SUMMER JAM 2016: THE CROWNLESS AGAIN IS KING!!!!

We've finally wrapped up another Season of Summer Jams and it's with a heavy lopsided heart that we bury our hope and love for another long Winter. We've been tracking Summer Jams in general since 2007, and pretty in-depth (that is - week by week since 2010). In that time through a tricky combination of radio play, Billboard success, and general "what-I-feel-like-talking-about-ness" I've recounted the hottest of the hottest jams each week. Before we dig into the greatest jams this summer, let's again recount previous winners:

2007: "Umbrella" by Rihanna
2008: "Bleeding in Love" by Leona Lewis
2009: "I Gotta Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas
2010: "California Gurls" by Katy Perry
2011: "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock
2012: "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen
2013: "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke ft. T.I. and Pharrell
2014: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea ft. Charlie XCX
2015: "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon

These tracks aren't without controversy. "Blurred Lines" is a pretty awful mar and I'd rather remember 2013 for "Get Lucky." 2014 will always be a debate between Iggy's "Fancy" or "Problem" with Ariana Grande. Finally, last year Walk the Moon really nabbed the title but felt so much more like a Spring Song. It was kind of an April to July thing, and I still feel like Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood" as more indicative of the season and zeitgeist. It'll make you happy to hear that we're really not without controversy this year, either. First, let's talk all the songs we tracked this year:

At some point or another we discussed 47 different songs, which is actually somehow ten less than last year. We can break this up into many different tiers, but there's only a few worth talking about. Let's start with Jams 18-9:

"Bored to Death" by Blink 182
"All in My Head" by Fifth Harmony
"Dangerous Woman" by Ariana Grande
"Cold Water" by Major Lazer ft. Justin Bieber, MO
"Closer" by The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey
"Love Yourself" by Justin Bieber
"Don't Mind" by Kent Jones
"Work From Home" by Fifth Harmony
"Make Me..." by Britney Spears ft. G-Eazy
"7 Years" by Lukas Graham

So let's now jump into the REAL list - the TOP EIGHT FINAL SUMMER JAMS!!!

#8: "Don't Let Me Down" by The Chainsmokers ft. Daya



Weeks on the List: 4
Peak: #2 on 06/20

This track never really went away, appearing during Week 1 and Week 14, with some spots in between. While it was ubiquitous, it wasn't really that good or interesting of a song, and seemed largely relegated to background noise rather than something to really get pumped up about. Still, it broke through once each in May, June, July, and August, which is a damn impressive feat.

#7: "Ophelia" by The Lumineers



Weeks on the List: 5
Peak: #1 on 05/30

A sane person probably wouldn't have touted this track so loudly, but for some reason I just kept hearing it, and I still dig the tune quite a bit, so it wormed itself in my life this summer. I can only assume it did the same for you, loyal reader. It had a nice streak of three weeks in a row very early on, then fell off for a bit before returning in the middle of July. The track was catchy as hell and one reason why it kept crawling back is because it's the kind of jam you hum all day, even if it didn't really blow up in any sort of big pop-y way.

#6: "This is What You Came For" by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna



Weeks on the List: 5
Peak: #1 on 08/22

This should have really been the Summer of Rihanna (a whopping nine years after she already won with "Umbrella"), but despite dropping three different singles that we tracked, nothing seemed to be that sticky. Still, this cookie cutter Calvin Harris track proved to be an outlet for her voice, even if it's more innocuous and expected than her work off of ANTI, which is admittedly and decidedly non-commercial anyway. This was sort of like a partner to "Don't Let Me Down" in the sense that it was just another random EDM hit without much to set it apart that just always felt in the background this summer. It did some damage in July, fell off, then came back in a big way near the end of August.

#5: "Panda" by Desiigner



Weeks on the List: 5
Peak: #1 on 06/13

For a while there it looked like "Panda" would be THE song to beat ,but after a very strong five consecutive weeks in May and June it fell off a bit. It's still a pretty fun song, and although it may not have become the "Trap Queen" I can bet Desiigner wanted it to be, it's still got a little legacy going for it. There were many other weeks I just barely left it off the List, but we obviously needed room for "Dance Off" and "Milk $."

#4: "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)" by Adele



Weeks on List: 6
Peak: #1 on 08/08

This is possibly an odd bedfellow to pair with "Panda" but they actually had the exact same score this Summer when all was tallied up and done. Its best streak was only three weeks in a row, but it ascended each week when it shot to #1 in early August. It made other appearances from June to mid-August, and although it didn't quite match up with some of Adele's other efforts, namely 2011's "Rolling in the Deep" that earned a strong #2 overall, or last Autumn's "Hello" which dominated about everything, this ended up a somewhat unlikely contender that got lost in the shuffle more than over the hump.

#3: "One Dance" by Drake ft. WizKid, Kyla



Weeks on List: 8
Peak: #1 on 06/20, 07/04 - 07/11

Seven consecutive weeks on the List was the longest streak of any song this Summer and for much of the first half appeared to be dueling hard with or eventual winner. While it ruled July, though, it fell off by the mid-point and couldn't ever really recover, despite being close a few times. It ultimately just broke a little too early. I'm also curious why it was such a short song, never really had a music video that caught on, and had such a good verse out of Kyla without much from Drake. Kind of like Adele, he crushed the Fall with "Hotline Bling" and this just never hit that same culture-ruling hot point.

#2: "Cheap Thrills" by Sia ft. Sean Paul



Weeks on List: 9
Peak: #1 on 07/25 - 08/01, 09/05

"Cheap Thrills" broke late, not appearing until seven weeks into Summer, but after that appeared on nine out of the remaining eleven weeks, not really even slowing down for Labor Day. It's my pick for personal favourite summer song and I'll freely ooze bias to say that I wish it had clinched victory. This will be like "Bad Blood" was last year - just a song that's way more indicative of 2016 than the actual winner and one that I'll give a spiritual victory for years and years from now.

#1: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake



Weeks on List: 9
Peak: #1 on 06/06, 06/27, and 07/18

Listen, I'm glad JT finally has a Summer Jam under his belt and he's really the first established artist to win since Katy Perry in 2010. Still, among JT songs, where does this rank? Like, can you even call it Top 10? After all the points were tallied, it edged "Cheap Thrills" by two points, which isn't all that significant, but a win's a win. It certainly peaked while dueling "One Dance" in the first half of the Season, but unlike Drake, JT never really went away, appearing nine times over a thirteen-week period, all the way until late August. I knew it had won sometime in mid-July when it was still crushing weeks after Drake dropped out, but no part of me feels particularly great about that, especially considering how likely Trolls (2016) is going to bomb. I mean, do you honestly really think of "Can't Stop the Feeling" when you think Summer 2016? I struggled to remember the title even today. After this and Walk the Moon I may have to reevaluate my shoddy haphazard counting method. Maybe.

So that's it for Summer 2016! What do you think? Which jams did we snub? "Dark Necessities"? "Ride"? "Heathens"? "Pill in Ibiza"? Let us know below!

Summer Jam 2016 Week 17: That's All She Wrote!

It's always with a heavy heart that we crank out the final installment of the Summer Jam Countdown - another Labour Day is upon us, folks and it's time to end this ridiculous exercise in pop-stravagance. Before we anoint our Summer Champion, though, we have one more week to get through:

Hot Jam of the Week: "No Money" by Galantis



This has been around or a bit but is still a super-likable pop jam that carries us out of the Summer Season. Galantis is a bomb name and that creepy cat/flower/Cloverfield monster is awesome. This jam has shades of reggae, 90s pop, and a lot of other stuff going on that's almost as if it's throwing a lot at the wall and seeing what sticks. It also echoes themes of "Cheap Thrills" by way of Santigold. In the end, I care less about that than how ear-wormy it is.

The Best in Wuss Rock: "Treat You Better" by Shawn Mendes

Is this even wuss rock? Or just shitty Sam Smith-style pop? I'm not really into this at all, but it's been on the periphery for a while before it broke in this week. This obviously isn't really in the Summer Jam conversation but could it be in the Fall Jam Conversation?! Of course not. That's not a thing.

Everbody's High: "Cold Water" by Major Lazer ft. Bieber and MO

How is Justin Bieber still a thing? I mean, he is having his best year yet in terms of producing songs that are actually pretty decent, but in general he's a terrible human being who garners for more hate than adoration. This isn't an incredibly great song, but I do dig it, and even if it didn't necessarily break into major conversation this summer, it still did a decent job.

Block is Hot: "Me Too" by Meghan Trainor

I'm not a fan of M-Train at all, but this beat is crazy hot. This is still one of the more egotistical songs ever, which is an amazing feat to do in a summer where Kanye also tried to continuously drop new material. There's a fine line between confidence and conceitedness that I don't think Trainor walks gracefully here. But like I said, that beat is hot.

Joke's on You! "Heathens" by twenty one pilots

Is it possible that this song is more popular than its film, Suicide Squad (2016)? Is it even possible to accuse Suicide Squad as being unpopular? It made a ton of money despite its terribleness. This is actually one of the cooler movie-related videos ever, right along with "Purple Lamborghini." Suicide Squad tried so hard, didn't it? It's ultimately a little late, even though Squad came out weeks ago by now.

It's Britney, Bitch! "Make Me..." by Britney Spears ft. G-Eazy

Britney's had some attempted comebacks lately, but I don't remember anything being this successful. I also really disliked this when I first heard it, but it's starting to grow on me. I do kind of wish she would have tried to go in a slightly different direction - for some reason her grinding comes off more awkward than it should, even though she's not really that old. This ended up doing some good damage, but will ultimately come up a bit short.

