14 June 2011

The Long Halloween Vol. II: Flag Day

Well folks, it's Flag Day. Oh Flag Day. This is really a pretty cool holiday, we honour the flag and our national colours with the respect it deserves for some reason and in return we...get to not look unpatriotic. Hooray! It's tough to find a good series of Flag Day movies or traditions but there is this significant mention:



See? Flag Day is a great day to give jets to your son. Reno 911!: Miami (2007) is clearly making fun of Flag Day as it's a pretty weird holiday to give anyone a gift this big on. Or give any gift on. So you can watch Reno 911!: Miami today, that should get you into a lovely Flag Day gift-giving mood.

Really any patriotic flick will do, especially ones involving the Flag. I can think of Flags of Our Fathers (2006) or The Patriot (2000), which features no American Actors in leading roles. There's also a lot of American Flag Iconography in Patton (1970), with George C. Scott's famous speech. Just about any of the Rocky movies will do but Rocky IV (1985) might be your best bet here.

Just look at this to the right here. Stallone just bathes himself in Old Glory. There aren't really a lot of movies that showcase the flag itself as a center of attention or distinct personality but these are all films that stand for the same kinds of things the Flag stands for. And that's the only thing that makes the Flag special at all. It's just some cloth, really. It's what the Flag stands for that makes it special. That's why there's a lot of flag burners who have got too much freedom and it should be legal for policemen to beat 'em. That bill is ruthless, man.

So how can you celebrate Flag Day? You should eat Hot Dogs and Beer and watch Patton. That should just about do it. Any good American holiday is fit for Hot Dogs and Beer. It's the same for Independence Day, same for Labour Day, same for...Christmas. Salute the Flag, maybe say a pledge or two and relax within this great nation of ours.

Why is Flag Day June's only fucking holiday? I'm going to have to pull Flag Day posts out of my ass for years to come. You could celebrate Father's Day I guess. Go watch World's Greatest Dad (2009) and eat some Hot Dogs and Beer. That really works for any of these Summer Bonding Moments.

Land of the Free!

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