I don't know why it happened. I don't know how it happened. Somehow for some reason Beavis and Butt-Head has returned to television. In 1993 when MTV first put the program on the air it seemed to fit in well with its counter-culture offerings that appealed to a Generation X that was seeking identity. In the fourteen years since MTV aired the last episode of its original run though, the station seems to have changed dramatically. It's filled with sappy True Life episodes, strangescriptedshows that do not remotely come close to emulating the current youth experience and of course, Jersey Shore. Beavis and Butt-Head no longer feels synchronous with this kind of programming. Or does it?
In 1993 MTV's biggest shows included Yo! MTV Raps, The State, The Jon Stewart Show and The Real World. I suppose things have changed quite a bit, haven't they. MTV somehow in the past decade turned itself around from an alternative rock and grunge fueled edgy counter-cultural station to a postmodern, overly ironic, Twilight-catering counter-cultural station. They've always had these vestiges of their former punkness though, like Human Giant and the Jackass or Celebrity Deathmatch specials that pop up here and there. It's difficult to see where this audience went though. MTV no longer caters to Fuck-You Culture.
At any rate, amidst the inexplicable permutations of the television world, Beavis and Butt-Head took over the Thursday Night, 10 pm spot immediately after Jersey Shore concluded and wouldn't you know it, it's a fantastic hit as well. It makes me feel like I actually don't understand any demographics at all. I usually just look at myself, I'm a young, low brow male interested in counter-culture and anti-social programming with a lot of humour - at 10 pm on Thursdays Cable sees Beavis and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia compete head-to-head but there isn't really a winner and loser. They go 1-2. I can only surmise that everyone in my demographic must do the same as I do - DVR one of the shows and watch it immediately after the other finishes.
But this sidesteps the greater point - why is the same MTV audience who turns into Jersey Shore refusing to turn off Beavis? Or is MTV winning back the viewers it has been turning over for the past decade? I would guess that it speaks to the Jersey Shore audience more than the Beavis audience. We need to understand what is really happening here. The simple fact is that people turn into Jersey Shore to make fun of it and then turn into Beavis and Butt-Head to watch them make fun of it (See also). It transitions from sympathetic viewing to empathetic viewing.
Also not updated is this clear predecessor to Hank Hill
What's great about this show is how blatantly its creator, Mike Judge has striven to make it stand out even more in its new time period. The show is absolute nostalgia. The animation is not updated, nor are the central characters' AC/DC and Metallica shirts. I wonder if half of the regular MTV youth audience now even knows what Metallica is (besides a whiny old rockband who doesn't like people stealing their music). Beavis and Butt-Head watch new music videos and shows on their rabbit ear TV and still continually search for porn, seemingly unaware that hell, they could get it on their phones now if they wanted to. It has hit the ground running since its departure; it almost dares its viewers not to watch, to instead change the channel to something brighter, faster or cleaner to look at (perhaps the atrocious Good Vibes program that follows it).
Beavis and Butt-Head follows this slice-of-life reality. The viewer gets the impression that in between the given escapades in an episode the characters just go back to their house and watch television. It's a daring concept that works because of the brutal hilarity that follows. The characters are so suffocatingly dumb that they are immune to pain or humiliation on the path towards their ignoble goals - typically some form of scoring with chicks. What's more surprising than the program's return to the airwaves is that it could return so authentically to its original premise.
So get ready for some anti-MTV action that in a grand ironic sense is...MTV action tonight at 10 pm EST - it's Beavis and Butt-Head.
I could really do a post every week about this show. Everything about it is so simultaneously intriguing and disturbing. It's like a train crash full of Tigers and Anacondas, it's absolute horrifying carnage and mayhem but you can't just look away. You need to see who's going to strangle and maul who. It's a fascinating development. This has been an issue throughout the run of Jersey Shore, but the last few weeks and this season in particular have driven me to this post. The Alcoholism is rampant. I'm not talking about jokey partying "alcoholism." There are some serious issues that the Cast of this show should be dealing with.
This first really came to my attention during "Crime and Punishment" (S4;E4) which featured Cast Member Deena getting typically horribly smashed and pulled "the robbery" (#11)on housemate Vinny's Girl. Getting drunk enough to be a little bi-curious is one thing, there's nothing really wrong with that, but the morning after Deena has a complete breakdown and admits that she changes and can't control herself when intoxicated. It feels like an intervention. All her closest friends are there and Pauly D actually confronts her about changing. The fact that this is happening on Jersey Shore gives it a strange vibe, not least because they're very quickly back to the party.
The Women on the show seem to demonstrate the most of the Alcoholic Behaviour (well, them and Ronnie). The Men also get hammered but they tend to be able to control themselves better when the night gets down to it, likely because they want to stay rational enough to bring home a girl and bang her. Of course, this may have to do with careful editing than anything, but the stories present themselves with increasingly Alcoholic Tendencies from Deena, Snooki, Sammi and Ronnie. JWOWW doesn't often get too plastered; she's more often the sole voice of any reason in the house.
Deena and Snooki tend to earn the most pity. Snooki had her moment in "Where's the Beach?" (S3;E3) when she was arrested for public intoxication (during the day) while wandering around the Jersey Beach (The Episode Title is derived from her drunkenly screaming "WHERE'S THE BEACH?" while literally staring at it). She also did a lot of secret drinking at her place of employment that season, which has carried on to Season 4 in Italy. Hiding wine at work and drinking it on the job because you don't know how else to get through the day isn't funny. On a show purporting to be reality, it's a problem.
But this is all entertainment. It's voyeur. We get pleasure in the self-destruction of these people, facilitated by the fact that watching the show is like looking at a zoo. The characters are really despicable but within their own culture they're heroes, which makes it difficult to empathize with them. These creatures are free to go on and destroy themselves because to much of us they aren't really people. They may deserve their fate (which, to be fair, they carve out for themselves). There emerges an ethics issue when we not only allow their self-destruction but the MTV producers and cameramen also allow it to happen - all for the sake of profit. It's not like Jackass which featured the same kind of pain-for-pleasure entertainment, but I think as that show also demonstrated some real aftermath and reactions to the nuttiness, as well as very real consequences for one of its principal characters. This and the general charm and innocent yet immature vibe that show exuded separates it from other voyeur reality television. There's also the simple fact that we're laughing at the Cast's lives in Jersey Shore, Jackass involved a series of heavily pre-planned stunts, surely not their daily activities.
There is a sickness to Jersey Shore. With The Situation's recent mishap ("And The Wall Won," S4;E5) not allowing him to go out for a week we truly get to see what there is to do in this house without alcohol. Nothing. MTV sets up these situations for the Cast to drink dangerously and make terrible decisions. I'd bet they even cover the bills. It's also interesting that the only visible passage of time is their traditional Sunday Night Dinner, which happens in random episodes. There is no other indication of what day it might be, despite the appearance of constant partying. It's an incredible ability to actually exist without the distinction of days. Can you imagine? For it to really truly not matter what day of the week it is? What pieces of shit. Again, a lot of this occurs through creative editing, but it's certainly an indication of how much of their lives can be dedicated to drinking during this period.
