24 August 2015

Summer Jam Week 16: Hailee and Ricky Offer a Random Weekend

We're coming down to the wire now, folks, and I can say that this weekend is full of crazy tracks that have popped out of no where and will have no chance at either becoming Great Summer Jams or make any kind of thoughtful impact on our race at large. But we're still dealing with a fairly spicy lot, so let's dive in:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Love Myself" by Hailee Steinfeld



Hailee Steinfeld has sort of a singing talent, and seems to be using decent exposure in Pitch Perfect 2 (2015) to blast this jam off. It's a mildly fresh song, but it also sounds a lot like every other pop song I've ever heard. She should probably stick with acting, although it's getting to be a while since she impressed everybody holding her own against Jeff Bridges in True Grit (2011). I could get behind her charisma and funness, but she needs a better song to fuel a pop singing career.

Tricky Ricky: "La Mordita" by Ricky Martin

When was the last time you heard anything about Ricky Martin? I'm surprised he's still alive. He's apparently just making Spanish music or something, so who cares. This is a hot jam, and you can certainly jam in the Summer to this hot beat, but it's also totally in Spanish, which is a little rough. Ricky's not looking too bad, but let's face it, this is no "She Bangs." Did he get royalties from William Hung? Did William Hung ever realize that he was a joke? These are questions we'll never have answered.

Jeep Driving Music: "Renegades" by X Ambassadors

This track mostly makes another appearance this week after being featured repeatedly in commercials for the 2015 Jeep Renegade. It's really a perfect match I guess, although the most on the nose of any song used in an advertisement ever. This is decent wuss rock, though, and its popularity deserves this additional acknowledgement. And i skipped the official video because it's totes depressing and has a lot of weird talking in it.

Back Again: "Bad Blood" by Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar

Returning from the Summer Jam Grave is "Bad Blood" which had a bit of an uptick this week for some reason. I tended to hear it a good amount, and people were just talking about it, naturally in anticipation of the VMAs. It's totally insane and iconic by now, although we've basically come full circle in ironic appreciation of Tay Sway's magnum opus here.

Drool for the Bummer: "Cool for the Summer" by Demi Lovato

I swear I'm going to stop pretending this is a real Summer Jam really soon. I don't know, I tend to get addicted to this the more I see it, probably just because of that one sweaty shot of Demi's butt that attracts me hard. It's really not as bad a song as I trashed it when it first came out, but it has just not made any kind of impact at all in any way. I still think that if this had dropped in May or June, you know, when the Summer started, it would have made a bigger splash. I get the impression that Demi wanted this to be really big, that jam that would push her to the next level of Diva Superstardom, but that's just not happening.

Making You Feel Weird and Dirty: "Good for You" by Selena Gomez ft. A$AP Rocky

I literally cannot watch this video. I feel extremely pervy that this 10-year old looking girl is writhing around all sexily and singing a pretty seductive song, steeped in irony as it may be. And yes, I know that Gomez is 23, but damn, this chick needs to age at some point, right? I still like this jam a lot, and it's probably one of my favorite personal tracks of the Summer. She dropped a new vid this week, which features a little more A$AP Rocky, which is nothing but awesome.

Human Scorch: "Can't Feel My Face" by The Weeknd

Another strong showing by The Weeknd, who is a solid candidate for Best Summer Ever. I think he'll blow up like other recent R&B wuss singers like Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith, although my impression of him is one of far more apathy than either of those singers who are admittedly pretty apathetic to the general idea of fame. I'm excited for what else he can produce, and if his Beyonce set is any indication, it'll be pretty sweet.

Listen Me: "Watch Me" by Silentó

See, this kid is having the Best Summer Ever. Born in 1998, by the way, which is all kinds of stupid. "Watch Me" is actually killing it in a late Summer Run, and if any Jam has a shot at hanging with "Bad Blood" and "Shut Up and Dance" and making this a three-way race, it's this kid. Also thanks to this jam every white person in America knows how to do the Stanky Leg. I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Next week...

The big question now as we have two weeks left in our amazing 18-week Summer, is whether or not "Watch Me" can hold on and continue to make a case for itself. Other than that, it's basically time for any other Jam to reinforce its position and add a few more weeks to solidify Jamhood. It's coming down to the wire - stay tuned!

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