2019 FINISHED! These Movies Were So Bad!

As we wrap up another year it's time to end on an awful note. Or...AWESOME note! We've talked at length about our Favourite Films of 2019, and the best films we saw this year, but it's time to talk about the flat-out worst films we saw. Let's go by year and by all-time that we just happened to watch this year.

Exposed (2016)

I watched this because it starred Keanu Reeves and Ana de Armas, the former of which is an obvious all-time favourite actor, and the latter is a rising star who I've enjoyed in everything so far (including the recently awesome Knives Out [2019]). Plus they were both in Knock Knock (2015). Okay, they're sexy. They're just really hot. Is that what you want to hear? This movie was so boring and forgettable I literally added it to my Netflix Queue again three months after seeing it because of all those reasons above. Like, I still wanted to watch it. Completely forgot that I had already. This was terrible.

Polar (2018)

Mads Mikkelson is pretty awesome and this was on Netflix, so whatever - cool! Problematic is the kindest way to describe the plot of this film, which seems to try to be a Liam Neeson-esque protective revenge fantasy, but bungles every possible scene. Nothing makes sense, and although it seems at first like it isn't taking itself seriously, all the style and pizzazz are empty. It actually makes me appreciate someone like Quentin Tarantino a lot more - his clones fall on their face.

The Other Side of the Wind (2018)

I dig Orson Welles, especially late Orson Welles when he was just impossibly fat and crazy. I've modeled much of my life on him. I watched the documentary, They'll Love Me When I'm Dead (2018) and got excited about this possible lost, unfinished film by Welles. It was to be his last masterpiece, one that could change film forever, again! I hope to chalk this up as a whiff because Welles died thirty years ago, but this incomprehensible mess that works best if you know all the intimate relationships of all the actors (well, mostly directors who are acting) involved in the 1970s. There is a sincere meta quality here that may have worked out, but it's such a mess. Somehow it needed another thirty years in editing.

Europa Report (2013)

This sci-fi film had just been in my streaming queue forever. I don't know why, maybe I just liked the title and thumbnail. This should be deleted from all streaming queues. It turned out to be a found footage film, which just didn't work in the scope of space. It's all a building mystery and then at the end it's just like, a monster that eats people. It's so deflating. It pretends to deal with some deep cosmic horror but it's just like a squid. And yeah, I spoiled it for you without warning. This was on purpose. There are some interesting actors here, but don't bother with this one.

6 Underground (2019)

So by default the worst film in 2019 that I saw, this was just a huge disappointment. Why can't anyone figure out the right tone for Ryan Reynolds? They make him too dangerous to be playful and Bay, while he's always reliable for getting a great action shot and usually does better with a smaller budget (yes, believe me), can't wrap his head around this plot. Despite an incredibly charismatic cast this just stumbles not out of implausibility (I mean, that's a given here), but from tone and what the film wants to be. It's a mess.

There were others that you might be surprised about. I loved CATS (2019) despite it being objectively terrible, but that's kind of the point. There were a lot of other pretty bad ones. In the Army Now (1994), 47 Ronin (2013, yes I really tried a lot of Keanu this year), Jupiter Ascending (2015), and Hellboy (2019) are all good candidates. None of these, however, made me as angry as what you see above. Happy 2020!!

2019 FINISHED! Top 10 Movies

It is finally the end of the year. And so, after a long series of posts about movies this year here is the only one that really matters. The FINAL definitive Top Ten for the films of 2019. Now, as usual, we were totally wrong last year. Let's give an updated BEST of 2018!

Revised 2018 List:

American Animals
Assassination Nation
Ballad of Buster Scruggs
Vice

Annihilation

Widows

BlacKkKlansman
The Death of Stalin
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Sorry to Bother You

Now it's time to get into 2019!