Kyra Sedgewick: "Closer" by The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey

This track has also really grown on me this week. It blew up out of no where and is assured to dominate all of Autumn. It's a really cute song, full of youth and zeitgeist-y hipster beats (or maybe post-hipster, at this point), and a wonderful build to its bloopy beat. I love the "I'm gonna live forever!" attitude along with the lyrics that generally don't make sense at all, but rhyme really uniquely and a flow that's impeccable.

One Last Time: "Cheap Thrills" by Sia ft. Sean Paul

I love that Sean Paul is relevant again. "Cheap Thrills" was EVERYWHERE this week, and although it had an exceptional run this summer, I think it broke just a bit too late to earn the coveted Summer Prize. Still, this is a really fly track that I loved jamming to this summer.

Next year...

Oh, who knows. Thanks for reading along this summer and we'll start this insane exercise back up in May 2017. As for now, stay tuned tomorrow as we tally up our FINAL SUMMER JAM CHAMPION!!

Summer Jam 2016 Week 16: Britney Owns the Penultimate Weekend

Can you believe it's almost time for Summer to draw to a close? It's been an amazing, wild ride. Well, it certainly happened, that's for sure. We have a few more tracks to get through as we tally up this week and then see what Labour Day has to throw at us. In the interest of getting a lot of late-breaking jams some air time we've totally ignored all songs gaining momentum and instead went with a whole ton of new Fall hotness! Here we go!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Get Right" by Jimmy Eat World



Okay, so I really just wanted to talk about this because it's the kind of song you listen to and think "That was alright. Kind of sucked." And then you hear it was Jimmy Eat World and you go "WHAAA?" How come that is so much worse than "The Middle"? I assume Jimmy Eat World has other songs, too. Probably. I have no idea what they're going for here but it's a whiff. Hot Jams! Comin' through.

Jovial: "I Got You" by Shaggy ft. Jovi Rockwell

I guess I was just in a mood for terrible new songs from big one-hit wonders from the early 2000s this week. Sure, maybe Shaggy has "Mr. Bombastic" and "Angel" to his name, too. Three-hit wonder? But listen to this song. How does Shaggy have a career? He's the kind of patois mumbling. Somehow he turned this into a living. Well, sort of. I mean, when was the last time Shaggy was relevant? Spoiler, he still won't be after this week.

Amazing Amy: "Cool Girl" by Tove Lo

The latest by Tone Loc, or Tove Lo or whatever is somewhat less pop-y than her other Summer Jams, but this is still an engrossing track. I wonder if this could have done some damage had it been released a few months ago and shat all over a decently shatty summer, but I'm glad to get it now. It feels almost a bit more mature, although the beat is kind of blippier than her other work. It's not totally blown up, but I'm curious about its Fall potential.

Two Versions: "Nikes" by Frank Ocean

Channel Orange is still one of my favourite albums ever, and Frank Ocean's underhyped follow-up, Blonde (or is it Blond) exists in a simultaneous state of uncertainty, which is actually an astounding feat. I say underhyped, although it was still actually the third-highest release of 2016, although it seems like people aren't talking about it enough or at least in more niche areas. This is an astounding track and video, though, and although its commercial appeal seems limited (or maybe not, he just sold a shitload of albums, what do I know) and the album seems more experimental than Orange. That's probably not a bad thing, but it hasn't hooked me like his earlier work yet.

One Last (Probably) Time: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake

I was still getting traces of this song, including one double-play on two radio stations at the same time. I would almost guarantee this is more a product of my backwards country radio joints being far behind the pop times, but that's still a good picture of most of the country still jamming to this. It's almost a virtual lock for Summer Jam King, although "Cheap Thrills" might pull the upset.

Speaking of Which: "Cheap Thrills" by Sia

What more can I say? It's faded quite a bit from its apex, but it's still so good at sticking in my brain, seven plus months after I first started shooting up This is Acting like a sick junkie. Even though I gave a lot to JT this summer, that 495 million YouTube views should probably count for something. Could my ironclad method of randomly ranking songs I heard on the radio the most each week be flawed? I'll figure this out next week.

Come a Little: "Closer" by The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey

Halsey has a lot of talent and potential among the young people, so for that she gets the nod here. This is like, the ultimate pop song without much else going for it, but that's why it works so well. I do like the hook even if the rest of it is pretty much garbage. But it's the #1 jam right now. Also that kazoo or recorder breakdown or whatever is sublime, actually.

Can You Believe It? "Make Me..." by Britney Spears ft. G-Eazy

Britney has suddenly had a decent week. There's a bit of upsurge with her lately, maybe tied into our sudden love of 90s culture (which I still think will bleed into Early 2000s culture pretty soon, and Early 2000s was when Britney was EVERYTHING). She had this highly touted VMA performance (even though Rihanna sand like, her entire Anti album across three performances). She was also...servicable in her Carpool Karaoke with the gayest straight man on earth, James Corden. I mean, she just never seems into it. Britney's gotten to the point that since she's such an immortal it's tough to get her to do weird human shit. She doesn't loosen up like Adele. But for this week, she's at the top.

Next week...

We won't really stoop to covering the VMAs because they haven't really been interesting since MTV stopped being interesting in general, but for Kanye to make the numbskull move of actually getting on stage and explaining "Famous" for six minutes is totally insane. And to be sure, I've written this piece on his genius. Actually that was like six years ago, that's also probably outdated. Anyway, we got one more week, folks, stay tuned to see who makes the final push!

Summer Jam 2016 Week 15: Love in the Air

Like or not you little monsters Summer is winding down. We're at the fringes of Hot Jams at this point, and while there's some strong cases to be made out of a lot of early front runners, all these late-breaking studs are certainly getting thorny. This week is all about love, baby, so sink your toes in and let it drip up your leg:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Welcome to Your Life" by Grouplove



I love a little Grouplove, who drops a really chill yet engaging jam once every few years. "Tongue Tied" did some nice damage a few years back, and while this track isn't nearly as catchy as that one or their other smash, "Ways to Go", it does its job. It actually seems to start off stronger than it climaxes, which is a little disappointing, but it's a fun casual track for right now.

Second Hot Jam of the Week: "Real Love Baby" by Father John Misty

I couldn't really decide which Hot Jam to slather up with, but here's the latest by the indie pop-folk-rock master Father John Misty. I'm a big fan of his ironic detached folk view of America, and while this jam floats more than some of his more stagnant work, it's nonetheless poignant. Can this really make a case to be a mainstream Summer Jam? What do you want to hear from me? No.

How Low Can You Go? "Cheap Thrills" by Sia

It's got a good beat and you can dance to it! Yes, we've covered this before. "Cheap Thrills" is still out there and although it's #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, its presence isn't nearly as cuttingly fresh as it was a few weeks ago. It's still a really hard track to get sick of, though. I'd be curious if it can parlay its hanging around into a legit run at the Throne. That'd be one spectacular feat.

Down the Well: "Send My Love" by Adele

This is a lot like "Cheap Thrills" - it's novelty has washed away but it's definitely still hanging around and worth talking about. I don't even know what kind of song this is, actually. It's not really a dance song. Well, I suppose you could awkwardly gyrate around, but this ain't really a clubthumper. It's not even really a headphones workout song or a casual party background song. It's really just pure Adele, which is awesome in itself. Same as "Cheap Thrills" again, this jam as proven itself to be a force to be reckoned with and could rack up some serious late summer points.

A Little More Action: "Into You" by Ariana Grande

I can't really figure out Ariana Grande. I'm generally a fan, but she's also so damn awkward. She also doesn't really distinguish her voice above mindless generic pop. Maybe that's why she's reasonably successful - she's become our pop default. At the same time, she's got a ridiculous vocal range and some genuine acting skills, neither of which she tends to display. Whatever. This track is alright and I dig its sexiness when it starts ramping up before it descends into cliché.

It's Britney Bitch: "Make Me..." by Britney Spears ft. G-Eazy

I don't know if we'll ever remember this track as one of Britney's great tracks, but it's certainly made more of an effort to be one than anything else she's put out in years. At least since "Scream and Shout." I've kind of gotten more into this since it dropped last month without a real amount of goodwill or appeal. I think it can surge if it wants to, although I'm still fascinated by Britney's now reliance on that third-verse rap that's more common with peon wannabes than what the Diva used to throw down. Still, G-Eazy's a good choice. You know, when I was covering "I Mean It" years ago I never thought he'd be relevant on Britney songs.

Run the Tap: "Cold Water" by Major Lazer ft. Justin Bieber & MO

Major Lazer is a bit too good of a DJ (read: Diplo, I suppose) to make a beat this generic for the Biebs, but this track seems to be climbing after treading water for weeks after its debut. It's definitely not that great for a Major Lazer track, and even kind of sucks for what Bieber's been dropping lately, but it's here. If it can maintain a high position suddenly it's in the Summer Jam conversation, although that's more how weak these months have been.

Again?! "This Is What You Came For" by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna

For the second week in a row Calvin Harris and Rihanna are near the top of the List, although this time only one of her jams has made it. It's kind of an unlikely rise, as if she just patiently waited for every other terrible Justin Timberlake song to burn out and then struck when our ears were weak. It's been climbing some charts as well, which is odd, to say the least. I'm not one to believe that its position is sustainable, but for now suddenly it's making its case.

Next week...

I narrowly left the Suicide Squad (2016) anthem "Heathens" off this list, and it's always a possibility it returns. Other than that, honestly "One Dance" and "Can't Fight the Feeling" (or is it "Can't Stop the Feeling"? I still can't remember) are still hanging around and could pop back in next week if the slate is week. We've only got two more weeks, people! Who will be named the King or Queen of Summer 2016?! Keep reading to find out!

