Summer Jam 2019! Week 1! Let IT BEGIN!!

Welcome to the 10th Incarnation of Norwegian Morning Wood's Summer Jam Countdown!

Posts here have been so spotty lately. The Summer Jam will fix all of that! Probably. Each and every week until Labour Day we'll list off the Top Eight HOTTEST Jams in the Good Ol' Us of America and then tally up WHICH track is the final, ultimate Soundtrack to Summer 2019. It's going to be a good one. I can feel it. The media landscape isn't fractured!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Picasso" by Hopsin



I just searched for New Music, this jam popped up and I dug it. Is Hopsin a new hot artist on the Hip-Hop scene? The Travis Scott of 2019? Time will tell, but this is actually a bumpin jam, pretty brutal, clever, and a sick cutting beat. It's good enough to be the HOT ONE this week!

"Please Me" by Bruno Mars ft. Cardi B

An ancient song, but still hanging around this week - the second, much worse collabo between Bruni and Cardo does its job and is an earworm enough to be enjoyable. I naturally subconsciously searched for "Please Please Me" because of Johno and Pauli.

"Break Up with your Girlfriend, I'm Bored" by Ariana Grande

Ariana continues to dominate 2019 with every single thing she does, although this is a little bit of a lesser work compared to "Thank U, Next" and "7 Rings." It's the kind of bold, aggressive song that takes on a weird connotation after her series of high-profile relationships (chronicled with a little more tact in "Thank U, Next"). It's still a catchy jam, but it's pathway to the Top is probably over.

"Middle Child" by J. Cole

Did anyone else pick up on the moment when J. Cole became one of our best current rappers? He has a slew of hits, or at least songs lately, but this is chief among them. It's incredibly listenable in the background but also has significant lyrical weight when you sit down and contemplate it. Basically, a perfect rap song. I'll take it. A little old by Summer Jam standards, but it'll do.

"Old Town Road" by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus

How did Billy Ray Cyrus earn a #1 Billboard Single and it not be the year 1990? This is a solid jam that has set the streaming world on fire. Since I am old man in my 10th iteration of this insane list, I haven't gotten up on streaming yet. Still, I'll acknowledge this because it doesn't matter what old men say - just what Old Town Roads say. And they say...hotness. Also this video is tight.

"Sucker" by Jonas Bros

I didn't know that the Jonas Bros were still a thing nor that this track was a Jonas Bros track but I actually dig it. My pop knowledge is insane that it actually reminds me quite a bit of Fifth Harmony's "I'm in Love with a Monster" from a few years back. That's really a guilty pleasure song.

"WOW" by Post Malone

This is somehow one of P.M.'s best tracks. His flow is stellar as always, but it's the throbbing beat and weird dancing beard man that push it over the edge. It's such a devil may care video that fits pretty well with the post-modern musical landscape. The post-malone musical landscape, if you will.

"ME!" by Taylor Swift ft. Brendan Urie

Tay Tay deserves more credit for slight reinventions of herself as the years go on. She seems less about petty weird jealousy and fake feuds with Katy Perry than actually making some mature music these days. This track was everywhere this week and I think could last a bit. It's far too early to proclaim a Summer Jam Winner. Yes, it is. But on May 13, 2019 this is what we got. That's actually the point of this countdown, Robert.

Next week...

Oh, we'll have more. This is a solid list for right now but the ebbs and flows of our fickle musical landscape will morph and change until our destinies are fulfilled! To September!!

First Impressions: Captain Marvel

Listen, I'm not a fan of this once a month blogging thing, either. I need to get my act together. I saw Captain Marvel (2019) last month! Let's talk about that! SPOILERS forever!

By this point we need a lot of context. As Marvel Movie #21 there is inherently a lot of background to understand, but for how much people tend to gripe about this, Captain Marvel largely stands on its own, with little bits to discover as treats, not detractions. Considering how every other major studio has fallen on its face when it comes to shared cinematic universes, it's impressive that Marvel continues to actually restrain itself for stand-alone adventures. Of course Infinity War (2018) is something else entirely, but let's keep it to the Captain here.