#10: JoJo Rabbit

It's scary to think about Taikia Waititi can do totally unchained and with full confidence behind him after making a huge game-changing major studio blockbuster. Yeah, that result was JoJo Rabbit. It's hilarious, painful, gruesome, and full of commentary. It's the kind of original film that sticks with you for a while but also completely bonkers. I don't know where Taika goes from here, but he joins a long list of great Hitler parodies.

#9: Dolemite is My Name

This movie gives credibility to one of the most niche artists of all time, Rudy Ray Moore. Who better to play the iconic black star than the biggest black star of all time, Eddie Murphy. Eddie does a fantastic job here, and the film works both within its context and with what's going on in the margins. On it's face it's an Ed Wood (1994) - style insider look at a famously bad movie and terrible filmmaker. In reality it's a statement about both what culture appeals to American Black Community and how mainstream purveyors of pop culture tend to totally ignore that.

#8: Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Alright, I know, I know. No one else is going to have this on their list. This is just another ridiculous smash 'em up Hollywood blockbuster that revels in excess, sacrifices character for spectacle, and is a hollow cash grab. I loved every second. It's world-ending mayhem, globe-trotting wackiness, and a total lean-in to the ridiculousness of these Kaiju, all while actually giving quite a bit of deference and fan service to the totally pulp source material. This stuff was never meant to be given the multi-hundred million dollar tentpole treatment. It's dudes in bad rubber suits. I don't know why this exists, but I love that it does.

#7: The Irishman

I mostly can't believe that this movie even exists. There a lot of problems with the CGI de-aging, not so much that it looks crappy (it largely doesn't), but that it doesn't give newer younger actors a chance to break out (the common refrain is that Bob De Niro got his major break playing a younger version of Marlon Brando in The Godfather: Part II [1974]. With Scorsese in 2019 he would have just de-aged Brando...). Still, this is what Goodfellas (1990) should have been. The glamour of the mob world is stripped and we instead have a lonely, sad old man who kills without compassion until he just sort of dies alone. It's definitely too long but still a director near the top of his game.

#6: Booksmart

This at first just seems like a female Superbad (2007). I mean, down to literally starring the female Jonah Hill (his sister, Beanie Feldstein). But what happens when it's like...BETTER than Superbad? Booksmart takes the genre into a fun directions, especially as it explores the simple fact that everyone who seemed to party and not care in High School are actually also as successful as the nerds. I was among the nerds. That sucks. It's fun and positive as hell.

#5: Us

There wasn't a film that made me think more this year, and even if the entire core conceit doesn't actually make all that much sense, that's not really the point of this movie. It blends itself more truly in that fantasy fairy tale world and as you think more about who is switching with who and how the Tethered mirror and amplify the personality aspects of their corresponding characters the depth of this movie reveals itself. That doesn't even say enough about the political ramifications, the spiritual ramifications, even the title - U.S. It's us! There is more to this than we can get into here, but in an age where these original films are so rare, this was a treat.

#4: Knives Out

We might as well cite the other big original film this year. Knives Out was constantly surprising and a somehow fresh take on the murder mystery genre, fueled by the greatest cast of any movie this year. It's exceptionally well made and rewards multiple viewings despite blowing its secret far too early. BUT DOES IT?! Reveals aren't reveals, except they kind of are, and Daniel Craig is Alabaman. It's great.

#3: The Lighthouse

This might be #1. It's a good candidate. Robert Eggers follows up The Witch (2015) with another bizarre period piece in what's getting to be a good genre for him. Black and White and in a boxy 1.19:1 aspect ratio, it's also the best looking film here, in large part because these conscious choices inform the story being told. That story is Robert Pattinson and a mostly farting Willem Dafoe hanging in a lighthouse, which are two people we need in 2019.

#2: Uncut Gems

This is the film I watched most recently and the hype is real. Adam Sandler delivers an amazing performance by actually just being really Adam Sandler-y, and the film is a frenetic, stress-inducing two hours of mayhem and bad deals gone worse. Its unpredictable until its final moments, which I'm still digesting as to whether it's earned, but for a brief moment it does feel really good. Then reality, but it's all good. Ultimately a sad story of a degenerate insane gambler.

