29 December 2017

2017 In the Ground: Movie Moments

We'll get to our official Top 10 very soon, but today it's time to recount all the great singular moments that happened on screen this year. This is oftentimes a nice way to highlight fucked up crazy shit that happened in otherwise terrible films, and this year is no different. There was a lot of zaniness on screen this year that deserves a shout-out. Of course some of these were actually pivotal moments in big great films. Mostly, though, this is properly ridiculous. Here are my fifteen favourite scenes:

Justice League: Flash vs Superman

Listen, there's one good moment in Justice League, and you won't find it acknowledged anywhere else. His whole resurrection is dubious, but that one little eye movement and Ezra Miller's "Oh shit!" face is incredible subtlety in a movie otherwise devoid of it.

A Ghost Story: Rooney Mara eats a pie

You ever want to watch Rooney Mara eat a pie for five minutes? Here ya go! A Ghost Story is all about making us feel Casey Affleck with a Sheet over his Head's eternal ennui and impotence, and there's no better scene in this film then watching someone you love eat a pie while unable to express the most basic communication. It's a parable for a lot of things, and I should love this movie because it does what it wants to do so well. Still...fuck that's a long time to watch someone eat pie.

IT: Bye Bye Georgie

This may not be the most memeable scene in the film, but certainly the most iconic. It somehow improves on dread from the 1990 Tim Curry version, and carries that feeling on for the rest of its run time. No other scene this year so thoroughly demonstrated everything the following movie was going to be.

Logan: "Someone has come along."

I couldn't find the scene because it's otherwise unimpressive in a film filled with knife-hands getting jammed through goons' heads, but whenever I think back to this film I remember this line. It means a lot for your everyday life - anyone can be a hero if they just choose to be instead of figuring someone else will do it. This or the dinner scene, exceptional for its peacefulness, not its violence, is where this movie shines.

The Fate of the Furious: Jailbreak

Hard pick between this or Jason Statham on a plane with a quiet baby, but in a film that somehow finally found a way to push its ridiculousness past the breaking point (misunderstanding Dom Toretto was a big one), this was a thrill.

Atomic Blonde: Stairwell Fight

There's a lot of incredible action scenes in Atomic Blonde that surround a plot that's thin as hell. None are better than this single-take (or cleverly edited) stairwell battle where you feel every hit, bruise, and panted breath more than any other flick in recent memory.

The Bad BatchBye Bye Arm

I still don't totally know how I feel about The Bad Batch, but I do know one thing - when Arlen loses an arm to cannibals near the beginning of the film it's a gross, sickening, uncomfortable moment in every possible way. Especially because her eventual love interest wants to eat it. This movie is fucked up.

Get Out: The Sunken Place

Get Out teeters on the edge of thriller/family drama for ages until it hits this scene, then suddenly the rug is pulled out and we're in full-blown horror, people. Instantly iconic and forever locked into one of 2017's best films. This is everything.

Thor: Ragnarok: Anytime "Immigrant Song" Plays

There's again no good link here - but as a rare case of actually getting the rights to Led Zep jam, after appearing in the trailer, "Immigrant Song" blasts first when Thor and Mjolner fuck up Surtur's day down in Muspelheim, and then comes again full circle when he full accepts his powers and lights up the world against Hela's minions. And that's not even the best part - Valkyrie struts like a fucking boss silhouetted by the Grandmaster Jeff Goldbum's Firework Orgy Ship. That sentence would seem really strange in any other movie.

War of the Planet of the Apes: Shit Throwing

At the end of all things, a decidedly underrated film, but it took us over fifty years to finally get here. Finally, FINALLY we have some apes flinging feces around. I loved it. And it served a story purpose!

Wonder Woman: No Man's Land

This was an early contender for Scene of the Year, and it's still breathtaking. Everything is perfect. We see the stakes, we hear the stakes as Diana and Steve debate, we see Diana's character full of love and compassion, that it fuels her strength rather than makes her soft. We, and the rest of the characters, too, then see Diana become Wonder Woman in full glorious battle attire. The music swells and she does what no man cannot while it symbolically and thematically becomes the greatest metaphor for Fuck You 2017.

Spider-Man Homecoming: The Father Talk

I genuinely did not see this coming. This was an amazing twist that totally makes every coincidence in this movie work. There's actually a really subtle moment about two minutes into this clip - the light turns green, lighting up Mike Keaton's face green in Vulture-y glory (green might as well be a color symbolizing all Spider-Villains [Goblin, Lizard, Scorpion, Mysterio, Electro, Sandman, Doc Ock - it contrasts really well]), as his voice takes a sinister turn while simultaneously showing that he's no longer paying attention to the road or his surroundings. From there it's out in the open and the already contentious boyfriend / father relationship is exasperated to its most extreme. Like Logan, a high-budget superhero film's best scene comes down to a simple conversation.

Blade Runner 2049: Holo-Orgy

There's probably some better scenes, but none that made me truly sit and wonder how the hell they did it. Having Ana de Armas in a sex scene helps. It's also weird as fuck. Ryan Gosling is put on leave after finding out he might be the Dream Child and failing his base test. His whole world's perspective is shattered and he comes home to a blurry orgy with his Google Home and a prostitute. Actually, this should be higher.

Girls Trip: Grapefruit

So this starts off easy enough. Simple relationship troubles. And even as Tiffany Haddish begins describing the grapefruit it seems easy enough. When she begins demonstrating, though, that's when all hell breaks loose and we meet our new breakout star of 2017.

Transformers: The Last Knight: Mark Wahlberg's Sword

That's right, baby! We went there. You want to talk about the most insane, moronic moment in film history? We've got ancient Medieval Knight Transformers about to execute a brainwashed Optimus Prime, but not so fast! Here comes Mark Wahlberg with a sword that somehow fucking deflects a 40 foot robot. I laughed outloud in the theater. No one saw this bloated mess, which is too bad, because this should have been a meme.

What are your favourite movie moments this year?!

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