13 August 2012

Summer Jam Week 14: Jack, Kelly, and Sterling, no doubt

Hello once again folks, to the fourteenth Week of the Last Summer we'll ever know before the Mayans put this world away once and for all. As the Olympics wrap up and everyone stops caring about Gymnastics and Badminton, we can take solace in listening to some hot jams by people with hot bods. Let's get started:

Hot Track of the Week: "Freedom at 21" by Jack White

Does the intro to this track given anyone else a little Cox & Combes' "Washington" vibe? Jack White is interesting, I feel like there were a lot of haters who denounced him during his White Stripes days, but everyone seems to hold up high nowadays as one of the last great mainstream rock stars. I never really had a problem with anything he's put out, though it seems like Meg White did come with some baggage that he's free of now. This shit is hotter than any White Stripes jam, though I'm still jonesing for a more-complex-than-necessary Lego vid.

The Anthem of a Cave Vagina: "Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson

This is pretty bad, and I'm not sure how it happened, but the first time I heard this track I imagined Kelly singing about her Vagina - and it fits perfectly. Just let this song play and picture her singing about her cooter. It works so well it's creepy. Or maybe it's just a testament to my immaturity. I'm just proud she's gotten to work on her Lunch Lady Arms. And the basic fact that she's the only relevant American Idol winner who isn't a country star. Thank goodness.

Reggae-Hop: "Tell Her Again" by Sterling Simms ft. Meek Mill

Not only is this a rad reggae-influenced track to jam to on a hot summer day, but it sounds much worse when the "pussy" is censored in the radio version. I mean, Sterling is just crooning about his own ability to pleasure a lady. He doesn't want to actually kill her, which is kind of what it sounds like when censored. When will we learn?

I Doubt It: "Settle Down" by No Doubt

I did doubt that No Doubt could make it on to this list, until I heard this song every single morning I woke up this week. It's certainly a fun track and sounds very No Doubt-like, which is refreshing. It's also nice to see that Gwen Stefani has hardly aged at all, in either looks or attitude. If anything she's gotten better - in both looks and attitude. It's also nice to see that one Indian guy still bumming around. You got to have that random Indian.

Inexplicit: "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)" by Pink

I actually listened to this track this week and I kind of realised that no part of it is really sexual or dirty at all beyond the title. I like how Pink is kind of a Pop Renegade, but she gets into attention-whoring territory too often to really be subversive. She also confines herself to fairly typical pop structures although she swears a lot more. This is the kind of thing that Rihanna did too - and it is freeing to hear Pop Songs that can't appear on Kidz Bop. I still get a Franz Ferdinand vibe from this thing, though.

Blow Me, For Real: "Whistle" by Flo Rida

This track came back this week, tho it has lost quite a bit of its edge since its peak a few weeks ago. After Pink fakes her oral fixation, Flo Rida has no problem in his innuendo. It's interesting how he keeps doing this while other Rappers have no problem saying exactly what they mean (see Sterling Simms above). Also this remix is actually pretty tight. You gotta throw some Wiz in to keep it interesting, man. But really, Flo is a pop hit-maker over an authentic hip-hop artist or hell, even over a being a real human being. Get at me.

Again: "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen

This week Carly Rae became the longest-running #1 Billboard act of 2012 so far. Congratulations. How did this happen? Let the parodies flow strong and good as any pretension of any other artist gaining the recognition of Summer Jam Queen fades away. This is it baby. Maybe.

Next Week...

Nicki Minaj has a new single that's pretty OK, if not groundbreaking like some of her 2010 work. I'm also curious if now-Openly gay rapper Frank Ocean's "Swim Good" can catch on to beat the Summer Heat, though it was released a while ago. Simply because the game is one of the more homophobic institutions out there (maybe 2nd to the Boy Scouts of America...and Mitt Romney's Campaign Staff), it's groundbreaking to see this cat have success. I think Katy's "Wide Awake" is still on the fringe, but there were just far too many more interesting songs this week to include. Same goes for fun., whose "We Are Young" is STILL getting tons of airtime. Stay tuned, folks.

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