#1: Midsommar

This may sound weird, but I saw Midsommar last week and didn't really think it was the greatest film of the year, but going through this list today it just worked out. Don't ignore that as a less-than-ringing endorsement, this is fantastic. Like Robert Eggers, this is the highly anticipated follow-up from a quasi-arthouse freshman debut (in this case, Ari Astra's follow-up to Hereditary (2018). This is one of the best films I've seen to deal with the heavy emotional baggage that comes with loss, particularly suicide, which then blends into a pagan horror film, although it remains slight and subtle. Well, mostly. It's not a film I would rush out to watch again, but it sure did stick with me.

Honorable Mentions:

There are quite a few. The Beach Bum was so pointless but ultimately amazing. I was close to including The Perfection because its twists, plotting, set-up and pay-off, and the sway allegiance to protagonists shift is just so amazing. Finally, I never got a chance to see Hustlers, 1917, Midway, or Parasite, all of which might creep back in when we reevaluate in December 2020!!

What do you think? What are your picks for the film of the year?

2019 FINISHED! Top Movies Seen for the First Time in this Calendar Year

This is always a weird column because it's really a shine towards my personal tastes. Basically, every year I keep track of every film and TV show I watch. To me this is more genuine than a simple "Best of 2019" list because it's more a ranking as if every movie I saw for the first time had come out in 2019. This is so subjective. But for you, dear reader, it works as a way to highlight maybe a movie that has been otherwise lost in the shuffle, or there could be something you haven't heard of or haven't gotten around to. I like it. For the first time doing this, I'd also like to exclude any film actually made in 2019. Now that's a lot to think about.

Let's do a quick run down:

American Animals (2018)

I've never quite seen a film constructed like this in faux-documentary style which is kind of an actual documentary? It plays with its narrative as it goes, inviting the actual participants of the failed heist of the most expensive book of all time to comment in talking heads on what we're watching Evan Peters and company act out. Beyond that it's also a gripping story about how easy it is for white collar college kids to hop into serious crime, or at least think they can. There's real consequences here and the film isn't afraid of a downer ending. This snuck under the radar in 2018 and even though I caught it in January of last year, it stuck with me.

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

I watched this movie out of both a desire to see more old Universal Studios horror movies and because I've never jumped into that much Abbott and Costello. This movie was hilarious. In an age where we seem to be struggling to find our comedic footing it was amazing how great their timing was, how quickly they establish their characters, and how funny they remain seventy years later! It's suddenly apparent why these comics are considered timeless. They literally are! This was also a nice way to get Frankenstein, the Wolfman, and Dracula all on screen together, almost all played by original actors! I just kept thinking about like, Seth Rogen and James Franco starring in a Freddy vs. Jason movie. That's about the equivalent here.

The Great Escape (1963)

This is a classic that hopped on Netflix, so no brainer here. In the past few years I've been trying to expand my Paul Newman and Steve McQueen knowledge and what struck me the most is just how much of an impact this film has had on the past fifty years of culture. So many Simpsons references I now understand. It's such a simple movie but works as a brutal prison movie, a character study, even in some ways as a comedy. The amount of assumptions here that keep the film moving despite its long runtime, the cleverness of the escape attempts, and the very real and demonstrable stakes make this still a great one.

Road House (1989)

I was surprised that this wasn't appreciated when it came out. Maybe I thought it was more of a classic than it was, but I ended up loving this. I had always avoided it, maybe it seemed like more of a Red Dawn (1984) bro flick or something to me, but it was consistent, exciting, dramatic, dangerous, and pretty fun. Swayzee is great on his own then young Sam Elliott shows up! Fantastic!

Free Solo (2018)

Not about liberating Han, this is a recent documentary about professional rock climber Alex Honnold who loves climbing so much he tends to do it without ropes. Watching Alex's personal obsession with danger is almost as impressive as his ability to hold on by his fingertips thousands of feet above the ground on a slick sheer surface of rock. The real-life danger is always present and this could have turned into an absolute tragedy with just a few more strong breezes. The fact that there's only one way out of this profession is the most depressing stat yet. Good movie!

