06 June 2022

Summer Jam 2022 - the Modes of May!

That's right! You thought it was dead! But we have to acknowledge our tasty summer jams somehow, even if it's not a weekly recount of our famously least-clicked articles ever. This is the first summer since 2010 that we haven't done this crap and it feels weird. But not that weird. That was a slog. So let's just recount once a month the Top Eight Cherriest Jams and by the end of Summer we'll have a big list! Or something!

And no, we're not including "Running Up That Hill."

HOT Jam of the Month:

Let's kick this off right! I dig the huge wave of badass girl rappers who can get some music videos out there these days. Thanks, Nicki Minaj and Cardi B. They're just my jam. I dug this and it's definitely not the last one on this list. This sounds like a late 90s R&B jam, but with a little more bite. It's not really a summer jam contender or anything, but it's pretty fun.

I wonder what Dua Lipa thinks of this track? It's not even the most prominent Jack Harlow song of the month, but it's my favorite. And around here that's what counts, baby! I dig the flow even if Harlow is kind of a forgettable performer. He makes songs, which is cool.

Sheeran is terrible but I really like Camila. This song is a fair attempt by both, neither of whom are strangers to the Summer Throne. This didn't really light too much up so far, but was entertaining enough to be a mid-to-low level summer fling. It doesn't really stand out to become a real game changing it, but yeah, it exists. We got a bit of those. Maybe that's why "Big Dick Energy" has exploded in my brain so hard.

I'd like to see more pandemic songs come out, especially from Kendrick Lamar. I know, I know, we've been getting it for the past two years, but what's even more fun than a pandemic that elucidates and exacerbates system racism and economic inequality is the fun of living in all the exposed shit we now have. And it's got a good beat.

Here's that bigger Jack Harlow song. It feels weird to me that we're bringing back songs from my...jeez, not even youth to sample. I was like a 20 year old man when "Glamorous" dropped in 2006. I like what Harlow does with the sample here, although it's clearly not a better song. It's not even that D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S. We need our songs to be weirder.

Starfox himself, Harry Styles comes back, another well trod Summer Veteran. I'm not super into this one. It kind of feels like another background song that's been around forever but no actually it's new or whatever. It's very mournful. I need a little more salsa in my summer jam! People like it, it'll be around for a while.

I'm still proud of breaking Lizzo here back in like 2018 and by now she's an old Summer Jam vet! This is like, old later day Lizzo now. She had her prime in the middle, and now she's ready to cement her legacy. Later Lizzo. She's lost none of the fiery passion that broke her through to the mainstream and this jazz-infused beat is prime for summer lovin.

My personal pick for song of the month - the most innovative, sexy, dramatic, and contemporary jam! It flows and spills over itself oozing with well, big dick energy. I can get behind it. I'm just being honest. It hasn't totally blown up the charts, but it's still doing well enough. I'd like to see it push higher, but my guess is it remains a mid-tier Summer Stunner.

Almost there...

Lady GaGa made the Top Gun soundtrack for some reason, but I don't think her track is that great. She can somehow pull off American Pride Aviators as much as being a Gay Icon, though. I guess that's not a stretch for Top Gun. Justin Bieber, Post Malone, Future, Bad Bunny, Imagine Dragons, and a Dua Lipa / Megan Thee Stallion combo were all vying for a piece of the pie this month. But they ain't got it! Haha! Let's do this again in a few weeks.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails