Summer Jam 2024! The National Nightmare is over

That's it - we're all done people! Another summer jam has come to an end. Like three weeks ago but IRREGARDLESS we have another Summer Jam Champion in the books. Here, of course is a current updated list:

2007: "Umbrella" by Rihanna
2008: "Bleeding in Love" by Leona Lewis
2009: "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas
2010: "California Gurls" by Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg
2011: "Park Rock Anthem" by LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock
2012: "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen
2013: "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke ft. T.I. & Pharrell
2014: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charle XCX
2015: "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon
2016: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake
2017: "Despacito" by Daddy Yankee, Luis Fonsi ft. Justin Bieber
2018: "Never Be the Same" by Camila Cabello
2019: "Old Town Road" by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus

2020: "Blinding Lights" by the Weeknd

2021: "good 4 u" by Olivia Rodrigo

2022: No winner?

2023: No winner?

Alright, crap, I've got to clean this up. I don't know what I was doing, apparently I just gave up the past two years.

First of all, when I think 2020 I definitely think "Rockstar" by DaBaby and even at the time , "Blinding Lights" won by a single point. I dunno, I think we go back to "Rockstar" retroactively.

2022 was definitely murky when "Running Up that Hill" definitely won, but I'm loth to acknowledge it since it debuted 40 years earlier. But that was definitely the summer of Kate Bush, so let's put it there.

2023 looking back I think is "Kill Bill" by SZA, a year gone that just feels like one to beat. So let's call it that one.

2020: "Rockstar" by DaBaby

2021: "good 4 u" by Olivia Rodrigo

2022: "Running Up that Hill" by Kate Bush

2023: "Kill Bill" by SZA

The whole point of the Summer Jam is to find that immortal song that we always associate with that particular summer. I think that cleans up a lot of the past five years, which are admittedly really rough. We really got messed up after COVID, huh?

2024 is easy. One reason why this is so fun is that every year is different. 2020 was close between two, 2021 was pretty defined, 2022 had an anachronistic jam, and 2023 didn't have too much at all. But 2024 was remarkably clear.

#1: "Not Like Us" by Kendrick Lamar

#2: "Espresso" by Sabrina Carpenter

#3: "A Bar Song" by Shaboozey

No real debate, nothing opaque, that is definitively the order and if we had been doing a weekly countdown, that would have probably been the order damn near every single week up to and including right now, when this week I feel the same way.

2025? Meh, we'll probably do like we did this year, once a month or whenever we feel like it. But we need to keep announcing a winner! Probably!

Sum Sum Summer Three Quarts

 I somewhat yearn for the golden years of our seventeen week summer break. We are having fun, but I do sort of miss those days. Anyway, we've never quite had a summer like this where we have three clear contenders in a dead heat, although all three also very clearly have their own distinct ranking. I was about to say "A Bar Song" was losing steam, too, then I heard it on regular radio the other day. All three just seem to be where they always were, and we'll keep going with that. So, let's start with the periphery:

"I Had Some Help" by Post Malone and Morgan Wallen

I mean, it's fine, I don't think I'm adding it to a playlist to listen to in the 2040s but it's here and picking up steam.

"Please Please Please" by Sabrina Carpenter

Let's call Sabrina the Team USA of summer - not Gold but winning the medal count. This song is maybe taking over "Expresso" but not really.

"Polkamania" by Weird Al

Yeah!

"A Bar Song" by Shaboozey

It's my pick for song of summer and the one that gets in my head the most. I do think it's a clear #3 but it picked up a bit this week. Everything about it rules and I hope it's bigger than "Tipsy" ever was. Sorry J-Kwon. Shaboozey has another track out now, too. I don't think it will be a thing.

"Expresso" by Sabrina Carpenter

I mean, c'mon, definitely industry plant, right? She's just effortless in this debut and it's a big announcement of her on the pop scene. It feels like any other pop song. Something elevates it. I think it might just be horniness.

"Not Like Us" by Kendrick

I never want to prematurely annoint a Song of Summer, but something would have to be really really ubiquitous in August to overthrow Kendrick at this point. The only one I can really remember is "I Gotta Feeling" way back in 2009 that surged real late. There's a million things to note about this. It might be the most popular diss track of all time, and also one that really really sounds like libel? And Drake can't sue because he'd either look soft(er) or in discovery they'd find out he really is a pedophile. The whole thing is nuts. It is a good song, though. Catchy. Kendrick is definitely killing a beetle with a sledgehammer and the whole origin of the beef is so damn stupid but like, I don't know of any other beef with such a definitive winner.

Other people who are trying...

Charli XCX came out with a new one with Billie Eilish, which is a weird combo, and not a very good song. She also had "360" earlier, but I have found that while I want to be interested, I really can't get into it. Eminem's "Houdini" is maybe okay, but it's just not as big. Billie Eilish does have a lot of songs out, but they're all really depressing.

That's it! We have a few more weeks and then we'll call it for Labor Day!

Summer Brack 2024 Mid-Summer Brack Catch-up

We are knee deep in cicadas and summer sunshine now, folks, and as with any great American Independence Day Weekend it's time to check in on the vibes and rhythms that have kept our hearts pumping and our feet chattering this great season.

To be honest, hardly anything had changed in the past month, and I feel like we have a decent tie for the Top Three Songs of Summer so far. There are a couple other things coming in and our as they always do, but I'm curious what ends up having the legs to keep surging. Let's do this:

Chappel Roan / Billie Eilish

Each of a ton of songs out right now. I haven't heard any of them playing often and when I check them out I have no recognition nor desire to listen to them further. This is why this column is being dropped, people. I have just peaked and entered the long depressive valley of adulthood.