So needless to say, I am far from an anti-drinking advocate. I get a little silly all the time. There exists in this House, however, the inability to survive without Alcohol in a few of the Cast Members. Within this mental realm MTV has poured gallons upon gallons of liquor in the interest of creating interesting television in order to achieve high ratings and make lots of money. There's something fundamentally wrong there, and one of the many reasons why this is one of the worst shows ever created by Humans on Planet Earth.
Another Season of Jersey Shore is upon us, folks. Whether you love this show because you identify with the characters, love to mock them or just want to fit in, Shore is here to stay. You may also despise this program for hundreds of plausible reasons. It's an exercise in low entertainment. Still, especially when watching this season take place in Florence, Italy, I found the distinctive culture of the show growing in intrigue. Let's for a moment, examine what makes Jersey tic:
Introducing Pauly D - the only reason to come back next week.
There are plenty of Microcultures in this country. That is, relatively small pockets or groups of people that share a similar outlook on life or general habits and ways of doing things. Miami, Florida culture is going to be very different than Cleveland, Ohio culture. Probably better for basketball playing. Likewise there's distinct Hipster Culture, Tween Culture, even Rugged Lumberjack Culture. It's not often that these people clash with each other, but when they do there may be tension, simply because someone immersed in Twilight Culture may treat people differently than someone immersed in Golden Girls Culture. It's not like one is wrong or better than another, it's just different.
Then there's Jersey Culture. I don't know why MTV picked this pocket of East Coast Trash to create a reality show around, but whatever the reason it clicked and it's now Cable's Highest Rated show. What the hell? There are a handful of these shows like, the Real Housewives of New Jersey or whatever, but Jersey Shore is the big focal point here, providing a model of acting for an entire generation of Television Watchers. Yes, that should scare the shit out of you. The stars of Jersey Shore, whether they realise it or not, are advertising Jersey Culture, even though it's actually an even smaller pocket, they're self-proclaimed Guido Culture - basically twenty-something Italian-Americans (or the brownest equivalent) living in the vicinity of the NYC Metro area. So what do these people appreciate?
Jersey Culture is loud, abrasive and proud. Quick to anger, insult and blow things out of proportion. Fake boobs, fake tans and obsessive behaviour over physical appearances in both males and females typify the experience. What's more interesting than the actual culture though is how for granted its practitioners take it. Watching this show is almost difficult to follow because of how automatic the characters reactions are to seemingly insignificant events. Last week Snooki found out that The Situation has been lying about smushing her two months ago - this automatically means that if her BF Gianni finds out they will break up. This shouldn't make sense to any logical human. Shouldn't Snooki be able to easily say that the Sitch is fabricating the story and shouldn't Gianni trust her enough to believe her? No, because lying, cheating and alcohol are so infused with the Culture that also contains so much judgment, anger and rash decisions that any peaceful solution is aberrant to their lifestyle. Now you're starting to see why MTV chose this group of people.
What's more interesting is how this nearly impenetrable Culture is guarded by its practitioners, at times very aggressively. After being a practitioner of Lumberjack Culture myself, I laugh every time the guys have commented on Vinny's "beard" this season. There is a goal to maintain constant equilibrium. Weekly haircuts and tanning sessions, constant gym access to keep up a perceived perfect appearance. For all its excess and alcohol it is not a risky culture, or one that incorporates difference well at all. It appears very tight-knit and secluded.
It's great that the show has taken seasons outside of the Geographic Jersey Shore in order to fully demonstrate this idea. You'll note that they aren't sightseeing in Florence - they GTL. They have no interest in appreciating other cultures. When in Miami they sought out and engorged themselves on the Clubs and Hotspots that were most like their Jersey hometown. Even in Florence they always have this urge to replicate their own culture rather than accept a new one, even for a short period of time. In Miami Sammi was more obsessed with Ronnie than enjoying the sunshine and location they were visiting. There is no desire to do anything not included in their Jersey-based culture: Physical fitness, copious alcohol consumption, finding as many members of the opposite sex to copulate with and meticulous personal care that makes metrosexuals look like hungry hobos.
Now, this may have something to do with the editing of the show, which no reality show is really factual. It does stand out amidst Reality Programming though in the fact that the same people have returned for Four Seasons now (besides the swap of Deena for Angelina) with no competition involved or goal to achieve. In the end, it really comes off more of a study, like examining how animals behave in a zoo. It's fascinating. It's a peak into a Culture that is so insane, so deviant from the mainstream and yet within the Jersey Culture every action is so automated and performed with such huge confidence that it comes off as more inclusive than it really is. Instead of allowing for any other cultural factors to enter in they relish their own attitudes and personal philosophies, and yet find innumerous ways to disagree and argue with each other despite the Culture's limited sets of available attitudes and personalities to choose from. There is no desire to absorb any other culture because theirs is so egotistical and dominant in their own eyes - they keep attempting to replicate Jersey everywhere instead of soaking in something new.
Jersey Shore comes on MTV 58 minutes from now. Go watch the Exhibition.
So with Music, TV and Movies out of the way, we can talk a bit about what's leftover from 2010, concluding Norwegian Morning Wood's exhaustive study of all things pop-y about the year we left behind us last week. It's not really that important, but like you reading this out there, it sure kills some time. Let's go:
VIDEO GAMES OF 2010:
It was a pretty good year for gaming, though we've gotten to the point where most of the best released games are sequels. In fact, in my scrutiny I only found one really original title, which I call the best of the year, among the rabble. It's like all these games are good only because they mostly follow in line with their predecessors, which were all landmark, innovative titles. Only the #1 spot really earned it this year.
So, firstly in no particular order, the best games of the year include GoldenEye 007 riding on the coattails of its superior N64 source material (possibly greatest game ever. Oh wait), Metroid: Other M, which is admittedly less cool than its commercials but decent enough, Halo: Reach, a series that has been on the decline since the Arbiter showed his fucking four-split face and Dante's Inferno, which kind of sucked but had some really cool levels. Speaking of Dante, God of War III was up there, as was Dead Rising 2, which put just enough of a spin on its concept to remain interesting in this time of endless zombie media. I also enjoyed playing lots of Super Mario Galaxy 2 and BioShock 2 was about equal with its predecessor, which ultimately renders it not as interesting (waiting for BioShock Infinite in 2012 to finally push that envelope again). Finally, StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty exists basically to suck our time and money and make us feel inferior to South Koreans. Seriously, StarCraft is Korea's NFL.
But the best game of the year of course goes to Red Dead Redemption. It's a heavy character game, infinitely cool, re-playable, interesting and innovative. Though honestly I feel like I'm the only one who played GUN on GameCube like five years ago, Red Dead's about the same thing. Except better, bigger and crisper in every way possible. Still, it's the best game of the year. Now go hate the sun and play it.