Assassination Nation (2018)

Okay, no 2019s but we threw a lot of 2018s in that we just didn't get to that year. This movie is bonkers and probably a little bit exploitative of what it's trying to satire, but it's also the most coherent statement on privacy in an age of both hacks and just general Internet stupidity. It's laced with irony, lust, terror, revenge, and righteous fury. I loved this movie. It gripped me hard and never let go by piling insanity over insanity, all fairly motivated.

In the Mouths of Madness (1994)

This was an offbeat choice to watch - a relatively obscure John Carpter film starring Sam Neill right after Jurassic Park (1993). That this was his next film should say a lot about Sam Neill. It's like a Lovecraft story without exactly being Lovecraft and on the surface seems like a Stephen King story without quite being that, either. It ends up being a trippy dance with the nature of insanity and reality, which has enough mind-bending moments that was right up my alley.

Bonnie and Clyde (1967)

This is another classic that for some reason I had never gotten around to. It is preceded by a fifty-year reputation for changing filmmaking, but the most I really knew about it was Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty screwing up the Oscars and that Jay-Z and Beyonce song. I've been missing out. It's a competent period piece that says more about the relationships between impotent women and potent women than it does about cinematic violence. Or at least that's a much more jaded 2019 perspective. It's really a brutal film that makes you sympathize with horrible spree robbers and thoughtless killers. It's all part of this film's magic that these two are heroes.

Aguirre, Wrath of God (1972)

I've definitely been on a Herzog kick, and this was an obvious choice. It's clear that I'm attracted to totally off the wall films and this is up there. I mean, this was enough:



There are coherent criticisms of colonialism mixed with a Colonel Kurtz-esque search through an impenetrable jungle where hope slowly decreases until it's clear that there is no going back from this mad journey. From there it's fun to see Klaus Kinski double down on desperate craziness rather than finding any rational way out. There is ultimately no purpose for the Conquistator's journey, but pride be damned if they admit that.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

Conceived in the paranoid 70s, this film echoes even more in the current day. It's a classic story of pod people replacing everyone on earth and gets points for its escalation, complete failure of government institutions, and of course, the greatest scream in cinema history. It's subtle sci-fi that brewed a phenomenal cast, offers protagonists that twist and turn and become hard to trust, and provides a weary chase where everything we think we love is taken away. Fun for the whole family!

Solid Honorable Mention goes to A Simple Plan (2018), which I totally wrote off when it came out as a joke campy thriller, but it's just so much more than that. Okay, it's definitely a joke campy thriller, but it's also the fun version of Gone Girl (2014), which I never knew I needed so bad.

What did you watch this year? Any gems or classics you caught up on that you should have watched years ago?

2019 Stuff We Looked Forward to...in REVIEW!

Last January I made the bold prediction that "2019 will be the greatest year for movies in the 10,000 history of humanity" You had better believe that I was 100,000% right! That's the deal we make here at Norwegian Morning Wood. 100,000 percent right for 10,000 years. Anyway, most of these films actually turned out to be not that bad. So, let's dive in with what we predicted might not suck in 2019:

Like this face, 2019 was a MYYYYSSSTERY!!!

Godzilla: King of the Monsters - 05/19

Verdict: GREAT! This movie was amazing and I loved every single second of it. This ultimately wasn't all that impactful and it's a miracle they will move forward with Godzilla vs. Kong (2020), but I was at least super into this. Full review here.

Avengers: Endgame - 04/26

Verdict: GREAT! Delivered on just about everything it could have and successfully capped off the first eleven years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Well worth the wait and extremely satisfying. Full review here.

Detective Pikachu - 05/19

Verdict: OKAY! It was still a really bizarre way to introduce live action Pokemon to a mainstream audience and Ryan Reynolds was definitely miscast, but there were plenty of fun moments and nice to see some favorite on the screen.

Spider-Man: Far From Home - 07/05

Verdict: GOOD! I like this a lot, probably more than Homecoming (2017). It grounds itself in characters really well and Tom Holland is incredibly likable as Peter Parker. The weight of Tony Stark weighs a little heavy, to the point where Spider-Man is starting to feel like an Iron Man spin-off and I wish he had his own identity a little more. Still, in the big spectrum of MCU films, this is in the Top Third.

Joker - 10/04

Verdict: OKAY! I didn't end up seeing this and although it has earned an extreme amount of both critical and commercial acclaim it seems like it's dropped at a tough time for its subject matter politically. OR depending on your point of view, an excellent time. I'm reserving judgment on how much it glorifies vs. satirizes its male subject matter, but I'd say it was at least a strong cultural force that ought to have some big waves in blockbuster filmmaking.

Ad Astra - 05/24

Verdict: PROBABLY PRETTY GOOD! I also didn't see this, but heard good things. I would like to because I think it has earned deserved praise, but it also seems to have been forgotten rather quickly.

Six Underground - Sometime

Verdict: BAG OF TRASH! This was probably one of the worst movies of the year. I could have likely seen this coming. For some reason Ryan Reynolds is straight up only good as Deadpool. And in Adventureland (2009) and Just Friends (2005).

Knives Out - 11/27

Verdict: FANTASTIC! One of the best movies of the year, original, encapsulating, fun, mysterious, and a dream cast. Just great. Full review here.

The Lighthouse - Someday

Verdict: GREAT! Okay, I didn't see it. But I want to and it looks great. Reviews have been stellar. It's not going to light the world on fire, but it seems like my jam.

Uncut Gems - Whenever

Verdict: GREAT! I also didn't see this. Yet. I might when it gets a wider release. But by all accounts Sandler is huge, the movie is great, Kevin Garnett for some reason. This seems to have delivered on its January 2019 promise.

I also had a long list of possibly good movies. Let's go through them just as fast:

Rocketman - Okay
Ford vs Ferrari - Pretty good
Boss Level - This did not happen
Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood - I didn't like it, but successful
SHAZAM! - Pretty good
Hobbes and Shaw - Okay
Velvet Buzzsaw - This ended up being okay, a little letdown
Brightburn - Not that great
Cold Pursuit - Greatest movie ever
Us - Amazingly fantastic

What did you think about 2019 movies? Did they deliver on your hype?!

2019 FINISHED! Movie Stuff of the Year

It's that most lovely time of year, folks. Not only do we countdown our movies and scenes and music and all the food we ate, but we dig a little deeper. This column has ranged a little bit over the years but we're sticking to the basics in 2019. Can't you tell?

Actor of the Year

One may only look towards the Golden Globe nominees to see how weird 2019 has become. Hanks, Hopkins, Pesci, Pacino, Pitt reads like it's 1991. What the hell is going on here? After Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood and Ad Astra, is Brad Pitt having the best year? Is he really the definitive Actor of 2019? Keanu Reeves was certainly the Actor of May 2019. Adam Sandler? Again, 90s. Shit, man. James McAvoy actually had one of the more prolific years, with Glass, It: Chapter Two, and X-Men: Dark Phoenix. Every single one of these movies felt like the lesser version of their predecessor, though. Going with IT, hell, maybe it's Finn Wolfhard or Bill Hader.

Let's go with a classic double shot. Chris Evans gave us the most defining performance of the biggest movie of the year as well as played that completely against type in a critical and commercial darling (that made 6% of Endgame's total worldwide). I'm not totally sold on it, but between Endgame and Knives Out, Chris Evans is maybe THE ACTOR of 2019. Of course The Rock has Jumanji coming out to add to Hobbs & Shaw. And Adam Driver has The Rise of Skywalker to add to Marriage Story and The Man Who Killed Don Quixote and The Report. Maybe it's Adam Driver's. It certainly feels like a bigger year for Driver rather than Evans. Let's go with him.

Actress of the Year

Jessica Chastain has the same deal as McAvoy. I mean, quite literally, they were in the same movies. Poor cultural influence, though. Scarlett Johansson goes the Adam Driver route of Marriage Story and a big one, Endgame. Jennifer Lopez is hot right now because it's the 90s. Daisy Ridley pulled down Jumanji and Endgame. Endgame casts a long damn shadow.

Naomi Scott should fit the bill. Huge movie with Aladdin and a solid follow-up franchise starter with Charlie's Angels. Except the former bombed and seems to have passed quickly from memory. Even Aladdin doesn't seem like it ended up holding much weight. That's not fair - Scott is the biggest non-Will Smith name in that cast! Oh, maybe that's why. Margot Robbie had OUATIH and the upcoming Bombshell which would be a really good case in any other year...

But let's go with a no brainer, a newbie who held her own against actors who have been doing this superhero thing for eleven years. Brie Larson in the one-two punch of Captain Marvel and Endgame proved herself to be a cultural force this year unlike many who came before. I have no idea where they're taking her next (she was conspicuously absent of Marvel's next plan. They also didn't really know what to do with her for most of Endgame. Cool. Can't wait to see what's next whenever they think of an actual idea.

Trailers of the Year

I really didn't watch many trailers this year. I've kind of stopped. Even for movies that I think I'll like - I most just go see them instead. There weren't a ton that stood out. There are a few Christmas releases that have all been pretty interesting. Let's rank by order of goodness:

Jumanji: The Next Level



Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) was a huge guilty pleasure for me. I have no shame about this. This sets up a sequel with the same exact premise but pushed even more insane by having The Rock play Danny DeVito and Kevin Hart play Danny Glover. The trailer shows all this and more. It works on premise more than stakes and it does a great job of getting me interested in wasting $10 this Christmas.

Bombshell



According to early reviews, this trailer is a little better than the final film, which seems to deal with more surface level Fox News issues than digging deep into these problems and providing a proper #MeToo film. That's okay - we can still watch this trailer and pretend this is the massive takedown film it could be. Starring three fantastic actresses in different stages of their careers coming together is amazing. It's like a blonde version of The Hours (2002). I'm a big fan of teasers that show one simple scene that demonstrates the feel of the entire movie. Bombshell knocks this out of the park.

CATS



Lol just trolling you. But really, this trailer is fine, great even. The subject matter is just so cuckoo bananas off the mark that there's no way anyone will see this film except for the dumpster fire memes it will generate. Ooh, we should just through Sonic The Hedgehog (2020) on this fire, too. I'll give the Sonic people all the credit in the world for admitting a weird mistake and correcting it. CATS not so much. They really should probably just have human bodies or cat bodies, not somehow both.

Wonder Woman 1984



This just dropped and I love it. I have no idea what this is about or why Steve Trevor is back and it seems to probably reveal way too much, but the soundtrack is bumpin and the humor and action seem on point. Why is it in 1984? Just nostalgia porn? A fascinating inability to set women superhero stories in the present day? I don't know, this does seem fun, though. It finds itself my most anticipated superhero film of 2020.

Hero of the Year

There are so many good candidates. Iron Man? John Wick? The Girl from Crawl? Queen Elsa? Let's go with a dark horse candidate from an insanely underrated movie - SHAZAM! This was all about a kid who wants to be a hero, and then becomes one, but has to learn that it's not that easy. That sounds simple, but this fun flick paid off in really satisfying ways that felt weirdly under the radar for a major DC movie. I guess that's why.

It was a really weird feeling. I think about who I would want in my corner. I just want Shazam there zapping folks. We probably need a Shazam vs. Thor movie now. That would be perfectly fine. I welcome the haters for not picking a single character from Endgame. Or CATS.