Summer Jam 2016 Week 13: Heathen Squad Rolls in Late

So we're a day late. We're bad guys. Stuff comes up. I know you're all waiting patiently for the hottest jams to drop each week, so apologies all around for that. But for real, let's get down to the gritty shit of the jam as we close out the first week of August and rally towards the Final Month of Summer!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Heathens" by twenty one pilots



Twenty one pilots seem to have a single dropping every other week this summer and after "Ride" and "Stressed Out" have become the Imagine Dragons of the modern day with a nice blend of punk pop rock to assault our ears. This track to Suicide Squad (2016) dropped a bit ago, but we pretty much ignored it. Even though the flick got a critical drumming, everyone everywhere went to see it, and the jam is pretty unique and haunting, even if it took me a second to recall what that weird "friends are heathens" song was I kept hearing this week. I bet this could bounce around for the next week or so.

Twice a Day: "Toothbrush" by DNCE

Speaking of pop rock...or maybe this is just pop? DNCE follows up "Cake by the Ocean" with this harmless track about shacking up and moving to that relationship stage where you leave a toothbrush at your lover's domicile. They really remind me of like a 2016-version of Vampire Weekend, except without any of the talent. Don't get me wrong, "Cake by the Ocean" is exceptional, but this is kind of whatever.

Rihanna At it Again: "Sex With Me" by Rihanna

Ah, Track 16 off ANTI, the clincher bonus jam to close out RiRi's fantasmic album. Rihanna's the only artist who has dropped more singles than twenty one pilots this summer, and although none has really caught on, none are as pop-y as "Work," which is kind of the whole point of ANTI. Still, I heard this jam quite a bit this week, and it could gain some steam these last few weeks. It does have an actual hook and thumping hypnotic beat that makes it damned interesting, if not necessarily radio-friendly.

Be Wary: "Dangerous Woman" by Ariana Grande

This is another track that's just sort of hung around for a while and although it's no where near 2014's "Problems," it's a true show that Ariana has got some talent. I don't really think this is the kind of song we're going to have nostaligic callbacks for come 2019, but it does a nice job for now swaying between sultry verses and a rising bridge that crescendos to a really epic chorus.

Cheap Date: "Cheap Thrills" by Sia

This is still my favourite song on the Winner's List, although it wasn't quite as ubiquitous as it once was all those last week ago. It's still made a nice run and any jam that can rule the #1 spot for a bit while also being #1 in my heart has proven itself relevant to the Summer Throne conversation.

Time to Have Sex! "All In My Head (Flex)" by Fifth Harmony ft. Fetty Wap

Fetty's incoherent rap-ramblings have really put this jam over "Work" in my book, as has the bizarre and quasi-non-sexual but also totally sexual lyrics. I like the idea of flexing, impressing, and then getting your hump on, but it's all in their head or something? It's vague enough to invite a lot of airplay while subliminally appealing to our sex-addled brain boxes. The island beat makes it perfect for summer.

She Tellin' Me That: "Don't Mind" by Kent Jones

Once your jam is lip synced by Jimmy Fallon, you know you've made it. This is a huge rise for Kent Jones who has risen from no where-land to this, the highest of peaks. Well, the second highest. It was a close call this week, but it's not totally the Hottest Jam in the Land. Somehow spitting out a ton of different languages and geographic shout-outs still works. This is MIMS all over again.

Down the Well: "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)" by Adele

Adele finally takes over this week as her track has started to gain some significant momentum. I wouldn't call her the end-all of all Summer Digs right now, but it's worth it. The video is hot, the track is hot, and there's no doubt her impressive star and pipes power. I'd call her position pretty tenuous, though, and especially after leaving off the former two dueling powerhouses, JT and Drake this week, if Adele makes a late season run, the game is hers.

Next week...

I've been snubbing the Chainsmokers and Calvin Harris for like four straight weeks. Is it time to just admit they don't really have a shot here, despite being perennial 9 and 10s? I'm into a bit of new Avett Brothers and with the Summer O's in full swing, Katy's "Rise" is starting to creep everywhere. Keep an ear out!

Summer Jam 2016 Week 12: Bieber's Back and More Stuff Happens

Ah, the Dawn of August is upon us. We've only got one month left of this glorious exercise in discerning the Top Jams of the Season and things are really getting nuts now. We're in the thick of it now, with a flurry of hot tracks mounting an assault on our ears and bods. Who earns a title this week? Read on, loyal viewers.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Into You" by Ariana Grande



Alright, so this track has been around for a while but it really seemed to worm its way into my earballs this week. I actually had no idea this was Ariana, but it's a great evolution from "Dangerous Woman" with a really sultry rhythm and pretty fun atmosphere. It's definitely been around for a bit, and although it could certainly catch on, we're well past the proper launch time for proper threats to the Summer Throne. Then again, we almost always see some kind of late-rising jam.

Kaleo's Ristorante: "Way Down We Go" by Kaleo

Kaleo has quietly been having a great summer, with some thumping rock hits that are really fun, while also exhibiting a sort of melancholy. They're pretty great background jamming songs as well as something nice to absorb on your own. Again, it's a bit late for this to take off, and Kaleo's not quite on the pop spectrum like Maroon 5 or Imagine Dragons in Summers past.

The Boobs: "All In My Head (Flex)" by Fifth Harmony ft. Fetty Wap

I thought about slotting in "Work From Home" this week, which also seemed popular, but I wanted an excuse to talk about this ridiculous song and video. It's so obsessed with male gaze for reasons that totally escape me - why do they want to attract male viewers? Why do they even care? I suppose that's been infecting pop hits for years now, but who knows why. It all feels really exploited and ridiculous. The song's actually pretty catchy if not explicitly sexual for no real reason.

Hola Como Estas: "Don't Mind" by Kent Jones

This really follows in a long line of one-hit pop patois songs you can follow from Shaggy to Sean Paul to Sean Kingston to MAGIC! Kent Jones isn't necessarily as explicit as those guys, but it's still there. This is still a cute song, though, and has managed to stick around a bit. A late season run at things is certainly possible, but it's been middling in the mid-section of the Winner's List here. It'll really need to break out soon to do some damage.

Fucking Trolls: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake

I about guarantee that this song scores way bigger than JT's Trolls (2016). That movie looks rough as hell. Although I do kind of like the abstract fuzziness. Anyway, there's about no reason why this can't be considered the King of Summer at this point, which feels kind of like a letdown because it's just not that great of a song. Maybe Sia can mount a campaign in August to take it over?

The Biebs: "Love Yourself" by Justin Bieber

I was pretty sure that "Love Yourself" was done, but I weirdly heard it a ton this week. Like, constantly. It's still probably my favourite Bieber song ever (that's not that hard to achieve), but I legit love the restrained melody, the biting satire of a jilted yet apathetic lover, and the simplicity of the whole ordeal. This mantra of simplicity carries through all the way to the music video, which I wish was a little bit more thematically relevant, but is interesting enough.

Down the Well: "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)" by Adele

Sending your love down the well! This track grows on me the more I hear it, and after a bit of a back-and-forth start, it's now firmly cemented in the Summer Pop Jam consciousness. It's got that similar cheery break-up feel that "Love Yourself" does, and it's all about moving on and not getting hung up on stupid emotional shit. Like a lot of these late summer breakers, it's got a shot if it can keep rolling the next six weeks, but we'll see how it works out.

How Low: "Cheap Thrills" by Sia

It's got a good beat and you can dance to it! For the second week in a row Sia commands a spot at the top of the List, and for once I actually agree with the Billboard Hot 100, who also awarded her the #1 spot. This is probably the one thing that can now threaten JT (although he'd have to drop off the List entirely and stop earning any points for that to make a real difference), but Sia's now in peak hotness. I couldn't be happier, and for once my interests totally agree with America - six months in, I still can't get enough "Cheap Thrills."

Next week...

Chainsmokers and Calvin Harris have always been hanging out here, but I'm over both those jams. "Panda" has still also been on the periphery, as has "One Dance," but they haven't yet forced me to stop ignoring them like Justin Timberlake. I'm most curious about that Britney / G-Eazy collabo, which is probably good enough to do some damage here in August. Stay tuned, folks!

Summer Jam 2016 Week 11: All New Hotness Edition

Amazingly, we're ten weeks deep into summer and baby, we're just starting to heat up! Well, that is, we're sustaining a crazy hot drought streak. Pour draughts not droughts! But for real folks, it's time to get real spicey with it and drop a ton of new jams that ought to become throne-worthy in the latter half of the Season of Sunshine. Maybe.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Purple Lamborghini" by Skrillex & Rick Ross



There are a few songs being dropped for Suicide Squad (2016), but all of them blow except for this. I dig the brief audio and teaser we've gotten which totally absorbs the Suicide Squad look, which is also so frank and violently distinct from anything else DC has done (or really any superhero film for that matter). It's amazing that Warner Bros pushed this out before Wonder Woman (2017), but who are we to complain? We ought to keep on the song - it sounds exactly like every other Rick Ross song ever, but that's not such a bad thing. It's great just to hear movie-inspired tracks get traction again.

Gorilla Bash: "Take It From Me" by KONGOS

I constantly ponder whether or not KONGOS are a good band. They're definitely listenable. Maybe that's enough. This is a little old, but as is the case with many slow-rollout rock jams, it's only gained a lot of popular notoriety in the last week or so. It's a cool song, if not a little indistinguishable. There's a lot of weird folk in the thumping rock and deep-altered voices here. I don't see it taking off, but it's cool for now.