SPORTS OF 2010:
2010 was a pretty good one for all kinds of sporting events. The New Orleans Saints surprised just about everyone by derailing Peyton in the most widely-watched Superbowl (and American Program) of all time in February. New Orleans has been this cool city lately, despite you know, the tremendous Katrina damage, but it seems like it's poppin. You've got like, Benjamin Button hanging out there, Drew Brees, Nic Cage in Bad Lieutenant (2009)...uh...Treme. So that's football.
Winter Olympics were actually kind of forgettable this year. I say that because I almost forgot to talk about it. The most exciting may have been a bitter curling grudge match that finally saw long-time runner up Kevin Martin snag Canadien Gold away from the Strange-Pants Wearing Norwegians. Oh and some Hockey Game. Continuing on the world stage, the 2010 World Cup was mostly known for Vuvuzelas, the United States shut out by Ghana again and an Octopus picking the winners. Seriously, I thought there was some Giant Herd of Bees attacking all the stadiums. I heard that magical psychic Octopus tasted spectacular. At any rate, I'd probably take all that over anything done in Qatar. Actually to be fair, if any country can successfully misappropriate its resources, it's a nation like Qatar. They're going to blow a huge load on these games, it'll actually be awesome. You know, as long as the temperature is under 120.
It was also a year of scandal. Tiger sucks and Favre ruined his legacy for...wow. Have you seen her? I'm sending Jenn Sterger a picture of my dick right now. Also Ben Roethlisberger spent his summer raping everyone in sight.
Go Giants.
CITIES OF 2010:
I'm out of ideas here. I could talk about books but...well, I bought Earth, which rules (I never knew you could make so many jokes about permafrost and oxygen), but hell, what else is there really? But I do think the City of Miami was pretty big in 2010. South Beach is the hot place, baby. Once known quixotically as a home for Gays, Jews, Cubans and the Elderly, Miami is becoming a hip spot for everyone else. Hell, even I went to Miam in 2010.
LeBron James calls it his new home (can't believe he betrayed Akron for Sun and Busty Latin Girls) and the Heat are poppin' off. This was also one of the most controversial sports stories of the year. South Beach was also the natural destination for the degenerates that call the Jersey Shore home for their second season. And if LBJ and Sitch are wrong, dammit...I don't want to be right.
Now if the Dolphins can win another division title we'll get somewhere. How the hell is a team 1 - 7 at home? That's ridiculous. You're playing in the City of 2010, baby! I mean, give Brandon Marshall the ball, that's why you picked him up. Anyway, that's about it for our 2010 coverage. Bring on the future.
Alright folks, it's time to talk about some Television. 2010, like other recent years, was an incredible time for TV. Amidst some of the more legendary shows coming and going we saw the continued dominance of Cable Diversification and how much critics love it, startling audience breakdowns and NBC again really relying only on Fantastic Sunday Night Football coverage to support the entire network. Well, of course that AND the Winter Olympics.
RETURNING SHOWS OF 2010:
We'll break this down into a few categories because the TV season doesn't really measure up with our Calendar Year. I'll chat first about shows both in the 2009 - 2010 seasons as well as 2010 - 2011, then shows that ended in 2010 and finally shows that began in 2010. Now, naturally there's always the Mad Men and Breaking Bad and that people love, and these are some of the strongest narratives on TV, even if the former is incredibly boring and difficult to get into and the latter is so critically acclaimed that Norwegian Morning Wood really has no place supporting it here.
2010 was notable for a few big returns. Futurama arrived on Comedy Central this summer, with a good amount of sub-par episodes but some incredible, instant classics such as "The Late Philip J. Fry" (S6;E7) and "The Prisoner of Benda" (S6;E10). The Simpsons also featured one of their greatest non-Treehouse of Horror episodes in years in "The Squirt and the Whale" (S21;E19) and have had some return to form after a couple terrible years. As you can tell, I primarily watch cartoons. South Park, while surely blowing a few opportunities with their Coon arc this fall, knocked out "Medicinal Fried Chicken" (S14;E3) and "You Have 0 Friends" (S14;E4).
The best two shows on TV, though I still believe to be the one-two of Community and Parks and Recreation on NBC. Neither are audience favourites but those who watch them get hooked immediately and they've topped many end-of-year-lists like this one. I've ranted and raved about both of these plentyoftimes before, needless to say they're the most incredible comedies on television and their continual Emmy snub makes me want to punch babies until my arm gets sore.
So what other general news from the year? American Idolswitched up its judges but no one really cared. Jersey Shore was everywhere, getting MTV ratings typically reserved for Networks. Everyone was DVR-ing and Satellite-ing and Hulu-ing, but that's not news. Olympics, World Cup, Thursday Night Football that non one was able to watch, fun sports year. Also we should note Super Bowl XLIV, which managed to attract the largest American audience of all time watching a TV at the same time. Of course, that's still a fraction of the people who logged on to Facebook at some point during the game.
NEW SHOWS OF 2010:
Let's talk about Conan. One of the hottest topics of 2010 was the huge NBC late night host controversy, in fact it has its own Wikipedia page (look how detailed that shit is!). In the end, Conan was able to settle into a new position on TBS with a dude who was more than happy to let him go wherever he wanted, and Conan has done pretty well ever since. By the way, currently 90.6% of households with a TV also had cable in 2010, is it that big of a deal that cable shows are beating Networks? It's also nice to see that amidst all the strange Late Night feuds there's at least two pretty cool rivals who like each other. I am growing into a pretty good Craig Ferguson fan by the way, who won a Peabody this year for interviewing Desmond Tutu, is settling into a fantastic "Awkward Pause" routine and also thoroughly skews Late Night standards with his Robotic Sidekick and other frank intimate moments. He's my dude.
Anyway, besides Late Night tangents, HBO debuted three fantastic series that should all be contenders for Best of the Year, including The Pacific, Treme and Boardwalk Empire. After being very impressed with the first episode of The Walking Dead, I'm not sold on how the season turned out, settling for more typical Zombie Tropes than the unrelenting comic series. My favourite new series of the year though is still Adventure Time with Finn & Jakeon Cartoon Network. Haha, that rules.I'll also mention delighting in the Sunday double-dose of Childrens Hospital and Mary Shelley's Frankenhole. Lots of new gems to find in the sand this year. Also I guarantee this the only list you'll find mentioning Frankenhole equal to Treme. Dammit, that's some funny shit.
ENDING SHOWS OF 2010:
The Boondocks tended to go out with a whimper rather than a bang, despite an awesome kickball episode. Other than that, 2010 saw the end of long-going series like Law & Order and Larry King Live (did a soul care?) The big knock-outs were Scrubs, 24 and LOST, though, the latter of which really swept up the Spring Zeitgeist. All of these shows ended for the exact reason there's not a whole lot to write about them, though. They're irrelevant, no longer interesting and really puttered out without much satisfaction.
