13 July 2015

Summer Jam Week 10: Demi's Tooooo Cool

Here we are baby, really in the thick of things now. It's time again to countdown the hottest summer tracks of mid-July, and things are really burning up. This is really peak summer time, folks. People are slugging some vacations, soaking up the sun, living and loving life as they near that nexis point where they're gaining maximum distance both from school and to school. There were actually nearly too many hot jams to count this week, so this is a mere sampling, but stay tuned for the "Next week" section where I recount all the very worthy jams that I did not care about writing about:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Cool For the Summer" by Demi Lovato

Demi was kind of a force this week, announcing her bizarre freemium music celebrity game along with churning out this jam, which is totally completely non-distinctive, although it is about Summer. So that's cool. I like a lot of Demi Lovato songs, but this really doesn't add anything new to my life. Nothing was missing after listening to this song. Still, it's got Summer in the lyric, which is cool. Such a cool song. It's not a terrible summer picnic background song, and that may be the sum of her efforts here.

>Hemorrhaging: "Bad Blood" by Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar

I nearly left this off because I don't think it's had nearly the impact it should have, although its digital downloads are still high and there's been an excess of parodies and cultural reverberations that signify its extended penetration into our national consciousness. I guess that's alright, but I still think that it's brightly shone time in the sun is done.

Goin' For It: "Girl Crush" by Little Big Town

I didn't know that Danica Patrick had a band. But really this is a surprisingly incisive soft little jam that's totally rad to spin on a chilled out Summer Afternoon. It's also a nice lesbian country jam which seems counter-intuitive for most of country's followers, which makes it an odd little niche track that I at least really enjoy. My scientific impression from reading the YouTube comments are an odd mix of support, thoughtful analysis, subjective implication of sexual or transgender fascination or politics, and minimal out and out hate speech. 2015! Equality! Country songs!

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: "Lean On" by Major Lazer & DJ Snake ft. M0

You know, I never really watched this video before today - why is it super-Indian? Who knows, but I'm still loving that this jam is surging pretty well right now. It might even break into the top spot! Not bloody likely, but this was one of my personal favorite jams like two months ago, so I'm down. My only fault now is the fact that it had already run its course in my head and now it seems like everyone else is catching on, so I think that it's old news when everyone else is like "mad hot, yo!"

Break Yo Legs: "Watch Me" by Silentó

Ya'll already know who it is!! "Watch Me" is getting pretty huge actually. I imagine it's got to be popular at Summer Weddings due to its instant ghetto-dance worthy simple instructional lyrics and incredible ability to appeal to all ages. Seriously, this is like a little kid fun dance video, a community dance video, and even something that old white women shouldn't have that much problem doing. It's all around solid and also provides for good car dancing.

Pom Wonderful: "Cheerleader" by OMI

Crushing it again is OMI, who may just have the slickest jam of the summer. What can I say, white people love reggae but usually can't get past all the references to Jah and the African Slave Trade. Faux-reggae is proving to be a huge market for bumpin Summer Jams. I'm down. This song is great, with the caveat that it's more pop than reggae. But fun is fun.

What? "Worth It" by Fifth Harmony ft. Kid Ink

Listen, I don't understand Fifth Harmony anymore. They're proving to have more staying power than most shitty Simon Cowell-produced shallow pop girl groups and after quite a few weeks of not doing anything, this song was everywhere again this week. My curiosity was even peaked enough to look up these broads. None of them are white, somehow, and that one hot one is even Tongan or something. The hottest one is 22, though, and because you wanted to know, yes, two of them were 17 when they shot this video. So congrats on your masturbating. I'm also unsure why they even featured Kid Ink, besides the obvious currently accepted pop single format. He's by far the worst part of this song and doesn't feel necessary at all.

The Crownless Again? "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon

It might be a done deal by now. I think it's safe to call it for "Shut Up and Dance." I don't know how this happened, actually. I just keep hearing this song and it also tends to dominate the cultural landscape. Billboard doesn't seem to reflect that, so maybe I'm just tuning into it more than the average mortal man, but for one more week at least, it reigns supreme. You know, we do have seven more weeks left, including all of August, which offers plenty of shake-ups, so who knows?!

Next week...

I felt really bad about leaving off some possible Hot Jam candidates along with a few staples. "C U Again" at this point is a given, although it wasn't too ubiquitous in my life this week. Beyond that, we ought to talk about Rachel Platten's "Fight Song," which is doing better and better. It was tough axing Selena Gomez's "Good For You" because that might be my favorite song right now and Nicki's "Hey Mama" which probably deserved a spot here. Other than that, Future came out with "Blow a Bag" which I almost included, but it kind of sucked, and Natalie La Rose featured Fetty Wap in what has to be the hottest artist collabo right now in "Around the World" which also kind of sucked.

So that's it. Who do you think deserves to be listed next week? Stay tuned!

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