The II's Have It: "Tiimmy Turner" by Desiigner

Iis thiis Desiigner's thiing now? Also this refers to this Timmy Turner, right? That's terrible. I love that current Google Image search for "Timmy Turner" returns a ton of cartoons and rappers. And should this be pronounced "Timmy" or "Timey"? Wouldn't the i's together be long instead of short? This is all so damn white, but the highly anticipated follow-up to "Panda" certainly disappoints. I do like how Desiigner apparently is a fan of indiscriminate background yelling and growling in his beats along with really weird title choices.

Back with the Biebs: "Cold Water" by Major Lazer ft Justin Biever and MO

I don't know what MO is. But this is a nice assault by Major Lazer who for some reason has taken this long to pair with the baby brat. I do like any song that acknowledges that there's nothing wrong with getting high, and while this is no "Lean On" or hell, even a "Love Yourself", it'll do the job in putting some young girls in the mood. Hrmm. I'll just leave that there while I'm behind.

Back with Adele: "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)" by Adele

I heard this earlier today. So there. That's what it takes to get on this extremely exclusive and erudite list. I did want to talk about how trippy and magical this video is again, though, and it's actually a better song the more you listen to it. It's still far away from the ubiquity of "Hello" but it's not really a worse track. It's actually lyrically dripping in irony, angst, and cheekiness in equal measure. Did you know that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age? Don't piss them off, boys.

Tick-Tock: "Lost Boy" by Ruth B

This song has been on the periphery for a while, dipping in and out this summer, but for some reason I really clued into it this week. It's all about fucking Rufio, as is my understanding, which is weird, because Rufio always bangs on the floor-io. That's right. This is a great, contemplative song that fills you with all the sads. It's spectacular. Summer!

Back with the Other Justin: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by JT

It was looking for a while there like "Can't Stop the Feeling", which is so notable because I have to look up the song title every damn time, was going to be THE Summer Jam Champion, but it's been upset this week. It's still got a very good chance at pulling it off, although I did straight-up ignore it the first few weeks of Summer. Still, it's put in its work these past couple weeks. But JT settles for a Bono this week - #2 forever!

Sia Korrento: "Cheap Thrills" by Sia

That's right! Sia gets the number one spot this week and I'm pumped. This jam is crawling up there and ready to decimate all those who lay before it! In a sea of cookie cutter jams this is one that really stands out. Its YouTube views slaughter "Can't Stop the Feeling" and it disguises this false club-thumping ideology behind a sultry sassy vocal performance by the vastly underrated woman without a face. I'm down all day.

Next week...

I might add Katy Perry's horrible Rio song one of these weeks for the Olympics. Maybe. It's just so awful. I couldn't get through it. Other than that, the usual rabble of Ariana, Daya, Calvin Harris, and Fifth Harmony are always hanging around. I heard "One Dance" exactly once this week and it might be dead. Then again, "Worth It."

Summer Jam 2016 Week 10: Britney, JT, and Blink WHAT YEAR IS IT

Better late than tomorrow! We're in the deep thick of it now - at the point where all the contenders have lined up pretty solidly. It was a whirlwind week and as we plunge into the hottest depths of the Summer Thrillride, there's a slew of new jams working their way around our earballs. Let's listen in:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Make Me..." by Britney Spears ft. G-Eazy



When was the last time you were pumped up for a Britney song? I feel the same way about this as I did about Madonna's "Bitch I'm Madonna" last year. It's like these mega-queens are trying real hard to emulate current pop rather than innovate in the genre they used to own. This isn't a great tune, but among the other drops this week - like Katy Perry's shitty Olympics song, it rises pretty high.

Ellie! The River! "River" by Bishop

This has been floating around my ears for a while and finally deserved a spot this week. It kind of gives me a Delta Rae "Bottom of the River" vibe, even if it doesn't hit the lofty hits of that track. That's still a good thing. I really dig the pounding heart of this jam, the passion-infused vocals, and its cautious genre straddling between club-thumping pop and forceful rock. I'd like to see it last awhile but who knows.

She Said Konichiwa: "Don't Mind" by Kent Jones

This has also been jazzing around a while, but I've never felt it's been quite hot enough to earn a spot here until this week. It's a really fun track that reminds me of a "Cheerleader" by OMI or Jason Derulo's "Talk Dirty" or something similar from past summers. This is totally a more positive song than either of those, though. It's got a shot for sure to do some damage now that it's rolling with some momentum.

Back Again: "Ophelia" by The Lumineers

"Ophelia" returned this week after a long general period of not caring about its existence, but by this point I know all the lyrics and got kind of pumped for it to come on the radio. It seemed to pop up pretty often for whatever likely random reason, but I like the little dent it's suddenly making this summer.

What's My Age Again? "Bored to Death" by Blink 182

I'm really curious where my favourite middle school band goes from here, and while their sound somehow doesn't feel as mature as it did towards the end of their first run, this is still serviceable. I feel like Blink was one of those bands that everyone liked, shamefully or not. They were at the forefront of the pop-punk revolution, baby! That was really when pop-punk was more punk than pop, which is why they always worked. I just liked butt jokes.

I'm In Love for the First Time: "Don't Let Me Down" by the Chainsmokers ft. Daya

I can't believe I search "Don't Let Me Down" on YouTube and the Beatles are the fifth video. Fifth! What the hell? That's a sin greater than "#SELFIE". I was debating a lot between a handful of songs that all sound alike or even going in a completely different direction and throwing in a track I actually like, but I think these guys actually deserve it this week, and when we're coming down to Summer Jam Final Tally Counts, that's big shit, brother!

Better than Expensive Boredom: "Cheap Thrills" by Sia

I do really love this song, this video, and Sia in general. She's spectacular. This song was all over the place this week, and affter listening to Rihanna's Anti a total of four times in the car driving around this weekend I'm actually more and more convinced it didn't really have a place on that album. This is crazy because it's wrecking Rihanna's more sentimental but less pop-friendly jams like "Kiss it Better," "Love on the Brain," and "Needed Me", even if the latter is finally getting some traction. But still, this is a great track and I wish it all the luck.

Saw It Coming: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by JT

So, for better or worse the fact that JT dominated this week and I actually pushed Drake out could very well seal the deal in what's been a tight race so far this summer. I didn't even want to include this guy again because I'm not a huge fan of the song, which feels like he's sleepwalking through, but let's face it, this was everywhere this week. It's maddening. It's got a totally legit shot at Summer Jam Kingship, but I'm still holding out for something better!

Next week...

I left off a ton. Katy's stupid Olympic song, Adele, Drake, Ariana, Calvin Harris, and twenty one pilots to name a few. I also thought that "Panda" should have made a slight comeback this week, but I ultimately decided against it. All these artists are totally deserving, but whatever. Fuck 'em. I actually heard quite a bit of "Lost Boy" by Ruth B again, but she got boxed out. Damn. I should re-do this list. Or just see who lasts until next week! Stay tuned, kids!

Summer Jam 2016 Week 9: Meet Me, Justin, and Drake Halfway to the Wonder

Damn straight. We're sitting smack dab at the Summer's midpoint, and it's been a pretty damn wild ride. Well, musically it's been a little sub-par to be frank. I haven't really jizzed my pants over any of these tracks and what's looking to take over is totally indistinctive pop jibberish. Summer, babyyy!!! Let's dig in:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Madness" by Lucius



This dropped a while ago, but as a tiny-ass indie track is only catching on now with their album Good Grief released a few months ago. This is a really cool jam, a bit of a slow burn that unwinds more and more to show its true colors. I don't think it has any serious shot at a Summer Throne run, but it's a rad song to wake up to this week.


Beach Boobs: "All In My Head" by Fifth Harmony ft. Fetty Wap

I sincerely love that Fetty's first big song since his breakthrough last summer is this track. Fifth Harmony rules, you know it, we all know it. They're a supremely insane group, who makes these decently catchy songs that are also the most lyrically unsophisticated you'll ever hear. It's so damn manufactured, to the point of parody. They're also all real super hot and real super young. Have fun!

Sending Our Love Down the Well: "Send My Love" by Adele

You really should never break-up with Adele. Or Taylor Swift. Or anyone who writes songs for a living. I always finish the hook "down the well" obviously. This video really freaks me out, too. I do find myself really enjoying sassy finger-snapping Adele. This song has been kind of up and down, but I was feeling a surge this week.

Is It? "This Is What You Came For" by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna

I'm curious if Rihanna's Star Trek Beyond (2016) will take off in anticipation of that film's release, but it's also really bad, so I'm not sure. Still, we have this, which is also pretty awful. I'm sort of surprised that Rihanna is in this video so much, because it really feels like such a phoned-in job, but Rihanna's also the kind of artist that goes hardcore dedicated in all her collabos, no matter how goofy they might be. Anti showed a lot of her potential, and this ends up being sort of disappointing, but whatever. It's sort of listenable.

Installation 04: "Ophelia" by The Lumineers

I feel like we kind of forgot about this track for a bit there, but it's back, baby! Or at least people seemed to be talking about it and listening to it again. It's good to remember how chill, yet driven this jam is and most things about it just work. I think it's a little bit stale to be a serious contender at this point, but in absence of anything else cool, it works.

Starring Ted Danson: "Bored to Death" by Blink 182

These descriptions are getting more and more esoteric. That's just the way we like it! It is decently weird to be listening to Blink and playing Pokémon to really feel like I'm in Seventh Grade again. That's not to say how weird it is to both see Mark Hoppus and Travis Barker look old as shit and Tom DeLonge no where to be found (obviously he's out fighting aliens). The song is probably as good as anything they did in their hey day, although looking back, it's all kind of crap anyway.