Villain of the Year

Eek! I've been waiting seven months for this! It's King Ghidorah from Godzilla: King of the Monsters! I heartless alien fiend that can't be reasoned with or spoken to - merely unleashed and then uhh...leashed. It's a literal alien monster hurricane that destroys most of the planet before Godzilla can nuke him out of Boston. He's fearsomely powerful, intelligent, and untouchable. It's perfect.

Ok, Thanos, Joker, It, the alligator from Crawl. Or the entire village from Midsommar. Or the Tethered from Us. Damn, these are all good candidates. I'm sticking with Ghidorah. My second pick would be SPOILER stop reading if you haven't seen Far from Home, but you should honestly have figured this out - Mysterio! Slyly powerful, a master emotional manipulator, mind games, illusions - always one of my favorite villains brought to life in the best possible way. It's honestly better if you don't know he's a villain, but also every single appearance of Mysterio in every comic, TV show, and video game has started out like this. That Far from Home actually still sells that and almost convinced me, is brilliant. It's like Paul Rudd totally definitely not playing the same Mac and Me (1988) clip on Conan.

Conclusion

2019 was  a very big year. Endgame, Star Wars, Marvel, Disney remakes, Pixar fourquels. It's a lot. Maybe I'm just digging a bigger niche hole for myself, but not many of the biggest movies seemed to make a cultural impact, though. Where are the Toy Story 4 and Lion King memes? I'm at a point where I'm not actually sure if I just have superhero algorithms blasting at me in my self-perpetuating bubble or nothing else really made an impact.

There were massive flops. Audiences may actually be getting tired of seeing the same crap totted out over and over again. To be specific, though, they still want crap, just new old crap. There are weird Disney flops, though, like Mary Poppins Returns (2018) and Maleficient: Mistress of Evil. Comparative flops, of course. It's clear that audiences are sick of some stories, like ANOTHER X-Men and ANOTHER Men in Black and ANOTHER Terminator. Yeah, remember all those came out?

It's time to rank the original movies at the box office. Us is still in the Top 10 and there's totally not a movie coming out Friday that will knock them out... Next up is Hustlers at #25, then Ford v. Ferrari, Good Boys, and Knives Out, getting down to #34 at that point, still over $75 million. That's not entirely terrible, but far from a great sign.

In 2020 we have no Avengers, Star Wars, or Jurassic Park movie. We have one Disney remake, Mulan, a Godzilla movie that will probably do no money, a ninth Fast and Furious film that I'm actually predicting is over (no trailer yet?), a Ghostbusters movie that maybe won't suck? AKA Stranger Things: The Movie. DC is sure trying to have a big year. I've talked about WW84 and they have Birds of Prey as well. Marvel really only has Black Widow. Sure, The Eternals, but what the hell even is that, guys? There is a new Bond movie, and supposedly Daniel Craig's last, but Bond has been retiring for longer now than between Casino Royale (2006) and Skyfall (2012). Sure.

What did you like about 2019? Looking forward to anything next year?

2019 FINISHED! Movie Scene of the Year

Normally when we run through the year there are a collection of great scenes, both in terrible and great movies. This year was different, though. When it happened I knew instantly that it was the scene of the year, nay, let's call it the scene of ALL years. I haven't found a good cut of everything I want in one video, so here is a bunch, but in 2019 this was everything:







This still chokes me up. There is a lot to unpack and an uncanny amount of earned pay-off here, both helped and hindered by this pay-off not being limited to one movie, but a literal decade of films. It requires a decent amount of knowledge to really understand, but well, I have that knowledge so it tugs at my heart pretty hard.

In Avengers: Infinity War (2018), both Iron Man and Thor get their asses kicked by Thanos. So does Captain America, but it's very brief. He doesn't have the emotional stakes the other two characters have. During their bout here there is a little hesitation with the other two. They know how powerful this dude is. It's great that they gave Cap a chance to shine. That moment when Mjolner flies into Cap's hands was the loudest I have ever heard a theater in my life.