"Lithonia" by Childish Gambino

I don't know what's going on with this guy, but he has a movie, Bando Calrissian and some songs to go along with it. I like it, it's weird, rock-ish, and very determined. Not popular at all, not jammable, and not played any where. Hot jam of the week! Sounds like bad Sum 41 but soulfull.

"Million Dollar Baby" by Tommy Richman

Popular but I'm in the dark. The beat is okay.

"I Had Some Help" by Morgan Wallen and Post Malone

I have never heard this song before until I clicked it to write this article because it's charting. I can't make rhyme nor reason of our lives anymore. Whatever. This ain't my bag and doesn't feel like that much of a summer earworm, either.

"Houdini" by Eminem

I mean, this such a blatant attempt at vintage Eminem, and it's not very good or catchy in any way. Em is attaching himself to the anti-woke mob like he tried to position himself as an anti-Bush leader in the mid-2000s. I mean, fine, whatever, we can see it but no one really cares, Marshall. This is not that fun.

"Expresso" by Sabrina Carpenter

I actually really like this, it's just the ultimate no brain song. Industry plant of summer? I haven't heard "Please Please Please" on the radio at all but it's doing well on charts. I still hear like, "Feather" and shit. I think we need a whole other category for Midwestern radio hits.

"Not Like Us" by Kendrick

I caught all up on the Drake Beef stuff, and man it is so much stupider than I thought. The origin, to my understanding, is J. Cole saying him, Drake, and Kendrick were the Big Three, and Kendrick was just like, "Nah, I'm the best one." And there you have it. I mean, he's right, Kendrick vs. Drake is like Chappelle Show Wayne Brady against actual Wayne Brady. No one who starred in Degrassi can claim any kind of street cred. Stay in your lane, Drake, I liked "HYFR." This might be the most popular diss track of all time, and that's got to sting. Jeez the lyrics are all about Drake being a pedophile, though, it's nuts. I really love how Kendrick just played this five straight times in a row at his Juneteenth show. It's an unabashed and hitherto unforeseen level of pettiness which is great. Kendrick Lamar is the Reverse Flash of hip-hop but I'm on board.

"A Bar Song" by Shaboozey

This is really the only song that hits all three boxes for me. Played on the radio, played on Spotify, and I actually like it. It might be the Song of Summer but it needs to go on a little bit more to really earn its keep. I talked about earworms earlier, this is the only song I've really heard all year that sticks in my head. See, I like sort of country songs.

Midwestern Radio Hits

I don't know man, this is like, what I hear when I drive around. I really don't know how to even interpret the world any more. None of these are anywhere near the Billboard Hot 100 or Spotify Top 50. They just kind of exist under some long outdated model? Here we go!

"obsessed" by Olivia Rodrigo

I hear this all the time. It's not even one of her bigger hits from her last album but our radio loves it.

"End of Beginning" by Djo

"Agora Hills" by Doja Cat

I hear this all the time. Is it even a single of any kind? I dunno, it's been on the airwaves forever.

"You Broke Me First" by Tate McRae

I think some of these I have heard, like Benson Broome or whatever. Like, definite non-descript background noise.

Summer Jam 2023 SUMMER IS BRACK BRABY!

It's time again that I was compelled to create a brand new Summer Jam List! I mean, as you can tell, this blog has fallen on rough times. I blame the birth of my son, the cause of all my problems.

Actually, it's moreso that life is made up of much more than my thoughts on why The Fall Guy (2023) faltered. Hrmmm...maybe we should bring back Road to a Blockbuster...

Anyway, I'm diggin some tunes lately, so we gotta list them here!

"Espresso" by Sabrina Carpenter

I'm realizing I've had "Feather" in my head for weeks, but "Espresso" the Ostrich is definitely the hotter jam. It just hasn't hit my hometown of Middle America yet. Sabrina Carpenter is fine, she's got a good time, some spicy attitude, definitely feels like an industry plant, but hey, Olivia Rodrigo proved me wrong. There's a sameness to all her songs but they're ethereal and catchy enough.

"Not Like Us" by Kendrick Lamar

This song didn't blow my mind at first, but the more I listen to it, the more it simultaneously feels like Kendrick's most mainstream, attention-grabbing song, but also very removed and isolated like his work tends to be. I don't know anything about the Drake Beef or whatever, I dunno, Drake is like the softest cat in the game, who cares. It's like beefing with an actual piece of beef. Not much on the radio yet, but that's not even a thing anymore.

"A Bar Song" by Shaboozey

I've been obsessed with this one. I can't remember a song working its way so into my brain since...well, "Old Town Road" for lack of a better Black Country Comparison. The video is captivating, too. I don't know what it is, I think it's partially the off-center framing, the escalation of dance moves corresponding to the rhythm, and the juxtaposition of these white good ol' boys in the background who are simultaneously very modern with this black guy singing country to a hip hop beat and partially remixing J-Kwon's 2004 "Tipsy" which I don't think anyone except people my age remember.

Others

Yeah, let's bust up that 16-year old eight a week formula. I just don't actually care about any other song. There's like, a lot of Billie Eilish that's the same depressed shit, Taylor which is good for Taylor, Beyonce's Country Album, which is about exactly as good as Snoop Dogg's reggae album (I actually do like that...sort of), some Morgan Wallen, Post Malone, Hozier which blows. "Million Dollar Baby" is a strong number two and I just need to be exposed to that more or something, it's not hooking me.

That's it. We'll be back next month. Maybe. Go on with your lives! Happy start of the Seventeen-Week Summer Season!