BETTY WHITE:
What the hell, Betty White. From appearing on Community, SNL (winning an Emmy for a...pretty shitty episode) and truly igniting the Facebook community (what the hell does that mean), Betty White was THE TV artist of 2010 and didn't even really star in any shows. What a glorious old cunt. I don't really understand my generation's love of Betty White. Sure there's the old vagina jokes, and those can be pretty fun but what other joy do we get from watching this old woman get bounced around in Snickers Commercials (on that topic can we mention the creep-out Commercial of the year? Snickerrrrsss!!). This chick and like, Jon Hamm seemed to pop up in every weird little spot. Like the Season Finale of Childrens Hospital. What the hell, Jon Hamm. Go sell some John Ham.
BEST EPISODES OF 2010:
Community - "Modern Warfare" (S1;E23) was absolutely legendary, from the Apocalypse spoof to the lack of character shields, eruption of sexual tension and Ken Jeong's masterful final appearance, this was breathtaking.
Ugly Americans - "The Manbirds" (S1;E14) was pretty awesome. Does anyone else ever watch this show? Most of it is unremarkable, but this episode's pension for cockfighting, which I already adored here proved to be a great emotional tether for a classic sports redemption. Maybe not, but the Manbird language alone makes the episode worth watching.
The Venture Bros - "Operation P.R.O.M." (S4;E16) was a severely underlooked achievement. This scene alone may be one of the most fantastically constructed of the year and the amount of reward for the depth and growth of character this season doesn't fail to disappoint.
LOST - "Ab Aeterno" (S6;E9) took the show's most interesting and mysterious side character and developed an entire short movie about his backstory that was interesting, moving, gave some insight to the Island's Mythology (some insight). This is what LOST was like at its best - not necessarily following a strict narrative but using its episodic medium and huge cast of characters to tell little vignettes that tied into a more complete story. Despite a somewhat middling final season (although I think the Finale was spectacular), "Ab Aeterno" emerges as one of the best episodes of the year. You can take that to the bank.
Kanye West is still on everyone's mind so today we're talking about some of his more recent albums, trials, controversies and the possibility of a deserved out of control ego. Last week I mentioned his rise as an unconventional rapper. His brand was education, class and lyrical complexity over low pants, drugs and violence. Even his lack of a stage name seemed to establish him as someone level with the public - a musician without masks or an alter-ego. He sought to re-define what it meant to be a Public Black American Figure and restore integrity to his profession's stereotypes. He's done all this while collecting Grammys, widespread commercial and critical acclaim and succeeding behind and in front of the microphone.
Unfortunately he's also a tremendous ass.
Let's start with my all-time favourite Kanye Moment. Just watch:
Holy Fuck. I don't have enough Internet to ramble about how much I love this. Every part is awesome. The Mike Myers / Kanye pairing is weird enough then Kanye just immediately goes off the teleprompter and visibly shakily voices his true opinion. This took guts, it really did, no matter your opinion of any one involved or any result, this took a lot of courage to go out and speak his mind. It's what makes this country great - you've got the freedom to be as ridiculous as you want to be and criticise who needs to be criticised.
Myer's face throughout is priceless. I love imagining whatever conversation they might have had after the producers cut to an obviously not-ready Chris Tucker. Mike: "So, you just kind of felt like going for that one, did you?" Kanye: "Yeah, you tell your kids you were there." But hey, it's a real dude voicing his opinion, skewed or not, over an incredibly serious situation that he didn't feel our government was taking seriously enough. In terms of his hubris, it's Kanye believing himself able to fight for his people, and there's not a lot wrong with that when he pulls it off. Also his follow-up interview is pleasing.
Sometime around 2008 with 808s & Heartbreak Kanye started making this transition from the "College Kid" image to this trendier, chain-wearing, Venitian-blind Glasses owning douchebag. He moved away from a relatable, artistic, possibly visionary rapper into someone well aware of his visionary status who sought to glorify himself and exploit his talent rather than be cool and let it ride. C'mon, you know you can't declare yourself cool, Kanye. That's pretty uncool. As he kept proclaiming to be the definitive voice of a generation, South Park with excellent timeliness picked up on the trend and ripped him apart in "Fishsticks" (S13;E5) This is a brilliant send-up of an out of control ego. He can't see past himself. This along with Steven Colbert's Operation: Humble Kanye a few months earlier almost seemed drastic against unarguably one of our generation's best rappers. It's not like Kanye is Bob Dylan, but maybe he was one of the best out there and he deserved to brag about himself. I mean, he wasn't hurting anyone, right?
Oh.
The low PR moment of the decade for Kanye. The personal stories of this guy just get more and more ridiculous. Taylor Swift, semi-cute, surfboard bodied 19-year old Country Pop Star just won an MTV Video Music Award in 2009. Hoorah! Good for her, right? Well, apparently Kanye wasn't really pleased with the results. He found no problem with running on to the stage, denouncing the award winner standing feet away and claiming Beyonce deserved to win. At least he wasn't saying that HE should have been the winner. Wait, he actually did do that once. How does he think he can get away with this shit? His ego is so huge that he believes he can do anything, but hell, even Obama called him a jackass. You're fighting for Black Acceptance and the only Black President in history calls you out on being a Jackass? Shit, dude. Get real, baby.
There's two classy moments that came out of this - Beyonce letting Taylor come back up on stage and give a proper acceptance after the former won her own award. Secondly, Comedy Central playing four back-to-back episodes of "Fishsticks" the night before. Yeah, that episode had originally aired five months earlier. Damn that's good.
So, as the years have gone by, it's pretty clear that Kanye views himself as some kind of gift to the world. We should be so lucky to have him in our lives. This isn't much hyperbole. His Twitter Account is one of the best out there, it's a reason to get on Twitter. While he currently has 1,558,165 followers as of this writing, he's only following 1 account, Oprah. I like the idea that Kanye doesn't care about what any one else has to say on Twitter, but he's overjoyed at sharing his own thoughts. He's also a generator of the "My presence is a present kiss my ass" Meme, after lyrics from his single off My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010), "Monster." Which of course is the best hash tag ever. Just being around Kanye is a present to all of us, and according to him, we should be grateful. This kind of stuff...this is beyond parody or mockery. This is just a joke on its own.
Aziz Ansari sums up Kanye pretty well through discussing some moments hanging out with him. This shit is hilarious - but there's little to doubt any more, this isn't really a joke. Kanye really is this out of control. He loves himself so so much. He truly believes without question he's the greatest artist to ever live. This attitude is just so insane, but I have to remain in contention. Kanye IS good. Kanye's shit is really good. Almost all rappers, hell, most big mainstream artists, celebrities and athletes in general think their shit is the shit, but most of their shit is just shit. Is Kanye's outrageous ego justified? Or is it just one we see more often than others? Certainly there is a discrepancy here between humility, rationality and how Kanye is expressing himself.
