though, no one song is completely dominating or set-up for absolute success quite yet. This middle part of June, though is when we saw crazy crazy Summer Jams like "California Gurls" and "Blurred Lines" debut, so grip your seats tight - we're just getting warmed up.

Summer Jam Week 4: Iggy's All Over June

Welcome again folks to our round-up of the Hottest Summer Jams of the Past Week. June is upon us, meaning that one Summer Month is down and it's just starting to get hot in here. Our quest to find that one immortal Summer Jam is never ending - at least until Labor Day, when it ends. It's probably fair to note too that this list has devolved into really just the top eight songs that I found interesting this week. So let's dig in:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Of the Night" by Bastille



The UK is a little ahead of us when it comes to Bastille, and they've had this one since last fall, but it's starting to get more airplay over here. This wasn't as evident with "Pompeii," but Bastille is really mixing in these weird EDM elements and horrible synthed voices here that make an otherwise soft but charming track nigh unlistenable. I can't imagine this really catching on like "Pompeii" did but the band's name attached to it ought to at least carry it a little bit.

Crunched: "Dangerous" by Big Data ft Joywave

Now here is an electronic song with a heavy dose of funk integrated into its beat. It's not really Daft Punk circa 2013 levels, but Big Data presents a pretty mellow crunchy Summer Jam here. It hasn't really broken away from its niche at all yet, but its music video is also spectacular. I can see this gaining a nice following if they can get some traction and radio play, it straddles enough genres to get on more than a few modern rock and pop stations.

Yes it Is: "Ain't it Fun" by Paramore

I've tried to ignore this track because it's really irritating to me, but I need to acknowledge its surging popularity. Paramore has gotten progressively shittier as a band with each new album, and this is full descent into pop nonsense. The beat is virtually nonexistent, and the video has no real significance beyond an arbitrary day of wackiness centered more on the enjoyment by the band members themselves rather than providing a service of being entertaining to fans. I dunno, I really hate this shit. It is catchy as hell, though.

Dangle Me This: "Chandelier" by Sia

Sia is a competent, if not very interesting pop performer, but if this is her opus, we're okay with that. The video is all kinds of wacky with this little bodysuit girl going crazy and it's a pretty fun song, if not a little overblown. I'm down with the line this walks between epic and doofy, although I'm not sure that doofiness was intentional, which is disconcerning.

Don't Break It: "Fragile" by Tech N9ne ft Kendrick Lamar, MAYDAY!, and Kendall Morgan

This track is maybe a little old, but I heard it for the first time this week and dug it, even if Tech N9ne's name is really annoying to type. Even if it was just Tech 9ine or something I feel like I can get my brain around that. Anyway, the minimal beat give support to both the rapidfire lyric deliveries as well as the stretched out chorus verses. It's getting hard to hate anything that Kendrick touches, and he's more in angry raspy mode here than his smooth flowing voice, which is a delight.

Like Spongebob: "I'm Ready" by AJR

AJR is sort of interesting to me - boy band looks and voices but they're actually this little indie band who just mixes their songs in their apartment. This has all the makings of a pretty audience-friendly pop hit, although it lacks anything to make it really stand-out. Still, it's getting pop airplay (of course it is, this should be in the background of doctor's offices for the entire Summer), and could lead to something a bit more significant to obviously a talented group of kids.

Decked Out: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

This week was ultimately a tough toss-up of Iggy Azalea songs, and ultimately, "Fancy" falls to #2. I maybe like this one a little better, probably because the hard as shit gangsta Iggy voice dominates a little more, while Charlie XCX croons halfways between Gwen Stefani and a completely unrepentant 90s bitch. Of course she is. "Fancy" has already made a strong statement for its case for early Summer Jam Queen, but this list has been so transitory, without much less coming along to dethrone it. It's hard to tell what will happen to this once the big Summer Jam Hits start landing come the next few weeks.

One Less: "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea

It's maybe unfair to call these two tracks Iggy songs, because really, "Problem" is all Ariana. With a fairly bland video accompanying the song coming out this week we get to see even more of Grande, who's built a nice career starring in a Nickelodeon show (apparently) and had that mild hit with Mac Miller last year. I feel like she hasn't quite found a public persona to match that incredible set of pipes, though. In the video she basically stands around looking cute with her fingers up her mouth, does some whatever dancing, and never really seems that comfortable. C'mon girl, sell this shit, "Problem" is a fantastically enthusiastic song, give us more Beyonce and less Lana Del Rey.

