14 August 2017

Summer Jam Week 14: Weird Galactic Tunes. LIVE!

A week of reckoning is upon us all! It's with great excitement that we bring you yet another seven days of sunshiney fun and the hottest jams around. These last few weeks are critical for those tracks trying to get one more final push into 2017 Pop Relevancy. Let's dig in!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Guardian Inferno" by Zardu Hasselfrau

So yeah, this is basically just marketing. But it rules so much. It's merely a re-purposed Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) theme into a pop disco hit. I didn't even pick up on the entire cast showing up until Karen Gillen's obvious face appears. Even Zoe Saldana just seemed obscured to me, mostly through the shitty 70s video filters. It's amazing getting the entire cast to stoop to this, and everyone, especially Pom Klementieff looks like they're having the time of their lives. I really just wanted to say the name Pom Klementieff, which is more bizarre than any galactic name. Wonder Woman (2017) just beat Guardians for superhero movie gross of the year, but this is a solid attempt at regaining relevancy.

Jamming Continues: "Strobelite" by Gorillaz

Humanz has been a little underrated as the Album of the Summer, but that's also because although it's pretty great, it's not really at Plastic Beach levels. Anyway, this vid dropped this week for probably the second-catchiest jam on the album. I'm weirdly weirded out by grown up, sexy Noodle since I mostly think of her as the child guitar prodigy from their self-titled debut, but I'm sure that's more just me being steeped in fake Gorillaz history. It's also kind of awkward just because of its cartoon-ness interacting with the real world and not really in character here, actually.

Fuckin with My Eyes Closed: "Body Like a Backroad" by Sam Hunt

Sure, this is back. Or maybe it never really left. Sam Hunt's massive crossover hit is making a great case for itself. I am infinitely curious to tally up the final numbers when this all shakes out. At this point we've got the candidates pretty well set but who will be the champ?! This remains a solid country tune, which is an insane thing that I never thought I'd type.

Sad Mouse: "That's What I Like" by Bruno Mars

This is another song that's come and gone all summer, and pretty much peaked far too early to be a real contender, but it's still had some flashes here and there. This week was one of those flashes for sure and it seemed like it popped up everywhere. What's cool is that it's at that point in its lifetime when everyone knows every word, so when it comes on during your party it's a true jam.

Giggle Fits: "Woman" by Ke$ha

This is still probably my favourite non-disco song of the week, but even though it wasn't and likely won't get much radio time, "Woman" was a big part of my life. Not #1 anymore, but a four or five week late run here could do some damage if she basically wins out. Since my ranking each week is so damn random, anyone can jump in. Let's go, Ke$h!

Scotch and Cherry Coke: "Stay" by Zedd ft. Alessia Cara

There's a solid competition this whole summer between this, "Issues" and "It Ain't Me" for EDM-ish girl pop jam. "Stay" has stayed, though, and remains a solid tune for at least one more week. The others are kind of done, but could still come back. "Issues" maybe had the best run out of all of them already, though. Will it be enough!?

1D Back in 2020: "Slow Hands" by Niall Horan

I'm decently proud of my complete lack of One Direction knowledge - apparently Niall is a member? Cool. "Slow Hands" is a solid jam and one of the better tunes to come out of that break-up. I was reading about how 1D has all these Beatles-esque solo projects out now. That's not remotely accurate, but this song has done a fine job this summer.

#1 With a Bullet: "Despacito" by Bieber and the Mexicans

"Despacito" actually might be putting everyone else to shame. The clear winner this week, this track doesn't really show any signs of slowing down. A cool tropical fusion jam featuring primarily Spanish singing? Why isn't this the Song of Every Summer?! There are still a few more weeks for sure, but for now, it's looking good for the Biebs.

Next week...

There's a lot that can happen here, folks. Ed Sheeran and Coldplay are still out there doing things that I basically just ignored this week because they suck. And you know, as the world basically descends into hell and chaos (oh hell, we've been on a rough road for a while now), we can all bask in the glory of Fifth Harmony moving on without Camilla Cabello.

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