Stay tuned for later in the week where I'll chat about his albums and give my final case for why Kanye does not deserve to be humbled. In the meantime, enjoy this:
I already made a substantial Jersey Shore post over here, but this show just isn't going anywhere so it's worth another one. Under the right lens of analysis, it's also one of the most fascinating on Television today. It's also one of the best showcases of trashy T & A in years.
It's also massively popular. While it's close to dominating Cable, it's actually beating many Broadcast networks for the 18 - 49 year old demographic. Yeah, IT BEATS NETWORK TELEVISION. The reasons for its sudden ubiquity I've discussed earlier, namely the simple fact that its watchers tend to dismiss the show as equally as its detractors. Jersey Shore is a showcase of trash TV, there aren't a lot of folks who actively watch it believing in good drama. It's an escape, a trend-setter and a witness to the mindless excess and poor character that typifies this great nation.
Two interrelated components of the show stand out to me though (having watched um...yeah I've watched this entire season. Mostly prior to the Labour Day Marathon). These are the competing traits of a steady stream of neologisms amongst apparent anachronism. Jersey Shore is a zeitgeist-fueling trendsetter with parameters that fit the show better to a period 15 years ago. I'll explain, starting with the present:
The disturbing amount of Jersey Shore-isms impacting our cultureis obscene. These range from a slew of Acronyms: GTL (and its variations, including GTS), GFF, MVP, IFF, MIA, DTF* to phrasings including "Extract the grenade," "You wanna Smoosh," and "We got landmines, bro!"** If you understand instantly what all this means, congratulations, so do an unbelievable 6,536,000 Americans. The slangy, slurry speech has infiltrated youth culture for sure and it seeps its way up from there. The acronyms especially are almost a code of who is in on the show or not. If I tell someone on the street to go GTL they either get it or they don't. When you've got a show as trendy as Jersey Shore, it's actually a mark of coolness for understanding. Thus this program has sunk its hooks into our culture, refusing to release as long as it's a cool show to watch.
Jersey Shore is definitely the "it" right now. It's right on America's pulse. It's so hot actually that the cast is attempting to trademark their names, to more and less success. Actually reading this article real fans can immediately tell that its bunk - the author mistakes "Grenade Free Foundation" for "grenade-free America." It's part of an active ignorance by the rest of culture that is very willing to write off the entire ordeal as trash without watching it (I mean, c'mon, they could at least watch it and prove their own hypothesis). It creates another standard of viewership as the renegades who can find the delight in the show, not pretentious or snooty enough to dismiss the trash.
Thus, while Jersey Shore is cutting a mean swath through Pop Culture the show itself is anachronistic to zeitgeist. This is in order to heighten drama. Are we really to believe that a group of twenty-something Guidos (another term taken and morphed by the show) have no cell phones, computer access or other technology? The housemates share a single land-line phone and their access to a computer when JWOWW and Snooki wrote a note to Sammi was more rare and difficult than it should have been in this age.
The show looks like it could have been produced in the 90s. It's interesting that this is mostly due to the lack of cell phones. Cell phones are so ridiculously rampant in today's society, even my 10-year old cousins have cell phones. It is really just another mark of the show's "Manufactured Reality" as well as the distance the "characters" these people play (apparently themselves) have from their actual selves. Our culture has gotten to a point where the absence of cellular devices in mainstream media is noticeable.
I thought about this when watching Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) last month. The eponymous Scott lacks a cell phone the entire movie, which is enough to make it (along with much of the style, homages and themes) anachronistic. Compare this to film like The Departed (2006) which heavily relies on cell phones and the believable importance of their constant use to plant itself surely within the zeitgeist. We reach another question however - is the use or not of cell phones in television and film truly anachronistic or does it only serve to plant the piece of media forever within the current time period? Are cell phones going away or can we expect them to be around forever - affecting how characters get around in TV and movies from here on out? Will we always watch Jersey Shore and think "Where the hell are their cell phones?" as time goes on and they become even more ubiquitous?
This may be a weird thing to notice. In Jersey Shore though, the lack of technology serves many valid production purposes. That is, it causes problems. Taking away phones (presumably the producers confiscated them prior to filming) leads to miscommunication, frustrations (ie if Sammi wants to call Ronnie at Klutch, she's unable to) and generally lets the tensions grow. The lack of computers also lead to less distractions, allowing for both the cast to grow tension by spending constant time with each other as well as disallowing for any outlet for that tension and boredom. When all this is combined with eight of the craziest fucking Guidos imaginable it's a powder keg that only needs a tiny Angelina-shaped match to ignite. That's damn good TV, brother.
Thus there's some irony that an anachronistic show (either purposeful or not...probably not) has spurred some of iGeneration's most bonus catchphrases. Although that's not the first time that's happened.
Jersey Shore comes on tonight at 10:00 pm EST on MTV.
*Definitions: Gym, Tan, Laundry; Gym, Tan, Sex; Grenade Free Foundation; Mike Vinny Pauly; I'm Fucked Foundation; Miami; Down to Fuck
**Translations: "Get the ugly girl out of here," "Would you like to engage in relations?" and "Somehow large, unattractive women have infiltrated our personal space, my friend!"
Yo last week THE show came on, bro, the best fucking shit I've ever seen man, the Jersey Shore. I had never even SEEN this shit before yo, like most of my bros I had basically dissed the boys and girls. More and more peeps are attachin eyeballs to this shit tho so what can I say? I had to turn the box, dude. Yo this shit was mad bogus.
After catchin the shit I thought about what it meant you know. It's mad phoney with this editing and shit that makes fuckin stories out of the bullshit it calls its "reality". Most other bullshit shows are just like this dawg but my boys here stand out as a fuckin wreckage show yo. Let me spit some fire here-
The acting first off is mad whack. Its like a flippin on a crunked up movie yo. Unless all these bitches are just awkward and shit in real life then I dont even knwo what to say. This fuckin shit can't be real lives, its mad fake all over. This shit is like, in the middle of fuckin reality and made-up shit. It's some funky shit.
Yo it's like, all reality TV really makes stories out of nothing. I bet it actually takes some dope talent for editors and shit to make somethin dope out of some bro's daily life, then chop and edit all this fuckin shit into a dope story that makes sense with like, a start and fo sho end and shit. Not only that dawg, it';s like, this shit becomes a whole season and then these seasons even become a few different ones to make a whole series of a TV show. Wow dude. Layers of this fake shit goes on top what these other bros are telling us is reality. Can't believe thsi shit.
Jersey Shore tho yo, is mad trashy right. All these fuckin dawgs and bitches are just full of themselves, don't know how to step off right. I don't know about then talkin good shit about Guidos and shit, it's like what the gangstas and boys did with "Nigga" way long ago. They take away these slurs and turn them around, you know, they just turn that shit without even noin it. Its crazy. Whats nuts is that even the viewer you know, the viewer knows this shit is whack but he still checks in like whats up?. Its def part of the times. Its like both viewers and non-viewers feel the same shit bro. Like, the only diff is mad different levels of understanding, right?. Like, ppl know the premise is goofed but the bros with the fuckin pride know that actually even watching this shit is whack in itself. Whoa bra
Yo check out this trick's rack:.