Next week...

I see "Problem" staying here for a while, but anything can happen. This is an integral week in the life cycle of the Summer Jam - college kids have finally stopped drinking every night with their high school friends and are settling into their internships. High Schoolers are just about ready to bust loose or at least start finals, and all the adults in the world can finally stretch their legs as the pollen starts to fall, weddings heat up, and the sun shines. Fuck you, Pitbull, your Jams suck. It's anyone's game.

Summer Jam Week 3: Lorde and Iggy Go for the Jugular

As Memorial Day charges through the nation and everyone really starts opening pools, playing outside, and generally gets actually pumped for summer, a whole array of Jams are pounding our ears into pop submission. I like mixing things up here, and there a lot of pretty hot tracks to cruise to this week. Go for it!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Tennis Court" by Lorde



Back when I reviewed Pure Heroine as I was wrapping up the Best Music of 2013, I called "Tennis Court" one of Lorde's better songs and I'm glad it's now getting some airplay. The beat is typically minimalist for Lorde, which allows her ridiculous vocals to really shine through. It's not as blase as either "Team" or "Royals" but it's still full of that "over it" attitude that makes Lorde refreshing and instantly popular.

Hum it Out: "La La La" by Naughty Boy ft Sam Smith

I take an extreme amount of joy in listening to this track, even though it's really not that great of a song. I think I just dig the cute kid and the simple chorus. It's a pretty undersung pop track that doesn't really descend into either heady erudite lyrics or completely braindead pop stereotypes. It's fairly solid if not a total breakout Summer Jam.

Rap's Champ: "Trophies" by Drake

I generally dislike Drake, even if he lit it up on SNL and generally appears to be pretty self-aware of his Canadian, half-Jewish, Degrassi: The Next Generation past that should add up to create the softest rapper in the game. That's all true, but Drake doesn't really care and in doing so, sort of diffuses the stereotype as well as the notion that any of that shit even matters. "Trophies" is a sweet song even if it's highly likely we won't be talking about it again this summer.

Smoking Under: "I Wanna Get Better" by Bleachers

This is a pretty fun song that's further supported by a pretty crazy video featuring actors like Retta and that guy from Outsourced. As far as Summer Jams go, there's no musical reason why this kind of lighthearted, catchy thumper shouldn't take off, but it just hasn't found traction yet. It needs a bit more airplay and interest outside of its niche market to become a true Summer Jam.

Love Me Do: "All of Me" by John Legend

"All of Me" is still out there, but it wasn't quite as dominant as it has been so far this summer. I still have less respect for this song than it probably deserves, it's not like it really transcends anything that Legend as ever done, even if it's getting a lot of attention. It is the best crooner love song we've gotten recently, though, but I can't picture jamming out to it at a Beach Party.

Welcome to the Machine: "Digital Witness" by St. Vincent

This is a spectacular track that has so far eluded really mainstream success, but I'm still pulling that those trumpets find their way onto mainstream radio play. Actually, I think Annie Clark is perfectly satisfied enjoying her own level of success distinct from the typical popular airwaves. It would be great to see this start to take off, although as it stands now, we may not be able to support it much longer.

One Prescription: "Fever" by The Black Keys

The Black Keys have had a bit of diminishing returns in regard to the quality of their alubms lately, and their latest, Turn Blue, doesn't really have the punch that El Camino or Brothers had. There is a lot of talk about them being one of the last really great contemporary Rock Bands, which is probably true, and everyone likes this shit, even if "Fever" doesn't really do much to distinguish itself from every other single in the Black Keys' catalogue.

Clueless: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX

I generally can't believe that Iggy Azalea's voice comes out of Iggy Azalea's mouth, but it's incredible. It actually took me until "Fancy" to buy into what she was doing, and Charlie XCX's bridges here just add to what could be an extremely potent Summer Jam. It's certainly my favorite song right now, and the video references to Clueless (1995) are sly, surreal, and awesome.

Next week...

No song has yet really broke out to take hold of Summer, so really, it's wide open, folks. I'm still looking at Pitbull, and maybe either "Wild Wild Love" or his World Cup Song to take off, but it's really pretty shitty. Other than that, I'm curious if "Wiggle," "Talk Dirty", or some other really misogynistic "Blurred Lines"-style track takes off. It's probably going to be a long summer.