Bring back Phyla-Vell!

The structure of the film exists in this weird limbo where we start en media res, somewhat eschewing a typical superhero origin story and making that origin more the driving mystery of the film. This ends up being a little choppy and haphazard, but if they had done anything any other way they'd be criticised for ripping off Doctor Strange (2016) or Iron Man (2008) or Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), or anything else they've done. There's not really a way to win this argument with people who aren't fans of these movies.

Captain Marvel largely succeeds as a film. Every character has a successful arc, action scenes are well-choreographed, and there are some engaging scenes at heart. It doesn't quite stand out as one of the greatest superhero films ever, but it's certainly an enjoyable time at the cinema. Let's talk about the cast.

Brie Larson is okay as the eponymous Captain Marvel, Carol Danvers of Earth who ends up a space commando for the Kree Empire. She can act, but the film tends to waddle the line of whether they want her to be an irreverent goof like Chris Pratt or a genuine badass like Chris Hemsworth (at least in the early Thor movies). We've seen that we can have both in THOR: Ragnarok (2017) and in Robert Downey, Jr. in everything, but the writing isn't quite as crisp here.

What's more powerful is what Cap'n stands for, and as there should be, there's a heavy feminist message here. The scene where she keeps getting up time after time should be immortalized forever as both an astounding character moment and a powerful statement for her gender. Even the end when she faces off with Jude Law who is still trying to bring her down to his level is a satisfying moment of a woman instead claiming her own destiny in her own way.

That being said, the film does creak a little bit into distaff counterparts rather than true feminism. Gal Gadot in Wonder Woman (2017) worked in part because she was a fierce warrior who also fought with love and compassion in ways that the cold, battle-hardened men couldn't. Marvel is feminist because the protagonist taking action is a woman, not because she's really doing feminist things. This is a tricky landmine to navigate. There are some moments that stand out, like her and her fellow fighter pilot not being allowed to fly male missions or the crude biker wanker who disrespects her. Still, part of it feels like cool girl wish fulfillment.

Speaking of that, why does every single Marvel superhero need a black best friend? It's kind of crazy at this point. Not only her fellow pilot, but Sam Jackson features more prominently here than in any other Marvel film, which was great to see. Marvel seems to stealth infuse different genres into its films lately, and this was totally a 90s buddy cop movie. Jackson's presence even gave it a Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) vibe, except you know - in space. In the way that some prequels tend to find a need to over-explain everything, there was also remarkable restraint here. The big thing is how Sam Jackson loses his eye, and having it scratched out by a kitty/space monster is pretty damn fitting.

On that 90s note, this also could have been a pretty heavy-handed nostalgia trip, but it's never very overwhelming. We aren't constantly reminded that it's the most Extreme Decade ever. Sure there are Nine Inch Nail shirts and Blockbuster Video, but it's not crazy. In fact, the Blockbuster really works because we have no frame of reference for the time period when Captain Marvel is flying around shooting folks in space. It instantly places us in time in a meaningful way. As for how that stacks up in the greater Marvel Cinematic Universe, I don't really care. It doesn't matter. This is a fun movie.

Some of the music choices were weirdly on the nose and tonally off. It's almost as if they were going for a 90s Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) soundtrack? "I'm Just a Girl" by No Doubt fit pretty solidly with Carol first really unleashing against her former Kree Commando colleagues. "Come As You Are" by Nirvana was super weird during the big moment when she's confronting the Supreme Intelligence, once she was revealed as the real villain of the picture.

One thing I was really excited about was that the villains weren't just doppelgangers of the hero. For how great it is and how amazing Killmonger is, Black Panther (2018) still beefed this. Every damn Marvel movie does. Instead we get the shape-shifting Skrull as who we THINK are the villains, but then it turns out that they're just like, the Mexicans of the Universe trying to find a new home. The immigration stance is not exactly obvious, like many things in this film - just the right touch. The real bad guys are the Kree, which we should kind of know from Ronan being insane and trying to destroy the Nova Corps in Guardians, but the switcheroo still largely works here. Everyone has a finely crafted motivation.

It also gives this idea that Captain Marvel is really special. There's no one like her in the Universe. Finally we had a real comic book origin - an experimental hyperspace engine explodes in her face. BAM you got superpowers now, girl. It's a totally un-recreatable accident. Because it actually doesn't matter how you get your powers, what matters is how it pushes the character underneath. Carol is manipulated, lied to, shackled, and space hypnotized or something. She also loses her space alien woman mentor, just like Steve and Tony. There's not really much re-inventing the wheel here, but nice to see Annette Benning playing a role worthy of her talents, as well as women helping women.

This film plays with what is good and evil in really interesting ways. You get the sense that Carol would be on Cap's side in CIVIL WAR (2016), trusting individuals and independence rather than shady government oversight. The comic nerd in me kept waiting for the other shoe to drop with the Skrulls, though. The Skrulls are like the ultimate bad guys! They're never good. Real jerks. Super-skrull is actually one of my all-time favourite supervillains. We can hope and dream about him fighting a Marvel Fantastic Four one day. I just don't think his powers would make much sense otherwise...

But we ARE actually now set up for a Secret Invasion. That's a thing. And there were all sorts of Super-skrulls with like, combined powers of Dr. Strange and Iron Man for some reason. This nerdiness actually took me out of the movie because I got so caught up in waiting for the moment that Ben Mendolsohn betrays Sam Jackson and Brie Larson again. That never came, which I thought was super weird, but everyone else enjoyed it because it's just a good movie. The sneaky Skrulls matching up against the might of the Kree reminded me of the only other Marvel movie to actually have the villain's powers complement and nullify the hero's, which was Iron Man 3 (2013). See? I told you we couldn't do this without context of the 20 other marvel films.

As far as Marvel films go this is solid, but not completely mind-blowing. Everything largely works and it's fun to see more of the cosmic side of things from a non-completely insane perspective. Brie Larson ought to have a large role in the upcoming Endgame and we'll see how all this crap sorts out!

First Impressions: VICE

Hey.

We're still alive. Sort of.

I apologize that this blog has fallen quite a bit - there has been a lot going on in life that this has been pushed more towards the outside. But we haven't had a month go by in ten years where we haven't posted, so let's try to avoid that with a totally timely appreciation of the movie VICE (2018).

I saw VICE on Christmas Day. I hope to crank these out a little quicker, and we'll see how much of this I remember. It ranked in the Top 10 in a disturbing Adam McKay trend of writing really solid movies that are assembled together half-hazard as hell. Let's dive in with a solid speck of SPOILERS to discuss this three-month old movie.

Fool me once shame on you...heh...can't fool me again!

VICE centers around Dick Cheney, played here by Christian Bale in what's on the surface a phenomenal body transformation. Bale did real skinny for The Machinist (2004) and The Fighter (2010) and then real jacked for each Batman movie, it's about time he showed us he can just go old and fat as well. Sure, he paunched for American Hustle (2013), but this is impressive. Further than cramming McDonalds into his mouth, Bale also nails the voice, demeanor, and attitude of our 46th Vice-President. At this point we can say that he lost the Academy Award to Rami Malek, but the Academy seems to be awarding young male actors over older counterparts these days. To be fair, Rami's performance in Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) was also amazing.

Bale is the big centerpiece performance. Now that that discussion is out of the way let's talk some of this film's actual merit. Like I said, director Adam McKay in his foray into dealing with serious political subjects through an irreverent lens has earned him critical applause, but I'm more stricken with how much he seems to have departed his style. Step Brothers (2008) and The Other Guys (2010) are completely bonkers movies filled with over-the-top characters, but directorially they're laser-sharp. A big reason these films work is from how grounded and assured the plots are. Despite heavy improvisation, everything gels and moves forward.

