27 June 2011

Summer Jam 2011: June 27 Winners

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the last June edition of the Road to Summer Jam 2011. This week was really crazy. With school ending for the wee tots all over the country and weddings and graduations exploding all over the place it's time to find that distinctive song that we'll always remember. Like for my High School Graduation all we listened to was Usher's "Yeah" and Petey Pablo's "Freek-A-Leek" on repeat all night while playing Spider-Man 2 (2004). Crap, that sucks! Anyway, what will be the anthem for today's crack and sex addled generation? Take a listen:

#8: "The Show Goes On" by Lupe Fiasco

Lupe's back this week! Despite some questionable comments regarding Obama his track is still pretty hot. The cat has got some politically charged lyrics and speech that goes beyond the typical relegation of pop stars. Naturally it's scary when someone like Lupe speaks up when he's supposed to just put out dance singles and trut around for his audience. That is to say, what's most terrifying is still a nigga with a brain.

#7: "Just Can't Get Enough" by the Black Eyed Peas

This track is clearly sliding a bit although in cities like mine it's still everywhere. It takes a bit longer for tracks to debut and then meltdown out here and so our trends don't always follow the pulse of New York or LA. That said, we can assume that this is the scenario in comparable cities, which form the majority of the country, so for many of you out there a song like "Just Can't Get Enough" is still a viable Summer Jam. That being said, I don't think we'll see it up here much longer. I have far superior articulation when composing this without a hangover.

#6: "Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars

Any surprise? "Lazy Song" has soaked up the #6 spot for four out of the seven weeks of the Jam so far. It has this very stable niche of being pretty popular but not popular enough to be overplayed and burn out. It's just enough effort to be successful. Again, the meta of "Lazy Song" is awesome, even its fame is lazy.

#5: "Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj

This track is starting to explode. Every week this song has been on the countdown it has been listed higher than the week before. It's such a playful song and the first since her smash "Your Love" last year in which she displays both her singing and rapping talent flawlessly in one track but this time at a higher summer tempo and with less Auto-Tune. It's actually not even on the regular release of Pink Friday (2010), instead it's a deluxe edition bonus track. Actually she's got some of her best tracks as bonus releases, including "Girls Fall Like Dominoes." Anyway, "Super Bass" is set to keep rising.

#4: "The Edge of Glory" by Lady GaGa

This song is doing what it needs to. I was sick of "Bad Romance" after my 194th listen and got sick of "Judas" after my...1st. "The Edge of Glory" is growing on me like "Just Dance" and "Poker Face" which I think remain her best tracks. I like GaGa's pop edge over that experimental screeching bullshit. GaGa needs to be a Pop Icon and this is her means to it rather than something as controversial as "Judas," which by the way, the thing about "Judas" is that no one cared about its controversy because it really isn't that good of a song. So in that case instead of something brilliant we just got this kind of flustered call for attention. It's like how no one complains about crazy people on street corners because they scream out for attention but by the next block you've forgotten. It's not "Like a Prayer," which was controversial because people cared about it. Who cares about "Judas?" Now, "The Edge of Glory" is the kind of song that can get some positive attention and steer GaGa in the direction she needs to be in.

#3: "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele

She is still #1 on the Billboard Charts but Adele just isn't as hot as she was a couple weeks ago. She's not the greatest, hippest thing on the radio anymore and when we're figuring out a Summer Jam it's ALWAYS HOT BABY!! I dip her down here because there are just too many good bouncing dance jams for Graduations and Weddings this weekend. We gotta get down and dirty, kid and Adele's moaning whiny siren ain't cuttin' it. That said, she isn't going anywhere.

#2: "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO ft.Lauren Bennett & GoonRock

This song has had a huge ascension close to the top of the Winners List in the past four weeks. THIS is the kind of song that makes you want to grab some dick or titties and take it on a fucking wet adventure. Alright, it's really not that sexy (might I suggest some "Motivation" by Kelly Rowland to fill that hole. Ahem). But Party Rock Anthem is the anthem for both Partying and Rocking. That's good for something as it the perfect no-name one-hit wonder for whoever the hell any of these people are, who by the way, are having a fabulous time in their music video. Summer Fun baby, Happy Graduation, feel somebody.

#1: "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull ft. Ne-Yo, AfroJack & Nayer

I have to cut and paste the artist list for the Top Two songs this week because they're so filled with no-name, no-talent musical hacks. Pitbull is everywhere though and the rapid stock of this track shows that. This is a very stupid song and I hate Pitbull. He tends to put out tons of crap all the time and has so many songs that are just the same thing over and over again. He just raps about wooing chicks in order to fill girls with some fantasy of banging this bald ugly Cuban and inspire guys to wear club polos and get chicks pregnant. That's probably a stretch but whenever I hear his voice I just think of that.This is only the third song to hit #1 this year (there were only seven for all of last year) so we'll see where he lands in the next few weeks.

So you may obviously notice a big omission, no "E.T." this week. "E.T" is fading fast, I haven't heard it on the radio much at all and her spot at #5 on the Hot 100 seems like a formality more than anything. Besides, "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F)" shot up to #4, meaning that Katy Perry will go much longer than a year with some track in the Billboard Top Five. I haven't heard that enough to call it a Jam, but I do really want to talk about Rebecca Black in this video, don't worry it'll be soon.

In other news, anyone notice a new Britney video that came out on Wednesday? The song is whatever and although she turns 30 this year it seems that she still can't get out of that baby voice, what the hell. There is a Half Baked (1998) reference within the first 30 seconds and she flashes a ginger tho. Just watch. I also wanted to mention that Jack Johnson's "From the Clouds" could be a good alternative Summer Jam, kind of like "Lay me Down" from the Dirty Heads last year. Very peaceful, man. He's the mellow guy!

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