That's the fuckin shit there. (Haha that reminds me, check out this mad jersey T here.) I can't believe these dawgs like they know how shitty their lives are but no adaptation. No adaptation AT ALL dude. They is always just wilin' out, which is pretty whack to bros who get their Kant on. It's like, all about the GTL, no brains yo.
Shit gets fucked when little kids and shit watch this shit and then think that this is the shit, you know?. MTV used to be all, you know Celebrity shit and fucked Madonna vids. fuck, son. I might be beefin heavy but the kids change, bro. I bet the little bitches still dis on Jersey Shore but it's like, in their face still instead of way out on the palm. This is some fuckin whack shit. Basically yo, Jersey is mad screwy you know. Oh shit they in mia now? Yo fuck LeBron
also The Situation's like 30 what the fuck is this bro up to?
Last week we all had the chance to enjoy the auspicious premiere of one of our Generation's Greatest Television Events, Jersey Shore. This is...okay, so I had never seen this trainwreck before last week, like most of my demographic I assumed the worst about the show and tried to ignore its existence. As more and more people seem to be watching these shitheads though I had to jump on. What I can tell you is that this television show is far far worse than anything I could have assumed.
Watching it though got me thinking about its nature. It's so obviously a fake show with artificial drama and quirky editing layered on to generate stories out of supposed "reality." It's not unlike any other contemporary reality show but still, something about Jersey Shore stands out. It's just an absolute trainwreck.
What really gets me is when the acting in a "reality" TV Show is visibly sub-par. Jersey Shore is like this. Unless Snooki, Paulie D and Ronnie really are just stilted and awkward in real-life, I have a hard time believing what we're seeing is actually transpiring in these idiots' lives. Thus it's pretty clear that whatever we are watching on television is somewhere between reality and fiction, which is actually interesting.
The manipulative nature of Reality Programming in itself tells us much of how we tend to generalise life events into stories and events. I'm actually amazed to some extent that producers and editors are able to catch a great deal of footage of someone's daily life, then chop and edit this random tape into a coherent story with a beginning, middle and end, encapsulating an episode of a season, then on a grander scale seasons within a series. What becomes of these shows then is this imparted artificiality embedded on to what is presented as reality. Pretty fucked up shit.
Jersey Shore peaks among these shows though, because it really wears its trashiness on its sleeve. The egos, vanity and materialism on constant display, not only apparent but celebrated and used as constant lifestyle validation, is mind-boggling. Not to mention they've taken back the word Guido like Rappers and Richard Pryor did with "Nigga" in the 70s and 80s. Not that it's implicitly terrible to nullify racial slurs (this can lead to a whole other topic, really), but what the hell are these guidos thinking? What's more is that this show has reached a status where although most of its viewers outwardly comprehend and acknowledge that it is a trash show, they continue to watch. It's half-kitsch, half-post-modern which has found an excellent niche in our zeitgeist. Almost every regular viewer probably hates the show and believes its people (characters?) to be just as despicable as every non-viewer. The only difference between watchers and non-watchers requires an acute meta-understanding of both the context of the show and the audience. A recognition that both the premise of the show (as well as the genre) is ridiculous with enough self-respect to also recognize that viewing the show in itself is an act of ludicrocity.
Either that or Snooki's boobs pack the viewers in.
Right then. Jersey girls aren't trash. Trash gets picked up (Buy the T-Shirt here). I can't believe the cats on this show - there is a self-conscious awareness of how low-functioning their lives are yet there is no will to change. There is no desire to ever not be who they are, which is a stunning thought to any mild-mannered suburban Kant reader. It's a full-flung force against knowledge, work and humility, destroyed by Gym, Tan and Laundry.
What becomes dangerous then is when these characters' lives are idealised as real people's lives. It becomes the end goal for many self-respecting viewers who once watched MTV for its Celebrity Jokes and Controversial Madonna videos. Dammit. That's probably overstating things but it's important to note how mental attitudes have morphed over generations. Jersey Shore is still abhorred by youg'ins, yet it's accepted into their culture instead of lurking on the perimeter. That alone is far too great of a sin to be ignored for very long. Basically, I'm a big advocate of bombing New Jersey. Oh wait...Miami now? Well, fuck LeBron anyway.
And The Situation's like 30 what the fuck is he doing with these kids?
But he's also an icon for the past three American Generations and as of late, possibly one of the biggest PR blunderers in history. What images does the name Tom Cruise conjure in the past five years? Insane couch jumping? Screaming at Matt Lauer? Trapped in a closet? Similar to fellow 80s/90s heartthrob Mel Gibson, Cruise really fucked up the past decade.
Unlike Mel, who is just making Okay Movies with a renewed intense image, Tommy's been steadily and subtly re-crafting his image right under our noses for the past two years. Thus, when we're looking at Tommy, we've got three main phases:
1983 - 2004: Awesome.
Now, as we take this journey I want to remind you that when we're looking at Tom Cruise, almost all his performances from the start of his career to now are pretty solid (or at least congruent). It's not like he started making poor role choices or starting acting in Cage-caliber films, just his PR went insane.
In the 1980s however, he was an American Hero. Risky Business (1983) allowed the kid to break on to the movie scene, but Top Gun (1986) is probably still his greatest opus. For some reason I've never been able to get into Top Gun, it might be somewhere between the Pulsating Beach Volleyball scene or the fact that the coolest song on the soundtrack is Kenny Loggins but somehow I've just always been a bit thrown off. Fighter jets are fucking awesome though and the masculinity on display gave Tommy an action career for the next twenty-five years (and counting).
After this for a while we've basically got the two Toms - the action hero and the dramatic actor, with a couple bizarre vampire and bartender films strewn about. Both of these dual roles came to a fever in 1996 with Mission: Impossible and Jerry Maguire. Maguire is still one of the best 90s classics and one of the closest he'll ever get to Oscar. The original Mission: Impossible has developed into his signature franchise (with a bullshit second, critically and commercially successful third installment and an upcoming fourth by an Academy-Award winning director). With these joints Tommy simultaneously became the American action hero counterpart to a slew of Bond films that were regaining popularity mid-decade as well as widely acknowledged as a mainstream highly talented actor.
After this he's got the two mindfuck pics in Magnolia (1999) and Vanilla Sky (2001) then three solid appearances in action films with large doses of drama (Minority Report [2002], The Last Samurai [2003] and Collateral [2004]). All three of these could be considered some of the best of the past decade (Minority Report for sure). Especially when Tom busted out of the smirking hero character with Collateral to pretty decent effort he really should have been considered one of the most enigmatic, charismatic and talented actors of our time.
