20 February 2012

The Long Halloween Vol. III: President's Day

Here we are again to the third installment of The Long Halloween, NMW's yearlong look at different movies to watch on different holidays each month. After years of going through the major ones though, we found that was just too easy. This year we're going for the more Obscure Holidays and so today we celebrate President's Day. Let's take a look at Abe and George's Greatest Hits:

George Washington:
There has been a surprising lack of cultural appearances by George over the years. He showed up in Mel Gibson's The Patriot (2000) as well in the TV Movie The Crossing (2000), played by Jeff Daniels for some reason. He was also the central figure in an episode of Masters of Horror, "The Washingtonians," where it is revealed that he was actually a cannibal at Valley Forge. He also battled the evil Hans Sprungfeld in The Simpsons episode "Lisa the Iconoclast" (S7;E16). Of course, everyone knows the best incarnation of our First President:

The important thing about George is how honorific we are of him. He was the founder of our nation, for goodness sake. The cat never told a lie, chopped down as many trees as he wanted, and had a ridiculous killing spree of British Children. The Cox & Combes' thing really exaggerates the mythical status Washington has in our minds. It's hard to argue against the video. How can you say he didn't make love like an eagle falling out of the sky? Washington is one badass mother, and you better do what he says.

Abraham Lincoln:
Soon with both Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) and Lincoln (2012), we'll have plenty of good President's Day flicks to enjoy. Of course, we do still have the novel version. Still, unlike George, Abe appears just about everywhere. It's part of their physical appeal. Lincoln is still our tallest president (6'4"), and his gangly, weird limbs, ugly mug and chinstrap beard and stovepipe hat, which apparently no one else in history ever wore, makes him simultaneously distinctive and pretty goofy. There are tons of cultural depictions but some of his best include Rap Battles with Chuck Norris, Lightsaber Battles with George W. Bush, and Drunk History with Frederick Douglass.

He's also had some memorable appearances as a Ghost on The Venture Bros. and a convenient way to hide a Dan Aykroyd's giant coned head in Coneheads (1993). His statue even terrorized the Super Best Friends on South Park. These are terrible. His definitive appearance has to be in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989), which contains some true words of wisdom - "Be excellent to each other." That ought to satisfy your Presidential craving for now.

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