The Big Short (2015) and VICE disregard this for some reason. They are full of abrupt shifts in tone, plot, and setting, the former acting more like a series of interconnected vignettes rather than an in-depth look at the housing crisis. VICE is better - there is a core biography and a consistent running theme at its heart, but it blasts around like a crazy person. Some work, others fall flat. The Shakespeare scene really took me out of the picture, but the fake credits mid-way was brilliant. Regardless of what stuck and what didn't though, I'm still struck that McKay was never this meta-goofy in his straight comedies. I would rather see his full wit and satire on display than resorting to gimmicks.

The rest of the cast shines. Amy Adams is fine as Lynne Cheney, especially in one scene where she lowest common denominator campaigns for her ailing husband, where she riles up conservatives is easy to point to as an early origin of Republican fear-mongering. This is of course a little dubious, though, and the satire worked a little better when it was idiot Ron Burgundy creating the 24-hour News Cycle in Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013). When McKay applies false or stretched facts to real figures it lessens the satire. This is also Adams and Bale's third collabo after The Fighter and American Hustle, which is bizarre.

Sam Rockwell is fine as George W., although it feels like a missed opportunity not to cast his muse, Will Ferrell. That might have been distracting, but as the film attempts to make a statement about the W presidency, his role isn't all that significant anyway. Rounding out the cast is Steve Carrell as Donald Rumsfeld, who is brilliant and somehow disappears into the role. I wish Carrell would get more serious looks as an actor, especially when he's having fun like this.

Let's get into the real meat of this film. One thing McKay lacks is subtlety - he flat out says in the beginning that the film attempts to scrutinize one of the most inscrutable political figures of our time, and wants to expose and examine Cheney for the crook and war criminal he is. Where the film succeeds the most is how it tries to show how Cheney was able to grab power, transform the Vice Presidency, and how smart and slimy politicians manage to weave their way around the law and Constitution to do just about whatever they like. Since Cheney won't fully admit to anything...ever...it's hard to know, or perhaps ever know how much of this film is true.

VICE also attempts to pin a lot of Trump-ism on Cheney, from his aforementioned fear-mongering wife, to investments in FOX News, to diving into an America-first never-ending war in the Middle East. Most of these issues and developments are too systematic and complex to pin on one man, but I give McKay credit for trying to connect some dots. Again, some of this is too forced to sustain credibility.

I also wish the film had come up with some way to decipher why Cheney did all that he did. There doesn't seem to be much in the way of discerning motivation throughout the whole movie. It's hard to understand why he kept pushing so hard beyond early scenes with his wife pushing him to be less of a drunken Wyoming idiot, and hinting that he simply likes to manipulate people and play the political chess game. My thoughts traveled to Errol Morris' The Unknown Known (2013), which attempted to understand Rumsfeld through a series of interviews. That film also ultimately came up with nothing. Is it as simple as oil profits? It's like our turn of the century leaders were Die Hard villains - yes, it's that simple. Money.

Why did I rank a movie this sloppy so high? There was lot here that stuck with me. Beyond Bale's instantly inconic Dick performance, I've dwelled on this quite a bit in the past three months, which is more than most films. I think often of the silent, thoughtful man in the room lying in wait as the true danger, while the more blustery politicians wear their intentions on their sleeves. I think of Cheney's coin toss decision to join the Republicans. I think of the fact that he was the rare Republican in support of gay marriage, which he seems to abandon to fully ingratiate himself in the conservative cause by the films' end. I think of the final shot, the least subtle in film history since The Departed (2006), that lingers on his black, diseased heart - suggesting that the subject of this film is literally heartless. That heart of course belongs to our narrator in a scene that I figured out right before it happened, but too late to not be shocked by the sudden impact and implication. Even though it reaches, it's also a film entrenched in modern politics.

It might be because I came of age around the 2000s, but the Bush Presidency and origins of the Iraq War also fascinates me. At the time what was presented to us seemed so simple and the depth of the lies revealed afterwards, along with the complete failure of anyone to take action is mind-blowing. There is an astounding lack of accountability and I fear that Trump mostly exists so that we may look back fondly on the Bush Era. VICE does help remind us that all these people are unambiguous war criminals and like the greed-driven banks in The Big Short, completely fine with destroying the country they serve for their own personal gain.

I'm excited for all the Trump movies that will come out over the next twenty years.