It's full of little moments, too. First, there was always that inkling that Cap was worthy when he nudged the hammer just a little in Age of Ultron (2015). In that same movie, Cap bounces the hammer off his shield to create a soundwave, which he repeats here. This is the second team-up move after Thor lights up Tony's suit with lightning like in The Avengers (2012). These little things show that this team has been fighting alongside each other for a long time and have gotten to know what works.

Cap is just such an earnest figure that this moment feels so deserving. It's a classic, "Of course this is how it should happen" moment, but not one that an audience member would ever believe they'd actually do. Endgame (2019) is such a bonkers movie - it feels like they are headed for a showdown with Thanos early, but then they dispatch him with relatively little effort. It's an amazing ploy, then, that they're able to have their cake and eat it too with the introduction of this feisty younger Thanos.

Throughout the fight we're always wondering what will stop him. Will Thor or Tony get some redemption? Will Captain Marvel fly in and kick ass? Will Ant-Man go inside Thanos' nostrils and expand to giant size, exploding his head? Cap with Mjolner seems like the answer for a while. He gets some good licks in, which we've never really seen Thanos take before (save the axe to the chest from Infinity War, but that's overshadowed because he still wins with the Snap). It's an amazing moment.

But the film isn't content with that. Thanos overpowers the powered up Cap. He busts his unbreakable shield (there is a pretty incredible bit of acting when he does this, just disbelief, and fear, but still resolve). Thanos summons and army and Cap straps in. It's a stunning moment that wisely knows it has more gravitas than the oft-repeated "I could do this all day" line, but that sentiment is there. You know that Cap would stand and fight against that entire army alone. It's downright inspiring.

Then we get another great moment, though. Portals open up, they again call back to The Winter Soldier (2014) with an "On your left" and every character ever (except Daredevil, dammit) appears. There is a reason why Cap is the centerpoint. It's him standing alone. But film-wise it works because one moment leads into the other and it sells itself. It's earned. It's fantastic.

"Avengers...assemble."

I love that M'Baku and Korg get prime spots as everyone charges into battle. It shows a lot of how random mashing up a lot of these worlds are. I actually just re-watched the entire battle here, which you should also do. There is a ridiculous amount of little lines and moments that connect the franchise. Spider-Man's insta-kill. The Wasp slyly referring to Steve Rogers as "Cap" to Paul Rudd after she made fun of him in Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018). Weird Guardians banter. Funny Valkyrie banter. La Cucaracha. It's as if dumb Ant-Man movies are infiltrating the Avengers movies. Black Panther calls Hawkeye "Clint" after this scene in Civil War (2016). It's actually a little ridiculous.

Most importantly, though, the images I've had in my head literally since the 80s of insane stupid comic superheros mashing up against each other on a big screen comes to life more than I could have ever dreamed. It hit an emotional core I didn't know I had, and clearly affected quite a few other people. This scene entered pop culture in a way that no other scene this year, or in many years has.

It's been the subject of memes, full-on parody, a surprisingly thoughtful musical analysis, and other fun recreations. We're at the point where everyone knows the rhythm of that Cap vs Thanos fight. The Stormbreaker snatch and press into Thor's chest. The Mjolner save and catch. The running spinning smack, the lightning, the hammer shield toss. It's so damn satisfying.

I have a feeling that we'll be returning to this scene quite often. It's the best in any action film of recent memory. Importantly, though, it's because it's steeped in character, stakes, goals, set-up and pay-off. Marvel has its faults for sure, and I won't rank Endgame as one of my best films of the year, because it literally isn't even a movie. It's just a sprawling nightmare. However, this scene is downright amazing and I think folks who tote Marvel as the Death of Cinema ignore how well they can pull off a moment like this. It's not easy.

Oh, and the runner-up is definitely when Captain Wack swims with dolphins who definitely aren't dolphins in The Beach Bum. I cannot find a clip, but here's the next best thing:



What did you think? What is your vote this year?