2005 - 2007: Shitty
Soon after, all this weird stuff started happening around Tommy. Read: Every recent image of Tom that first pops in your head happened. He was suddenly madly in love with Katie Holmes, seemingly more so to promote his films than to express puppy love (c'mon dude you were 42). More than anything though, which somehow the creators of South Park seemed to catch on to, he started being really really open with Scientology.
If there's any doubt in your mind anywhere, please know that Scientology is an absolute cult religion that relies on teams of lawyers and intimidation to protect its public image at all costs. Any read into their operations should immediately generate the most ridiculously immoral findings you could imagine, although it's shocking mainly because it was largely covered up successfully for the first forty or so years of its operation.
Scientology primarily targets celebrities because A) L. Ron Hubbard suggested it as a way to allow its public image to soften with free endorsement and B) its nature caters to very selfish people, there's no guilt over being special or wealthy in Scientology, its practice is specifically driven by flooding ego in its doctrine. Of all the celebrities in the past decade though, no Scientologist has been at the forefront like Tommy has.
At the height of his American Iconic Status either due to Publicist mistakes or whatever, we started seeing layers of Tommy peeled back and this insane, insane man emerging underneath. It's funny how celebrities let us down. I don't understand why we adore them so much, I mean there's entire channels devoted to following their lives. Thus when we started seeing our icon making these frighteningly ignorant statements about anti-depressants, initiating verbal arguments with fellow celebrities and getting pissy at British Water Gun Interviewers, we freak out. I mean, look at the amount of Tommy that penetrated Pop Culture mid-decade.
Fuck, Tom, just talk about how much War of the Worlds (2005) sucked because Robbie lived.
2008 - Present: Awesome
There seemed like there was this pretty huge valley for Tommy to climb out of now. America's darling fallen into a pretty big shitpile. The only real way out was to do something so entirely outrageous and out of carefully crafted character, something so impossibly Tom Cruise that he basically won back our hearts from the bottom up.
Enter Les Grossman.
Really a mere side character in the ridiculously character'd and cameo'd Tropic Thunder (2008) this somehow got Tommy his first Golden Globe nomination in five years as well as a whole lot more interest in his career. It played against type so well that we lost the Tom Cruise part of him. This was necessary - the Tom Cruise of late is that image again - the Couch Jumping Fuckhead. Since his face is so recongisable, he needed to be in complete disguise to reestablish his Iconic credentials. Les Grossman is an absolutely brilliant PR move. In the past two years although he was still scoffed for Valkyrie (2008), certainly less so than Mission: Impossible III (2006) which was a far superior movie that audiences avoided because of his PR jumbles.
With a much more careful eye then we may understand perfectly the reasoning behind Les Grossman "producing" the 2010 MTV Movie Awards. Tom Cruise has a new movie coming out today. What's the only likable bankable character he's done in the past five years? Fuck yeah. This is the megastar coming down a few levels. Tom's showing he has a sense of humour, he can laugh at himself and isn't afraid to look fat and silly. This is the exact opposite of that Water Gun Interview. It's his 360. It's his attempt to get back his American Icon Status. Right in time for his next summer blockbuster.
So boom. Knight and Day (2010) comes out today. Tom's back in smiling funny action mode and there's less talk of avoiding this because Tom's Crazy than there's talk of avoiding it because it looks stupid. If a movie can cripple itself on those merits then Tommy's heading in the right direction. It actually doesn't look that terrible, certainly more interesting than Killers (2010) (by the way, what the fuck is this a Dante's Peak / Volcano [1997] deal?). So we'll see if this can truly be the film to restore faith in Tommy's Career.
Tonight, Live at 9:00 pm EST we'll all get to watch the greatest Award Show ever conceived, the MTV Movie Awards. Clearly superior to the Oscars, Golden Globes or the Crying Monkeys, the MTV Movie Awards award mostly excellence in getting popular. It's pretty insane. What I like best is that in ten, twenty years time, there's a chance the Academy Awards results tell us what our genuine best films and actors were, but only the MTV Movie Awards will tell us what idiots thought our best films and actors were. Just look at these nominees.
It kind of baffles the mind. I mean, when the best actor in your Best Male Performance Category might actually be Channing Tatum, we've got some issues. I feel like the nominees are chosen by some MTV intern skimming BoxOfficeMojo for the past year's worth of biggest grossers, then picking everyone from there. At least in 2009 Slumdog Millionaire (2008) got a nomination, even if it were a heavy underdog to The Dark Knight (2008) (although Twilight [2008] beat them all). But complaints about nominees in this case should be obvious. There are a few things about the awards that I actually enjoy without irony:
First is the categories themselves. Though the nominees may be shit, classics like Best Kiss and Best Fight are cool to see acknowledged in a big awards show (ambiguity in determining what a "Best Kiss" means aside). They also switch around award categories, for good or ill. It doesn't build up a lot of tradition (what does this generation know about tradition anyway?), but it keeps things that could get stale (Best Summer Movie So Far? Seriously?) pretty fresh. As an alternative to stiff Award Ceremonies, The MTV Movie Awards can be pretty pleasant.
It's also been the source of some great parodies in the past decade. These two from 2002 are awesome, in fact I think the latter is better than Panic Room (2002). There is also hardly a better criticism for the insane dialogue of Revenge of the Sith (2005) than this, one of only two or three funny things that Jimmy Fallon has ever done:
Ho ho ho. So basically I guess what we've boiled down to is possibly interesting award categories and maybe a good spoof. Well, that's not really worth watching, but the show used to have a good history of hilarity. The show works best when celebrities use it as a platform for their own little sketches or jokes that have no other place (although now the Internet is largely that place). A guy like Jim Carrey at the peak of his career dressing up and delivering one of the greatest acceptance speeches of all time is not really Oscar Fodder. But it works here:
Of course, it goes without saying that we haven't seen anything of this caliber at the Awards show for a long time. The Tropic Thunder (2008) promotion comes pretty close, but you kind of get the feeling that this somehow exists in a pre-Twilight time, a time we may never get back to. As MTV itself shifted its demographics, so did its credentials as a cool place for Hollywood Stars to joke around. The MTV Movie Awards was always that outlet. I'm afraid that while we might be in store for some good goofiness tonight, it's likely to be the same crap we've seen churned out of this station and our culture the past two years.
The only thing redemptive of this year's ceremony is host Aziz Ansari, who has an uncanny knack of making fun of pop zeitgeist while simultaneously reveling in it. A series of promotions that have come out the past couple weeks also hints at something that could be pretty awesome, including a great bit of Les Grossman screaming at Robert Pattinson. It's actually interesting to see both these actors playing against type. Also this is the only pretty good Hurt Locker (2008) spoof I've seen:
I do love television. That's it. I've heard a plethora of complaints recently though about the sorry state of modern television programming. Well, actually I only misheard a single offhand remark that wasn't actually a complaint but nevertheless, I felt this note had to be written. I am compelled to defend this modern era, or what I think is the greatest era of television ever.