More Crap: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by JT

I don't really have any more words for this. This is assuredly an energetic and confident jam, but it's so much like every other song I've ever heard in my life. Listen to this and just picture the beat. Would you still listen to it. Is it really jammable? Or is it just JT's sleepwalking lyrics? I simply think we ought to expect more from our pop. This is no "Get Lucky" for sure. The celeb dancing cameos also somehow come off really pretentious. I don't know why. Maybe because they're all enjoying it too much. Damn I've soured on this.

Once More: "One Dance" by Drake ft. Wizkid and Kyla

For the record, I am starting to get into the melodic smoothness of this jam, even if I find myself singing more the "Babyyyy / I like your style" way more often than whatever Drizzy is doing here. It is a sexy song and somewhat deserving of Summer Jamhood status, although it's clearly lacking in the ubiquity to really be that song that breaks out. Maybe that's just the era we live in now.

Next week...

I was thinking about Ariana Grande but ultimately left her off again this week. Same deal with The Chainsmokers and Desiigner. I want to get more into Twenty88 but "On the Way" hasn't set fire like I'd hoped. On the twenty note, I also was considering some twenty one pilots "Ride" but that's just not doing it for me. Stay tuned for more great coverage!

Summer Jam Week 8: Boom Goes the Beat for America!

Happy America, everybody - and as the fireworks explode in the sky outside, let us also explode...in our hearts. And pants. We're going straight down the middle this week, letting the beauty of pop exuberance wash over us. In many ways this is when Summer actually begins. Let the Purge commence! I mean, uh, listen to these fun jams:

Hot Jam of the Week: "M.I.L.F. $" by Fergie



Needless to say, I love this for so many reasons. I hope this stays a hot jam for a while, although I can't really see it catching on. First of all, even though it's spelled "M.I.L.F. $", the correct pronunciation is "Milf Money", which the Dutchess has equated to Milk for some reason. It's also crazy to me that Fergie has had exactly one previous solo album, which gave her a spectacular 2006-07, and then for some reason after her great break-out, she went BACK to the Black Eyed Peas, had a ridiculous 2009...then like nothing at all since then. It's a bizarre career. No event is too small for the Black Eyed Peas. This is also a bonkers video with Kim Kardashian, Chrissy Teigan, and Devan Aoki making appearances alongside a lot of random-ass models in a celebration of motherhood. Or something. Oh I hope Double Dutchess makes bank and 2016 becomes another Year of Fergie. It needs to come every ten years.

Stayin and Slayin at Home: "Work" by Fifth Harmony ft. Tyga

This video has had 623 million YouTube views. Let that sink in for a second. That's obviously because it's one o the hottest videos ever, filling me with weird horny boner feelings then immediately cutting to a sweaty greasy male construction worker. It's just that kind of summer. I'd probably still go Benny Benassi when I'm looking for construction girls.

Bill 'Em With Blindness: "Kill 'Em With Kindness" by Selena Gomez

Selena has been on the pop Summer Jam periphery for a while now, and this might be her ticket to the big show. I don't think the beat quite matches the vocals - it's way to fast and sounds like it was made on a keyboard, but this is listenable enough. I like the content, even if it loses itself when it gets out of the chorus, and it's an interesting match to Bieber's "Love Yourself" if indeed they're singing about each other.

I Love Cheap Thrills! "Cheap Thrills" by Sia ft Sean Paul

I do really love the complete lack of effort to translate whatever the hell Sean Paul is singing, but this clearly my favourite song of the week, and has been since This is Acting dropped months ago. The track was originally written for Rihanna's Anti, which as good as it is coming out of Sia, would have been damn spectacular slid in between "Yeah I Said It" and "Same Old Mistakes." Okay, I've listened to both these albums far too much this year. I think Sia does a spectacular job here, but Rihanna spitting this would have been a sight to hear.

Mrs. Dead Eyes: "Dangerous Woman" by Ariana Grande

This has kind of grown on me lately, even if it's still kind of a whatever cookie cutter type of pop song that's typical of most of Ariana's non-"Problems" work. I feel like she very rarely finds a song to match her talents, which are virtually without limit as far as I'm concerned. The chorus here works, but the rest seems to undersell her vocals. It's gearing up at this point, and while I don't think it's Queen material, I'd be curious to see where it goes from here.

Trolls! "Can't Stop the Feeling" by JT

I think I've reached my saturation point with all these songs. I'm just not impressed by their spiciness at all. This is just a song that could have been sung by anyone. I'm over it. It's still a perfectly cheery and energetic summer jam, but that's really not enough. We need something a little bit more special to truly earn Summer Jam status, and with eight solid weeks in the can, this is looking like the best we got so far. Where's our ubiquity!?

RiRi and Calvin: "This is What You Came For" by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna

See? I'm having trouble even distinguishing between all these jams. Each one is more similar than the last one. Is Fifth Harmony actually the most memorable jam right now? This one had a nice upsurge this week, although I'd honestly expect more out of Rihanna. They're all just kind of boring honestly. This has been on and off so far this summer, and if it stabilizes, it could make a nice dent in Summer Jamhood, but my inclination is that's not likely.

One More: "One Dance" by Drake and whatever

Now, I can't be alone in the feeling that even though this is the #1 jam on the Hot 100 and has made great strides across both Pop and Hip-Hop playlists, it just doesn't quite feel like the kind of Summer Jam that really takes hold of the country, right? It's not a "California Gurls" or "Party Rock Anthem" at all. This kind of shit happened last year with "Shut Up and Dance" which just took the Top Spot because no one else stepped up. We do have nine weeks left (it's amazing that we're nearly half over!), so we'll see!

Next week...

I may need to scour to do another "All Brand New Hotness" edition because we're getting mad stale mad fast. I narrowly left off the Chainsmokers this week, but other than that, I'm not hearing anything all that interesting. Keep your ears and hearts open people and to this, to you, to America, I say good day!

Summer Jam 2016 Week 7: Dancing All the Way to Independence

We've reached Week Seven, folks, and as we close out June and head towards the Fourth of July weekend, it's time for the Summer Jam to really get into full swing. The kids are out of school, no one really cares about being at work, the country is boiling it's time to GET DOWN.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Dance Off" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Idris Elba



I never thought I'd get to say "ft. Idris Elba" in one of these things, but I'm glad to do that here. It's remarkable how much he intones Vincent Price in "Thriller" considering if he's anyone he's the exact opposite of Vincent Price. It's just that menace in this voice and the Thriller-esque synths that start blaring. I'm still wholly on #TeamMacklemore, but I kind of get the impression that the rest of the country is over him. To be fair, his flow seems identical to his work on "Downtown" here, and even though their style is still very unique and independent, which ends up being refreshing compared to the rest of the industry, they haven't quite topped themselves yet. I generally really enjoy Ryan Lewis' direction as well, from his clever push-ins, cohesive framing, and overall embrace of goofiness. This Jam's hotness is fueled by an impressive Tonight Show performance this week, but I'd be surprised if it has a lot of staying power.

That One Shot: "All In My Head" by Fifth Harmony ft. Fetty Wap

I don't know how they got Fetty Wap to sing-rap over this (I also didn't realise he hasn't cut his hair since last summer), but unlike Tyga, he's actually not the worst part of this track, even if he's still unnecessary. To be fair, "Work From Home" could have nabbed the spot, but I love how soulless and manufactured this is. It's so obvious in its exploitation and cookie-cutter shittiness, yet the group has found some success. And of course, there's this one shot here. Now you have my attention. Thsi song could so easily stand in for any other pop song ever. I just listened to it twice and can't recall the beat.

Take a Cab: "Ride" by twenty one pilots

Wait, this video came out a year ago? Well, fuck it. This track's gained a lot of momentum on the radio and has been stuck in my head for a while now. It's pretty catchy if not a life-changing song. Twenty one pilots has had a bit of an upsurge recently, but I can't help feel like they'll turn out like X Ambassadors or MAGIC! where we'll never actually hear about them again. They're a trivia question, not a band with real potential. The also had that new Suicide Squad (2016) tie-in song this week, but I literally never heard it.

Like a Doll's Eyes: "Dangerous Woman" by Ariana Grande

So I named Ariana Grande my #1 SNL host this past season, but despite her natural screen charisma whenever she's on that show, she seems so damn dead in all her music videos. She just kind of stands there like she's too cold and has no idea what to do with her hands. It's really weird. Got a mean set of pipes, though, and this has started to grow on me like a mole I gotta check out. I've ignored it somewhat so far this summer, but it's worthy of acknowledgement and could make some waves it if stays hot.

Tripped Out Mellowed Down: "Up & Up" by Coldplay

This song isn't that popular, but this video is sweet and I wanted to ramble about it. I don't think anyone really cares about Coldplay anymore - they seemed to even know that during their Super Bowl performance a few months ago where they had Bruno Mars and Beyonce, both previous Big Game acts, throw down a far more memorable performance. This song is nearly indistinguishable from anything else Recent Coldplay has put out. Their last great album was clearly Mylo Xyloto, and the rest, while not really bad, just doesn't give me any reason to listen. But I like I said, this video rules.

I Like Your Style: "One Dance" by Drake ft. Whatever

You know, this SNL video is like, the only genuine Drake-voiced version of this jam on YouTube. I'm fine with that, but when is this shit dropping a music video?! It's been atop the Billboard charts forever now, surveying and commanding all the land within earshot. I almost left this off but I'm still hearing it a ton, and by now we ought to consider it to have a mighty assault on Summer Jam King status. Which is crazy. Lots of sunshine left, though.

How Low Can You Go?! "Cheap Thrills" by Sia ft .Sean Paul

I suppose I've been unfairly ignoring this jam, mostly because I listened to This is Acting like 40 times in a row when it came out, and this is one of the best songs off the album, so when I've been hearing it as a single it already found its way into my playlists back in February. Needless to say, this jam is spectacular and it's actually surging pretty well in popularity. Sidebar: I always thought the hook went "How Low Can You Go?!" instead of the proper "I Love Cheap Thrills!" which is perhaps the worst Mondegreen ever. Despite the words being the song's title, it wasn't until the music video that I figured it out. A music video, which is of course, awesome. I'll give Sia credit for not going with interpretive dance again, like she's done with every single other video ever, which works, but this is a nice breakout that's still damn fine.

JT RULES ALL: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake

They really gotta get that Dreamworks Animation Trolls off this song. No one's going to see Trolls (2016). But this was everywhere this week. Even though it seems to be up and down, this seems to be the proper duel for Drake and maybe "Panda" for Throne Status right now. Of course, we're still waiting for a proper jam to drop, which cold come from anywhere at this point.

Next week...

Has anyone noiced how hard Lil' Wayne is trying to drop a big new single? "OFF OFF OFF"? "Skate it Off"? "Sucker for Pain"? None of these songs are very good. I've also been looking at "Don't Mind" by Kent Jones, but I don't think the hotness is quite there. With some videos on YouTube FINALLY I was also close to throwing Beyonce's "Sorry" back on here, which would also pair nicely with Adele's new jam, but I didn't really hear them this week.

Summer Jam 2016 Week 6: Rise of the Pop

Into the throws of June we descend and as a complete reaction to a shift in what kind of radio I happened to randomly listen to, this week's Winners List is decidedly more pop-y. Still, that's what Summer is all about. In this personal journey across the great months of Sunship there are moments of great rock, hip-hop, and pop that spring up unexpectedly. Here's what we're laying down Week Six:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Give Me Your Love" by Sigala ft. John Newman, Nile Rodgers



It might just be the sight of Nile Rodgers pounding away on a guitar that reminds me of "Get Lucky," but this is a mighty funky jam that deserves some props this summer. It's got a thumping, if not overwrought hook and while Rodgers is clearly the best part of this track, it moves along at that exact intersection between chill and energetic that summer's all about.

The Queen's Reign Continues: "Send My Love" by Adele

Give me your love...send my love...pop needs to make up its mind. This isn't "Hello" level in ubiquity or grandiosity but it's worth a listen n glisten. Adele throws her all into this again and feels like she's trying to break more singles than Rihanna and Beyonce right now. No, that's not possible. I think this track actually has some steep valleys in between its sweeping chorus that could be worked on. I don't think this is a mega-jam but worth keeping an ear on.

Black and White and Heard All Over: "Panda" by Desiigner

This wasn't all over the place this week like it has been, but there's still a thick odor of Panda in the air. I'm still totally down with the Panda-takeover, even though I was pretty late to the party. I'm curious what kind of career Desiigner has, because he really doesn't feel like a distinctive rapper at all. This is almost a novelty song rather than something that says anything.

Bebe Baby: "No Broken Hearts" by Bebe Rexha ft. Nicki Minaj

This song's hook weirdly reminds me of "No Guns Allowed" by Snoop Lion. Maybe it's not there. I like Bebe riding her exposure through G-Eazy to crush this song, which feels equal parts epic and fun, the latter part is really the distinguishing aspect for this young lady. She's reveling in her funness here, making her song very listenable and her video extremely watchable. Sure there's also the real slutty dress, but everyone looks like that. It's also an amazing feat that Nicki drags down the song when she comes on rather than providing the highlight.

Country? What the Hell? "My Church" by Maureen Morris

It's so rare that I actually list a country song here. It's really oil and water for me. It just doesn't mix with anything inside me. Still, there's a little Miranda Lambert or Florida Georgia Line that sneaks in from time to time. I actually really like this jam and it's been rising steadily the past few weeks, stealing some play on mainstream pop stations in addition to the country stations that play it way more than "Panda" across this country anyway.

Calvin Harris Tries Again: "This Is What You Came For" by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna

If Rihanna can't dominate on her own, she'll do it as a featured artist. I actually didn't recognize her at first because this feels like something Ellie Goulding or Pia Mia would do, but whatever works. This is a typical EDM beat and pretty cookie cutter lyrics, but that's also exactly why it has potential to be pretty popular. In fact, I was tempted to place it even higher, since it felt like I heard it constantly this week, but it's a debut, baby, and we got bigger fish to grill.

Another John Lennon Joke: "Don't Let Me Down" by The Chainsmokers ft Daya

See, Rihanna feels like Daya in "This Is What You Came For." That's what I'm going after. This caps off a ridiculous string of pop hits that all sound exactly the same this week. I can't even hum the tunes of like, five of these. Still, it's popular so who cares? I'll listen to the superior Beatles cover.

Jamming Hole: "One Dance" by Drake ft. Who Cares

"One Dance" gets the nod this week not through ubiquity but to fill a gap left by no other real song that's currently taken over the country. This is about the time in Summer where the next big thing needs to drop and destroy everybody. Kids are primed to get out of school and vacation and summer camps are about to start. Who's gonna release our HOT JAM!? GaGa? Katy? Black Eyed Peas? Jeez that's reaching now. LMFAO FTW.

Next week...

JT is always on the periphery these days. I came close to including Ariana Grande's "Dangerous Woman" here along with strong efforts by Chance the Rapper as of late. Adding to that is Beyonce, Rihanna, and Sia's pop assaults, although crowding single releases (there's some argument that releasing a flurry of singles shouldn't even matter anymore) is blurring their potential. RHCP also dropped an alright "Dark Necessities" music video which is most impressive for showing that Anthony Kleidis somehow still has abs. All this and more as we drop one more Winners List before July and the Heat of Summer takes control!

Summer Jam Week 5: Jhene and Big Take Wedding Weekend

Listen - we knew we'd get to this post eventually today. It was a busy weekend. A weekend of weddings where everyone got married. So this is obviously your soundtrack - the ultimate party down fuel. For the weekend that just happened.

Hot Jam of the Week: "On the Way" by Big Sean & Jhene Aiko



Anyone who's read this column knows that I try to find any excuse I can to fit Jhene Aiko into my life, and after she earned the line of the year last summer with "Gotta eat the booty like groceries" I'm excited to see her on what could be the sexiest track of 2016. There are a lot of jams this week that could be set up to do pretty well, and I am a little wary of how niche this could be, but I enjoyed a lot of the slow jams on Twenty88, and I love even more that these two have named their collabo group the same title.

A Love Story: "American Money" by BORNS

This is certainly the odd-song out this week, but I woke up to it three times this week. Three times! I suppose that says more about the radio station I play in the morning than anything, but needless to say, it was on my mind. It's a cool kind of jam that has a slow lyrical pulse with a more agitated beat that's nice to wake up to if anything. This is not going to be a popular jam.

Three Short of a Decade: "Seven Years" by Lukas Graham

I'm so totally officially over this song and how introspective and lonely it makes me, but after a few absent weeks it's back here, baby. I can't actually look at Lukas Graham without laughing and thinking of Andy Milonakis or something. Any appreciation I once had for this track has been slowly sapped out of me for some reason, which is weird because I'll STILL listen to Rebecca Black every Friday.

Trolls! Oh no! "Can't Stop The Feeling" by Justin Timberlake

I thought I had it, but I totally had to search "new Justin Timberlake song" again to find this thing. "Can't Stop This Feeling" is just so damn totally generic that it blurs into whatever else is going on in my head. I wish this was a few more shades of distinctive, like "Suit & Tie" which goes for the same kind of jazzy throwback vibes to way catchier effect. Then again, I'm glad he's putting out new tunes, which he hasn't really done since "Suit & Tie." I mean, sure, "Not a Bad Thing" but whateeeever. Can you even hum that? No one can.

Uno Bailando: "One Dance" by Drake ft. Wizkid, Kyla

Anyone know who Wizkid is or what his contributions are here? I do actually want to here an only-Kyla version because she's really the one who pulls me into this jam with her slow burn sultry vocal development. This could be a whole lot longer, which would help, but I'm always surprised that it's actually only two minutes. It's still hanging out for sure, but c'mon, the industry right now is just waiting for something better to become ubiquitous this summer.

Listen No Where: "Hold Up" by Beyonce

Call this an even tie between this and "Sorry" most notably because anyone named Becky has become "Becky with the Good Hair." This of course is a song that can't be found anywhere but Tidal or really shitty chopped and skewed YouTube clips. But you know it. You know iiiittttt. I'm a fan of this jam for sure and I'm curious if it merges with "Sorry" and the rest of Lemonade or somehow ends up striking out enough on its own to catch on and be a jam worth jamming to.

Seven Winters and Six Summers: "All the Way Up" by Fat Joe - the Remix ft. Jay-Z, Remy Ma, French Montana, Infared

Yep. The remix is totally the one to listen to. If you haven't gotten the impression yet, this was totally a rap-heavy week, and I really dug this, even though it's been simmering for the past two weeks for sure. This is a triumphant comeback for Fat Joe who I think still can't really rap, but that's also the cherriest rhyme Jay-Z has dropped in quite some time. Remy Ma drops the best flow, though. This has a lot of pedigree for sure, and its hook is so simple, yet passionately inspiring (in a "Started From the Bottom Now We Here" kind of way for sure), its beat so laid-back and jazzy, that it ends up being highly listenable.