This is the first in possibly a series of sophomoric notes concerning one of about four things that I truly understand and love: television.
I don't really know what makes good TV any good. Based on popularity, the final episode of M*A*S*H* still reigns as the king of most viewed and biggest share of any television program. Does that make it the greatest series in television history? Probably not, but that's not really my call. By popular ration, American Idol and Two and a Half Men should be the reigning Queen and Queen of modern television. That can't be the case though, right?
There's a few things we must deal with first. Your first thought about modern television has to turn towards reality. As the most recently developed and massively popular genre, reality tends to ruin modern TV's good name for the rest of the shows. The chronology of this development, though, is relatively simple. In the era of shows like M*A*S*H* and one reason why its record WILL never be broken is that when those shows were on, there would never ever be another opportunity to see them outside of syndication. No downloads. No DVR. No DVD. No VHS baby. It's relatively easy to catch up with scripted television through these means, the best example is always pounding out LOST in a weekend. Right.
So there is little need to rush home from swim practice to catch some of these shows. The need to be on time, or even the need to be in front of the TV has dissipated. With reality, however, things remain interesting. You can't watch Dancing with the Stars four months after the finale has broadcast. There's no tension when you already know the winner. This is the same reason why sports remain popular, and a Super Bowl is the only thing that will ever possibly break the M*A*S*H* record, XLII and XLIII have come close...
This is the sole reason why it would appear that reality is popular. It's one of the only things that people do need to still actually watch weekly to be able to not necessarily understand what's going on, but since it exists so temporarily and immediate, to watch the entirety of Survivor months after the fact is without purpose. A show like American Idol even becomes self-sustaining, you need to watch it LIVE both in order to vote for who you like, and also to be able to discuss it with other watchers as immediate as possible.
Now all this rationale for watching reality underway, I fucking hate it. I do not think it really has any discernible merit in any way. Now, I will admit I was a big fan of Survivor Seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, and 8. There is some explanation for that gap that I will address later. But really, in the Summer of 2000 we had never seen anything like this. I mean, you had The Real World and stuff, and there were game shows like Who Wants to be a Millionaire, debuting in the United States in August 1999 that presented "must-see" material each week with a million dollars at stake, but not until Survivor did we see this entire package of essentially combining a game show with people's lives.
Finally, a reason to tune into CBS Thursday at 8:00/7:00 Central!
Essentially, America loved being a peeping tom. Loves being a peeping tom, that is. It attracted my attention for the first four seasons or so and I will admit I was pretty addicted. The formula after a while just became stale, though. It lost its innovation. I watched season seven because it was about pirates. Eight was the All-Star season, which garnered my attention from bringing back people (read: "characters") that I had already been emotionally invested in in prior seasons. Clever girl. Some time after that I ended up just losing all interest, not only in that show, but reality in general. It had nothing left to show me.
It still doesn't. I haven't followed a reality show intently since 2004. I will still consistently watch a show like Seinfeld which ended 11 years ago now and I find I can elicit more substance from something like that than from contemporary Survivor. Why? It's because Seinfeld is STILL funny. It's funny because each line was thought about for hours and then directed and edited for maximum humor and impact. It's impossible, even with the best editing, to churn out a show with that much value when all the major characters are speaking off the top of their head.
Hey Whaddya know?! Me too!
There's one last topic I need to address, which is MTV, VH1 and all this Celebreality crock. In the 80s, and to a lesser extent the 90s, MTV was a pioneer of cable programming and I will always respect them in some way for giving shows like Daria and Beavis and Butthead a chance where other "respectable" networks wouldn't (I will get into Cartoons in a future entry). Yes, I do mention Beavis and Butthead, just imagine, without them we wouldn't have King of the Hill. And then where would we be? Shitty.
Anyway, I'll talk about cable in general later as well, but for a while MTV was this really cool network that would play music videos, another entirely new genre for a while, give chances to a lot of people who wouldn't have them elsewhere, and in an awesome way, would stick it to the man by being this youthful, rebellious station amidst all the straight-collared basic networks. This was the Reagan Era, people, MTV was a revolution.
So, what happened, well again, this is pretty simple. MTV's edginess and unpopularity with the established mainstream made it incredibly popular. Then a generation grew up with MTV who are now reaching the age MTV was rebelling against. Thus, MTV's popularity among youth became popular among middle-aged. And that is never cool.
For a short time VH1 ended up being the station that played music videos while MTV was the station that never did anymore. But soon it became just as bad, if not far far worse. I would like to try to elucidate why some of this stuff is so rotten, and not just deride it for a second here: I have watched some of this Rock of Love 2 - type stuff, and if, you know, watching rich good-looking people complain about their lives and cry on television, most likely because in some pathetic form of brain activity they thought it would be a good idea to find the love of their life by winning a competition, is your thing, then well, all the more power to you, I've got nothing wrong with that.
But understand something here, I was mainly raised on two and only two shows: Simpsons and Seinfeld. When you're raised on the most well-written cartoon and the most well-written comedy that has ever been made, your standards get pretty high. Again, I will probably devote an entire entry towards these guys as well. Watching rich people complain is not for me. I also find no interest in seeing people who are arbitrarily acknowledged as famous celebrities find love. Half of these people are only famous for being in their damn reality shows. As I hinted at before with Survivor, I lack any emotional investment, which in many cases seems to be forced on by these shows and not derived from my own natural responses.
I do, however, like to masturbate, so shows that feature contestants named "Cocktail" and "Cashmere" do serve some purpose.
Alright. I'm game.
So anyway, MTV after ripping off E!'s "The Anna Nicole Show" in 2002 with "Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica" in 2003 found a way to create series that would have a prior-built in crowd instead of having to earn one. Put celebrities in front of a camera! Why? Who cares why, people watch them! Well, this has worked spectacularly. So spectacular that VH1, facing plummeting ratings from lack of interest in Behind the Music and Pop-Up Video (can't imagine how that happened), decided to sell their soul for an easy buck.
And it could not have worked better. This article sums it up nicely: http://www.broadcastingcable.com/article/100361-COVER_STORY_VH1_Hits_a_New_High_Note.php. To paraphrase, 23 quarters of consecutive growth, top 10 cable series in terms of advertising money, 32% increase in visits to VH1.com between 2007 and 2008, and averaging 1 million viewers per premiere episode of "Random Celebrity wants to fuck big-tittied airhead" of the week.
So while Reality is a vacuum of any intellectual or may I say, meaningful pursuits, it's here to stay. It is, however, the only major detractor from this incredible age of good television. Now that we've got that out of the way, I feel like we can start to examine some of the facets that make it very much worth our while to close our doors, minds, and hearts, sit our asses on the couch, and turn the box on and keep it on.
, which rules (I never knew you could make so many jokes about permafrost and oxygen), but hell, what else is there really? But I do think the City of Miami was pretty big in 2010. South Beach is the hot place, baby. Once known quixotically as a home for 