Does a Bear Eat Bamboo in the Woods? "Panda" by Desiigner

You knew it was coming! I'm so on the Panda bandwagon and so is America. The future of hip-hop. Oh jeez, that's all sorts of insane. Listening to this for the fortieth or fiftieth time this week I'm struck by how well I could live without the TTTRRRRRLLLLL-YEEE-AWWW!'s constantly in the background, but the flow is so modern, it's really the 2016 "Trap Queen." No doubt. Now, how long can it defend?

Next week...

There were plenty of deserving candidates left on the floor this week, in what could be our first real blow-up weekend of summer. "Sorry" was plenty deserving, and I actually started hearing a bit of Bieber's "Love Yourself" back again. I was also curious about "California" by Colonel Loud, specifically this remix, which of course exists to add another Snoop California mix to his oeuvre, because why not. He's contractually obligated to appear on any song mentioning California not by Phantom Planet. It also came out a year ago, but Grace's "You Don't Own Me" ft. G-Eazy is picking up, possibly because of the latter's career rising, but I remember that track last year. Finally, let's talk about Lil Wayne's "Gotta Lotta" which just totally sounds like a 2008 song.

Summer Jam Week 4: JT and Drake Lead Cookie Cutter Jams!

We've come crashing into June with a thunderous stroke of destiny, people. There is a plethora of interchangeable pop out there right now, with little resembling anything that actually stands out in the musical landscape. I'll admit I'm a little disappointed. I had leaned super into rock for a little bit, and into hip-hop last week, but this week it's totally pop. Not sure what to make of my fickle nature, but sink your ears into this week's ultimate jam list:

Hot Jam of the Week: "Ain't Your Mama" by Jennifer Lopez



Yeah, boy. This is a really weird song considering that at age 46, she's totally old enough to be most of our mothers. My first impression is that it's a sassy date song, saying that she's dating some scrub who can't cook or clean up after himself. If that's true, I mean, damn, this is like Boy Next Door (2015) shit. I'm down with J. Lo the cougar. I just can't believe she worked in that refrain about taco-flavoured kisses.

Three of a Kind: "Me, Myself, and I" by G-Eazy ft. Bebe Rexha

This is winding its way down a bit but still a decently hot jam. Its airplay is certainly on the decline, and it gets a spot here more on my still digging the track, although I'm probably close to reaching the limits of my tolerance here. It's still creeping around but I'm just about at the point where I change the channel instead of hearing it out.

Everest Style: "Frankie Sinatra" by The Avalanches

I'll admit it. I was totally drunk on Friday and somehow this track came to my attention. I'm not sure how, but I remember really loving it and adding it to all my playlists. Under the cold harsh light of sobriety I don't think it holds up as well, but it's too late now. You can't just take it off a digital playlist once it's added. Everything about this is pretty weird, and this will totally be a regrettable addition, but it made it. Forever, baby!

Oh, Feel Ya: "Ophelia" by The Lumineers

I ought to be careful, lest "Ophelia" win the Summer Crown just because it's fought its way on to the countdown each week by virtue of me listening to a lot of rock radio that don't change their playlists that often and the fact that I haven't gotten sick of this yet. For all of these reasons it remains, though. Actually this song kind of blows.

$50 Million Price Tag: "Panda" by Desiigner

I'm really glad that when I search YouTube for "Panda" this is the first result. Even Barack Obama has gotten in on the phenomenon. Who'da thunk it? I need someone to sit down Fetty, Future, A$AP (either one) and Desiigner and have them all sing-rap and then tell me the difference. This is the first time in my long history of hip-hop love where I've been tempted to say something along the lines of "All those young whipper-snappers sound alike!" And I have both D12 albums! Do you know how hard it is to differentiate between Kon Artis and Kuniva? This is a hot jam for sure, though.

"Lonely Man Porn: "Work From Home" by Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign

I love Fifth Harmony so much. I've really come around to this terrible band. It's a completely ironic love, although I think some of it is becoming genuine. It's so blatantly and obnoxiously horrible that it just seems obvious to me that it's ridiculous, right? How is this a real thing? I suppose I didn't think twice when Christina Aguilera was making far more risque music videos fourteen years ago, but the sex appeal here seems so surface level rather than empowering (is it ever? Let's not get into this debate), that it's actually stunning to me that they would be able to cultivate any kind of following based on their audial capabilities. Also, those hot dudes are terrible, I'm trying to jack off here.

Jewish Salsa: "One Dance" by Drake ft. Wizkid, Kyla

The more I listen to this the more generic it sounds to me. It just feels like any other pop song out there. It's not really hip-hop, which I suppose is actually an interesting turn for Drake, but what else can you say about the softest man in the game? That doesn't make it a bad song, and its biggest strength is probably the work that Kyla puts in on the bridge, but more and more this just seems inconsequential. It's decently popular, and not aggravating, but when that's the best you can say about a jam, is it really worth it? Fuck it. #2 this week!

Finally, Recognition: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake

So there's quite a bit to talk about with this one. After snubbing JT for the past two weeks this was finally a big enough presence in my life this week to not only earn a spot on the list, but the very #1 spot! This is as much a product of no other jam being especially dominant right now as anything else, but there's a lot of weirdness here. I totally had to look up the name of this song, and I couldn't name a single word besides "that new JT song." Like "One Dance" it feels extremely generic, like it's just checking off a bunch of boxes for a pop song. It's also apparently tied into Trolls (2016), which is an animated film coming out in November that no one knew was happening. That also explains why there's all these random people from Anna Kendrick to James Corden in the music video. Why do animated films suddenly have these pop songs attached? It's all insane.

Next week...

I remember at this point last year going through a similar level of ennui towards the current pop landscape. There's not really that big overpowering song to rule the roost yet. I mean, we've been dishing back and forth between "Panda", Drake, and JT with a little Fifth Harmony sprinkled in; when will the bass drop?! Connor4real, we need you! Oh shit. Well, there's always some Meaghan Trainor that I'm waiting to crack the zeitgeist. Stay tuned, true beliebers!

Summer Jam Week 3: The Odd Memorial Day Mix

For better or worse I've found that I've totally devolved into weird hip-hop and funky folk band music. It's an odd combination at best, and the Memorial Weekend soundtrack it's provided is pretty unusual. Still we have no regurts. Perk up your earballs, America:

Hot Jam of the Week: "No Problem" by Chance the Rapper ft. 2 Chainz & Lil Wayne



There seemed to be a lot of new rap jams dropping this week, but none were as fun as this track. It's my hope this is 2016's "Trap Queen" - it's at least equally unintelligible, but that matters less than its flow which is pretty addictive. Chance the Rapper needs a bit legitimizing hit. He doesn't have to convince anyone who listens to hip-hop that he's incredible, but the rest of the world ought to listen up.

Red Hot Funky Peppers: "Dark Necessities" by Red Hot Chili Peppers

This is quite a bit funkier than any Chili Peppers song I can remember, and even though I'd argue that the band has never gone away for too long, this is a nice jam to reassert their relevance. Is it actually relevant, though? There are way hotter jams out there right now and this feels like a relic without invoking Weezer-like nostalgia. I'm down, though. This is chill enough to beat the hotness this past weekend!

Keep That Funk Rolling: "Ain't No Man" by The Avett Brothers

Just as "Dark Necessities" is as funky as the Peppers are going to get, this is totally the Avett Brothers version of funk. I don't really care for most of their pop-folk jams, but this is a tits song. The video actually comes across mad awkward, and I don't know what the actual audience for this thing is - can you picture a drunken frat party belting this out? A Brooklyn block party? A West Virginian family reunion? Who knows and for that reason it'll vanish pretty quick, but for now it's a nice slice of summer.

Laid Off: "Work From Home" by Fifth Harmony

I get a lot of mixed feelings from this video. Just when I start to get a boner it's intercut with all these sweaty dudes. They slam beautiful people everywhere to confuse my poor sensibilities. This is still a pretty hot jam, though and even though the lyrics are kind of insipid and make no sense, I can get behind it for the next few weeks fo sho.

You Only Dance Once: "One Dance" by Drake ft. Wizkid & Kyla

This is another jam that's really growing on me, and even though there seems to be a few Drake jams going on at once right now (aren't there always?) the subtle sensuality of this track is starting to get its hooks in me. It's one fault might be that it's actually a remarkable short song. It tends to give me slow jam blue balls.

But It Feels Like a Lifetime: "7 Years" by Lukas Graham

I think I've officially gotten sick of this song. I can't get over how Lukas Graham looks like a little white kid who escaped from an Inglewood fat camp, but I am over how interesting this song initially was. It's probably not going anywhere for a few weeks, which is unfortunately for my poor ears.

Bamboo Boogie: "Panda" by Desiigner

Fine, I'm on board with this. After doubting this song's actual potential last week, this track's charm has won me over. I suddenly don't think it's going anywhere. The "panda" repeat is actually really infectious and Desiigner's rap style, basically an emulation of Fetty Wap, is pretty in vogue right now.

You're Breaking My Heart: "Ophelia" by The Lumineers

I heard this track a ton this week, and it's probably at its peak. This feels like a big step for The Lumineers, who side with The Avett Brothers in that pop-folk category that seems irrelevant if not for their niche sound. This has also crossed over to more pop stations in addition to its rock pedigree, which helped boost its obliquity this week. Is this really deserving of the Memorial Day crown? It doesn't feel like it, but there were plenty of close call this week.

Next week...

I dissed JT for the second week in a row, which may be to my detriment, but I'll stand by the jams I picked. I was also considering Flo Rida's new track, "Hello Friday" because you really can't have summer without Flo Rida. He doesn't actually make any real music, just sexy summer jams. I also can't figure out which single Rihanna is backing from Anti, because now "Needed Me" seems like a thing. Same with Beyoncé's "Sorry." Of course next week, we're most looking forward to is Connor4real...

Summer Jam 2016 Week 2: Live from Mt. Doom

Welcome to the Second Week of our Summer Adventure - we're still crawling out of our winter shells and into the bright sunshiney hope of the year's middle, and so we've got eight more hot jams to slather over. Now, these are obviously the hottest possible tracks around, definitely none that have been around for a year that I just discovered this week.

Hot Jam of the Week: "Way Down We Go" by Kaleo



This is a gritty-ass song, emphasized by the fact that it was recorded inside a volcano in Iceland. That's definitely a Dethklok-esque gimmick, but the end product is pretty satisfying. I did just hear it on the radio yesterday so it gets a spot here. In NMW's infinite reach and musical though leadership it's the least I can do to highlight a blistering group like this.

Just Us: "Me, Myself, and I" by G-Eazy ft. Bebe Rexha

This is kind of past its prime, so it gets a low spot, but it deserves some kind of mention since it's riding a solid wave from the spring. I dig G-Eazy, notably dishing on "I Mean It" two summers ago and this track is bolstered a ton by the confident nots of Bebe Rexha, whoever that is, whose owl sounds really push this into infinitely listenable territory. I think it's well past its peak, but like I said, only the hottest, baby!

90s Incarnate: "King of the World" by Weezer

You can tell I've been listening to more rock than pop lately, since there's no Demi Lovato or Natalie La Rose anywhere. Weezer totally found out how to tap back into their 90s sound, perfectly recreating that whole damn decade, for nostalgia fans everywhere. It's not even like they're really aping their earlier style, though, it's more like they're just still making good music that stands on its own. This of course contrasts with the Foo Fighters, who just kind of put out the same song each year since 2012.

Hamlet 3: "Ophelia" by The Lumineers

See, rock tends to be on a slightly different release spectrum than pop. All its hits are delayed before they hit our my ears. I swear. I dig this track, though, which rides that faux-pop folk trend started by Mumford & Sons in 2010 less than some of The Lumineers' more hipster-y work. I can see this being a nice one to jam to this summer, less obnoxious than it would sound at first.

Rufio FTW: "Lost Boy" by Ruth B

This is such a sweet little song, probably too mellow and maudlin for true Summer Jam-ness, but it's still a pretty hot track right now. I like the dissonance of this chick calling herself a Lost Boy - gender roles be damned fo sho. Was this on the Pan (2015) soundtrack? Do you guys remember Pan? No? That makes sense. I'd be curious to see how this floats on, because it's an addictive, if not a sorrowful track.

Sneeze on This: "Panda" by Desiigner

This is totally the kind of song where I'm not sure if the artist's name was "Panda" or "Desiigner." Also those double i's are really annoying. This is fun. all over again. This was a soaring jam this week, though, even if the lyrics are real weird. Ultimately this is no "Trap Queen" or "Jumpman," though. There's just nothing really distinctive about this to put it over the edge. I do dig that part where he just says "Panda" over and over though.

Seat to This: "Work From Home" by Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign

I get endless joy from Fifth Harmony. You know they were all born in like 1996, right? And none of them are white! As far as Simon Cowell's manufactured and exploited pop groups go, they've seemed to rise above other sheer trash like Cher Lloyd or Little Mix. I also had no idea this was made up of five women until I saw their first music video. Somehow they've turned themselves into not a one-hit wonder, and are mounting an assault on Summer 2016 just like they did last year. Risky move to not sell with sex.

Pop Lifetime: "Seven Years" by Lukas Graham

So just about all these songs are kind of boffo as Summer Jams. This may has well be the week of slow sad jams. And "Work From Home." Like I said, Sad Jams. Lukas Graham looks like Clark Duke if he tried to be a rapper. Except he doesn't actually do any rapping. This is a popular track though, even if I struggle to picture it playing successfully at a college graduation party. Too heavy, bro! I'm figuring this hangs for a while at this point.

Next week...

There's a new JT jam out, and it debuted at #1, but it kind of blows so I skipped it for now. It'll probably be here next week if it spreads like it should. Other than that, I'm still looking to Bieber and Ariana, but they both seem to be falling more than rising. I definitely leaned into the rock this week. Time to bring back the R&B Jam of the Week methinks...stay tuned for the Memorial Day Edition!

Summer Jam Week 1: LE TIT BEGIN!

We've finally made it, people. For the seventh (SEVENTH) consecutive summer we'll be taking a moment out of your week each and every week to countdown the hottest, blistiest, bustiest, tightest jams around. Only the tastiest beats may apply. More often than not this really just comes down to the eight songs I was into the most that week. And yet this is the most important countdown you'll get. By far. We put vH1, Billboard, and your grandma's stereo to shame.

For last year's results, which I will probably totally retcon, because a year out I couldn't even remember the name of my named winner (it was Walk the Moon - ugh), click here. When you're done with that, prepare yourself to press on for seventeen weeks of mind-blowing inane riffings on pop music. DIG IN, cowboy!

Hot Jam of the Week: "Kiss It Better" by Rihanna



This video dropped a while ago, but I just heard it on the radio this week so here you go. Like I said, this list only features the most modern, up-to-date fresh jams available. This is just getting started, though, and I'm pumped. I was really really obsessed with Anti back in February, 2016, and this was my second favourite jam off the album (to "Same Ol' Mistakes" obvi). I wanna see this jam rip up summer because Rihanna is underrated as one of the most original and independent artists out there, who totally actually outsells everyone over her lifetime.

What Ever Happened to Pop Punk? "Bored to Death" by Blink 182

It died a slow, painful death. I can't really pretend that I like Blink 182 anymore, although I totally dug them from 1998-2002. I have three of their albums. They're really a pretty awful band and I thought they broke up, but whatever. This jam is really forgettable, but has nice timing to take on summer, fulfilling the ass-blasting niche that no one has been terrible enough to fill since they became irrelevant years ago. Again, I have three of their albums.

Cover of the Week: "The Sound of Silence" by Disturbed

Oldie but a goodie. Okay, I just wanted to rant about this. How good and random is this jam. Great for summer parties. All night long, baby! No better way to crush some pussy on the beach, playa!!! Now, for reals, this is somehow an incredible cover, mostly on the extreme change in vocal timbre, since much of the rhythm and instrumentation remains fairly similar. Gets me pumped though. Crushin' dick on the beach, playaaaa!!

Canadian Bacon: "One Dance" by Drake ft. Kyla & Wizkid

This is the kind of song that I need to check seven times to make sure I got the featured artists right. Drake is boosted this week by a pretty competent SNL hosting gig, and even though it's the #1 jam on the Hot 100 right now, this really hasn't invaded my life like "Hotline Bling" did to everyone in the world last Halloween. It's still a sexy jam, though, and we'll leave it here. For now. I'm not that convinced this is something we're going to keep coming back to all summer.

From the Roof of Apple Records: "Don't Let Me Down" by The Chainsmokers ft. Daya

You really should listen to the Beatles single, which is a way better version of this song. One of my favourite Beatles tracks, and I should know - I turned the second track on Rubber Soul into the name of this blog. Upon my second or third listen, though I think this isn't a cover but rather an original track. Lame. This is as good and catchy as EDM gets, and although it's really not the best Chainsmokers song, or even their best song of the past year, it could have some legs. Maybe.

Poppin Like Doc Venture: "Pill in Ibiza" by Mike Posner

This track is definitely a few weeks into its lifetime and we probably won't see it past June or so, but I think it hold strong until then. It's kind of a cool ethereal song that I actually find myself getting into. I don't think it ever gets as good as that first humming lyric, but Posner just rides it for the entire track. The beat is as forgettable as any non-Major Lazer EDM jam, but people like this crap (like I said, even I'm addicted), so it can stretch quite a bit.

This is Your Life: "7 Years" by Lukas Graham

This is kind of a weird track and Lukas Graham looks like he's 14, but it's pretty damn catchy and this boy can sing. That's really the only formula you need. It's distinctive, heartfelt, and invigorating. It's also been around for a few weeks to establish itself, but I think that will help it for these first few weeks more than anything.

Hand Action: "Love Yourself" by Justin Bieber

So, if 2016 accomplishes anything, it accomplished the first time that I unironically loved a Justin Bieber song. This is fucking incredible. I love the muted sarcasm, the confident break-up anthem, and smooth, pared down melody to coo along with really biting but honestly clever lyrics. It exists in a bit of a tonal quagmire because of its inherent negativity but the loose edginess it has offers sublime sing-a-long-ability. While the video is cool and interesting, I wish it matched with the lyrics on a more thematic level instead of just dropping hints at coherence. Your first #1 of Summer is something I think could make a solid dent, even if it's absolute freshness has probably peaked. But hey - "Shut Up and Dance."

Next week...

All of these songs we'll keep our eyes on, but it's about guaranteed that I stop talking about Disturbed. Ariana Grande, Meg Trainor, and Fifth Harmony all have some solid jams either bopping right nor or coming down the pipe. More than that, if Beyoncé can spin something really momentous off of Lemonade she can have a fearsome summer. I think her issue right now is exclusivity. Catering only to HBO and/or TIDAL supporters is a rough business. "Sorry" is alright, but I don't think that's her real hook, either. Stay tuned each and every Monday morning for your dose of HOT JAM!